Whoever said love was a two way street lied. Love is not a two way street. Hell love is not even a one way in the wrong neck of the woods. Love comes out of nowhere and leaves you breathless, exposed and naked.
Love slams you against the door and beats you senseless until you have no other way of understanding but its way. Love is bilingual even if you speak the same language as the other person you can't understand the words that are coming out of their mouth.
Love is, however, blind…it does not discriminate (which gets most people in trouble). Hell it got me in the worst kind of trouble I could ask for. What do you do when you have fallen in love with wife of the man you work for? How are you even supposed to concentrate on insignificant things like how to breathe when she's taken all of your air?
How do you focus on how to walk when she has the absolute power to render you motionless? I used to think I was the master of my universe. What total and absolute bullshit do I see that as now? I can't tell what's up or down until she points out the right direction. I can't even tell what's right and what's wrong until she guides. She is the light, the rain, the sunshine, the rainbow, the birds, the trees and the air that I breathe. At last though none of that matters because she is not mine.
I wonder does he even deserve her….Hell I know for a fact I don't. That does not stop me from lusting after her. From, dare I say it loving her from a far? I truly have no idea what I'm going to do. If this is how fate has decided to punish me for my past transgressions then so be it. I would rather the pimp stuff out enough cigarette on my chest than to live without her.
Her name is Anastasia Steele…..and I love her. Her name is Ana and I crave her. Her name is baby and I truly don't know how I lived without her. Her name….will be Grey if I have anything else to say about it. She is absolutely exquisite and everything I have been searching for. Sugar and spice and everything nice. I should feel ashamed about the ways I have been plotting to find alone time with her.
I should feel bad that she cries to me about her husband not spending enough time with her, seeing as how that's my fault. I make sure I keep that fucker as busy as possible. I make sure that at 10:00pm he's still at his office trying to make our plans fall through while I'm out wining and dining his wife. I don't feel bad though. One because I can't help my obsession with her. It's like it's above and beyond me. Two because even though I mean all kinds of harm with the time that we are spending together she thinks these interactions are as innocent as possible.
I wonder does she feel the pull that surrounds us. Does she feel that electricity that seems to drive me freaking crazy? If she does she doesn't let on that she does. She's the ultimate good girl. She's not dying for my attention, I'm dying for hers! Sooner or later something is going to have to give because one way or another she will be mine.
