Never Be
By: Rai-channi
AN:/ I feel horrid, I promised that the new chapter of Innocence would be out shortly, but I find myself with a case of all these ideas bouncing around in my head but none could fit into the story. Ugh, it's a horrible feeling, so I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe if I get all of these ideas out of my head, I'll be able to focus once more.
Warning: SLASH, mentions of cheating, sex, BW/HP, BW/FD, HP/GW. Angsty
…..
"Bill, please more…"
Bill honestly didn't know how it happened, one moment he was proposing to the most beautiful woman in the world, Fleur Delacour, who he was surely madly in love with, and the next all he could dream about were messy black locks and bright green eyes. This was wrong, very wrong, but right, oh so amazingly right. It felt so right to hold Harry, to whisper into his ear and leave marks on his body. After their encounters though, it was wrong, there was always the telltale regret and the secret promises to never touch the boy who he was supposed to view as his little brother. The boy was after all, ten years younger than himself, the best friend of his youngest brother, and the love of his sister's life. However, he would keep going back to his room for more, because being with Fleur didn't feel the same. It felt empty, forced.
"Oh God, Bill, do that again."
Bill wasn't even sure he was gay, he never fancied any bloke before, he only wanted Harry. Harry drove him crazy, he wanted to just hold him and never let him go. Had he even ever loved Fleur? He guessed so, he never would've proposed if he hadn't loved her, but somehow this boy, this sixteen year old boy managed to capture him in a way he didn't think was ever possible. His heart ached at the thought of ever losing him. He glanced at Fleur who clutched the sheets around her naked body turned to him and kissed him, whispering words of love; it killed Bill that he could never return them sincerely.
"I'm fine, Bill, honest, you should worry about George."
Bill didn't like that Harry was moving farther away from him, and the fact that he had just faced Voldemort again made him pale and almost literally tremble in fear. He wanted to protect Harry, but by the way Harry kept pushing him away he wouldn't be able to accomplish that. He needed to protect Harry; he was more in love with him now than ever before. He reached for Harry's arm, only to have him pull away and wander back into the house.
"Bill, you're getting married, to Fleur, who's a lovely girl! We were both foolish to ever think that this could last forever."
Bill stood at the end of the aisle, awaiting his bride, and as she came down the aisle, she was truly breathtaking, upon her head a silver tiara was adorned and she smiled shyly at him, he smiled back at the woman he was to take as his forever, for better or for worse. However as he leaned in to kiss her, he could only see Harry's face. Later on the wedding was attacked, and afterward he called for Harry, and was devastated to find that he was gone.
….….….….….….… ….….
"Harry, please don't do this to me."
Harry knew that he would have to do this, he spent weeks contemplating how to exactly word it. He loved Bill, with all of his heart he did, but what he had said to Bill was true. It never would've worked, people would've been heartbroken. With Fleur, Bill had life, children, family, normality, where did Harry fit in; he was just a piece that wouldn't fit. The day the final battle came and he saw Bill fighting along side his beautiful wife. Harry smiled, they made a perfect picture together, side by side each looking just as fierce as they defended their future together. A future that he knew he would have absolutely no part of, as he snuck into the forest knowing that he- the last Horcux- must die.
….….….….….….… ….….
Bill stared at Harry who just smiled at him sadly and shook his head, and Bill knew then that no matter how much they loved each other, how much they wanted each other…
"Bill it can just never be."
A few years later he watched as Ginny was led down the aisle, truly a sight to behold in her traditional gown. Harry waited for his bride and Bill thought that maybe Harry sent a longing glance his way, but it was probably imagination. And as Harry leaned in to kiss Ginny, Bill could almost make out Harry gently wording his name. The celebration was fabulous and Bill could see the same forced mask of happiness that only he could recognize because he wore it everyday.
Later Victoire would be born, and Bill would honestly be able to say that he was perfectly content with his life; however, he knew that he would never be complete without Harry by his side.
When James Sirius was born, Harry was ecstatic, but he couldn't help but wish that there was a different tall, red-head gently hushing their child to sleep.
….….….….….….… ….….
Ugh, when will the crap end? –pout-
Ah well, hoped you enjoyed it regardless.
-Rai-channi
