She arrived at his door, welcomed by the sound of angry shouting.
"NO! GET AWAY! THEY'RE COMING! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Then his voice, frantic, "MOM! Please stop, it's okay, it's-"
Spencer's pleading was cut short as a loud crash sounded through the door, followed by the chime of breaking glass. JJ jumped at the sound, and she knew that she'd been right to worry. Her first impulse was to draw her weapon and blast the lock off the door, but instead she pulled her keys from her pocket and hastily fumbled through them. Finding his key, she pushed it into the lock as she heard a heavy thud against the door. She tried to shoulder the door open, but something was in the way. JJ gathered her strength and shoved against the door with all her might.
It flew open just in time for her to see Diana Reid throw a heavy antique vase at Spencer's head. He caught it deftly and turned to set it down, and as the distraught woman charged at her son, JJ yelled "FREEZE!", instinct kicking in.
Spencer glanced at her, then back at his mother, breathing hard. JJ's interruption had given him the break he needed and he said in a rush "Look, mom. You have a visitor... JJ's come to visit, you remember JJ don't you?"
Diana stopped her run at Spencer, looking over her shoulder at JJ. Her face crumpled, a tapestry of confusion.
"Of course... yes." As the fear and anger drained from her eyes, Spencer could see that she was exhausted, breathing rapidly from her exertion, and she put one hand behind her to steady herself against the sofa, her other hand clutching her pink velour robe closed at her throat.
JJ took in the scene and quickly noticed Spencer was bleeding from a cut on his head, how he'd gotten that wasn't hard to figure out. There was broken glass on the floor and the two of the dining room chairs were overturned. It had been a week since he had returned, bringing his mother to live with him, a defiant choice he had made, against everyone's advice, when he had observed the state she was in in Houston. Was this Spence's new normal now? JJ blinked and got moving, speaking softly as she approached Diana.
"Mrs. Reid? Hi, it's very good to see you again. Would you like to sit down while we talk?" JJ moved to lightly touch Diana's arm, who then let herself be led around to sit on the couch. Spencer saw the crisis was over for the moment, and hurried to pick up the shards of broken glass littering the floor. He cut himself as he picked up one of the jagged pieces and just shook his head. What was he going to do?
JJ caught Diana's interest by talking to her about a book that Henry didn't seem to be able to put down these days, and the older woman's eyes grew soft as she expounded on the importance of young readers, and how her son had started reading at just over a year old, and how she had known right then that he was special. JJ smiled, and held Diana's hand, stealing glances at Spencer every so often. Spencer caught her eye, mouthed "thank you", and then, "I'm sorry." JJ shook her head, the briefest of movements to let him know it was alright, that he had nothing to be sorry for.
"I need to rest now," Diana announced. Spencer dumped the last few shards into the trash and said "Okay mom, here, let me help you."
She noticed his injury and said "Oh Spencer, did you bump into something again?"
"It's nothing, just a scratch," he replied, his voice low and soothing as he led her to her room.
He closed the door quietly and leaned against it, closing his eyes for just a second. He opened them and found vivid blue eyes searching his.
She took his hand without a word, leading him to the bathroom. She knew this apartment as well as she knew her own home, so as he leaned against the sink, she found a washcloth and began cleaning his head wound, getting most of the blood off. They locked eyes then, and she sighed.
"JJ, I wish you hadn't seen that..." he began.
"Spence, has this been happening the whole time? Every day?"
He broke eye contact and looked down, nodding.
She threw down the cloth, angry.
"But she's been having incredibly clear lucid periods, too. It isn't all... that." He gestured to the other room. We've had some really strong moments, breakthroughs, where we communicate, share memories, laugh, and then..."
"...and then." JJ finished.
"Yeah. But I'm still convinced I'm doing the right thing."
JJ's heart ached for him, this man, her dear darling friend who always tried to do the right thing. Whose heart was so big, that even though he intellectually understood it was a pipe dream, wanted to believe that love alone could fix his mother, could make her come back to him. That and the right combination of 'mystery meds' that only he could discover. JJ could see that in his desperation he'd become reckless... but she didn't know to what extent.
For now, for this moment, she was here. She wouldn't let him feel defeated, she would... just let him talk until there were no words left, until he was spent.
He lifted his head and she looked into his warm, hazel eyes once again. He tilted his head to the side, his gaze never leaving hers, and let the corners of his mouth lift in the smallest of smiles. Moments like these were what he lived for. She was here, with him, concerned about him, caring... loving.
She raised a hand to his bruised face, and allowed her thumb to stroke his cheekbone. He closed his eyes and leaned in as he felt her arms surround him. He took her in his arms in return and held on tight, enveloping her, burying his face in her shoulder as she whispered, "It'll be okay, Spence. I'm here, I'll always be."
He felt his despair lift as he held her, felt it lighten and abate, and he allowed himself the rare comfort of her presence, of her physical contact, of her love. Of their kind of love. Whatever it was to them, both knew that they had it with no other. That it was unique to the two of them, entirely, and that it was precious to them both.
So she stayed. She helped him clean up some, and organize. They got to chatting about Henry and Michael, and it just seemed right, and normal. That last part was especially meaningful to Spencer. He hadn't seen or heard 'normal' in weeks. Leave it to JJ to make him feel human again.
He knew there was a long road ahead. Maybe there wasn't anything he could do for his mother, except be there for her. Maybe all he could do for her, was to make her feel human again. He was damned sure going to try.
