Everything's All Right By: Sabriel of the Ravnos

AN: Hey, this is basically my first story for ASMR (the other 2 that I've started are on fanfiction.net, and are still unfinished, since they got wiped off my computer quite some time ago, and I haven't yet tried to re- write the lost chapters). This story is going to seem a little strange, because I've changed so many things from the normal stuff. First of all, Serena and the Sailors are from a different town. not Tokyo. Serena does move to Tokyo, but that's after the tragedy (you'll see). There was no Tuxedo Kamen in their town, he's in Tokyo with Andrew, the arcade, and basically our entire story. I know that I mix the names a bit. ok, I mix the names a lot. I just randomly choose if I want a Japanese name or not, and just go with the flow. I know it's odd, but that's just me. It's a kinda depressing story at first. well I cried anyway, but that could just be because this is almost like reliving memories. When I put the little lines (*-*-*-*, or the other kind) it's a change of time. If I don't specify the time change, then it'll only be a matter of a few hours or so. either that or, I change the POV. You all should be able to tell, since most of it is from Serena's POV. The first song used in the story is Falling by Lacuna Coil; it's one of my favorites. The second song is Half- life, also by Lacuna Coil. Hope you enjoy! BTW- I do not, to my infinite sadness, own Sailor Moon, so none of these characters are my own. *tear drop* So. on to the story!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~On a road somewhere, near a small, little known city~

A sudden flash of lights! But. this is a one-way street! There's a tanker headed for us, and a tree on the other side. The whole car jerks. The brakes squeal. Mina tries to throw the car in reverse. The tanker's too fast. Someone screams, I don't know who. it could have been me. Everything's in slow motion. We're wedged against the tree. I reach out to hold Rei's hand, but everything goes black. Pain! I try to move. I start to cough, something's not right. I squint, trying to see what it is. Blood. I try to scream in fright, but I just cough more. losing more blood. What about Rei, Lita, Ami, and Mina?! I look to my left. Rei's dead. Lita too. I can see up front to the drivers seat. just barely, but I can see it. Mina's just barely breathing. "Still alive." is all I can whisper before the coughing begins again. I can't see the passenger seat. I don't know what happened to Ami. I'm too weak. I fall into darkness again.

I stand, looking my hand

I talk with these lines

That's not the answer

I cry and now I know

looking the sky

I search an answer

So free, free to be

I'm not another liar

I just want to be myself. myself

And now the beat inside of me

is a sort of a cold breeze and I've

never any feeling inside

around me.

I bring my body

carry it into another world

I know I live. but like a stone I'm falling down

Damned, looking into the sky

I can feel this rain

right now it's falling on me

fly, I just want to fly

life is all mine

some day I cry alone,

but I know I'm not the only one

I see that another day is gone

I don't wanna die.

Please be here when I'll arrive, don't die. please

There's a slight ache in my chest, about where my lungs are. A smell. the hospital smell. Of sickness. And death. I try to open my eyes. I feel like it takes all of my power just to do that. I see someone. It's my mother.

Ikuko knelt down and took her daughter's hand. "What's that, Serena? I can barely hear you." "What happened to Mina & Ami?" Serena managed to get out weakly. Ikuko's eyes teared up, and she didn't answer. just squeezed Serena's hand and cried. "Mom. what is it? Please tell me!" She wailed as loud as she could, tears streaming down her face. "I need to know!" "Serena. I think we should talk about this when you're a bit better. Everything will be all right." *2 yrs later, Serena has just moved to Tokyo*

She said it'd be all right. I don't really hate her, but she lied. Everything is NOT all right. I'm alone now. No friends. Later, once I could get everyone to stop crying, and tell me what happened, I found out the truth. It's not all right! Ami died on the way to the hospital. Right in front of her mother. And Mina. my friend who was almost a twin to me. she died only 17 minutes before I woke up. I didn't get to say good-bye! To anyone! How is that all right?! Oh well. It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters anymore to me.

I'm walking down the street. Trying to be like everyone else, and failing. The same way I do everything now. Before, with Ami, I got good grades, once she got me to study. Now she's not there to help me, Mina's not there to make me smile, Rei's not there to yell at me and get me to actually react to anything, and Lita. Lita's not there to tell people to leave me alone. I kick a stone. Oh damn, it's going up instead of just off to the side of the street. It hits someone.

BAM! Those eyes. Blue! The color that I loved most of all out of any color. but that was before. Now the color I wear is black. always black. I start to feel again. almost. He gives a small smile, and turns away. Oh well, it doesn't matter. As I said. nothing matters anymore to me, nothing can touch me. People pass me. Going the other direction, and splitting as they come near me. They're like ants, going around a pebble. I look up at the sky. Blue. Just like the stranger's eyes. It's the one spot of color in my world. That blue. The rest is colorless to me. I haven't appreciated any color since the accident. That was two years ago. Oh well, it doesn't mean anything that the blue stands out. I can never forget.

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The moon is out. A full moon again. This is one of the only times that I feel comfortable. I don't know why, but I feel like I almost draw power from it. Who knows why. it's probably just because I'm so screwed up that I'm going insane. Oh well, I figured it would happen eventually but I never thought it would take this long. Now I have nothing to look forward to other than a white room with padded walls, and a straight jacket. I wonder how long it would take me to get out of one. As I contemplate the possibilities of this I hear a voice saying something.

