A/N: So after promising this for five years, it's finally happened. I've edited The Tigress's Song.
I wrote this story back in '03 as my first foray into fan fiction. I didn't mean for it to spawn a sequel or become a fan favorite on this website. It was short, riddled with plot holes and grammatical errors, and just felt awkward to read.
I hope I've cleared up some of those issues with this rewrite. I tried not to go overboard and completely revamp the story. I also tried to preserve some of the innocence of the story and my writing style at the time. My goal was to explain some more things that popped up in the sequel, clean up some of the blaring errors and make this story more readable. Let me know if I succeeded.
To the fans of my story before, welcome back! To the new readers, enjoy the journey!
It is in times of chaos that heroes rise up. Some of them wish to unite the people under one cause. Others want to restore order and balance to their country. Still more fight only to protect those they care for in order to keep the chaos at bay. Mei Li remembered hearing stories about such people as a child. Her mother would weave tales of men who braved the odds and saved their people. They were frightening, shocking and jovial all at once. The memory often made her smile.
Never, in any of her mother's stories, did men fight simply to create turmoil.
It hadn't taken Li long to learn, after her mother's death, that real life wasn't anything like those tales. Heroes didn't rise up to save their country; they rose up to destroy it. Stability and peace were nothing more than fairy tales. She had seen it herself, being forced from one household to the next as warlords killed each other for the sake of bloodshed.
Yet she still held on to those stories from her childhood. They brought her comfort in times of heartache. It was something she desperately needed now as she sat huddled in the corner of her room. Outside of her window, she could hear the shouts and screams of her fellow villagers. Shu soldiers had marched into the village not one hour ago to demand the surrender of their leader, Zhang Yui. The bandit leader had fled while his men stood their ground and insisted that he was not there. Those words had shattered the peace in an instant. Now they were slaughtering everyone who stood in their way.
As a prisoner of Zhang Yui, an old supporter of the Yellow Turban Rebellion, Mei Li held only resentment for her master. She cared little about his well-being. He had kidnapped her and several other women from her former lord a few years ago, keeping them around only for his amusement. Still, her treatment under him hadn't been that different from her other masters. She had been cursed with remarkable beauty and a voice like clear water. Those had kept her from becoming a servant. The constant passing from lord to lord kept her from becoming a lady. Li had been stuck in limbo as little more than a concubine since she was thirteen.
Reliving her past made her feel ill. A part of her almost wished that a Shu soldier would burst through the door and run her through. Death would be a welcome reprieve. She would be able to see her mother again, the only person who had ever cared for her during her nineteen years of life.
The other part of her wanted to live long enough to see the Yellow Turbans bleed. She knew that her life would forfeit to some pompous Shu nobleman after this, that the cycle would repeat itself again. But after the appalling treatment she'd suffered here, those bastards deserved everything they got.
Li's thoughts were interrupted by the door of her room collapsing. Five brutes entered. She stood up from the corner but kept her face down. One of the men crossed the room in three strides and grabbed her neck, forcing her face into the air. "I'll give you five seconds to tell me where your leader is before I snap your neck." The others laughed, somehow finding her plight amusing. Perhaps they were used to having people beg for mercy. They didn't know that Mei Li had given up on begging a long time ago.
"First of all," Mei said hoarsely, "I could care less if you snapped my neck." The man's grip slackened. She had their attention. Five pairs of eyes stared at her, suddenly not sure of what to make of her. "Second of all, Zhang Yui isn't here. He fled south towards the river when your troops came. If you hurry, you can catch him. He ran on foot. Only a few of his men were with him."
The soldier paused before loosening his grip on her neck further. "And how do we know you aren't lying?"
Mei Li could smell blood on his breath. It was nauseating. "Kill me if you don't believe me. I wasn't attached to the man. I have no reason to lie to you." A pregnant pause followed. Finally the soldier let go of her neck completely and motioned to one of his friends. "Take her to the tent along with the other prisoners. I like this one. She can amuse us after we find and behead this coward of a leader."
