I sat quietly in the Gryffindor common room, reading a romantic novel given to me by my best friend Alice Prewett, when the four boys -who were all whispering nervously-walked in through the portrait hole. For a few weeks now I, Lily Evans, had been dating James Potter, honorary Marauder and prankster. Obviously, the news that I had finally caved and started dating James, spread rapidly throughout the school, to the utter amazement and delight of the whole student body (except James Potter's fan club of course!) I swore I saw Mcgonagall mumbling something about Slughorn owing her 10 galleons when we revealed our relationship. Nothing was kept a secret around here. Nothing.
I loved the Marauders; every single one of them. And they loved me back. I was their sister, friend, mother, fellow prankster, teacher and in James' case, lover. So, after years of hatred, quarrels, fights and broken hearts it was quite a surprise to me when I came to terms with my feelings for them (especially James.) But I knew I'd been wrong this whole time. Oh Merlin, what had I gotten myself into?
"Lily flower, we have something to tell you!" Sang a handsome, teenage boy named Sirius Black, heading towards the armchair near the fireplace I was sitting in.
"No nicknames, Black." I huffed exasperatedly.
"Love, it's okay. We just have something important to tell you that we feel you should know." James Potter smiled lop-sidedly.
"In private," added the plump, and slightly quieter boy, Peter Pettigrew.
"Please?" James smiled innocently, shining his puppy dog eyes up at me.
I nodded once, not trusting my mouth. God damn his beautiful face, and his bright hazel eyes flecked with gold, and his perfectly toned body. boy will be the downfall of me, I swear. It was then I noticed Remus wasn't talking, and instead looked pale and ill.
"Remus, you look really drained. Are you okay?" I said worriedly. Drained was an understatement. More like dead.
"Hm. Oh..yeah..right. I'm...fine." Remus smiled weakly, although the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. I wasn't convinced. Something was going on around here.
"Okay then let's go." I said, standing up and placing my delicate hand in James' large calloused ones.
An awkward silence, as thick as a blanket of snow lay upon us whilst we walked, and I could tell something was going on. I cast furtive glances around. Remus was with Sirius at the front, their hands stuffed into their pockets and eyes focused on the floor. Peter kept staring at me curiously. James was looking at the map, figuring out where to go, with one hand still clasped in mine. When I finally plucked up the courage to ask what was happening, James called out:
"We're here, stop."
I watched amused, as he paced back and forth, a look of pure concentration displayed on his face. Suddenly, a door appeared in the wall. What the hell. Gaping, I turned to the boys. For the first time all night, they chuckled at my expression, then turned to each other grinning.
"Ladies first," cooed Sirius, mock-bowing, Before swiftly reaching for the door handle.
"Why thank you, my lord." I said giggling. I walked excitedly into the room, and was taken aback. There was a roaring fire surrounded by sofas, armchairs, a coffee table and refreshments. Merlin, it was so amazing. Cocking my head to the side questionably, I turned to the boys.
"Cool right? It's called the Room of Requirement. Yeh. You just think really hard about what kind of place you want, and the stuff in it, and then the door appears. We discovered it in 2nd year. It's actually really handy, believe it or not." Sirius explained to me, smirking.
"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked, a little annoyed of being kept in the dark.
"That's for Mooney to say." Replied sirius nonchalantly.
"Okay. Shoot." I said turning to Remus Lupin. He looked like he was going to burst into tears right then and there. He didn't. But the silence seemed to last an eternity and a half to me. And It was worse than tears.
"Lily. You know we're really close friends. Practically brother and sister, even. I understand If you don't want to be friends with me any-"
"WHAT?! NO YOU'RE MY FRIEND!" I screamed hysterically, not understanding where this was going.
"No Lily," he hesitated momentarily, "I'm a werewolf."
Hmmmmm. Werewolf. Yup. So this was what all this was about? All that nervousness. Merlin. They must've been waiting to tell me this for a while. Wondering what my reaction would be. I realised they were waiting for an answer, as all eyes were on me.
"Look," Lupin sobbed, actually crying "we don't have to stay friends...but.. please...just.. don't...tell...anyone." Tears rolled down his pale cheeks, and he failed to stifle his sobs. Remus was like a brother to me, I loved him and could tell him everything. I wasn't about to let that go. Before anyone, including myself, realised what I was doing, I had flung my arms around Remus' neck. He stood there stunned and confused, with his arms by his sides. Now crying myself, I gently said to the werewolf:
"Remus I love you. You're like a brother; a part of my family. I love you, remus lupin, for who you are, and nothing will ever change that."
"Yeh but I could hurt someone and-"
"No, Remus. It's once a month. There are twelve moths in a year. That's not much. This doesn't change anything. This doesn't change you." Now he was hugging me back, and occasional snorts of nervous and relieved laughter was muffled by us both crying. I wiped my eyes, and smiled crookedly. I spun around just in time to hear Sirius say to James "Prongs, that's one hell of a girl."
