I just, I don't even know.

I've been wanting to write something for Inuyasha for so long, and nothing ever seemed to fit but I think I have it now. I've only one other piece for Inuyasha and that's: s/9962265/1/Volare

I hope you all enjoy this, its been quite the pain to write but I think its better than most stories I've tried to start. So let me know what you think? Please? I know most people complain about first person POV stories, but it was the easiest way to write at the moment, I may edit later to third person but for the moment, we must all suffer.


i have entire galaxies
inside of me
how dare you treat me
like i'm dust

b.c.


I don't care about any of this.

I mean, I do care about some things.

Like how my stomach rumbled because I refused to eat airplane food; like how I hadn't slept in almost seventy three hours because of the news; like how I hadn't even gotten to pack my own things. My sister and I were told we were going to be on the next plane the moment we got home from school, with our bags already packed and in the car; my sister had been sniffling for hours because mom had forgotten her Barney when packing.

Nine months in Japan.

We would be in Japan for nine months, my father being stationed there and us having no choice but to follow along. I didn't want to go, I could have stayed behind, I was seventeen, I could have watched my little sister, I just had to talk to the social worker that came to check up on things; issued by the higher ups above my dad, just to make sure things went smooth at home, it could be a tough life.

But, as I said, things were packed and ready to go the moment my sister and I stepped off the bus, and we were on the plane in the next hour. There was no time to argue, there was nothing I could say, my mother insisted that we go with her. But I hadn't wanted to leave my friends, I had at least wanted to say goodbye to everyone, but apparently that would all be taken care of by some stranger before we even touched wheels in Tokyo.

Total bullshit.


"Okay, we're just staying here for the night, shuttle takes us to the base in the morning."

I don't care, Dad.

I nodded as I set my bags down on the end of my bed. Dad stood in the doorway, hands on his hips, looking just as tired as me; my sister and I got our own room in the hotel, which I saw as a sort of peace offering from my parents, even though my little sister would still be in here with me; I didn't mind her so much, she was a good kid.

One more night of peace, one more night without bumping elbows, one more night. . .one more night. . .

I hadn't talked since we got on the plane, and I could tell my father wanted to talk, say he was sorry as he usually did when we had to move. But I wasn't a little kid anymore, I was almost an adult, and I didn't want to hear his promises of things getting better, or any more of those empty lies he always told when I was little. I do wish I was a kid again so I could actually believe the lies, but I just couldn't anymore.

I couldn't.

I gave up more this time, back then it was sort of okay, scary to be in a new place. Now? Now it was a total inconvenience on my social life, which meant a little bit more to me nowadays. I mean, no, of course I didn't have this totally awesome life but damn, I had friends I cared about now. . .a boyfriend, one that I actually thought could be the one. And I didn't even get to say goodbye, just one final, unfinished kiss between us - in the hallway, he kissed my cheek, I was caught up in the sea of traffic that were calls for final period. . .

"Gal. . ."

I fell back on the bed, stomach rumbling painfully beneath my shirt. "Look, I'm angry, and I am going to stay angry until we go back home," I murmured, digging my phone out of my pocket. "Just please leave me alone, Dad." Sure, I was probably being some pissy teenager, but this was a different country, different time, I didn't want to be here and I was going to make sure that they knew.

I was probably going to have to start school here and everything, good Lord I hope they spoke English. Even crappy, broken English would be good; what if they didn't? Did I have to learn Japanese.

Lord, strike me down now.

My father didn't say anything, just stood there, waiting for me to say something else, anything, that would make him feel any less guilty. But I didn't care right now, I was angry, I was seconds from just losing it but then it would upset mom. It would either start a fight, or it would make her sick and, she hadn't said anything yet, but I believe she -

"Your mother and I are down the hallway if you need anything," he murmured. "I know Cindy will want to find your mother sometime tonight, just help her down the hallway when she wakes up."

I gave him a thumbs up and then continued to type out the longest text of my life. A group message, to explain everything, to complain about the arrangement and then. . .one solo text to the man I loved.


Wait, you're where?!

Japan. Yeah, i know, it wasn't by choice. Mom tossed us into the car as soon as we got home.