The men grinned as they hauled Li out of the room. She could feel the heat of the fires on her face and could taste the fear of the villagers being slaughtered around her. It took all of her strength to keep her eyes forward as she was dragged towards the enemy's main camp. She didn't want to see their suffering. Still, she envied them. Their pain would diminish quickly. Hers was destined to last much longer.
As she predicted, this would be no different than last time.
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Zhao Yun watched the chaos below from the top of the hill. He tried to keep his face cleared of emotion, but he couldn't help but feel sad as he heard the screams of innocent people in the village. They had been right to keep Lord Liu Bei away from this skirmish. His compassion for the people would have overtaken his senses. They would never have been able to flush the Yellow Turbans out. The Little Dragon despised using such tactics against harmless villagers as much as his lord did. But he could not ignore duty or responsibility. He would do what he needed to in order to protect the land and his lord's dream.
It would not protect his dreams from the screaming, however. Tonight would be filled with the curses of the dead.
Behind him came the sound of horses. He turned to see his old friend, Pang Tong, riding up beside him. The sight of him never failed to make Zhao Yun smile. In the blistering heat from the fires and the humidity in the air, Pang Tong still wore his heavy clothes and wide brimmed hat. On nights like tonight, he looked mighty uncomfortable. "My lord," Yun said with a bow. Pang Tong chuckled.
"Can't help but watch the show, eh?" he asked.
Zhao Yun sighed. "Loathe it is more like it. I can't stand all of this fighting. It would be easier if groups like the Yellow Turbans did not insist on putting their people at risk. We could end this war right now. Yet others continue to perpetuate the chaos."
Pang Tong shrugged. "War is war, and there's no way around it with these guys." He sighed and turned to Zhao Yun. "I think you need something else to keep you occupied."
Zhao Yun faltered. "Excuse me?"
Pang Tong grinned from under his coverings. "As much as you hate war, it has become you. I know how hard it is for you to fulfill duties like this. I've heard enough shouting in your tent from the nightmares."
"To keep our lord and the people safe, I will do whatever is necessary."
"Yes, I know. And you've made quite a name for yourself doing it. People talk of your feats and bravery in battle, yet they know nothing about you as a person. You need a distraction. Maybe some kind of hobby. Or a woman. Then you could focus on something besides fighting. It'd keep the dreams away, plus people would see you differently."
Zhao Yun continued to watch the battle below. "It sounds nice when you put it that way. But our lord depends on me. I don't think I would have the time for leisurely activities. Besides, my experiences with women have been less than positive." He thought back to the last time someone had brought the topic up. He'd almost been forced into a marriage that, ultimately, would have disgraced Liu Bei's name. The memory made him cringe. "It is difficult when one is so widely known for bloodshed."
Pang Tong chuckled. "You'll find one someday. If everyone else in the kingdom can, then I'm sure you have a chance." He glanced to his right. "Looks like some of the boys are returning. Guess I have to go and get a report. Are you coming?"
"I'll follow you shortly."
"Suit yourself." Yun watched the strategist ease his pony back down the hill towards their camp. As much as the famed Shu soldier hated fighting, he hated talking about courtship even more. The other officers constantly teased him about it. He didn't see the big deal in focusing his energy on matters of war. Right now, he needed to be Liu Bei's right hand. Domestic affairs could wait until later.
Zhao Yun pushed his thoughts aside and returned to the matter at hand. It wasn't long before more troops began pulling out of the charred village. Within minutes, the final company had escaped and raised a flag in his direction - a sign that the mission was over. He raised his hand in salute and turned back down the hill. The other officers would need his help in gathering information and tracking down any remaining Yellow Turbans. He would also need to see how many survivors were in the village and what could be done about the damage.
He was thankful that his mind would be too full to think about Pang Tong's comments.
After gathering the reports from his officers and checking their casualties, Zhao Yun decided to head to his tent for a moment. As he made his way through the main area of the camp, he noticed a large group of men gathered in a circle. They were laughing, joking, and gesturing towards whatever was in the center. Curious, he walked over to the group and watched from the outside. A young woman was standing in the center, her hands bound in front of her and her eyes blindfolded. Her dress had been reduced to rags, and her long black hair was tangled and dirty. One of the village girls, from the looks of her.
