SLASH BACKSLASH 2.0 CONTEST
Story Name: Beautiful Deceiver
Pen name: I_am_Kate
Pairing: Sam/Seth
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all characters. This is my entry for the Slash/Backslash 2.0 Contest.
Warning: This story is rated M for strong language, underage drinking, and adult themes. Don't read if you're underage. This is a slash story meaning it will involve the romantic relationship between two men. Also, Sam imprints on Seth while he is a minor, however, nothing happens between them until Seth is of legal age. If you are offended by any of this or uncomfortable with the nature of this story, please don't read. This story is NOT related to my "Imprint Saga." This is a one shot I did for a writing contest. Thank you to Project Team Beta for their help with this.
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Beautiful Deceiver
Sam's POV
The Elders told me we imprinted to make stronger wolves.
They were wrong.
As I found out the hard way, imprinting wasn't about procreating. It existed to connect a wolf with their soul mate…the person meant to make the wolf deliriously happy when everything else in their life goes to shit. I knew from firsthand experience that I could never impregnate my imprint, so that blew the Elders' theory right out of the water. You see, I imprinted on the one person I shouldn't have. I imprinted on my girlfriend's brother...Seth Clearwater.
It had been wrong of me to date Leah in the first place. As much as I loved her, I was never in love with her. I think a part of me always knew I was gay; I just never wanted to admit it.
Leah and I were together for over a year. We'd even slept together a few times. I never got much satisfaction from it. Fighting seemed to be an everyday occurrence for us. I lost count of how many times I wanted to break up with her when we were going out, but I just couldn't find it in me to do so.
It was shameless, but a huge draw for me was her family. I loved hanging out with the Clearwaters. I was raised by a single mother who had to work all the time to put food on the table, and being with Leah's family made me feel like a part of something special. I especially loved spending time with her brother, Seth. He seemed to hero-worship me and I lapped it up.
I was just shy of my twentieth birthday when I phased for the first time. It was a horrible, dark time for me. As I was the first wolf, I didn't know what had happened to me. I suffered alone in the woods for two endless weeks before I finally calmed down enough to phase back into my human form and go home. The Elders knew what was wrong with me as soon as they saw me. They told me that I was a shape-shifter as my ancestors were before me. They also mentioned something called imprinting. I didn't pay as close attention to that as I should have.
I was informed that other kids on the rez were going to change, too. It was only a matter of time, thanks in large part to a coven of bloodsuckers named the Cullens who lived in the area. The Elders said that I'd be the leader of the pack. My job was to help the other wolves adjust to their new roles when they eventually phased. As freaked out as I was, I accepted the responsibility I was given.
A month after I phased, I went over to the Clearwater house. It had been my first attempt to socialize since becoming a wolf. The Elders had recommended I stay away from people until I knew I could control myself.
As soon as I crossed the threshold of the house, I saw him. I took one look into Seth's warm toffee brown eyes and everything changed. He became the very center of my world. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't in love with him. Christ, he was way too young, barely fourteen. All I wanted was to be near him…to protect him and keep him safe.
Harry had known what had happened, of course. He was the one who'd told me with tears in his eyes that I'd imprinted on his son. He begged me to not tell Seth. Harry wanted his son to choose his own destiny. He asked that I wait and see if Seth wanted a relationship with me someday. He made me promise not to pursue him unless Seth approached me first.
Though it filled me with foreboding to do so, I agreed. I didn't know if Seth was gay or not. I certainly wasn't about to force anything on him. We are what our imprints need us to be. My only concern was to keep Seth happy. And as I only saw him as a kid anyway, not as a future love interest, it was only with slight reluctance that I gave Harry my word.
Later that night, Leah and I broke up. She'd been devastated, and I'd felt like shit. I had to live with the guilt that I not only broke her heart, but I also deceived her by not telling her the truth about my sexuality. How could I tell her that the person I was meant to be with was her little brother? What was worse though was that with our breakup, I couldn't spend anymore time with Seth. I had to settle for sleeping outside of his house at night in wolf form, listening to him breathe. I knew it was creepy and stalkerish, but I always felt uneasy unless I knew he was safe and being watched over.