"What are you doing?" I usually just walk away and ignore people, but now (since my mine is otherwise occupied) I accidentally answer this person. "I'm wondering how long it would take to get out of a straight jacket." Damn. now I might actually have to have a conversation with this person. "And it would take." I kept my eyes closed as he repeated that. Finally I got annoyed. "Can't you see I'm ignoring you?! Get a life a leave me alone, will ya?" Since my eyes were still closed, it was impossible to see who I was antagonizing now. Oh well, I might as well open my eyes, see who it is, answer their question, and leave before they can bother me with more questions.

I look up, intending to glare into this annoying person's eyes, and (if I feel annoyed enough) poke them or something. just to get them mad. Blue! What is up with that color?! It's the same person from earlier. "I believe it would take me around 2 minutes to get free. if interfered with. If not, then about a minute." I start to walk away, hoping that he doesn't follow. I don't want to have to hit him or something just to make my point that I am a non-social person.

"Hey!" he yells out. I keep walking, hoping that he'll just leave me alone. "Did you know," he continues, "that your hair looks like odangos?"

"What?!" I scream. So much for ignoring. No one says that my hair looks like odangos! He didn't even know what was happening, he just caught a glimpse of my fist coming quickly towards one of his beautiful eyes. Hold up. beautiful? Give me a break!

He yells something. I think it was 'shit' but who really cares? It's not like I'll ever see him again. I might have just moved to this place, but really. it's so big! Seeing him twice in one day must have been some sort of fluke. It'll never happen again. I think I got away. he didn't really chase me or anything, but I'm thirsty. I stopped in front of some odd looking place, and looked in a window. There were people drinking, eating, and playing games. Looks like a good place to relax and get a drink. I went in, got a sprite from some blonde haired guy. This is good. I'll have to remember that it's here. On the way out I read the sign, so I would know what to look for next time I needed somewhere to relax. Crown Arcade. Sounds easy to remember.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~Two Weeks Later~

I'm finally done with my first day of school. God! I thought it would never end. A few of those losers tried to talk to me. Can't they understand that they are too dumb to understand me. Right now I just want to be alone. I'm just walking through a park. It's quiet, and there's no one else around. Just me and a bunch of roses. There's one on the ground. I step on it, and grind it into the dirt. What does it matter, it would have become dirt soon enough anyway; I was just speeding up the process. I walk on, leaving the broken flower behind me, and start to look for that place that I found before. What was the name again.? Oh yeah. The Crown Arcade. Sounds ok. I feel like a soda. It's simple enough to find. I once again find myself standing in front of its doors. I went in and sat down. I ordered a Coke, and this time that blonde idiot at the counter didn't try to get me to talk to him, after saying 'hi' and getting no reply.

Someone starts to talk to me. You think they'd just leave me alone like everyone else. I think I recognize that voice, but oh well, everyone sounds the same. It's the whole mentality of the world. I try to ignore the voice, but it grows more insistent. Suddenly a broken dusty rose is thrust in my face. I grimace in distaste as some dust floats into my drink. Here I go again, talking to people. "Hey," I begin, "can't you see I don't want to be bothered?" "Well, then you should think about that before you start killing flowers for no reason, than the fact that you feel like it. Don't you even care that it hurts other people when you're so rude. Plus, the roses are rare, and protected by the park. You could have been arrested for it." (AN: I'm just making this up. I have no idea if that is even possible.)

I looked up. SHIT! It was that same guy from before. and just look at that bruise. I sure got him good! His whole eye seems to be tinted a greenish/yellowish color! "What's you're problem?!" I yell. "Are you stalking me or something?!" He looks shocked at the idea, like it disgusts him or something. "No, you're not worth the time it would take to stalk you. I'm just annoyed at the rude way you just stepped all over this flower." (AN: I know. I'm making him sound odd) "Why do you care? Its not like it matters any way. They all die eventually. Everything dies sooner or later. It's all just a matter of time. Who knows. we could all be dead by tomorrow, or the day after." "Look," replied that oh so annoying guy with the great eyes, "that may be your way of looking at it, but not everyone, or even most everyone shares your opinion on life. Life is something to be protected and cherished. NOT callously thrown away!" "Whatever." I reply. Then digging in my pocket, I drop some money on the counter and walk away. No one even attempts to follow me as I go home, and now all I want is some sleep.

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It's a quiet night, barely any noise at all. For once the pointless jabbering of the world is halted. This is my favorite time of all. No other people to barge in on your thoughts. I don't know why people feel that constant need for talk. It's almost like they're afraid of silence. The silence seems to bring The Reaper closer counting down their time, until it's all gone. (AN: I think you all know I'm talking about the Grim Reaper here . ^_^) I welcome it. The silence doesn't press on me as it does to others. it welcomes me. Tomorrow's another day of school. I don't think I'll go. No one really cares. I'll just hang out at the arcade all day. There's a game there that I've been meaning to try. Maybe I'll even go see those roses again.