Before James chuckling, replied "Don't I know it." Inwardly, I smiled.
"Are you sure you're okay Lily?" Remus asked me carefully.
"Just wonderful," I said, before quickly adding "Mooney."
The Marauders burst into laughter, because I had finally, finally understood that nickname. But then, Remus suddenly stopped, and turned cautiously to me.
"Lily, one more thing. You might not like it but, in order to help me with my transformation every full moon, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs became illegal animagi. But it's okay, because they're really good at it and never get hurt."
Funniest thing ever. I collapsed into fits of laughter. Yeah right! Ha! They weren't fooling me! No way, not ever never. Them! Animagi! Oh Merlin's right testicle that's funny. And they thought I was gullible. After five minutes, I realised I was the only one laughing. They were all staring at me with odd looks on their . Ooh. Great Merlin's Aunt Sally.
"Oh you're not kidding. Merlin. Sorry. I just thought that requires so much work. Not really you're kind of thing, see?"
"Ah, but lily-flower, it was worth it for Mooney."
I grinned excitedly. "Can I see it?"
"Oooh, of course." Sirius smirked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Ha. No. What do you turn into?"
"Wait and see, baby." There was a loud crack, and where Sirius had been moments before, there was a big shaggy black dog. Another crack and there was a fat, grey rat where Peter had been.
I chuckled loudly. "Padfoot? Wormtail?"
They changed back, laughing too. I peered over at James quizzically. I blinked once, and there was a beautiful stag hobbling over to me. It had hazel eyes, and large, chiselled antlers. Oh Merlin no. A stag. But my patronus was a doe. That meant... Oh . I love him...don't I? I think I was hyperventilating. Now The boys were all standing around me. I felt suffocated. They were talking, but I couldn't here what they were saying. They looked worried, concerned even. I must've fallen down at some point. My eyesight's failing. I can't see anything. I'm scared now and very alone. There's Only darkness.
I could hear voices faraway.
"What happened? She was fine until she saw you're animagus."
"I dunno Padfoot. Honestly. But I think she hit her head pretty hard."
"Lily? Lily, can you hear us?" Sirius bellowed.
"Could you been any louder, black?" I grinned, opening my eyes. I winced in pain when I tried to sit up.
"What happened?" I asked. Strangely, I couldn't remember.
"Love, you fainted and hit your head after seeing me in all my beauty." James winked smirking.
At first, I rolled my eyes, but then I recalled the recent events and shut my eyes tight.
"Lily? What's wrong?"
I sighed and opened my eyes. I couldn't even bring myself to look at his face. Coward. I pretended my nails were interesting, as I prepared my self to talk.
"I'm scared." I said simply "I'm scared because...well... I'm not going to live forever. Someday I'm gonna die, James. Whether that happens tomorrow, or 70 years from now, it's inevitable. And that scares me. But not as much as living a life without you. Seeing your animagus made me realise that, I can't be without you and you can't be without me. And we're living in dangerous times James. People are dying in this war James, and that can't be stopped. Most of all, it made me realise that...I love you. More than anything. And, well, this...us...we're just in love. So, I can never, ever let you get hurt. I'd rather die. Why? Because, James, us spending our lives together is inevitable. And I like it like that."
He scooped me up, and kissed me softly on the lips; I snuggled into his chest. "You know I love you. But, Lily, don't worry. Yes, we're gonna get hurt along the way. But, it sure as hell has been worth it, right?"
"Yeah, I loved every minute of it."
We all just sat in front of the fire for awhile, in comfortable silence. Suddenly, Remus looks up with a frown on his face.
"Lily? Why did seeing James' animagus make you faint and think all that? Do you not like stags?"
I smiled sheepishly. "Well, on the contrary I love stags. That's it. I never told anyone this...but-" I hesitated. Was I really ready to say this out loud? That would make it official, I guess. Deep breaths, Lily. They were all looking expectantly at me now.
"Okay, so you know how your patronus takes form as the same animal as you're animagus? Well...just watch, okay?"
I stood up and stumbled across the room, legs still numb from fainting. Carefully, I took a few deep breaths. I remembered the time when I had been playing with Petunia as a girl; when I had gotten my Hogwarts letter when I was eleven; When I passed all my tests; hung out with my friends and when I had first kissed James Potter -the one and only love of my life. Using my happiest memories and emotions, I put all my energy into that spell.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
From the tip of my wand, a silvery animal burst forth. It pranced gracefully around the room, and we all watched it. Gradually, it faded away.
"Lily. It's a doe." James breathed. Our gaze locked: hazel upon emerald green. I couldn't help it. I just grinned, and couldn't stop. I think the others were cheering, or maybe clapping. I wasn't listening though; and neither was James. "Soul mates," I half-whispered. He nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Suddenly, I was being crushed in a massive hug from everyone. And, in that moment, when I was being kissed on the cheek and congratulated repeatedly, I realised the most important thing in the world: I loved the Marauders, and I wouldn't have them any other way.
