July 11th
This isn't a diary or anything. I'm not some little girl who writes her deepest, most embarrassing thoughts into some book. This notebook is evidence. When I die - which I feel will be any day now – hopefully someone will discover this notebook and learn what I have to put up with every day.
My name is Claus. My twin brother is Lucas. Next to him, people consider me to be the more outgoing, daring, and playful one. Lucas presents himself as shy, loving, and somewhat of a pansy. No one would ever suspect him of anything evil. Mum, Dad and Grandpa positively dote on him. They think he's so sweet, like the epitome of love itself.
You might think I'm jealous of him or something. Well, I'm not. Maybe I am, a little. It doesn't matter. What really matters is what Lucas is like when we're alone.
He's like a little devil. He bullies me and toys with me. I'm his plaything.
I tried telling my parents, but who'd believe me next to adorable little Lucas? All he has to do is put on that cute face of his, eyes slightly teary, hands apologetically behind his back. Then, anyone will forgive him. Even me, for a brief moment. Then I snap out of it and remember that's he's really an evil little bastard.
Let me tell you how.
Last weekend, Lucas and I went to Grandpa's house in the mountains to visit. Mum and Dad stayed home because they had things to take care of. Anyways, things were going pretty normal. Grandpa made us beef stew, and it was really good.
On Sunday morning, Lucas asked me to go out and play with him. I agreed. He brought a long piece of rope with him. When I asked it what it was for, he simply smiled and said, "Nothing."
We ventured really high up into the mountains. Every time I suggested we go back, Lucas replied, "No, no, let's go higher." It didn't make much sense. We were both afraid of heights. I concluded that this would simply be a test of our bravery.
Soon, we reached the edge of a rocky cliff. The forest and town looked miniscule below.
"Lucas…" I said.
He simply giggled mischievously, and then he tackled me to the ground.
Physically, I'm stronger than Lucas. However, he's much better at manipulating his PSI during a fight. He had no trouble stuffing me chest first into the ground. He tied my hands behind my back. He tied my ankles together. I tried resisting, but Lucas was sitting on my butt, immobilising me. I squirmed: that was as much as I could do.
When Lucas was done, he stood up and brought me to the edge of the cliff. I looked down. My face paled when I realized exactly how high up we were.
"Lucas! What the hell are you doing?" I protested.
"Relax, brother. I just wanted to see if you were afraid of heights."
"You know I am! Now lemme go!" I squirmed even more.
Lucas frowned at me. "But that's not fun, is it?"
He moved my body forward, so that the tips of my feet were right at the edge. A few rocks tumbled from the cliff and rolled down until you couldn't hear them.
"Ah, Lucas! Please. I didn't do anything. This is scary. Let's go back."
"Nope." Lucas said. And then he prodded me forward. Only my heels were on the cliff now. Lucas' arms, wrapped tightly around my waist from behind, were all that was keeping me from falling.
"Lucas! Lucas this isn't funny. Let me go. Please?"
"Sure," he said.
And then he let me go. Literally. I fell face first into the air. At that moment, I seriously thought I was going to die. I let out a yelp, and then suddenly I stopped falling. My eyes were closed tightly shut.
I was suspended by the rope that held my arms and ankles together. Lucas was holding the end of the rope from the edge of the cliff, laughing down at me.
I dared to open my eyes, and then I went dizzy. The rocky outcroppings of the mountain lay hundreds of metres below me.
"How do you feel?" Lucas asked me.
I didn't say anything. I just sobbed gently and tried not to move too much. If I did, the rope would sway, giving the uncertain feeling that it might break at any moment. I could feel the front of my shorts getting wet.
Eventually, Lucas seemed satisfied, so he pulled me back up onto the cliff. I was breathing heavily, sweating, crying, and I'd peed my pants.
"Look at you, you're a mess," Lucas grinned.
Lucas untied me and helped wipe my face clean with a handkerchief.
"W-why'd you do that?" I asked.
He simply shrugged and said, "I was bored."
When we returned, Grandpa was home. He looked at my wet shorts and giggled. I was embarrassed.
"Claus had a little accident," Lucas said sweetly, with a hint of discomfiture to guarantee his innocence. Stupid Lucas. I wanted to scream out loud that Lucas had dangled me from the top of a mountian. But who would believe me?
We're back at our parents. It's 1 a.m., and everyone's asleep. I have to write this in secret. If Lucas ever found out about this notebook, he'd probably torture me even more. But for now, I'd like to secretly confess that I hate him. I'm scared of him. He's a bastard of a little brother. And since no one will believe me, I'll have to confine my thoughts to this black notebook, which I'm hiding under a bench behind the house for now. Anyways, I'd better go back to bed now. Lucas might notice if I'm gone.
-Claus
A/N: Review! More to follow.