My silence is broken suddenly, by the sound of a police car speeding by. It's out of place in this small neighborhood. I'm almost tempted to see what it's about. I can't though. I left that part of my life behind at my old house, and my old life. That part of me is buried with my friends. the Senshi. I left Luna behind too. I couldn't take having her near me. reminding me of my four friends, who I will never see again. She didn't want to stay, but Artemis told her to let me go, and that I'd come back. She agreed. What an idiot! It's been two years. They've been living with Ami's mom. I bet Luna's completely pissed off about how Artemis wouldn't let her go, and telling him at least once a day how wrong he was to trust that I'd return to my old life. I just feel bad for Artemis.

The siren of the cop car is out of range now. I can't hear it anymore. I know the direction it went. But. no! I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not my problem. The police can take care of this themselves. I spent a big part of my life keeping the streets clear of youma. thinking that the police could do their job, and I could do mine. but no. Since the police don't keep a close enough eye on drunk driving, all my friends are dead. I don't just blame that drunken truck driver. I blame the police. I slowly get up. maybe a long walk will clear out my mind.

My steps take me towards the direction where the siren faded to non- existence, almost unconsciously I feel myself trying to transform. I stop just in time. That would have been a mistake. There is no Sailor Moon any more. She died in that car too. Well. it can't hurt to just look at what's going on. I can do at least that much, but past that I won't interfere. I can hear something. I don't know what it is, though. It's like a whistling sound in the air over my head. Like a huge bird flying over my head. yeah, right. a large bird. That's a laugh. I knew I was losing it. Wow. it's windy out here.

"AHHHH!" I scream as something picks me up. If I hadn't been so terrified I probably would have enjoyed the whole flying sensation; but trust me. I was too caught up in fear because of the huge bird like monster that was carrying me to notice that I was flying. I scream again, but no one can help me. I see the police down below, and they're just doing what they usually do. Standing there. That's all. Just watching. I'm surprised that they don't have any doughnuts, because then they could be really comfortable. Eating, sitting on their cars, just watching as a monster flies around with a poor helpless little girl. Well, not exactly helpless. I start to try to swing back and forth, gaining momentum. Then I swing myself completely upside down and grab the claws that had been holding my shoulders. I then tried to hold myself in place while reaching for the small knife that I keep in a small pocket in my pants. I work at the catch a bit, trying to open it without dropping the knife. Ah! I got it. No! The knife starts to slip! If I drop it, then I will have no chance. I got it! Yes! I switch my grip on the knife, and plunge it into one of those clawed feet. It lets go, but now I'm. falling. The ground is rushing towards me. After all those times that I wished I were dead, I never imagined that death would come for me like this. I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact.

I don't feel anything. I look around; someone caught me in mid air. Some guy wearing a tuxedo, cape, mask, and hat. Interesting outfit. He ignores me when I ask who he is. I don't know why I asked. I just wanted to know. Of all the people that I've seen in Tokyo since I got here, I think he's the most interesting. The bird swoops again. I just barely catch the movement out of the corner of my eye. I almost warn the odd masked guy, when he pulls out a rose, and throws it at the youma. Yeah. like a measly little rose is going to do anything! Forget how cool he is. He's an idiot! Geez. I think I might actually have to transform again. do the whole Sailor Moon thing again, just to keep him from getting killed. I turn to watch the rose bounce harmlessly off the feathers of the bird. but it doesn't. The rose pierces the bird. Goes right through. There's a blast of light, and suddenly it explodes. What can I say? I'm shocked! How is it that there was another little super hero right here, and I didn't even notice it? I turn to demand an explanation from him, but he's gone. I curse my self for getting into this. What was I thinking?! I might actually have transformed! I must be sleepier than I realized.

Well, I guess that after school tomorrow I might as well drive back to my old home. I haven't visited my friends' graves since the funeral. it's time to do that again. While I'm at it, I'm going to go collect Luna and Artemis from that old woman who's taking care of them for me. As much as I don't want them here, there's something going on, and I need to find out about it. I really don't want to have to become Sailor Moon again, and save the worthless lives of the people around me, but I guess I just might have to; but I'm only going to transform to figure out what's going on right now. After I'm done with that, I'm going to stop helping. It shouldn't take too long to clean up this mess, and figure it out. Then that masked guy (what ever his name is) can go back to handling this on his own.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~The Next Day- School's Parking Area~

Homework. I hate homework. I toss the Chemistry book in the back seat, and turn on the car. It's a pretty old car, but that's ok, it's a classic. I start the car and pull out, hoping that there will be at least one dumb person who runs in front of me. I just want to run over an annoying person, just to get rid of all that extra stress and annoyance. I had a bad day again. I mean, it's only the second day of school, and I've already got homework. That sucks. It's only going to get worse. I've got a nice 3-hour drive ahead of me, after which I'm going to spend some time in the cemetery, and then go get some cats that hate me. Great. I've got a good station on the radio. I start to sing along a bit with the radio. who wouldn't? It's playing 'Fade to Black' by Metallica. Next they play 'Get Rid of That Girl' by the Donnas. Wow! This must be one of those days that the world takes pity on me, and plays songs I like, instead of that crappy stuff that they usually have. I might not even need any of the music I brought.

