Maggie's P.O.V.
These are the moments I live for now. Waking in the morning be before my beautiful wife does, watching as the sun bathes her naked body in the early morning glow; highlighting her heavily swollen belly where our child is growing and currently seems to be doing cartwheels. It still astounds me that we are going to be mothers very soon with only being nine days away from Alex's due date. We have no idea what we are having, but I'm pretty sure Kara cheated and used her x-ray vision to look.
Even after five years of marriage to Alex, saying that I have a wife still astounds me. It's not that I never thought about getting married; it's just growing up in Blue Springs, Nebraska didn't exactly give me hope that I would ever find someone who I would love, let alone her loving me and agreeing to marry me.
The moment that I met Alex a little over six and half years ago, she was force to be reckoned with (a pain in my ass too) that day, but now I can't imagine meeting her any other way. The next few weeks after our first meeting it was like the universe was pulling us together. We constantly seemed to be at the same crime scenes, working on cases together and then when I was kidnapped by Scorch and rescued by my own personal superhero. The more time I spent with Alex, the more I couldn't get her out of my head; I couldn't explain the weird pull and connection I felt with Alex, I had never had that before. When she had suggested that we hang out and have drinks together, I was thrilled. Maybe, just maybe there was a chance for us. I played off my nervousness by telling her that I had read her wrong and didn't know she was into girls. When the words "I'm not" left her mouth, my world shattered. I decided that even if there was no chance of us dating, I would concede to being her friend, there was no way I wasn't going to have her in my life in some way.
When she finally realized that, she was in fact into women, I was ecstatic. I was happy that maybe at some point in the future we could be more than friends, but for now I was guarded of my heart. While I had been out of the closet for years and for her just now discovering this life changing revelation was a tricky thing, because I knew for her everything was going to be shiny and new.
The night at the bar when she kissed me was definitely unexpected, but not unwelcome. Me being the ever cautious person I am, I made the stupidest mistake of my life in that moment by tell her I was there for her but just as a "friend". Seriously, how insanely stupid could I be? After that Alex started pulling away from me, not answering my calls or text, avoiding the bar and sending someone else to alien crime scenes. I was afraid that I had completely ruined any chance of having her in my life ever again.
After a particularly bad day work, I really need a drink and decided to go to the bar. Luck was on my side that night as soon as I walked in I heard her laugh, my heart suddenly started pounding wildly. To say our talk that night was a little awkward would be an understatement, but she had agreed that we could be friends. Not exactly what I had wanted but it would have to work. In less than 24 hours our re-established friendship would blow up, when Alex showed up and told me to lay of the Guardian and that we were in fact not friends. That was the second time I had seen heartbreak in her beautiful soulful brown eyes and for the second time, it was because of me. When she walked away, I felt as if my whole entire world was walking away too. I couldn't let her just up and walk out of my life again because I was being an idiot. So I did the only thing I could, I told her that I couldn't imagine my life without her in it and she had let me back in her life. Even though it was just a little bit, I was happy that she let me in at all.
They say that when you are dying that your life flashes before your eyes, that's not what I saw when Cyborg Superman had shot me in the should with his heat vision. Before passing out, I saw flashes of what I hoped would be my future with Alex. When my eyes finally fluttered open, I saw a vision of a goddess above me. Alex was careful as she stitched my wound up and proceeded to thank me for helping her "finally get me". I wanted to respond with thank you for existing, because there is nothing in this world more perfect than you. After leaving the DEO, I knew I had to stop being so guarded of my heart, just because I had my heart broken before doesn't mean it will happen again. So I made up my mind that I wanted Alex.
I decided to not tell her I was coming to see her, she can't say no to letting me in if I just show up right? I had never been so nervous in my life than when I knocked on her door, being shot at on a routinely basis wasn't as scary as what I was doing. When she answered the door in her pajamas, I had never seen her look more beautiful and so at ease. When I started telling her about how I thought I was dying earlier, to which she very adamantly stated she would never let that happen, I couldn't seem to find the words I was looking for. When my mouth finally caught up with my brain, I had spilled my guts about really "just want to kiss you" and took a chance. That kiss was unlike any other I've ever had before, it was everything a kiss should be, love and passion.