A year after I imprinted, Harry died of a heart attack and Seth and Leah phased for the first time. Having Seth in my pack was like having all my dreams and nightmares come true all at once. Several other kids had already phased by that time, and I'd always been careful to hide any thoughts of my imprint away from them. But as soon as Seth phased, my guard had to go up even stronger, becoming an impenetrable fortress.
I was standoffish with him. I had to be. I couldn't reveal my bond to him. I knew he was hurt by my coldness, which only added to his already overwhelming grief over his father. It broke my heart to push him away. All I wanted to do was hold him close and take away his pain. But I couldn't give into what my imprint connection demanded of me. I had promised Harry that I would wait until Seth approached me and that's what I did. In return, I watched Seth go from a happy-go-lucky kid to a bitter and angry teen.
I sometimes wondered if he knew. There were times when I'd catch him staring at me with an intense expression on his face. The first time he saw me after he phased, his eyes had met mine and it was like looking into his soul. He must have read something on my face…something that made him nervous, because when Jacob Black decided to form his own pack, Seth had been the first to join.
Nothing had hurt me more. I was heartbroken. I was also scared shitless.
I was worried because Jacob imprinted on Edward Cullen's daughter, Renesmee, after leaving my pack. Seth was around filthy bloodsuckers all the time. All it would take was one bite from any of them and Seth would be dead. I was constantly on edge. The other pack members thought I was worried about Leah, who had also joined Jacob's pack. I let them believe that. No one ever guessed that I was suffering because of Seth.
As weeks turned into months though, I slowly relaxed. To my relief, the leeches left Seth alone. Rumor was that he had even befriended a few of them. Of course I had hoped that after some time Seth would come back to me, but he never did.
It was a depressing time for me. Though I'd always had to be on guard when he was in my pack, I ached for him when he wasn't there. Over the next year, I only saw Seth when he was either going to school or heading out somewhere with Jacob's gang. The only thing that could get me out of bed some mornings was the faint hope that I might get a glimpse of my imprint from a distance.
Around the time Seth turned sixteen, he shot up. Muscles that he never had before began to form making him look more rugged and mature. His face lost its youthful innocence, and I started catching peeks of the man he was becoming. And as Seth began to physically change, my feelings for him began to shift from protector to something more. I struggled with that. A part of me was eager to accept the changes in him, while another part wanted to hold onto the image of him as a youth…someone I could watch over and coddle. When Jacob called me up one day and asked me if our packs could get together for a bonfire at the cliffs, I immediately agreed. Which brought me to tonight.
I was running late. The Elders had wanted to meet with me before the bonfire, and as anxious as I was to get to the party, I couldn't not attend one of their meetings. As soon as I arrived at the cliffs, I looked around and instantly spotted Seth chatting with Quil and Embry. He threw his head back and laughed at something Quil was saying. The sound filled me with joy. As I walked towards him, he turned his head and made eye contact with me, his look sharp and assessing. He nodded at me before returning his attention back to his pack brothers. Feeling as though I'd been dismissed, I made my way over to the bonfire and sat down with a disgruntled grunt.
"Hey Sam," a feminine voice said next to me. I looked up and silently groaned as I saw Leah standing next to me with an eager expression on her face.
She dropped down beside me and began chatting inanely. She kept touching me as she talked, constantly brushing her hand against my arm. I felt nothing at her contact, no reaction at all except perhaps annoyance. After a while, I tuned her out and turned my attention back to my imprint.
I'd hoped that we'd get to spend some time together catching up. Instead, I watched with a sinking heart as he sat in a spot across from where I was sitting. Fuck! This night was turning into a huge disappointment.
I stared into the roaring fire, but my eyes didn't stay there for long. I peered across the way and was soon drawn to Seth's face. I watched, hypnotized, as the firelight danced across his features. I moved my gaze to his eyes and was startled to realize he was staring intently back at me.
I couldn't move. I felt trapped under the force of his stare. I watched in fascination as something blazed in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. Before I could analyze it any further, his face darkened as he looked over at his sister then back at me.
Getting up suddenly with his hands shaking, Seth took off down the beach where there were some kids his age. I kept my eyes on him for as long as I could, but different people kept coming up to talk to me and I soon lost track of him. When Seth didn't come back after a half hour, I got up to find him. I wasn't trying to be intrusive, but I didn't want this night to be a complete waste either. I was given the opportunity to be near my imprint and I was going to take advantage of that, dammit!
