Time Gone By
Disclaimer: I do not nor ever will own Inuyasha. Though I wish I did.
It's the night before graduation and I can't sleep. The only sounds I hear are three different snores and a purring cat. I hate the dark. I hate that there is nothing to do and nowhere to go. I hate the fact that in the stillness I can't control my mind. I miss him. Every single day, every single hour, my soul calls out for him and in the night, it screams.
In the first three months when the well closed, I was inconsolable. I was happy to be home but I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I couldn't get back. What about my friends, what about Inuyasha? I cried. I cried so much that you could have built a pond with my tears. My family understood, but after awhile my mom started to get that worried look all the time, so I stopped. Well, in front of them at least. Everyone assumed that I was doing better. They knew I still missed them, missed him, but all they saw was the fact that I was talking again, doing things. If they could have looked inside, they would have seen what a mess I was. I had two different parts in my head. I used the part that was numb to get through the day. The side that knew how to act and the right things to say. Not that I didn't enjoy myself or the people around me. I did. I was just scared to feel too much. Scared of remembering something from the past and I would break down again. The pain and anger were always just below the surface. The second part in me just yelled and cursed all day that it couldn't end like this. Shippo needed me to take care of him. I was supposed to see Sango and Miroku get married. I was supposed to stay by Inuyasha's side.
Then the months turned into years, and the pain my mama told me would get better has never gone away. True, I'm no longer numb now, but my heart still aches for the one I call my own. We never said what would happen when the quest ended, when we finally killed Naraku. I thought we would have time.
Time to heal, time to figure out which step to take next. Now I have all the time in the world and all of the regrets to fill it. I never told him I loved him. Never looked in his eyes and said that you are everything that I could ever wish for. I know where I belong and though I would miss my family, miss this future, I belong in the past. The city I love has become too crowded for me, the air too thick. I miss the clean breezes of the Feudal Ages, the sky so open you could see forever. Most of all, I yearn to be with him again. To stand beside him and remind him, that no matter what, he should always be proud of what he is.
You may think I would have given up hope. That because the well hasn't opened up in three years, that it probably never will. But I'm still hoping. Hoping that he is waiting on the other side and feels the same thing I do. That he remembers his vow to protect and our love will somehow connect us. I look up at the moon and wonder if, 500 hundred years in the past, he is too. So I offer a prayer up in the sky. That one day we will be together . That the portal will open once more and time will no longer be able to separate us. Ever again.