After that night in her apartment, things for us were great as we were officially dating. When Kara had found out, she had pulled me aside one night at the bar and told me if I broke her sister's heart again I would be sorry. Little did I know that a few weeks later, it would be Alex who broke my heart. The day my world crashed around me had started out amazing; it was our first official sleep over. Waking up to Alex was the absolute best way to start the day and wearing her t-shirt made it even better. That entire day I had tried and failed at getting in touch with Alex, as a last resort I went to the DEO after work. I saw her the same time she saw me, she said that it was a bad time that Supergirl was missing and Alex seemed to believe that her being "happy for five minutes" was the cause.
When Alex had said that "this was a mistake" my heart and world seemed to stop, I should have known better. That was the one thing I was afraid of the most when I opened my heart back up to her, having it loved for a while only for it to be shattered and handed back to me in pieces.
The text from her later that night begging for me to come over almost went unanswered. When I arrived at her door I almost considered leaving, but chose to hear her out. She explained that she just went a little crazy and that the universe was magically smacking her down from being happy. Really? Was that the best answer she was going to give me? Nope, she was going to have to do better than that. She said she had always felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, that her parents had expected her to watch over Kara and the few times she had been happy had ended badly and that when Supergirl went missing she "just blew a gasket". There it was, the only confirmation that I needed to confirm Supergirl was in fact Kara. Alex's eyes were the size of saucers when I stated "because Supergirl is your sister", she seemed relieved that I knew because she didn't want there to be any secrets.
If I was going to let her back in my heart, I needed the promise of her not running away again when something bad happens. She assured me that she wouldn't, because she wanted to be happy with me. I decided that it was worth the risk and told her that she only got one chance, but the truth was I would give her as many chances as I had to.
Seven months later, we were going stronger than ever and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Alex; I wanted to call her my wife. To say I was terrified when I asked Kara and Eliza for their permission to ask Alex to marry me, would be an understatement. They were of course okay with it, now all I had to do was ask. I planned a weekend getaway for us to the beach, under the guise that we needed some alone time since work had been keeping us from it.
On our last night, I suggested we go on a midnight walk along the beach, seeing that it was a crescent moon and you could see so many stars. I had managed to slip the ring box in my pocket earlier that night and it felt like it weighed a ton. Walking hand in hand along the shore, I was astounded by Alex's beauty in what little moonlight there was as she looked up at the stars. I suddenly stopped walking, dragging Alex back towards me by her hand. Her face betrayed her emotions; she went from confused to worried. I knew that this was the moment that would either make me the happiest or the most broken hearted woman in the world. I got down on one knee while still holding her left hand with my right and clumsily trying to get the ring box out of my pocket with my left. I felt like I was going to vomit, pass out or possibly both.
Alex looked like a deer in head light when her brain seemed to finally process what was happening. I had this whole speech planed with all the things I wanted to say, but for some reason my mouth couldn't seem to form any words. When I finally could form words all I said was "I love you Alex Danvers. I want to spend the rest of my days waking up to you, spending our all of the tomorrows I have with you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Will you make me the happiest woman in the world and marry me?" She stood there with her mouth open for way to long and I started to panic. I had a million different thoughts running thought my head and that maybe asking her to marry me this soon was mistake. Thankfully, I was wrong. She shook me out of my thoughts by kissing me with passion and saying "yes" over and over between kisses.
The months following our engagement were ones of absolute insanity. Alex, Kara and Eliza went full blown with wedding preparations. I was more than happy to let them take charge of the planning, only chiming in when I was asked a question about what I thought. It only seemed fitting to get married on the beach we got engaged on. We decided to get married the following summer in June. As October rolled into November and November into December, Alex seemed to become increasingly stressed about making wedding plans and making everything perfect. After months of Alex acting like a mad woman, I had finally had enough.
It was New Year's Eve and I had everything planned. I had asked J'onn to keep Alex busy for as long as possible at the DEO, while I transformed our apartment the best I could into a wedding venue. I had originally thought about having our family and friends there, but decided that it wasn't about them. It was about Alex and I; and the love we had for each other. One perk of being a city cop, was that I had access to a lot of people. I asked a close coworker, who was an ordained minister, if she would marry us.