I followed the pull I always felt towards Seth and stumbled across a scene I knew would haunt me for years to come. I found him in the woods with some girl. He had her plastered against a tree, his pants around his ankles as he thrust into her. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, the scent of sex permeating the air.
Fury and pain filled me. Never had I felt so animalistic. I wanted to kill her for touching him. I wanted to kill Seth for betraying me. I felt out of control. More importantly, any remaining thoughts I had of seeing Seth as a boy shattered and I was unwillingly forced to acknowledge him as a man. And that pissed me off too. I wasn't ready for that stage in our imprint.
I couldn't look away from him though as my natural night vision caught glimpses of his glistening erection disappearing into her. I wanted it to be me that he was entering with such wanton abandon. The wolf inside me began to growl angrily. Seth looked up and saw me standing there. He didn't stop as he continued to plunge into the bitch over and over again.
"I want you," he panted, his voice rich with desire. His eyes never left mine, even as he groaned out, "God, I fucking want you so much."
I couldn't take anymore. I left the area, quickly phasing and running as far from the area as I could get. Never in my life had I ever experienced such an agonized maelstrom of emotion. It was ironic that I should realize I was in love with my imprint the same night I discovered him in the arms of a woman. I spent the rest of the night running, trying to figure out why the fuck I would imprint on someone I had no chance of being with.
It was a question I would ask myself frequently over the next two years. Seth continued to mature, growing into a man so beautiful he took my breath away every time I saw him. The girls on the rez flocked to him and much to my disappointment and abundant pain, he let them.
Then came the night I'd been dreading since I first imprinted. Seth was leaving for college. He was 18 and had the whole world ahead of him. I knew I should be happy for him, but I feared that once he left, I'd never see him again.
Sue decided to throw him a huge going away party which she went all out for. She hired a DJ and told me she was going to turn the backyard into a "club." I was one of the first people she invited. I wasn't sure how Seth would feel about that. Our relationship had become almost unbearable the past two years. He seemed to avoid me after I caught him with that girl, and whenever we were forced to be together, he went out of his way to ignore me.
By the time I arrived at the party, it was already in full swing. I was nervous and anxious, yet I still couldn't wait to see Seth. I walked into the Clearwaters' backyard and casually glanced around. Sue had outdone herself. Lights hung everywhere, shining brightly against the night sky. In one corner of the yard, a DJ was spinning hits. High school kids and pack members alike danced around him. There was one person who was noticeably absent.
I knew where Seth was though. I could feel the pull to him even miles away. I didn't want to seem too obvious, so I avoided looking in his direction for as long as I could. When I finally couldn't resist any longer, I glanced across the yard and let my eyes rest on my imprint. He was surrounded by five girls as well as a couple of guys from my pack…no fucking surprise there. He was too popular for his own good. He was drinking a beer—I was surprised Sue even let him have one—and looked like he didn't have a care in the world.
My breath hitched in my throat as I stared at him. He was wearing a light blue short sleeved polo shirt and khaki shorts. The combination brought out the russet color of his skin. He had grown out his inky black hair over the past year. It was now just past his ears. What I wouldn't give to be able to feel it with my fingertips.
"Hey Sam," a voice said. I looked over and saw Leah watching me expectantly. She had on a white dress that hung just past her knees. There was a gardenia holding back one side of her hair.
"Hey Leah," I replied. "You look nice."
"Thanks," she smiled softly at me. "Did you come here alone?"
"Yeah," I answered, looking back over at Seth. Though he was talking to one of the girls in his group, I had the feeling he was aware of my conversation with his sister.
I glanced back at Leah. "What about you? Did you come with anyone?"
Leah had retired from Jacob's pack a year ago. She was now living in Port Angeles and attending school there.
"Yeah," she answered happily, nodding in the direction of a tall African-American male speaking with Jacob in one corner of the yard. He was incredibly good-looking. I smiled wryly. Leah had good taste in men.
I turned my attention back to her. "I'm glad for you, Lee-Lee."
"Thanks," she said, before asking hesitantly, "Listen, would you mind going for a walk with me for a moment? I wanted to talk to you about something, but not with so many prying ears around."