I pull up in front of the cemetery, and get out. I'm not sure I'll be able to find all four of the graves, but I'll try. I find Mina's with no problem. There's a flower growing right next to the headstone. A buttercup, her favorite kind of flower because of it's bright yellow. Someone must have planted it there. Rei's is a little way away. It's in really nice order, with a bunch of little red flowers growing next to it. I'm not sure what they are, but they look nice. I miss my friends a lot. I get to Lita's grave next. There are some green vines curling around her name on the stone. As I approach Ami's grave, I see someone there already, tending to some blue flowers. It's Ami's mother. She must be the one that planted the flowers at everyone's graves. I really don't want to talk to her, so I just waited until she was done, before going over there and saying a final good bye to Ami. I feel like my friends are all there by me. Like they're watching me, and it's needless to say good-bye, because they're with me. I brush away the feeling and leave, tears streaming down my face. As I approach my car, I see a slip of paper on it. What? I didn't see any no parking signs! How can I get a parking ticket?! I snatch the paper off my windshield, and read it. My blood turns to ice in my veins. It's from Ami's mom. She said that she misses seeing me around, and is sorry that I didn't want to talk to her. She's also glad that I came, because it's like a piece of all the girls is living on within me.

I crumble up the note, and get in my car. Now I just need to get Luna & Artemis. As I pull up to the house, I notice small children playing in the yard of my old house next door. They look so happy. so carefree. Wave to them, and they give me an odd look. Probably because they have no idea who I am. I knock on the door to the old woman's house, and she answers it. We talked for a few minutes, and then she told me that the cats are all upstairs. I make my way though the house, trying not to step on any of her cats, and finally I get to Luna & Artemis. They didn't say anything, since the old woman was standing right there, but Luna made sure to give me a nice big scratch on my arm. Oh joy. I'm in for a treat on the ride home. Artemis, on the other hand, seems genuinely happy to see me.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~A Week Later~

As I walk through the park, I wonder, for the hundredth time in the past week, what exactly possessed me to get Luna and Artemis back. They have been ruining my life! They want me to start talking to people! Why?! I do not talk to people. They annoy me! But, unfortunately for me, Luna believes that the only way I can find out what's going on is to try and figure out about when all the strange occurrences began. There have been a lot of attacks in the past week, and although I haven't gone running off to see again, it has been hard to sit and ignore the sirens of cars and emergency vehicles, and the screams of those being attacked. I don't know why I feel so drawn to these places of infestation, but I usually find myself going towards where there was an attack after everything's been cleaned up. From reading the newspapers I figured out the name of the "silent savior" as one paper called him. Tuxedo Kamen. It's an interesting name. Luna is afraid of him, because she doesn't know anything about him. I've seen him once or twice since that night that he saved me. I'd just be walking towards the scene of an attack, and I'd see him jumping across the tops of the buildings, leaving after destroying a youma. Luna wants me to be Sailor Moon again, but I can't. Every day she pushes me to my limits. and that's just before breakfast. She always says something to try to get me back to the way I was. "Wear your old shirt! The bright blue one!" or "Where's the pink skirt with the bunny that you always wore?" She always says stuff like that, even though she knows that I burned all my old clothes, just because they reminded me of my friends. She's been getting mad at me a lot. Probably because I act like I don't care about the recent rise in attacks. There's at least two attacks a day. She's been trying to find stuff out about it ever since I got her back. She's also mad at the way that I try to pretend like Mina, Lita, Ami, and Rei never really existed. It's just that she's always saying things like, "Well. It would be a LOT easier to get information about this if Ami was still here!" I hate it when she does that. It's like she's trying to hurt me or something. I've even seen Luna using my communicator some times; I've tried to confront her about it, but she always acts like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. Artemis pretty much tries to stay out of our way when we start to fight.

I stop walking when I get to the entrance to the rose garden. It's like a maze in there. You just turn a corner, and you're surrounded by roses. I slowly walk in, amazed at the sheer number of roses. It always overwhelms me. the sight, scent, and feeling. Like I'm in a whole other world. The perfect red petals of a flower brush my cheek as I turn in a circle to view all of the roses. Then I see something. something so out of place in the tides of red as I am in the world. I walk forward, and am faced by a perfect, smooth, and beautifully created black rose. I touch it, amazed by it's velvety feel. It's softer than all the other flowers in the world. Suddenly a hand reaches from behind me, and plucks it from it's place in the vine. I turn, infuriated at the person who could do that, and see. blue! It's him again. Why can't he just leave me alone? He reaches over and slips the flower into my hair. "Don't you realize," I begin, "that it is against the law to pick these flowers?" He smiles a bit, a perfect smile, that seems to warm my skin, like a kiss from the sun or something. Whoa. kiss from the sun? Yeah. sure. Trust me to get all poetic all of a sudden. It's just a smile! Suddenly I realize he was talking to me. what did he say? "I just thought that the two of you matched perfectly." He repeats. I blush. How is it that this is happening to me? Is he. "Are you hitting on me?!" I burst out, speaking before thinking. once again. He laughs, a laugh that makes me feel safe. All I want is a hug now. I've been feeling sorry for my self for so long, and no one has ever given me a hug, ever since my friends died. Even at the funeral no one wanted to even talk to me, afraid that my depression would rub off on them or something. "I just might be." he answers. I feel safe. I want to stay here. I want to be with him. Wait. be with him? I'd better leave! This is not good. Its almost like I can feel the protective layers of ice around my heart melting, the longer I stand here with him. He reaches out, as if to touch my cheek, and I that scares me. I jump, and run out of the rose garden; leaving him standing there, alone. My feelings scare me. It's been so long since I've felt this way about anyone. I don't know why. but maybe it'd be better if I just stayed away from that place, as much as I enjoy the flowers. While I'm at it I'd better stay away from the arcade too.