Alex had called to say she was on her way home and that J'onn had ruined our evening, I told that he hadn't ruined just that our plans had been shifted a little. I asked her to change into the dress she had taken, just in case she wouldn't make home in time to get ready to out to celebrate the New Year.
I still remember the absolute vision she was walking through the door in that dress. She was wearing the first dress I ever saw her in, the one she wore to the underground alien fight club. When she finally looked up, she looked at me bewildered and asked what was going on. I took her hands and walked her to the middle of the room to stand under the arbor I put up. She asked what was going on and I told her that planning our wedding shouldn't be stressful but all that she seemed to be doing was stressing way too much and I didn't want that. I looked at her with all of my love for her and said "I want to start the New Year with you as my wife. What do you say Danvers, wanna get married?" So there in the middle of our apartment, we became wife and wife.
The days leading up to our second wedding anniversary, I noticed that Alex became increasingly quiet and withdrawn. I was starting to get worried. Did I do or forget something to make her upset? Had she fallen out of love with? I couldn't figure out what was wrong. The night of our anniversary, I came home to my wife standing just inside the door in the dress she wore when we got married. I was really confused, was she planning on us renewing our vows? Throughout dinner, she acted nervous and fidgety. I asked her what was going on and before she could even really process her answer, she blurted out that she wanted to have a baby. I couldn't get out my seat fast enough to wrap her in my arms and say "yes" repeatedly while kissing her. We began the process of starting our family over the next few months.
We knew that the journey to get pregnant wouldn't be easy, but we had been through and survived worse. Our goal was that, hopefully we would be adding a new member to our family around the same time as our third wedding anniversary. We decided that Alex would be the one to carry our baby, she could work in the lab (so long as it wasn't dangerous for her or the baby) while pregnant, we used my egg and a sperm donor. Our first and second rounds of IVF didn't take, but we weren't discouraged. We wanted a family and we would try out hardest to create it.
When we did our third IVF round, we were positive it had taken and we were right. Four weeks after the embryo implant, Alex and I sat huddled on the side of our bathtub for the longest two minutes of our lives holding each other's hands for dear life. The suffocating silence was shattered by the timer going off. With promises that everything would be okay and still holding hands, we turned the pregnancy test over to see a pink plus sign. I'm not sure how long we spent hugging, kissing, crying and saying "I love you" over and over. We decided to wait to tell our family and friends until after we had our first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy.
Labor Day weekend was fast approaching and we had agreed to rent the house we stayed in when we got engaged to have one last summer hurrah and by inviting our family to tag along. Alex was now seven weeks pregnant and we couldn't wait to share our happiness. As we set down for dinner on our first night, armed with the ultrasound in hand, we told our family we were pregnant. Eliza and Kara were ecstatic. Eliza couldn't get anything out other than "my baby is having a baby" along with crying and hugging Alex and I to death. Kara was babbling about how excited she was to finally become an aunt as she carefully hugged her sister. When she hugged me, I literally thought she was going to break me in two; I had to wheeze out a plea for her to lighten up.
Alex's pregnancy was going great, she had just passed her nineteen week mark and we were scheduled to find out the gender in two weeks, then I got a call I wish I never had gotten. I was working on a crime scene just outside National City when my phone buzzed and lit up with Alex's picture, I figured she was calling to ask if I'd bring the new craving of the week, how I wish I had been right. Instead she stated that I needed to get to the DEO now that she was having severe cramps and was bleeding, my breathing stopped along with my heart when she said those words. Before I could ask any questions, Kara landed next to me and stated she was flying me back to the DEO to be with Alex, with the phone still pressed to my ear I promised Alex to be by her side in a couple minutes.
Kara flew so fast that she literally had to hold the back of my neck to keep it from snapping. As soon as our feet touched the balcony, I took off running to the med bay, when I arrived and saw Alex lying with her back turned away from me in the hospital bed. I took a deep breath to try to calm my racing heart and pushed the door open, I finally reached her bed and put my hand on her shoulder and whispered "babe, what's going on? Are you and the baby okay?"