I glanced around at all the pack members present. If there was something she wanted to say in private, even a quiet area of the yard wouldn't give us the seclusion she apparently wanted. My eyes drifted back to Seth again and found him staring back. He wasn't even trying to pretend to ignore me. He lifted up his beer bottle in mock salutation, but I noticed something flash dangerously in his eyes.
I didn't quite understand the mixed signals I was picking up from him. Tired of trying to figure him out, I nodded my head at Leah and we took off. We decided to head towards the cliffs. I glanced at her several times, wondering what she could possibly want to say, but she seemed lost in thought. Once we reached our destination, she turned to me.
"Sam, while I was in Jake's pack, I saw the effects his imprinting had on him. And when Quil joined the pack, I felt his devotion to his imprint as well." Leah frowned for a moment before she continued, "I want to ask you something."
"Okay," I replied nervously. I had a horrible feeling I knew where she was going with this.
"While I was in your pack, I always felt like there was something you were hiding. Sometimes I'd feel a powerful longing from you that you were always quick to bury deep inside. I don't think the others ever picked up on it, but I've always known you better than them. So I'm just going to come right out and ask. Did you imprint on someone while we were going out?"
"Yes," I confessed unsteadily.
Her eyes filled with tears and she spun away from me, walking until she stood on the edge of the cliff.
"Did you imprint on my brother?" she questioned, her back to me.
I didn't say anything, which caused Leah to turn and face me again. She read the guilty admittance on my face. Shaking her head in disbelief, she covered her mouth with her hand as she tried to stifle a sob.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Why didn't you say anything?" she cried.
"I promised your father," I responded lowly.
Leah looked back at the ocean, but not before I saw her discreetly wipe a tear from her face. "Were you always gay or did the imprint do that to you?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?" I asked gently, taking a step towards her.
"All these years…" she spoke in a broken tone. "All these years, I had hoped we'd get back together, and the whole time you were in love with my brother."
"No," I said, grabbing her shoulders and swiveling her around so that she was facing me again. "I swear to you, Leah. I didn't start falling in love with him until after he turned sixteen."
"Yeah, that's some fucking consolation," Leah spat sardonically. Glaring at me, she asked, "Are you going to tell Seth the truth?"
"He doesn't need to be tied down right now with this shit," I remarked in a raw tone. "Besides, I'm sure he'd be more than happy with someone else. Preferably someone with a vagina."
Leah shot me a withering look. "You're an idiot. You should tell him."
"Now's not the time," I replied resignedly.
She just shook her head. "What a deceiver you are, Sam. You'll have to tell him eventually."
"I know. Just…just not right now."
"Fine," Leah finally agreed much to my relief. "We should get back."
"Leah." I reached out and grabbed her hand. "I am sorry."
"I know," she returned with more grace than I deserved. "You can't help who you fall in love with."
We walked back to the party, holding hands. Leah immediately left my side once we entered the backyard so that she could return to her boyfriend. I looked around and found Seth dancing with some girl. His hands were all over her ass. Exhaustion and depression hit me simultaneously. Even tonight, I had to have it thrown in my face why Seth would never want me.
Sighing heavily, I grabbed a six pack of beer from the outside cooler and made my way to the beach. I just wanted to be alone. Luckily for me, there was no one around once I got there. I sat down on the pebbled sand and opened each can of beer before slamming them as quickly as I could. A mild buzz began to pervade my senses. I wondered how long it would last before my high body temperature burned it off. Throwing my head back, I stared up at the stars. I immediately became alert when I heard footsteps approaching me. Turning my head, I was taken aback to see Seth walking towards me.
"Hey," he said, looking unsure of himself. "Uh…mind if I join you? The party's getting a little too crowded."
"Sure," I said, pointing at the spot next to me with my hand, hoping he wouldn't hear the now erratic beating of my heart.
He sat down beside me and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs before staring up at the sky. I couldn't help but notice that he didn't leave much space between us.
"It's nice out," Seth remarked absently.
I leaned back and rested my hands against the sand. Glancing over at him, I found myself unable to look away from the masculine lines of his profile.
"Beautiful," I murmured with a longing I couldn't quite hide.
Seth's eyes met mine briefly before he looked away again.
"So what's going on between you and Leah?" he questioned innocently enough, but I didn't miss the tension in his body.
"Nothing," I assured him, my brow pulling into a frown.