A few of the soldiers were pushing her back and forth. Some of them were spitting on her or touching her inappropriately when she was shoved towards them. The woman made no motion to try and defend herself. She just stood there, patiently waiting for it to be over.
Zhao Yun was disgusted. It was one thing to take a woman prisoner. It was another thing to abuse her in such a violent and public manner. This had to be stopped. As he pushed his way towards the center, the laughter died down. One of them accidentally pushed the girl into his arms, then backed off when he saw who it was. Zhao Yun gently pulled the blindfold off of the girl's eyes. He had expected to see tears or a pleading look. Instead he saw emptiness. Her eyes were blank and emotionless.
He untied her hands and turned to the soldiers. "May I ask why you feel the need to torture someone like this? Unless she made an attempt on your life, you have no excuse for this kind of behavior."
One of the men crossed his arms and took a step forward. "She's just some concubine we found. The girl's probably used to this. Besides, we were just having a bit of fun."
Zhao Yun glared at him. "And what about her? Did you ask her what she thought about this?"
The man shrugged. "She's just a woman."
"I doubt you would make the same comment about your mother, soldier," Zhao Yun said. "May I remind you that your behavior reflects not only on me, but on our lord. We are better than this. We treat everyone, man or woman, with respect, especially those that cannot help themselves. Am I clear?"
The men grumbled but bowed and backed away. Yun turned around to see Jiang Wei and a few of his officers jogging towards them. He was suddenly grateful that there were still trustworthy men besides him in camp. "Are you all right?" Wei asked. "What happened?"
"Do me a favor and take this woman to the doctor's tent. I want someone to look her over and then I want to talk to her. And make sure none of these soldiers come near the tent." Jiang Wei nodded and took the woman's arm, leading out of the circle. Her face remained stoic. Distressed by the situation, Yun took one last look at the soldiers before leaving for his own tent. He needed to collect his thoughts before he finished his work for the night.
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Mei Li looked around the sparse tent. A cot had been pushed to the side and a couple of bags were scattered on the floor, but the rest of it was empty. She wondered who or what had been in here before her. Outside, she could hear the man who had brought her were whispering instructions. She didn't bother to pay attention to details. It wasn't like she would be here long anyway.
An older man lifted the tent flap and bowed to her. He held another bag in his hands. "Forgive my intrusion, my lady, but I have been instructed to treat your wounds. Please have a seat on the cot."
She obeyed, folding her hands in her lap. Across from her, the man lit a few candles and pulled some herbs and jars out of his sack. He knelt in front of her but hesitated when he caught her eye. "My lady, what's wrong?"
"Please don't call me what," she said. "I'm nothing but a lowborn whore."
He chuckled and gently tilted her head to the side. "Nonsense. Your status does not determine whether or not I dress your wounds. Nor does it change the fact that you are, indeed, a lady. Unless you are hiding something from me, of course."
She blushed and looked at the ground. "N-No. I just, um-"
"Relax, child. You are in good hands here, and I do not refer to the ones that brought you into camp."
His voice soothed her, and she began to relax a little as he checked her over for injuries. The bruises on her neck concerned him. She winced as he rubbed some kind of salve into them. The rest of her seemed fine. He set to work preparing an herbal mixture for tea when another man entered the tent. The doctor asked for a couple of his serving women to be sent in. The soldier disappeared without giving her a glance. She felt oddly grateful. Perhaps she wouldn't be a side attraction in this camp after all.
A couple of older women soon came in with some fresh clothes and a tub of water. The doctor left them instructions on brewing her a restorative tea, gave her one last smile, and disappeared back into camp.
"Well, I wasn't expecting this," one of the women said as she looked Li over. "You don't look like a concubine."
"What?" Li glared at the woman. "Who said that?"
The woman gave a hearty laugh. "Word travels fast when the camp is this small. I heard the men saying you were Zhang Yui's whore. Even someone my age can see that's not true."
