Out of all of the things you thought yourself capable of, you figured this would be the top tier, the easiest thing for you to do, the simplest of decision-making.

You didn't expect her to actually want to runaway. You didn't expect her to want to flee the scene, hide from the inevitable end that she herself had carved out.

You didn't expect to have to be the one to tell her no.

"Carm, let's runaway, just you and me, like you said. We can invade hotels and look at every last part of the continents while holding each other's hand." Laura had said to you in a rushed whisper. She was breaking down; she was finally realizing that the plate she had fixed herself with was mountainous. The grief she felt was too large to swallow.

You looked up at her with sad eyes; a punch to your gut would have shocked you less than this. You didn't want to have to tell her no. You didn't want to have to reject her again, but you knew deep down that this wasn't her. This was you.

"No."

"What do you mean no? Come on, just drag your heavy bag out of the closet, and we can leave before anyone notices." Laura said, confused.

You sat up on the couch, passing a hand through your hair, "I mean no, Laura. This isn't like you to want to runaway from your troubles."

"Who are you to say what is and isn't me?" Laura snapped.

"Someone who loves you," You said, "Although sometimes I wish that wasn't the case."

"And why's that?"

"Because then it would be easier to tell you no. To tell you that being scared isn't an excuse to leave all of your friends behind." You said with a sigh, leaning back against the arm of the couch.

Laura stayed silent, her arms wrapped around her torso. You didn't think it was possible for her to look any smaller than she already did, but present you would have to prove past you wrong at a different time, because even if Laura didn't want the possessiveness that you craved, she was still yours. She had been yours since she was assigned to you all those months ago. And she would be yours until the day she walked out of your life for good.

"You're not a runner," You said, sitting up, "You're not a coward," you stood to your feet, "You're not me."

"Carm, you don't give yourself enough credit."

"And you never give me a chance to talk." You clipped out, reaching to unfold Laura's arms from around herself. "You're scared Laura, that's it. Believe me, I would know."

"You don't act scared."

"That's because I'm too busy trying to keep you from feeling what I feel, but I guess I fucked that up too."

"Carm-"

You cut her off, "I'm serious, let me talk." You watched as you let go of her arms, feeling the burn in your palms as the air hit them. "Laura, you've always been so stubborn, so invigorating. You need to stay that way, too many people are looking to you to find answers," You searched her eyes, finding surrender, "Including me."

Laura gapped, looking up at you before shaking her head, "You're right, this was stupid, I wouldn't have made it out of Styria even if you did say yes."

You smiled lightly, knowing that it wasn't appropriate for you to hold her tonight, and not any night in the near future. "Well, somebody's gotta save the school, and I've already met my quota for saving humans this century."

Laura returned your smile, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek, "Goodnight, Carmilla."

"Goodnight." You whispered to her receding back, fighting the urge to press your fingers to your cheek. You were getting real tired of this hero shit.