"You two disappeared," Seth stated, turning his head to examine my face closely. "You left her boyfriend all by himself so that you could do whatever."
"It isn't what you think," I said, reaching out to touch his shoulder gently. Seth stiffened and I immediately jerked my hand away.
"Are you playing with Leah's emotions?" he asked tersely. "Because she's struggled enough to get over you."
"I wouldn't do that to her," I whispered. "Leah and I just needed to work some things out. That's all."
Seth observed me as I spoke and seemed satisfied with my answer because he finally removed his gaze to stare out at the water.
"Are you, uh, dating someone else then?" he wondered aloud as he shifted his focus back up to the star-filled sky above.
I felt my stomach knot painfully. I had been living like a monk since I imprinted. I didn't even have a single urge to look at anyone else while I waited patiently for Seth to grow up.
"No," I answered truthfully.
Seth nodded before reaching down and cupping some sand in his hand. I watched as each tiny pebble drifted between his long fingers.
"Sam…" Seth started to say tentatively before he paused.
"What?" I asked when he didn't continue.
His brows drew together and for a moment he looked tormented.
"Why did you push me away after my dad died?" he whispered. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Oh God, no," I replied instantly. I scooted over so that our sides were touching. Needing more physical contact with my imprint, I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. "Seth, it had nothing to do with you, I promise. I was just going through some stuff and I felt it best to remain distant. I swear to you though, it wasn't you."
"It's not you, it's me." Seth mocked the old cliché, looking down at the ground.
"It's true," I hurried to explain. I grabbed his chin and made him look at me. "Please believe me. I wouldn't hurt you for the world."
Looking suddenly drained, Seth curled his body into my side. Letting out a slight breath, he rested his head on my shoulder as though he didn't have the strength to hold it up anymore. I reached up and tucked a stray tendril of hair behind his ear. Before I could stop myself, I pressed my lips to his forehead. Seth jerked his head up and stared at me, his expression perplexed. I shifted under his unrelenting gaze and was about to offer an apology when he leaned in and lightly touched his mouth to mine. I inhaled sharply at the contact, my heart taking a perilous leap.
The kiss was slow, exploratory. His lips felt amazing; soft yet firm. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. Then the kiss deepened and everything changed.
My mouth started to truly caress his, demanding more. I couldn't get enough of him. My fingers reached up and tangled with his locks of hair. I held him to me as my tongue pushed past the barrier of his lips and dipped into the recesses of his mouth. He tasted like vanilla and strawberries…it was addicting. Seth's own tongue meshed with mine. I slowly moved backwards until my back was against the sand. Seth went with me so that he was lying on top of me.
My hands traveled from his hair, down his back, until they rested on his firm ass. I spread my legs wide so that Seth could settle between them. He felt amazing in my arms. I gripped him to me and shuddered as I felt his erection press hard against me through his shorts. My own arousal was now straining against my pants. I began rubbing myself against Seth, the friction creating a pleasurable pain.
I broke off our kiss and reached for the hem of Seth's shirt. I pulled it off his head and threw it to the side before discarding my own shirt. Seth resumed his former position causing us both to shiver as our naked chests made contact.
The dominant Alpha in me began to take over. I rolled us so that I was hovering over my imprint. I placed light kisses on his chin and jaw before moving to his ear. Licking the shell of it, I took the fleshy end and pulled on it with my teeth.
"Oh fuck, Sam," Seth muttered. His legs wrapped around my waist, trapping me to him.
I moved my mouth to his neck where I could feel his pulse pounding unevenly. I began to suck hard on the skin and heard an answering growl from deep within Seth. Moving my mouth, I continued on my journey, raining soft kisses down his neck and collar bone before making my way to his rock hard pecks. I flicked one of his nipples with my thumb, scraping my nail across it. I heard Seth curse in return. I bent my head and took the hard bud in my mouth, licking and sucking on it until Seth began to thrash underneath me. I moved to his other nipple and gave it the same treatment.
Seth couldn't take anymore. He rolled us so that I was on my back again. His lips crashed against my mouth, his tongue warring with mine. He started moving his lower half against me in wild abandon. I grabbed his hips, moving my hands to cup his ass once more so that I could control the rhythm and prolong the pleasure. Seth's arms went underneath me, bringing us into even closer contact. My one hand traveled to the back of his head while the other continued to grope his butt. Seth moved his lips from my mouth and began placing butterfly kisses under my chin before he started sucking hard on my Adam's apple.