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I walked into my room, not noticing how quiet I was until I heard talking. I was already walking slowly, but now I tiptoed too. I got up to my room, passing mom, who was reading the paper in the living room. The talking was coming from my room. It's Luna. Someone answered her back. It sounded like. but no. it's just my imagination. Ami is dead. I slowly push open the door. Luna is sitting there saying something into my communicator. She looks up and sees me, as if some sixth sense alerted her to my presence. She freezes, and then jumps, knocking the communicator off the bed. I lunge for it, but she gets there first. It's off already. There's no way to know who she was talking to. I get up, glaring at her. I see Artemis trying to sneak around me and run away. I grab him by the tail, and slam the door shut. "What's going on?!" I yell at them. Luna's got that look on her face. she'll never crack. I turn to Artemis, who's trying to hide beneath my pillow. "Artemis?" He jumps, and tries to act like nothing's wrong. "Did you want something?" he asks, as if he doesn't know. "Who was she talking to?" I ask, matching his pleasant, conversational tone. "Um. talking? Wha?" he looks for an escape route. "You will tell me." My voice is suddenly gravely and hard, and very. very threatening. Luna jumps in, determined that Artemis not get in trouble for her idea. "It's none of your business who I was talking to." "Well, since the communicators were only used for scout business, and the others were buried with theirs, I'd like to know who else would have one." "Well, you know." Luna looked nervous now, "only you scouts had them." "Yes," I'm getting irritated now, "I know that." Artemis looks nervous, and then yelled, "They aren't dead!" I turn white, then the room goes black.

I put a hand to my head, as images began to swim in front of my eyes. I'm lying on the floor I guess I fell. but why? Something happened. I can't remember what, but it was something bad. My vision clears, and I see Luna, Artemis, and. my friends. I sit up, my mouth hanging open in shock. "Wha- ? How." I can't seem to come up with a whole sentence. "Well." Ami began, "since we're kinda the world's last hope against darkness, destruction, and generally total chaos. we can't quite die." "What the hell do you mean we can't die?! You all died! I saw you. I saw the blood. YOU. WERE. DEAD. End of conversation. I was at the funeral. very depressing. My god. I'm insane. Why aren't I sitting drooling, and running into walls over and over again?!" "SERENA!" Rei yelled, "As Ami just told you, we can't die. Well, we can, but it's not permanent death. It takes a little while, but we come back. Right after our 'deaths' we were just wisps of our selves; we basically had no power. We were like ghosts. We could see what was going on, but we couldn't interact with the world. Now, two years later, we are fully restored, with all our powers back. We're at least as strong as we were before death, if not stronger. We can't die because that would leave the world at the mercy of evil. Your mother had to make sure that something like that wouldn't happen, so she made sure we would always be here." "So." I began, getting over the shock. "If I were to. I don't know. jump off a building or something, and commit suicide, I wouldn't really die? I'd just come back, exactly like my old self, or maybe stronger? "Yes." They all said.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~1 month later- I'm sitting in school trying to ignore the teacher~

Well. this just keeps getting better & better. I'm now not only annoyed by two talking cats, but four undead best friends. Mom's going to love this! I'm just glad that they're not going to be staying with me. Mina said that they've already gotten to know the city a bit. They have jobs, are going to school with me, and are all sharing an apartment. How they did all this in such a short time I don't know. It seems that when I moved here about a month ago, they did too. They said that they have some sort of connection to me that enables them to know where everyone is at all times. It's probably because they died. One time I asked Rei where Mina was, and she told me exactly. That scared me. she just said, "She currently leaving Hot Topic. and now she's going into that little coffee shop. can't remember the name of it though." I almost wish that I could do that. just so that they couldn't sneak up on me the way they do. They seem to take great pleasure in doing that. Jumping out of corners and stuff like that. gives me the creeps. I think the teacher just talked to me, but hey, it's math class, I'm not supposed to pay attention! "Ms. Tsukino! Is there something out that window that you find more interesting that your math test?!" Oh great. now the teacher looks mad. "Oh. not much really. A few birds, a dog. the flowers. Oh! And look at that cute guy. Mind if I run out and get his number?" I try to look innocent, like I'm not being weird. Ami gives me a look across the room; it still baffles me, how they all got into at least one class with me. I've noticed I'm acting a lot like my old self again. not a good sign. "Well Ms. Tsukino, I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to admire your outside surroundings in detention. And for good measure, I'm giving you a zero on your test! For all we know, you could have been cheating." Great. you think I made her mad? This is really like old times. Detention, zero's on tests. oh yeah.

