Every drop of rain that hit the windscreen felt like it was hammering against my heart, with blurry eyes and shaking hands I turn on the wipers, it barely makes a difference. I'm not sure if it's the rain or my tears that are making it impossible to see, but I just can't seem to make them stop.

The trees flying past the window already a blur, seem to just melt into one green mess as each tear hits the steering wheel. Each one representing sorrow, regret, anger and pain. I thought it I was prepared, that I knew what I was doing but I was a fool.

I should never have trusted someone that so many people warned me against, that so many people knew better than I did and I just disregarded their knowledge and experience and thought I had all the answers and that they knew nothing.

I thought it would be sweet; romantic even, I was wrong. Walking through that brown front door with the little white flower felt so natural, I had been doing it for months. It was like a second home to me, a home I feel safe in. A home I feel loved in. A home I felt loved in.

Felt, it's funny how quick something can go from being present tense to past tense. How quick change can happen. A matter of seconds, microseconds even. For life to go from being perfect to having your heart feeling like it's about to shatter into tiny little pieces that can never be pieced back together. For me it took approximately 3 minutes, 3 tiny little minutes waiting for 2 little lines to appear on that stupid stick. In those 3 minutes' anxiousness turned to joy and then joy turned to dread knowing I would have to tell him. But then that dread turned into hope and excitement, excitement for this new future and new adventure we would get to go on together which brought happiness.

A happiness that felt like it would never go away, it wasn't just like walking on cloud nine it was like being told you could live on cloud nine for the rest of your life. A feeling of being completely and utterly full and complete. Like nothing would ever make your life any more perfect. And nothing, no one would be able to bring you down from this high.

But everything that goes up, must come down. That's life's rule. Balance. Everything must have a balance, a counterpart. Tall, short. Happy, sad. Life, death. It's all about balance.

The balance of joy and happiness is misery and despair, and misery you feel, not only in your heart but in your bones, you feel it in the very essence that is you.

Misery hits you like walking into a brick wall, or walking into a room you had been in thousands of times to encounter something you never thought you would see in your life. Bedding that had been wrapped around your body more times than you could count while you stayed up talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. That stupid broken lamp on the bedside table, the one that you always forget is broken and reach to turn on in the mornings. The mirror opposite the bed that you always catch his eye in and he does that adorable little grin that lets you see the love in his eyes. Those little details they never changed, but the room felt different, wrong, almost like it knew that something has been done that can't be undone.

Shock came first, the look of surprise on their faces when I walked through that door and discovered them in bed together, clothes thrown across the floor in their haste, bed sheets rumpled and hair that was tousled from having fingers run through it repeatedly.

Guilt was next, it's not often that you find your fiancée in bed with your stepsister but I was surprisingly calm as I patiently waited for them to get dressed, both looking incredibly guilty and afraid of what would happen from here.

Paul was dressed first, trying to come over and hold me or comfort me but just the thought of him touching me with those hands made me physically feel sick, knowing where they had been, what they had been doing and touching made my skin crawl.

"Bella, please you have to listen to me it was a mistake, a stupid stupid mistake, this is the first time it happened and it'll be the last, she came here looking for you and we ended up in a stupid argument and then one thing led to another and I am so so sorry!" He was pleading with me to understand, and I could hear the words he was speaking but they weren't processing in my brain.

My entire world felt like it was caving in around me, I was here to announce something amazing, a new creation of life. A perfect little combination of him and I that would grow up in a happy home with little brothers and sisters and happy parents who were deeply in love, and now it all felt like the biggest lie in the world.

Leah was begging me too, saying something about hating Paul and not understanding why it happened, how she loves me and would never hurt me this way and all I can think about is the tiny life that's growing inside me and the awful decision I have to make from here.

"I'm pregnant" I end up blurting out as they are both trying to tell me their side of the story, both of them freeze and then a flicker of emotions passes on each of their faces. Pauls first showing complete ecstasy and love, then turning into dread and lastly into regret, I can see from his eyes that he understands exactly what has happened here today.

Leah was different, she just instantly started bawling, saying how sorry she was and that it was her fault, that she should never have let the argument get so heated but it's all just whooshing in my head, almost like I can hear the sound of my blood running through my veins. It's becoming too much; I feel like I can't get any air, I turn and go to the living room, the thought of sitting on that bed too much to handle.

They both follow me silently as I sit and try to process the fact that my life is turning to shambles around me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

It's funny how all three of our lives have changed in this one instant and here we are, just sitting silently on the sofa exchanging blank hurt, sorrowful stares.

"Bella baby, you have to listen to me and think rationally right now, I love you. I have always loved you, I don't know why this happened today but it was a heated argument that just escalated and escalated, I can't tell you that I know why because I don't but all I know is that I love you and nothing like this will ever happen again" The more words he says, the faster the tears fall. The less oxygen I am able to get into my lungs, the more my heart is beating erratically and my mind is on overdrive.

"I can't believe you right now. I can barely look at either of you." I can hear in my own ears that I sound devastated and full of pain. I feel like my world is ending.