Day Five: [theme: fluff] kittens and puppies / baby shoes / snuggles under a blanket / hot chocolate and frozen breath / marshmallows / cotton candy / cake by the ocean / bubbles / ice cream / fluffy wake up

A/N: AU of the war where Naruto, Hashirama, and Obito (who Naruto and Kakashi had gotten to much earlier than canon) use their combined Therapy Jutsu on the recently re-revived Non-Edo Tensei Madara, before he could become the ten-tails Jinchuriki. Also, this is crack. Enjoy.


To say Uchiha Madara was excited was like saying kittens were cute. Or puppies. Really. Whichever floats your boat.

The reason he was so excited was because, after spending the day snuggled under a blanket out on the porch, drinking hot chocolate and trying to ignore how freaking cold it was (seriously, he could see his breath and that was 100% not acceptable), his, uh, wife for lack of a better term, handed him a slice of cake decorated with tiny blue baby shoes. It was his favourite kind of cake too, an ice-cream cake that tasted like cotton candy and had little decorative marshmallows on it. Truly a masterpiece. He ate nearly the whole thing before he caught onto exactly what the cake represented. He paused in his devouring of the cake and turned to look at the extremely amused looking pink-haired woman standing beside him. He opened his mouth to say something, but the only sound that came out was a rather undignified squeak that he will forever deny having made.

"You're... You're, ah...?" She laughed.

"Yes." He nodded and went back to eating his cake. And no matter what she said, Sakura was very, very, wrong when she said he fainted. He was an Uchiha. Uchiha do not faint.


The tale of how they ended up, ah, 'getting it on' as one Uzumaki Naruto says, began about four years back on the battlefield of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Madara had just been truly brought back to life, heart beating and blood pumping, and, less than a second later, he was punched in the face by three people. Namely, Naruto, Hashirama and Obito. And somehow, being punched by the three made him think back to his rather sucky childhood and his friendship with Hashirama, and then he revaluated his entire Moon's Eye Plan and deemed it a ridiculous idea. All in the span of time it took for him to fly back from the force of the combined punch. He lay still on the ground and cursed, before sitting up with a sigh. Hashirama beamed at him, seeing the resigned look in his eyes.


Apparently, rethinking your entire life in the span of a single punch happens far too often to Naruto's enemies, as Konoha had an entire procedure in place for when it happens and the now reformed enemies enter the village. All Madara, and Obito, had to do was fill out a few forms and swear on their lives to not harm a citizen of the village, unless in self-defense or during a spar. After the paperwork was filed, Konoha accepted them back with open arms. It was actually rather unnerving to be smiled at and be talked to as if you weren't the cause for the latest world wide war.


He bumped into the pink-haired woman about a month after he finished 'decking out', as the youth say, his new house on the outskirts of the deserted Uchiha compound. And he says 'bumped', but in reality he may have been stalking her for quite a while beforehand. It was the hair. Really. Come on, what kind of a ninja has vibrant pink hair? Anyway, they shared a pleasant conversation about his stupid grand-nephew dicking off, heading in the direction of who knows where, leaving her without a teammate, again, and him in charge of everything Uchiha. Which was, admittedly, rather stupid of Sasuke. Leaving Uchiha Madara, of all people, in charge? His parents were probably turning in their graves.


They meet 'accidentally' many more times, before, nearly six months later, she finally asked him to accompany him on a mission to the Land of Waves. It may not be the candlelight dinner he had, for some odd reason, been imagining, but it was something. After she finished being all diplomatic to the people of Wave, they spent the remaining week they had just lazing about of the beach. Wave was currently going through its hottest summer in years, which was a great boon for the country's economy. The day before they were set to leave, Wave threw a huge party. It was there that Madara discovered just how much he liked cotton candy and marshmallow ice-cream cake. And seeing Sakura in a bikini. Both were now equal in his eyes, especially because he'd never forget the sight. Having the Sharingan was definitely good for something.


It took him close to two years to finally seduce her into his bed.

...

Okay, so it might have been her seducing him, and it might not have been a bed but instead the Hokage, Kakashi's, desk, but still. They did somehow end up back at his place in the end. And trust him, waking up the next morning was very satisfying. That whole day ended up being just perfect. Probably because they only left the bedroom for lunch, and even then, they didn't quite end up eating food. Oh, the things she did with her tongue... neither of them could walk straight for a week.


Anyway, yeah. They'd been bumping uglies for close to two years at this point. Honestly, he was a little surprised something like this didn't happen sooner. He was all about going au natural, if you catch his drift. Madara chuckled to himself and shoved another spoonful of cake into his mouth. Sakura sat next to him and shimmied her way under his blanket, before letting out a soft sigh and rolling her eyes.

"I can't believe you can eat an ice-cream cake in the dead of winter." She muttered. Madara raised a brow.

"I won't let the curse known as winter stop me from enjoying cotton-candy-marshamallow cake." Sakura snorted.

"It's freezing and you complain about seeing your breath every five minutes." He shrugged.

"I never denied that it was cold."

"You deny the fact that you fainted when I told you I was pregnant."

"I most certainly did not, and I ask of you to stop spreading such slanderous rumours."