Waves of pleasure began to assault me, but I knew I needed more. The hand that was resting on Seth's ass slipped underneath the waistband of his jeans. I gripped his bare cheek with my hand. He trembled slightly, but continued administering his kisses to my neck region. With slight trepidation, I slid a finger between his cheeks, finding the warm entrance I was seeking. I carefully ran my finger around it. Seth jerked up, though our lower halves never broke apart.
"Baby, is this okay?" I whispered, my finger still circling him.
He closed his eyes, but not before I saw the desire bursting in them. When he shakily nodded his head, I removed my hand. Seth's eyes flew open in confusion. I brought my hand to my mouth and licked my middle finger, coating it with my saliva. I could taste him on my skin. I didn't think it was possible, but I got even harder.
I moved my hand back to its spot between his cheeks and lightly began to play with his rim again. Seth began to thrust against me, his body melting into mine. I could feel his hardened erection pressing into me with each movement he made. I cautiously pressed my middle finger into his entrance. He momentarily froze.
"Let me know if you need me to stop," I rasped out.
Seth's breath became haggard as I pushed in even farther. I got past the first knuckle before I paused, waiting for him to adjust. I knew he was ready when his hips began to push back, pressing against my intruding finger. I continued on my path and didn't stop until my finger was buried in him. I paused so that he could get comfortable.
"Please," Seth begged after a short time and that was all I needed.
I began to move my finger up and down. Seth's body mimicked my actions. He continued to grind against me, meeting the movements of my finger pound for pound. Our mouths came together again in sweet reunion and didn't break away even as our breath became more labored as the feelings between us began to intensify.
Seth finally arched away from me and began to mutter, "Fuck…fuck…"
I knew he was getting close. I could feel him clenching around me. I could feel my own orgasm swiftly approaching as Seth continued to rub himself against me. Our pace became frenzied. It didn't take long for Seth's face to tauten. He yelled out as he reached his peak. I removed my hand carefully from his ass and rolled him onto his back. Licking his lips with my tongue, I thrust several more times against him before my own body convulsed and I exploded into a world of sweet ecstasy.
I collapsed against him, my body still shuddering. I lightly kissed any part of him I could reach in my tired state. I could feel the stickiness of my desire pooling uncomfortably in my pants, but I didn't care. If I died right then and there, I wouldn't have given a shit.
"Sam…get off me," Seth said, pushing against me. I gathered what energy I could and moved away from him. I looked at him in concern and felt my stomach twist painfully at the appalled look on his face.
"Seth?" I asked cautiously, reaching out to touch his stomach.
"Don't touch me," he stated contemptuously.
"Seth," I repeated, confusion filling me.
"I can't believe we just did that. On a public beach, no less. Anyone could have seen us."
"Baby-"
"I'm not your fucking baby," Seth snapped, standing up. "Jesus, I can't believe I let you touch me. You're nothing but a fucking faggot."
I had never told anyone I was gay before. To hear that term come out of the mouth of my own imprint drove me over the edge. I got up and slammed my fist hard against Seth's face. He flew back under the force and fell on his ass. He looked up at me with startled eyes.
"Fuck you, Seth. You were the one that kissed me, remember?" I reminded him, my hands clenched by my sides.
"I didn't think you'd take it that far," he yelled back, getting up to his feet.
"You were with me. Every step of the way," I countered.
"I'm not gay!" Seth yelled at me. "I want to get married and have kids. I want to pass on the Clearwater name…my dad's name. I can't do that with you."
Every word was like a stab to my now bleeding heart. I knew I couldn't give him what he wanted. All I could give him was my love and he clearly didn't want that.
"You know what, then, Seth?" I told him bitterly. "Go off to college, get some girl knocked up, and enjoy your life."
I turned and walked away, not looking back as I made my way to the nearby woods. I didn't bother removing my clothes as I phased and started running. My thoughts were a turbulent mess. It was bad timing that one of the guys in my pack, Jared, phased right in that moment.
Hey Sam, I felt someone phase. What's going-
He paused as he read every emotion and thought I was currently feeling. My emotions were too out of control to hide everything and Jared got a full show of what just took place between Seth and I.
