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Roxas moped in his dark bedroom of Castle Oblivion. Why would he care that no one paid attention to him? Larxene had death glared him when he walked into the room, and Axel had only given him a passing glance since he was wrapped around the blonde bitch. Marluxia and Demyx said 'hi' and turned away to continue their conversation. Everyone else minded their own business with each other, but casually ignored Roxas's presence. So he had left, nobody noticing, and locked himself in his room to pout on his bed. "Damn, I'm turning into Zexion," he muttered to himself.
The sky darkened and soon it was too shady to see, but he didn't bother to turn on the
light. He stared at the now-black ceiling wishing that a certain someone would pay
attention to him.
He sighed heavily. What good would wishing do? It certainly didn't pry strong hands from the waists of unworthy bitches.
That much was obvious.
Roxas let out a low growl, punching the wall behind him in frustration. Larxene could kiss his skinny ass. Axel was his best friend.
You're not most important to him anymore, an inner voice reminded him bluntly. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn't force Axel to love him the most. He couldn't be Axel's favorite because Axel had a girlfriend and would never be in love with Roxas.
Frustrated tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. He rolled over, burying his face in his pillow, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. His breath came in hiccups around the frog lodged in his throat.
Roxas hated crying. He hated how his eyes puffed up and his nose turned runny. The rough discomfort of salt sticking to his cheeks made him cringe. But the worst part was how weak it made him appear, like a little kid.
So when a knock broke through the sound of his choked sobs he tensed, scrambling to make himself presentable. Rubbing his eyes hurriedly with the back of his hands, he inhaled deeply to collect himself as best he could before pulling open the door.
Axel's deep emerald eyes widened as he absorbed the state Roxas was in. His eyes were rimmed red and his hair and clothes were disheveled, but he didn't seem to notice that the redhead was gawking. "What do you want?" he asked curtly.
"You left pretty abruptly earlier. I wanted to see if you were alright." Axel shifted his weight from one foot to the other nervously.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Roxas started to shut the door, but Axel stuck his foot between it and
the wall, pushing his way into the dark cavern.
"Geez, Roxy. Turn a light on, why don't you?"
Roxas just frowned at him in response to the nickname. How dare Axel act like he hadn't done anything. The taller boy threw himself across the queen sized bed in the middle of the room. He didn't mention the fact that he taken note of the damp tears he felt on the pillowcase.
Roxas hoped that his current appearance had gone unnoticed since Axel hadn't said anything. He could be fairly oblivious at times.
"So what's up? Why did you run off earlier?"
"No reason," Roxas muttered.
"You're my best friend, got it memorized? Tell me what's wrong."
Roxas took a deep breath. Could he finally just spill out what was wrong? Axel didn't seem like he would mind… but then again he didn't know what was dancing in the forefront of Roxas's mind.
So he lied like he always did. It might not have propelled him further but it also didn't set
him back. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."
"Are you mad at me?"
This question made Roxas stop and think. Was he angry with Axel? No, he was his best
friend, and he wanted him to be happy. But Larxene on the other hand….
The Savage Nymph made a hatred unlike all else bubble up inside him. She had loathed
him when she was forced to train him to wield magic, and she kept that revulsion burning strong. She stole his best friend. He had been his number one. He had made Axel feel like he had a heart.
But not anymore.
At that moment, Larxene wrapped her knuckles on the open door. "Oh, there you are, Axel. Come to bed with me; it's late." Sharp eyes sneered at Roxas, who scowled in response.
The redhead glanced between his girlfriend and his best friend, ultimately deciding to stand up from the mattress and walk out of the room with her. "Well, as long as you're okay then I guess I'll leave. Goodnight, Roxy." He grabbed Larxene's hand and sauntered out the door.
Heart shattered over the choice made, Roxas all but kicked the door shut behind the couple. If Axel hadn't been there he would have yanked her into the room and hacked to shreds with his keyblades.
Nonetheless, his hands were tied and he couldn't do anything but watch his love crash around his ears. So Roxas submitted to throwing himself into bed and sobbing until he passed out.
The short nobody awoke the next morning feeling tousled and gross. The shower across the room called his name, and he found he felt considerably better once he stepped out of the steamy bathroom with a towel tied around his waist and one rubbing blond spikes dry.
Donning his standard black pants, cloak, and combat boots, he took a deep breath before scribbling across a scrap of paper and leaving the room.
Axel was a bastard. A stupid, oblivious bastard. And Larxene was just something unmentionable in its own.
The note Roxas had in his pocket crumpled in his fist as he watched Axel cuddle up to her and attempt to kiss her neck.
