Moral of this story: Don't ever give Migura ice cream and tell her to write. The results are not pretty. Or if they are pretty, they're pretty random. =)
This is set after the series has ended.
Dedicated to Katie, God bless, who would have loved to actually see me writing stuff besides essays and poetry and hopefully would have laughed hysterically, as I hope will all of you
The Very Secret Diary: of Mr. Coddrington
Day One: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
I have changed my ways… I will no longer be a horrible, condescending, treacherous man. I will not revert back to my old habits. I will not. Especially not if that creepy psychologist girl comes back and tells me her sister is waiting to force me into a giant hamster's wheel and make me power a building by running. I am quite awful at exercise, you know.
Day Two: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
As part of my rehabilitation, I am supposed to copy sentences down, I may as well do it here.
Connie Lionheart is a wonderful, sweet, caring universal. She is a fantastic girl who I will never, ever, ever discriminate against nor use to my advantage. Connie Lionheart is amazing in every way, and I shall worship her as a hero for her kind personality…
Honestly, what clown came up with these sentences to write? Oh no! I see that weird twelve-year-old psychologist! I mean… I completely and whole-heartedly agree with those statements. CONNIE LIONHEART IS THE MOST AMAZING PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!
The companion to weather giants, Shirley Masterson is a selfish, bratty snob who deserves to be chucked into the prisons of Elizabeth Star and bake said girl a dozen cookies a day for the rest of Shirley's sorry life.
That is not true at all! My protégé is quite modest and charming! Even more special than that freak they have the nerve to call a un-
That scary psychologist is here again… with another girl, who has a sledgehammer…
I HAVE CHANGED MY WAYS! I AM A GOOD MAN! I WILL WORSHIP CONNIE LIONHEART, BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING…
Day Three: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
I am currently serving detention in the prisons of the girl they call Elizabeth. Apparently, this is supposed to be part of the reforming process. I think it is really an excuse for slave labor. I WILL NOT BAKE ANY MORE COOKIES FOR THAT SPOILED, GLUTTONOUS, SELFISH COOKIE MONSTER !
I mean… I will go and bake more sugar cookies with raspberry extract and the finest ingredients possible.
Day Four: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
This rehabilitation is exhausting. I will refuse to continue with this! I—
That girl… the one they call… Nikki? has a sledgehammer… I shall be quiet and I will dutifully carry on with my treatment.
Day Five: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
I am plotting to get out of here as quickly as possible. I put a sleeping powder in the cookies I was forced to bake. Hopefully, it will affect all three girls—the one with the sledgehammer, the creepy psychologist girl, and that one who demands cookies so much. I am also armed with some tranquilizers for my other two captors.
Day Five: from the Journal of Migura
All is going well. Sarah has been quite content with having a victim to practice her psychology on. Lyzi seems to like forcing our captive to make cookies. I wonder if he knows that she doesn't eat cookies but that she just likes to smell the scent of freshly baked cookies? She actually doesn't like eating them… I wonder why, then, she insisted that we spend about twenty percent of the budget given to us by the Society on purchasing only the best-quality ingredients… Must get Sarah to analyze her on that.
I noticed that one of my tranquilizer guns is missing. Hm. It seems to be the set that I made myself, when I was seven… I accidently built it backwards, somehow. When someone pulls the trigger on it, it backfires on them, and shoots them in the face instead… I always leave it there as a booby trap… I wonder…
I'm going to have a few cameras installed, to see what wonderful mischief our prisoner is up to…
Day Six: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
The blasted gun didn't work! It shot ME in the face! I was unconcious for hours! Now, the girl with the sledgehammer is standing guard over me, and I'm chained to my bed. And they took away my little Pooky Bear!!! How can I sleep without him…?
Day Seven: from the Very Secret Diary of Mr. Coddrington
I will never admit defeat! I will never…
Ooh… they're offering to give me my Pooky back if I reform! I shall! I shall!
Day Eight: from the Journal of Migura
Ah. Bliss. He finally is gone. I've gotten tired, of thinking up threats. I may love my sledgehammer to bits, but it is very weary, holding it for over three hours in a row. He is reformed. Irreversibly, I hope. If not, I did implant a self-destruct in his stuffed bear.
Life is good. As are cookies. But, alas, getting reviews on my stories are even better. No matter how strange, silly, and attrocious they are.