Oh… Jared said, completely stumped. I…uh…I'll give you a minute.
Jared, wait. I stopped him from phasing back. Tell Jacob to take over my pack. I'm not coming back for awhile. And when I do, I'm retiring.
Sure, Sam, Jared replied in understanding sympathy. It made me angry. I didn't want pity. I just wanted be left alone. I felt him quietly phase out and I continued to run.
I stayed in wolf form for about a month, living off the land when I needed to. By the time I made my way back to La Push, Seth was long gone. I fell into a deep despair when I realized he hadn't waited for me. I naively hoped he'd be there when I got back.
Daily life became a struggle for me. It was bad enough that things had ended so poorly between me and my imprint, but now I didn't know if I'd ever even see him again. I could barely function from that knowledge. Surprisingly, the pack came together and got me through it. Jared hadn't been able to hide from the other wolves what he'd witnessed in my head that night. They all knew that I'd been rejected by my imprint. And like any true family, they supported me.
Ironically, Leah became my biggest champion. What it was about girls wanting to befriend gay men, I'd never know, but she was the one who came over and bullied me into eating and showering. After awhile, I made myself go out and resume my life. Without the pack responsibilities, I was able to get a full time construction job. I made good money and began taking better care of myself.
I also slowly began to move on with my life. I knew what Seth was up to over the next few years thanks to Leah and that helped. He never returned to the rez the entire time he attended college. Leah claimed her brother was an idiot and I silently agreed. I pushed Seth to the back of my mind as much as I could, but it wasn't easy. He was my imprint after all. So many times I felt like I was merely coasting through life instead of living it because of him. His absence was always there, taunting me.
While Seth attended school, Leah began pressuring me to date. She was always trying to set me up with some guy she knew, but I wasn't interested. I knew Seth was it for me.
Of course, that all changed when Leah reluctantly told me one day that Seth had gotten a girl he was dating pregnant. It should have broken me, but I just smiled cynically when I heard the news. Seth had taken my throwaway remark on the beach literally. He knocked up some girl and now he was going to be able to pass on the precious Clearwater name he was so worried about preserving.
Five years after I last saw Seth, I received news that he was returning home. Apparently, he and his girlfriend had split up and he had taken full custody of their daughter. I didn't even react when I heard the news. Like Seth, I hadn't waited. I was dating a guy named Eric that Leah had set me up with.
Did I love him? No. But the relationship at least gave me some sexual release.
I knew the day Seth actually came back to town. I felt the pull of my imprint strengthen for the first time in years. As much as I wanted to, I didn't go looking for him. Too much shit had gone on between us, and even now I couldn't quite forgive him for the harsh words he had thrown at me the last time I saw him.
Yet, there was a part of me that was hopeful he'd seek me out. I figured if he found me, I would take it as a sign that he was finally ready to be with me. But as day drifted into day without a sign of him, the hope I'd been holding onto shriveled up and died. Seth obviously didn't want me and I just needed to accept that.
Two weeks after he returned, I decided to get on my motorcycle and drive to Forks to see Eric. As I drove past the reservation grocery store, I saw Sue Clearwater walk out, carrying a bag of food. She turned around to say something to someone.
That was when I saw him. Seth was carrying a brown paper bag in one arm and holding his one-year-old daughter in the other. His head turned in my direction as I rumbled by and I saw him freeze, his eyes wide as he took me in. Finally, he slowly nodded his head at me. I nodded in return and continued on my drive.
We are what our imprints need us to be. If Seth wanted me, he knew where to find me. If that ever happened, I'd tell him of our connection.
But not until then.
Seth had managed to fool everyone, including himself. He wanted to pretend that he hadn't felt something for me that night on the beach. If that's what he needed to believe, then I'd let him.
I glanced at him briefly in the reflection of my side mirror and felt a tug on my heart as I stared at his stunning features. I forced myself to turn my attention back on the road in front of me.
My Seth was truly beautiful…a beautiful deceiver.
The End
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Let me know what you thought. PLEASE REVIEW! And thank you to everyone who has left me feedback so far and who've put this story on alert. I may be extending this story down the road if there is interest. ;)
If you want to read the original ending I had planned, I posted it in my forum. The link is on my profile page.
Also, this story recently won the Slash Awards - Best Wolf. Thank you so much to everyone who voted!