Li gaped at her. "How-"
"Women's intuition. Now come on. You need to get out of those rags, and you really could use a wash. Our lord's orders." She pulled Li to her feet and marched her over to the tub. One of the other women went to stand watch at the tent flap while the rest stripped her down and helped her into the basin. She gasped as the cold water washed over her. "Yep, I've seen whores who were treated better than you," the first woman said. "You've got bruises everywhere. What did that man put you through?"
"Nothing I didn't deserve."
The woman grunted and started working on Li's hair. "No one deserves to be used as a training dummy, dear. Not even you."
Li fell silent as the women cleaned her up and dressed her in a simple robe. They busied themselves with the cleanup, chatting and laughing while she sat on the bed with her tea. They seemed so happy in this camp of killers. Maybe, if she were lucky, she would get to be like them after this. Becoming a servant seemed like a good alternative to what she'd had so far. Then again, anything would be better than the life she'd had before.
Her mind wandered back to that man, the first face she had seen after entering the camp. Her captors had blindfolded her as soon as they left the village. She had expected to see one of their jeering faces after her bindings were removed. She hadn't expected a new face, especially one filled with concern over her welfare. His brown eyes had searched her face for something. It had startled her enough that she'd been unable to say anything. Not even a thank-you. She wondered where he was now.
The serving women began to clear out. The one who had spoken to her stopped at the tent flap and bowed to her. "I wish you a speedy recovery, my lady. Our lord will be with you in a moment. Don't worry, he's a softie." She laughed at her own joke and left the young woman alone.
Mei Li looked down at her tea. She had yet to meet this lord, the one who had ordered the destruction of her village and the death of her master. She hoped he was as kind as the man who had saved her, or even the man who had brought her here. They both seemed respectable. It was a shame that they were both murderers.
She didn't have to wait long before the lord appeared. She watched him as he entered the tent and closed the flap behind him. It was the same man who had pulled her away from those soldiers and sent her here. He had taken off his armor, revealing a man who could have easily passed for an ordinary countryman. He walked towards her and set a large tray of food on the bed next to her. "Eat," he said, taking a seat on the floor nearby.
She stared at him for a moment. All traces of his earlier anger were gone. In its place was something between contentment and relief. It was comforting. She was hard-pressed to remind herself that he had slaughtered her village.
"What is your name?" he asked. Mei Li continued to stare. He sighed. "All right, I'll go first. My name is Zhao Yun."
She blinked. His name was familiar. She recalled the stories that her first master had told her. As an officer of Wei, he would often return home angry from a loss to Shu and would take it out on her by beating her. "Your name was known in my first house. I have heard that you do not know the meaning of fear, that you have charged blindly into enemy lines and come out unscathed."
He winced. "I have. Unfortunately, it seems that's all I'm known for." He paused and looked towards the opening of the tent, where the soldiers could be heard laughing again. He turned back to her. "I wanted to thank you for the information you gave my soldiers. Because of you, we have captured Zhang Yui." Mei just nodded. He leaned in closer. "Does this information not please you?"
"Zhang Yui was a poor excuse for a man on all fronts. I care not whether he lives or dies." She froze, remembering that this was a lord of Shu and she was just a common slut. "Forgive me, my lord. I did not mean to sound so crude."
"Your situation is understandable, my lady. But I can tell that something else is wrong. I would like to help you if I can."
"But…why?" She forced herself to look up at him. His face was composed.
"I would like to return the favor. Without your help, we would not have been successful in this mission. Zhang Yui is a dangerous man who impedes on my lord's goals. I was afraid that we would return home unsuccessful yet again."
"That doesn't require you to destroy an innocent village," she whispered.
He let out a long sigh. "Is this what ails your mind?" She chewed on her lower lip and nodded. Her strength was waning. She didn't want to cry, not when she had been so strong. "My men tell me that they found you hidden in a room of Zhang Yui's house."
"Yes."
"Then you would not have seen that his soldiers were surrounding the village. We were forced to break through their lines and flush out any remaining Yellow Turban supporters. The fires destroyed your homes, yes. I feel terrible that such a tactic was necessary. But my men were ordered to save as many villagers as possible. We were lucky that your master's loyal followers still distinguished themselves with scarves."