Now I just need to keep my head down and shut up, or else I'll get more detentions. I manage to murmur, 'Whatever' before class ends. Then I pretty much ran out to lunch, with Ami getting on to me about grades. This is just what I need. I really don't want to spend an entire lunch listening to four ex-dead people telling me about messing up my grades in school. I just need to get out of here. Forget avoiding that weird guy, I'm going to skip out of the rest of the school day, and just sit around in that rose garden. I get up, and start to walk out of the cafeteria, trying to get out when. "Serena! Where are you going?!" It's Mina, running up next to me.

"Look, Mina, I just need to be alone for a bit. I'm gonna leave." She looks shocked, and then understanding. "Ok, I guess I understand how strange it is to be around us now, since we usually end up going on about how hard it was to wait to get our powers back, or being ghosts. go ahead. Since I've got the next class with you, I'll just tell the teachers that you got sick, ok?" "Thanks Mina!" Now I'm more cheerful. Maybe everything will be all right.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*

I really love this rose garden. It's so quiet that it would be easy to pretend that there's no one else in the world. Just me and the flowers. I still have that black rose; for some reason it's still alive. I've got it in the black, crystal vase, and it still looks just like it did the day that that guy. who ever he is, picked it for me. I have never seen another black rose in my life, but I guess that's just the way it is. One of a kind, like me. Something else catches my eye. it's a single white rose. just where the black rose was. For some reason all I can think about is that guy. I almost wish I could get to know him better, but- no. It can't happen, that would really blow my whole anti-social life to pieces. I'd get to know him, then I'd have to start talking to him in the streets, and then (inevitably) he'd try to introduce me to some of his friends, and then I'd have to talk to them too! No! Can't happen. I do not want to suddenly know half of the people in Tokyo, I mean, a guy as good looking as him probably knows everyone. or they know him. Just thinking about the sheer number of people he probably knows makes me tired. I lay down, I just want to close my eyes for a second.

It's dark. I must have fallen asleep. What woke me? Ah, now I hear it again. Sirens. There's another attack. I might as well check it out. I start running in the direction of the sirens. I see a monster, seems kinda small. It reminds me of a very large rat. I'm the only one here. This thing is killing innocent people, and I'm the only 'super hero' here. I might actually have to help. So far, I still haven't had to but. I guess there's a first time for everything. I run to a near by alley way, and whisper the words; trying not to attract attention. There! I knew I could still do it. I pull at the bottom of my skirt. Was it always this short?! I run out there to do some serious butt kicking. Forget a geeky little speech, I just want to get this over with. I blast the rat thing and smile, as I see that all that's left is a small pile of smoking rat fur. Obviously I haven't lost my touch. I notice some movement out of the corner of my eye. Damn! It's that Tux guy! I start to run away, hoping to avoid awkward questions, and the general notice of him, but it doesn't work. He sees me, and starts me. He's faster than I am, and catches me. He should really play football if he doesn't already, with a tackle like that. (AN: Wait, don't tell me. they don't have football in Japan? Well. I put it in the story so. *blows raspberry*) "Where are you going?" he asks, completely out of breath. Ha, at least it took him a lot of exertion to catch me. "I am leaving, if that's all right with you. Or was I supposed to bow, and ask your permission?" I'm starting to get annoyed, and therefore. sarcastic. "Why haven't I seen you before?" he asks, looking annoyed with me. "Probably because I didn't want to be seen." I reply, trying to cut the interrogation short. I get up, and dust myself off. He just sits there watching me, grinning as if he knew something I didn't. Finally, unable to contain myself, I growled, "Was there something you wanted to tell me?" He just started laughing, and then, in between gasps for air, I heard, "Your skirt. it's all bunched up. Nice panties." And then he collapsed on the ground again, lost in helpless laughter. I think a few tears even leaked from his eyes. I looked down. Sure enough, my skirt was all bunched up, and my panties were showing. Grrr. this does not make me happy. "Hentai!" I scream, before running to an abandoned shelter where I promptly changed back to 'me'. I believe I heard him mention something about my hair, and something about odangos, but I was just trying to get away, so it didn't really click in my mind. All I could thing was, 'That was just perfect. My first time to transform, and this happens!'