He was ready to turn and leave when Axel nodded towards him. "Hey, Roxy, c'mere!"
Grudgingly, Roxas walked over to the couple. "What's up?" Axel ignored the monotonous demeanor.
Letting go of Larxene momentarily, the redhead picked him up to hug him, putting him down and patting his head when he saw the fuming expression blazing across pale cheeks.
"Hey, Rox, what's that?" Axel tilted his head curiously, staring at the folded piece of
paper in Roxas's grip. The blond gritted his teeth and shoved the paper at him before
darting off, Larxene's cackle chasing behind him until he broke through the doors to the main hallway of the castle. Axel looked questioningly at the note in his hand before letting go of his girlfriend to open it so she couldn't read over his shoulder. His best friend was obviously upset and if this gave him any clue as to what was wrong, he didn't want to betray Roxas's trust by letting someone else see that he was hurt. He loved being the only nobody that the keyblade-wielder ever opened up to.
Gently unfolding the paper, he read the few words scrawled across it in hasty handwriting.
- Sea-salt ice cream tomorrow?
Axel rubbed the back of his flaming red hair in thought. He had a date with Larxene the
next day, but obviously Roxas needed him or the brooding nobody wouldn't have suggested a get-together without being finished with a mission.
He sighed and turned to address the electric-wielder. "Baby, I gotta cancel on you tomorrow. Something important came up."
She grimaced. "It's that little brat, isn't it?" she snapped.
"Yes, as a matter of fact it is that 'little brat'," he shot her a glare. "A 'little brat' who happens to be my best friend and needs some help."
Larxene scoffed. "Oh, he could use more than some help."
"Well he obviously couldn't use whatever the hell's shoved up your ass right now. Got it memorized?" With that, Axel stormed off in the direction Roxas had left. After he cooled off a bit, he found himself in the main hall with Demyx. "Hey, Dem," he brushed red hair back, frustrated. "Have you seen Roxas?"
Demyx shook his head and shrugged. "Not recently, no. Sorry. But I've been hearing
crying from his room lately."
"Really?" this came as a surprise since Axel had thought his distress was a one-time thing.
"Why?"
He shrugged again. "I don't know. I figured he was just out for attention. It's not like he has a heart for real emotion, you know?"
Axel was silent. He didn't know how to react to this news of Roxas's state. "Thanks, Dem," he nodded, rushing off toward the younger's room.
Demyx called after him. "Anytime!"
Honestly, Roxas wasn't sure why he was so upset. He was supposed to be heartless, wasn't he? He shouldn't have been capable of feeling so dejected based on memory of the feeling alone. Nonetheless, he sulked down the hallway obliviously lost in his own world.
But his thoughts were interrupted as he was scooped up from behind.
"What are you doing?" he flailed, fighting the arms that held him tightly to no avail.
Hot breath glided over Roxas's neck and he stilled, desperately holding in a groan of pleasure. Unaware of the effect he was having on the younger, Axel jokingly flicked his tongue over the corner of Roxas's mouth. Roxas gasped, and the redhead grinned like a maniac. "You had chocolate on your face," he lied.
Roxas hastily jerked away, rubbing the feeling away frantically with the back of his hand.
"Axel, that's gross."
The redhead smirked and kissed Roxas's forehead, grinning when the boy turned deep red and became increasingly interested in the floor.
"I need to go," he coughed out and opened a warp to escape, leaving Axel confusedly starting at the spot his best friend had just been standing.
Laying in the dark room alone, Roxas searched through notes he and Axel had passed that he had collected. The redhead didn't know that he kept all of their scraps of paper in a box in his room, and Roxas wasn't about to let him find out. But whenever he read through them they made him so happy he could cry. There was a different person behind those emerald eyes that was subdued because of her. Whenever she wasn't around he was back to his normal sweet self, but he turned uncaring and obliviously indifferent to everyone except for her whenever she was around. Roxas would have killed to have back the Axel who cared about and acted uncharacteristically cutesy towards only him.
But who was he to deserve that treatment?
He knew in his non-existent heart that he couldn't expect it. He wasn't worthy and he needed to just let go. So why did it have to be so damn difficult?
He woke up every night crying, broken once again. Being around the couple was suffocating. He only felt happy when he was alone with the redhead, but that was rare
anymore. He needed something more than just memories of what used to be his.
The feeling of emptiness wracked Roxas's small body. The younger shook as sobs rattled
him and he coughed to breathe. Was it love? What was the feeling that tore at him from the inside? He was infuriated with the boy. How could love be so close to rage?
He just had to be enamored with his best friend where their relationship wouldn't evolve.
