Prank Calls Knows Best

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Chrisley Knows Best at all. Chrisley Knows Best and its people are owned and associated by the USA Network. Anyway, here's something I thought you'd never see. The very first fic for the show, Chrisley Knows Best! Anyway, it features Todd, Chase and two very special guests everyone may or may not be familiar with. You may have to look down just for the ending.


Todd Chrisley was busy resting at his place somewhere near Nashville, Tennessee. His wife Julie was out going grocery shopping with Grayson, Chase was out chasing girls like always and Savannah was hanging around in her condo far away from the Chrisley home. This finally gave Todd some alone time as he rested on his luxurious couch, reading a fashion magazine.

"Mmmm, this looks very good," Todd said as he checked out a long-sleeved snake skin collared shirt. "I like it how it shows off my muscles."

With a smirk complete, Todd was enjoying his time. However...

*RIIIIIIING!*

The phone started ringing. Curious to see who was calling in his alone time, Todd picked up the phone.

"Hello, this is Casa La Chrisley, who is this?" Todd asked.

"Uh, yes, this is Imasure," The caller replied.

"Imasure who?" Todd raised his eyebrow.

"IMASURE GLAD I ATE YO MOMMA!" The caller shouted.

"What the hell?!" Todd gasped. "Chase, is this you?!"

Before the caller could answer, he hung up on Todd. This left the fashion magnate obviously mad.

"I swear I'm never gonna figure that jackass out..." Todd shook his head as he went back to his magazine.

But before he can, the phone rang again, leaving Todd to answer it.

"Hello?" Todd replied.

"Hello, Mr. Chrisley," The caller replied.

"Yeah?" Todd sighed as he heard the caller laugh.

"Please hold for a collect call from... JOE MAMA!"

"Huh, Joe Mama?" Todd cluelessly replied. "What are you-"

However, he overheard the caller boisteriously laughing at him. Finding out that this was a prank call, Todd angrily told them off.

"Are you frickin' prankin' my ass right now, Chase?!" Todd growled. "You better speak up right now!"

Once again, the caller hung up on Todd.

"That bastard hung up on me again," Todd groaned, setting the phone down in complete rage. "I swear when he comes home, I'm gonna rip that kid's butthole inside out!"

After calming down, Todd went back to his magazine.

But then...

*RIIIIIIIIIING!*

The phone started ringing again, leaving Todd angry and impatient.

"All right, that's it!" Todd growled as he picked up and answered the phone, "What is it now, Chase? Did you come here to tell me the damn fridge is running on me and I have to catch it? Because I swear, if you tell me that, I'll rip your hair off that pretty face of yours and attach it straight to your ass. That way, everyone will call you 'carpet-ass'!"

With a smirk coming from the caller, he told Todd these words:

"THE 80'S CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR COUCH BACK!"

"Really?" Todd groaned. "Is that what you wanted to tell me, Chase? For your information, this couch is from the 21st century. It wasn't born in the-"

Yet then, Todd was cut off when all of a sudden...

*THUMP!*

Todd landed right on his butt mysteriously.

"OW!" Todd yelped in pain. "WHAT THE-?"

Todd suddenly looked around to see the couch mysteriously gone from under him. It was almost like the couch suddenly did a magic trick and left the male fashionista suddenly couchless.

After hearing more laughter from the caller, Todd went all rage mode.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKIN' FUNNY, CHASE?!" Todd shouted. "YOU LIKE TO PLAY GAMES WITH TODD FUCKIN' CHRISLEY? WELL, JUST YOU WAIT FOR THE WRATH OF TODD TO COME DOWN ON YOU! JUST YOU FUCKIN' WAIT!"

Not taking this kind of bullshit anymore, Todd hung up, took his keys and headed out for the door.

Meanwhile...

Chase Chrisley was at a coffee shop talking to a beautifully attractive blonde woman in her 20's. She had a tight blue dress, medium blonde hair, firm chest, luscious red lips, long curvaceous legs and gleaming green eyes. She went by the name of Heather, a name that Chase definitely loved since she felt so fuzzy like a feather.

"Ooooh, you're such a tease..." Heather said, smirking at one of Chase's jokes.

"Yeah, Grayson spit milk out of his nose so hard, it soaked my Dad right in the pitcher's arm." Chase smirked back.

While she kept on laughing, Heather noticed the White Sedan that was being parked outside Starbucks. Chase's own father, Todd Chrisley, came out of the car and angrily marched inside the store.

"Hey, is that your father?" Heather said, pointing at Todd.

"Oh no..." Chase cringed, covering his face at the sight of his own dad.

"You think your little pranks on your ol' Dad are funny, huh?" Todd replied. "You think my couch disappearin' on me is hilarious? Well, let's see if you find this little prank call hilarious! Ring-ring!"

Imitating a phone ringing, Todd picked it up and pretended to talk on it.

"Hello, what's that?" Todd gasped. "Chase Chrisley is banned from using every phone in my house until the day he dies? Okay, then!"

Just like that...

*CRASH!*

Todd Chrisley threw Chase's phone on the floor and started stomping on it, much to his son's sudden shock.

"DAD, STOP!" Chase shouted. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

Todd didn't understand the hell what Chase was saying. His voice was drowned out by the loud stomps from Todd's left foot. Every time Chase would hear the sound of his foot break a part of the phone's circuits, he would die a little more on the inside. Todd kept stomping on it until the phone was turned to rubble.

While Chase looked down in horror, Todd picked up the last circuit piece and showed it to his son.

"Good luck making your fuckin' prank calls, now!" Todd shouted. "See ya at home, carpet-ass!"

And then, he threw the circuit piece down, breaking it in half. But before Todd could leave however, he turned to his son one last time.

"By the way, you owe me $20 for the old couch I had!" Todd snarled as he left.

After Todd left on his favorite White Sedan, Chase left to go pick up dust. The dust that was his cell phone. The same cell phone that his father Todd Chrisley had destroyed in front of his eyes. The image was so painful to watch that he had to go look away without ever taking a peek at his already dying phone.

"WHAT IN THE HELL DID I EVEN DO?!" Chase shouted to himself.

"What's your Dad's problem?" Heather replied.

"I don't have no frickin' clue!" Chase cried out. "Who's doing this to me?"

Meanwhile...

Both Mordecai and Rigby were hanging by the park's house, snickering and chattering while sitting on the couch that Todd Chrisley was sitting on.

"Dude, prank calling reality stars is the best!" Rigby the raccoon chuckled.

"Yeah, this cell phone from the '80's is the bomb!" Mordecai the bluejay chuckled back.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOA!" Said both men as they hollered like crazy.

"Hey, let's prank call Willie Robertson and see if he's got his Jeep!" Rigby suggested.

"You know it, bro!" Mordecai fist-bumped his friend before going back into the phone book. When it came to prank-calling, no one was ever safe from Mordecai and Rigby. Ever.


Yeah, just in case you didn't know, Mordecai and Rigby are characters from Cartoon Network's hit cartoon "Regular Show". I was inspired by one of the episodes that had Mordecai and Rigby stuck in the 1980's. I hope the rest of you all dug this little one-shot of mine. Anyway, until next time, "Class, Not Ass!" Heh, I always wanted to do that.