No goodbyes? Are you kidding me, what parents do that?

Obviously, you don't know any other family that has to get shipped around like luggage. I'm starving, I'm tired, I'm angry. I don't know why I had to go. I know it's perfectly legal for me to stay by myself around there.

Well, why didn't you try to?

I sighed and pressed the heel of my hand into my forehead, feeling the headache throbbing to life behind my eyes. Why do some people think you have all these choices when it comes to family? Like you can just say ' I don't want to go ' to your parents, and they'll be like totally okay with it? Who has parents like that? It's not so easy to just talk to someone like that, especially with blood between you.

I love Ian, he's the first boy to ever show interest in me in the ' you're really cute ' way instead of the ' wow you have big tits, wanna hang out? ' kind of way. Boys are gross, but Ian was respectful, only looked down when he thought he wouldn't get caught which was kind of funny. And we had the same interests, which was fun because I didn't even have friend-girls that had the same interests as me. Each one of my friends liked so many vastly different things, I don't think any of us had a common interest between each other.

High school.

I looked back at the screen as a question mark appeared, chewing on my lip with how to reply.

It's not that easy, hon.

Received.

But no reply. Just emptiness as I stared at the phone, waiting for a reply that would never come.


"Gal. . .Gal!"

I groaned as a soft little voice hissed in my ear, a small hand on my arm. I blinked painfully awake, looking up at my little sisters innocent little face. It was still dark in the room, lights from the skyscrapers just outside the curtains beaming in and looking like stars against the night sky. Cindy danced beside the bed, looking terrified, and I knew why, so I groaned and sat up, trying to gather all of my strength to stand and help her down the hallway to my parents room.

"Come on, chickadee," I murmured, taking Cindy's hand and leading her to the doorway.

It was so bright in the hallway, but my little sister didn't give me time to adjust as she pulled me down to the end of the hallway and to the door of my parents room. The light was still on beneath the door, which was curious, but I also didn't know what time it was so I could have only been asleep for like ten minutes; who knows? I know softly on the door, hearing my mother hiss something at my father and I arched an eyebrow while the door opened.

Mom smiled and Cindy just ducked into the room, heading straight for the bed. "Everything okay?" I leaned a little, trying to see past her. "Want me to just take Cindy ba -"

"Oh honey, everything is fine," she waved her hand at me before pushing her fingers back through her hair. "Your father and I were just talking, actually getting ready for bed," she paused. "What timing, huh? Neither of us had to wake up and let you in. Maybe I can actually get some sleep."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well I'm gonna go lay back down. She actually woke me up this time."

I waved weakly, ready to walk off, when my mom caught me by the arm. I looked down at her hand, then back to her face, thinking I had done something wrong, or maybe something was happening, but she was just smiling at me apologetically. She let go of my arm, petting it as if to apologize for grabbing me, which was no big deal, but mom was always so sweet when she didn't need to be.

"I just. . ." she sighed. "Honey, I just want you to know we're sorry. The move was so sudden, if there had been more time -"

"It's fine," I didn't want to talk about this, but I didn't want to be mean to her. "Really, it's okay, I should be used to this."

She didn't say anything for a minute, and then sighed again, looking truly worn out. I know my mother has had to deal with this a lot more than I have, alone too, with the moving and the readjusting right before she had to leave, not being able to get close to anyone besides our little family. How was that life for my mother? Was she used to it? Did she ever crave to run away from someone so tied to another life?

I could never ask.

"I just want you to know that things will get better, okay sweetheart? I know it was a lot to move this time, but we will adjust, and we will be back home before you know it. . .and go easy on your father. Forgive him for it."

I sighed. I know he can't control it, didn't make me any less pissed. "Alright mom, alright."

She smiled big this time. "Things are gonna change, I can feel it. For the better."


Eh? Eh? I don't know, just let me know what you guys think so far. And yeah, this may not turn into full-blown romance, because its just so much to keep up with and there are so many Sesshomaru romances out there. I don't know why he can't sort of develop just a tolerance relationship like he has with Rin or Jaken? Where he cares for them but for the love of God it would be better if they could just handle some shit on their own, ya know?

I dunno, maybe that's just me.