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*

This is such a miserable world. I'm sick. On top of everything else that I have to do, I'm now fighting off the flu! How is that right?! I'm busy enough fighting all of these youma! I can't exactly stop in the middle of kicking ass to say, "Excuse me, but I'll be back in about five minutes. I just need to take some more medicine, and blow my nose. and sneeze." That will not work. I feel like shit. The other day, I yelled at a TEACHER! Can you believe it?! A teacher! What happened to my whole 'ignore all people who talk to you' thing? I was just so stressed out, and then that teacher started chewing me out for falling asleep! Who could blame me? It was chemistry class! No one stays awake, unless they're strange, and impervious to the monotone voice that puts everyone else to sleep. I haven't talked to my friends in a while, it's still kinda hard to be around them. I especially hate it when they start going off on their little side conversations of, 'Remember when we were still invisible and.' They actually followed a guy home, and watched him for a few days! That just gives me the creeps! I feel bad for that guy, who ever he is. I put my hand on my forehead, and feel how warm it is. very. Great, I've got a major fever now too. I could have been happy without that. I collapse onto my couch. Now all I need is to get some tea, pop a movie in, and sleep. Ah, my Care Bears movie collection! Perfect! I pop in a tape to watch 'The Care Bears Nutcracker Suite', and settle down with my Paradise Kiss manga. This is the life. or it would be, if I wasn't so sick! I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I know, the movie is at the very end, and the sound of my communicator beeping wakes me up. It was Rei. She called me a few insulting things, told me I looked like hell, and then said that I should stop being so lazy, and actually help them fight. Aren't the undead fun? I would be a bit happier if they were still dead though. I wonder why I spent so much time wishing that they were still alive. Nothing's the same. I guess this is where that saying, "Be careful what you wish for" comes in to kick me in the ass. I get up, but my whole body aches. Have I mentioned yet, that I hate being sick?? Well, let me say it again. I hate being sick!!! So. Now all I have to do is go save the day for this pathetic little world. again, and then I can go back to being sick.

I arrive on the scene, feeling like my head was about to explode. The other senshi were already there. and Tuxedo Kamen. Mina got knocked over, and I ran over to help her. I never even saw the monster. I just blacked out. It didn't even hit me that hard. I don't really remember much. As I'm told by a very reliable source (Mina, sounding like it's a dream come true), our little Tux friend picked me up, and just ran off with me. Mina informed me that it kinda reminded her of some sort of Tarzan thing. This is just great isn't it? Now all my friends want to know what's going on, since they won't believe it was nothing. He took me to some apartment that he has set aside for emergencies, and the next thing I knew, there was a cool cloth on my forehead, and he was shaking me, trying to get me to take some medicine. I will admit that it was pretty sweet, but hey, this is me. guys aren't attracted to me as I am. Most just like how I look and want to get lucky. Ami thinks that I'm being too blunt when I say that, but it's true. I'm not going to kid myself into thinking that anyone could love me for me. Love is a joke. Personal opinion is that anyone who believes in it is a loser. I hate to say it, but that makes Mina the biggest loser. she's always preaching on how wonderful love is once you've found it. I have to keep myself from reminding her that she's never been in love, so she has no experience to base this belief in. I'm really confused by life in general right now. I have a crush on some guy that I don't even know. well, actually two guys if you count Tuxie, but I'm not counting him. I also have my friends to deal with, and Luna & Artemis. This just keeps getting more and more complicated. What's next?! With the way things are going now, who knows what's going to happen. I could get run over by a car or something, and have to fight on a broken leg or something! Great, now I'm paranoid. I'm going to be glaring at everything that gets near me, thinking that it's going to attack me.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~ A month or so later- New Guy?!~ (AN: Due to an extreme writer's block that has continued for quite some time, I'm going to stir things up a bit. hope it works)

Hey, there's a new guy in school. He's pretty cute, even though I still have a crush on Darien. I just don't know how to shake that crush thing off. I've tried, believe me, I've tried, but nothing seems to work. I sit there pointing out to my self that he's a total jackass, and he's weird. but then that little voice says, "Yeah, but look how great he is with those kids, and that body. that's a nice body!" What can you say to combat that?! It's true! I just can't win here. Back to the new guy though. I've been hanging out with him a lot. He seems to understand where I'm coming from, since he just lost his brother. That's kinda sad. He keeps saying that he wishes that his brother would come back, and I just have to refrain from telling him that, no, he does not wish that, because that would scare the living daylights out of him. He wouldn't understand if I did say that, though, so I just nod my head, and pretend Mina & them are all still dead. He's been helping me a bit with my school work (those teachers are such bitches!), and in return, I hang out with him. For some reason, every time I go to take him to the rose garden, something comes up. Either there's an attack somewhere, or Darien walks up and practically interrogates my new little man whore (his name is Seiya, but hey, I can give him a nickname. can't I?). I don't know why Darien is so curious, but he almost always seems to be hanging around. It doesn't really matter if I developed a crush on Seiya anyway, because he's got this 'thing' about Mina. he's completely stuck on her. Every time she comes around, he practically drools, so I said that I'd see what I could do. Unfortunately, Mina doesn't seem that interested, but maybe I could convince her to go out with him at least once. The poor boy seems like he's dying sometimes. Either that, or he looks like he's choking to death, because of how red his face gets.

We still haven't figured out what's up with the 'dark forces' this time. I think that they're just attacking at completely random intervals to piss me off. Well, if that's the case, then it's working. I mean, now when there's an attack, we should probably stop telling everyone, and all attacking the youma at once, because they are so weak. A normal person could probably defeat one of those babies just by throwing a rock at it or something. It's really annoying. Supposedly we just have to find the princess, and the world will be right again, right? Well then I wish she'd hurry up and be found, because I just want to have my old life back. I want to live like a normal person, and just be happy again. All of us senshi went to the mall together the other day, and it was just like the old days. I'm starting to really accept them again, and they've finally realized that I do not like hearing about after life, and being ghosts. Once we find the princess, it'll start a whole new life for us. Luna calls it the 'Silver Millennium'. She says that the princess will put everything right, and then she and her price/husband will rule. Know what I say? They can have it. The thought of ruling doesn't appeal to me in the least. I don't even like commanding the senshi, so I basically let Mina do that. They don't even notice that they're taking orders from her usually. I had a dream the other night. The princess was there, but I couldn't see her. There was a man there, and he looked like Darien in a suit of armor. I almost laughed at the thought of Darien as a knight in shining armor. The princess was singing something.