Mei Li felt her hands shaking. Was this true? "Then the people-"
"I believe most of them were saved. They are currently camped just outside of the village. Some of my men are tending to their needs. They have already sworn loyalty to Shu and have agreed to follow us back to Cheng Du." He smiled warmly at her. "I promise you that I did not force this choice upon them. When we explained our actions, they welcomed our aid."
"I…" Li set her cup on the ground, afraid that she would spill its contents or break the dish. "Thank you, Lord Zhao Yun. This news is wondrous. It is more than I deserve to hear."
He moved to his knees and settled himself closer to her. She hadn't noticed before how gentle, and yet penetrating, his eyes were up close. They were soothing, but there was still mystery in them. "My lady," he said, "you deserve far more than this. I have heard from the women that you believe yourself a whore. We of Shu do not treat our women this way. You were a hero today. I cannot properly reward you for it here, especially after the abuse you suffered from my men. Rest assured that they will be dealt with."
She shook her head. "No, my lord. I don't need anything. Really. Knowing that innocent people were spared and that Zhang Yui will no longer terrorize them is all the thanks I need."
"So you will not be joining them?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"As I said before, the survivors wish to travel with the army back to Cheng Du. I am hoping that you will be joining us. Our Lord Liu Bei will surely want to honor you and reward the aid you have given to Shu." He stood and bowed to her. "If not, then you are free to go. You are not a prisoner here by any means. Then men are under orders not to stop you if you wish to leave."
He turned to go. She tried to make herself say something, anything that would keep him there for just a second longer. This had to be a dream. No one had a reason to show her this much kindness. She didn't want it to end yet.
He stopped at the entrance and looked back. "You may rest here tonight. No one else is allowed in here except for you and the doctor, and he has willingly offered the cot to you. I will be back in the morning to check on you. After you have rested, you may tell me what you wish to do."
"Mei Li," she finally whispered before he left the tent completely.
He turned around. "What?" he asked.
She cleared her throat. "My name is Mei Li," she said again. Zhao Yun smiled and gave her a nod before closing the flap behind him.
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Jiang Wei was still standing at the entrance when Zhao Yun came out of her tent. He knew there was no need to keep watch anymore. The soldiers had been disciplined, the girl had been taken care of and their mission had been completed. It hadn't stopped him from continuing to worry. It took a lot to anger the Little Dragon. The fact that Yun had been irritable since that incident had put the whole camp on edge. It made Wei feel better to keep an eye on him.
He breathed a sigh of relief to see Yun's face back to its normal expression. "Zhang Yui's ready to be questioned," he told his friend. "I assume you would like to get that business out of the way."
"You read me well, Wei."
"So what did your lady friend have to say?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood a little more.
Zhao Yun nodded to a few passing soldiers. "Not much. She didn't seem to care about Yui's current state. In fact, she was more concerned about the well-being of the villagers. She was pleased to hear that they had been saved."
Jiang Wei chuckled. "She sounds like our lord, always worried about the people but never about themselves. Did she give you her name?"
"Mei Li."
"A commoner's name. The doctor's female assistants told me that she had been abused most foully. I suspect she's been passed around for most of her life. A pity for one as beautiful as her."
"She's still fearful," Yun said. "It's obvious that she suffered some kind of trauma in her past."
Wei nodded. "Still, she opened up enough to express concern for her fellow peasants. It speaks well of her strength. The men did say that when they found her, she didn't try to escape or take her life. She stood, gave them the required information, and went with them back to the camp without a fight. Impressive, considering her circumstances."
"She had to have known what they were planning for her."
"Maybe not. The sergeant told me that he planned on keeping her as a servant and then offering her to Lord Liu Bei. Who knows what he may have told Lady Mei."
Zhao Yun scoffed. "Keep her as a servant my foot. It was obvious what he wanted to keep her for." They reached the tent and stopped just outside of it. "Listen, I offered her the choice of returning to Cheng Du with us or leaving on her own. If anyone sees her trying to leave the camp, I don't want anyone to stop her. She is free to do what she wishes."
Jiang Wei nodded. "I shall inform the lookouts immediately." Zhao Yun watched him go before entering the tent to confront Zhang Yui.