I felt her shoulder start to shake under my hand and when she rolled over to look at me she simply shook her head no. She met my eyes and I had never seen so many emotions play across her face. I cupped her cheek as her tears began to flow freely, with hiccupping breaths she quietly said "I lost the baby". With those four words, both my heart and world shattered into a million pieces. In the next moment I was crawling into the bed with to wrap my arms around her shuddering body, placing kisses on any part of her I could while reassuring her that it would be okay, that we would be okay.
The days and weeks following the miscarriage where some of the most challenging of my life. Alex spent almost every moment of every day in bed sleeping or just staring at the framed ultrasound picture siting in her nightstand. I had tried over and over to get her to talk to me, I knew she was grieving but so was I and I needed my wife too. Over the course of the next five months she had all but shut me and our entire family out. I had reached my breaking point after a particularly bad day at work nearly a week later. When I got home and saw her for once sitting on the couch, I just looked at her and asked "do you still want to be married to me?" She looked slightly caught off guard by the question and said "of course, but how can you still love me and want to be married to me after I failed you". That was all it took for me to sink onto the couch wrapping her in my arms and reassuring her that, she could never fail me and I would always love her. We didn't discuss trying again for nearly a year.
One day as we were walking hand in hand through the park, with the sound of dogs barking and children laughing, she looked at me and said "I'm ready to try again", that was the moment my heart started to truly be happy again. We began the IVF process almost immediately and luck was on our side, we were pregnant on the first try. We were thrilled to be pregnant, but we were also cautious given our last experience. As week turned into months, we began preparing the nursery; we choose to not find out the gender and settled on painting the baby's room a soft pale green while choosing an animal theme. I am pulled out of my memories by Alex starting to wake up.
Every time I look at her I lose my breath, but to see her so heavily pregnant with our child is the most breathtaking thing I have ever witnessed. She slowly blinks up at me and smiles.
"You were watching me sleep again weren't you?" she asks while rubbing her eyes.
"How could I not?" I reply, "You are a breathtaking vision."
She laughs and snorts. "No, I'm not. I look like a whale."
I shake my head as I lean in to kiss her lips.
"Well then my love, you are the most beautiful whale I've ever seen."
She rolls onto her back and stretches as I rest my hand on her stomach feeling our child kicking.
"I am so over being pregnant and fat, I just want to hold our baby." Alex said as she looks at me.
"I know you are." I replied. "But it won't be for much longer."
She closes her eyes while taking a deep breath and relaxing.
I had decided that I would run her a warm bath this morning so she could soak her weary body while I made breakfast. After getting everything ready, I help her out of bed and into the tub, which she sank into with a contented sigh leaving her lips.
"Thank you babe." she mutters.
I give a small smile and kiss her lips. "Your most welcome my love. I'm going to go fix breakfast, yell at me when you're ready to get out and I'll come help you." I state. The only response I receive is a okay sign. It's been nearly twenty minutes and I'm getting close to having breakfast ready.
"MAGGIE!" Alex yells sounding panicked.
Fearing that she had tried to get out on her own and somehow got hurt, I run as fast as I can to the bathroom. As I open the door the sight that greets me, makes my heart stop. Alex is leaning back against the tub; hair wet and stuck to her forehead with her eyes squeezed shut, hands rubbing across her belly and taking slow deep breaths and releasing them.
"What? What's wrong?" I asked panicked.
She finally opens her eyes and looks at me with a smile on her face, as she reaches her left hand out toward me; the light overhead bouncing off her wedding ring as I take her and in mine and bring it to my lips leaving a kiss on her knuckles.
"We're going to become mothers today."
For some reason my brain can't process what she has just said.
"No we're not. We still have nine days left." I stupidly say.
She looks at me with the utmost love and smiles, while disentangling our hands so she can touch my cheek.
"Yes we are. My water broke and I just had my first contraction. Our baby is coming today."
This is it. This is the day our lives change forever and I couldn't be more excited. I smile so hard that cheeks begin to hurt.
"Really?"
"Really." she confirms.
I lean across the edge of the tub to kiss her. In that kiss I convey all of the love, joy, excitement and passion I can.
"Okay then. Let's do this, let's have our baby." I say while smiling.
"Let's." She replies, with the smile I love so much.
Thoughts?