I don't want to be just a branch of the tree

I just want to learn how to grow my own seed

My horizon so hard to be outlined

Riding all my time I'm still draining my day away

You've got a natural healing

How do you get so strong, get so strong?

Who is this lord of the feeling?

How did he get so big, get so big?

So Fragile

This feeling

To be broken

In two

It's really weird to say that there in the future

We're not living all our life

It's just what I know

We're incomplete despite of a new millennium

You're hiding fate

Wonderful to say that you'll never know

when the world

Is going to fall and that

Is all i know

We're incomplete despite of the new millennium

I don't want to be just a cure for a need

Here into my prison I'm searching the key

My horizon so hard to be outlined

Riding all my time I'm still draining my day away

You are an unnatural survivor

Self-abuser hurt your own

All the answers sweet seduction

Chaos keeper out of control So special

This feeling

To be common

Like you

It's really weird to say that here in the future

We're not living all our life

It's just what I know

We're incomplete despite of a new millennium

Take off your veil I'll be your fate

Wonderful to say that you'll never know when the world

Is going to fall and that

Is all I know

We're incomplete despite of the new millennium

Yup, that was the song. I keep dreaming about it. It seems to haunt me. It doesn't sound very happy either. I don't know why. I got the feeling that there's something wrong. Maybe it's just that we need to find her, or maybe she's waiting for something, and we can't even get to the Silver Millennium until what ever it is she's waiting for happens, but it's just a creepy dream. I always wake up with tears in my eyes. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* ~The Next Day, walking to the rose garden

I talked to Luna and Ami about the dreams, since I can't seem to shake them. Luna thinks it's a message, and Ami thinks that she needs more time to process the info, but I'm betting you that she'll come up with the same thing as Luna. She'll just sprinkle in a lot of big words, and make it sound like she's the first one to come up with it, but that's ok, I can deal with it. Now I just want to know what we're doing wrong. Luna said that the only reason she'd be singing a song about something incomplete, is because we've made a mistake. For some reason everyone looked at me when she said that. Why?! I didn't do anything. Everyone thinks that it's a mistake to hang out with Seiya, though, because he's almost discovered that I'm Sailor Moon about 5 times now, due to my oversight. Whatever. It's not like he'll ever actually figure it out, unless I had him stand in one spot and stare at me while I transform to get my point across. I hate to say it, but he is kinda slow. It's pretty sad that I'd have to hit him upside the head with my tiara, and announce who I am, just for him to figure it out, but that's just how it is with those soccer jocks. they just don't have the mental capacity to cope with anything other than soccer. (AN: heh. I'm just poking fun at a friend of mine, so no offense to the soccer players out there!)

Hey, big news for the world! Yeah, Mina said that she'd go out on one date with Seiya, which makes me happy, cuz then maybe he'll stop talking about her all the time. I am her best friend, and know exactly about all her virtues. or lack thereof. Half the time when he talks about her, I just have to ask, "Are we talking about Mina, or some kind of moon princess?" That one always makes him laugh, although I know that he doesn't get the true irony of the statement. Oh well, I guess it just makes me feel smarter to hang out with some one as slow as he is. I actually have to help him in Algebra II, which makes me feel real damn smart. that is. until I turn a paper in, and every single answer is incorrect. Then I avoid most human contact, and retreat to the rose garden. Yeah, I sulk, so what. Which reminds me, I still haven't shown Seiya the roses. I'm not sure I really want to, because if I do show him, then he'll probably go there with Mina, and then everyone will know exactly where I go to be alone, and it won't really be a sanctuary for me anymore.

I turn around the last corner, and step into the bright assault of the scent of roses. I've noticed that they almost always seem to be in bloom. Bright pink and purple with a few periwinkle blue ones during the spring, bright orange and yellow petals during the summer, vibrant golden brown and blood red during the fall, and a pure white in the winter with the occasional bright icy blue ones. I find that pretty odd, but I guess I won't comment on it, since it's not like I dislike being surrounded by roses all the time. It feels welcoming in a way, like the flowers know me. I've run into Darien here a few times, but luckily it's been pretty dark, so he couldn't see the fact that I blush bright red every time I talk to him. I reach over, and pick a rose, heedless of whether anyone is around or not, until. Someone hits me, I fall down, my sight going dark. What's going on? Blackness enfolds me, as my attacker begins dragging me somewhere.
~ACK!!! WRITERS BLOCK. can't. seem. to. get the words. out!!! I need some help I think! I know what I want to happen, so give me a while, and I'll probably get the story right where I want it. Any ideas, comments, or (cringes) criticisms? Please read and review! I wasn't planning on putting this up until I was completed with it, but it's taking a really long time, and I just wanted to get some feed-back. -until I update again. ~Kris (heh. yeah, that's me!)