Disclaimer: I don't own anything that was created by J. K. Rowling.

Authors Note: I love Tonks/Remus, though I think that I only have ever written one or two, I don't remember anymore. Any who, the reason that I am writing this is because I think it would make a good story because it's about Remus' love life. Story takes place in various stages of life.

Summary: Remus has had several relationships in his life, and there was always one constant in his relationships. They never worked out. Is he doomed for this constant to remain thus?

Constant

Part I: Of Pride

Remus stared at Raven Croft. Like him she was a Griffindor 7th year and a pureblood, the only difference was the fact that she came from a wealthy family that seemed to like to look down on others, not for their pureblood line, but because of their immense wealth. But Remus didn't care, he loved Raven. From her black hair, to her black eyes, to her beautiful smile, to the way that she wrote her name, to the way that she said his name. Even though she wouldn't ever say his name, but he hoped that she would.

She was best friends with Lily, Remus didn't know how exactly that had happened, but he knew that it was the greatest thing to happen to him. If it weren't for Lily he would have never been able to spend any time with her, however, it didn't much matter for she never realized that he was around, just as she never noticed Peter Pettigrew. Of course, she did know James and Sirius and she would speak to them.

Remus understood why she ignored him. She was very proud and it was the way that she was brought up. Of course she didn't deny the fact that he was brilliant, and that was the only reason that she agreed to meet him in private, so that he would tutor her in Defense. Of course she didn't want anyone to know of it and he obliged to her request all too willingly and noticed that behind closed doors she was quite nice.

But he still thought that she was cruel, for she knew very well the way that he felt her and she simply liked to use him. When they were alone in private she was sweet, charming. She was all smiles and sweet laughter. She touched him lightly on his arm, which sent his heart twittering into his brain so that he couldn't think straight, and she would toss her hair in an enticing way. Yet whenever they were in public she tried her best to ignore him, or she ridiculed him and was quite mean.

He had a feeling that she really did like him, for when they were in class and no one was looking, he would often catch her gaze lingering on him. Or if he was ever talking to another girl, she would purposefully walk by while running a hand through her hair and chewing on her lower lip, which always made his mouth water. He guessed that the reason that she acted like she didn't like him was simply her pride that would not allow her to love him. After all, he was economically less than her.

But everyone knew what he felt for her, and of course people of Slytherin did not approve of his feelings as really Raven should have been one of them. Or at least that was the way that they saw it, but Remus believed that he could make her so much happier then anyone in Slytherin could make her. Sure they had money, and nice manors and many nice things, but material possessions wouldn't make her happy for very long. He knew that she wasn't materialistic, for whenever she gave Lily gifts for Christmas, they weren't expensive or luxurious but something very personal that showed that she knew Lily well.

He knew that money wouldn't make her happy and he knew that no one in Slytherin could make her happy the way that he could. After all no one in Slytherin knew that her hair smelled of country apples from orchards. No one in Slytherin knew that her favorite subject was Care of Magical Creature because she was a big animal lover. No one in Slytherin knew that her favorite ice-cream was cookie dough, or that her favorite book was Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, or that she used a different quill for ever day of the week. No one knew that she'd once broken her wrist, falling from a tree in her backyard when she was four. No one knew that she kept her favorite teddy bear in her trunk. No one knew that she was a rape victim. NO one knew, except for him and no one could love her the way that he did.

He wished that she could just understand and accept him. He knew that a part of her wanted to, but it was her damn pride that would simply not allow her. He wished that she would understand that she needed to let go or her pride, for it would never do her any good and that all that was doing was make her push away true love. And all for what? People who wouldn't even remember her in twenty years? People whom she wouldn't even care about in twenty years?

He was her toy, he'd realized that quite sometime ago, but he didn't care because he loved her. He knew that he loved her so much that he would even die for her. He'd do whatever she asked him to, would do her bidding like the puppy in love that he was. He was her puppet and she was the puppet master. She pulled on his strings craftily, made him do whatever it was that she wanted to do, and from above she giggled with her Slytherin friends.

James and Sirius had already told him that he was a fool and that he should just give up, that she was only playing with his feelings and would just break his heart. They told him the best thing to do would be as soon as the year came to a close to get as far away from her as was possible, to forget that he loved her and had wasted so much time and effort. But he didn't want to give up just yet.

But he couldn't deny that he wasn't getting tired of her games. He just wanted her to make up her mind and make the right decision. Lily had noted this and spoken to Raven, but Lily said that Raven had only laughed.

After that his hopes plummeted even further. He didn't know why life was so cruel to him. He didn't understand why the only girl that he had ever fallen in love with was so impossible to make happy. He always paid very close attention to everything she did, and it was like she didn't even notice him. He'd even written a letter to her and had not received anything back.

"Hey Remus," Remus looked up and stared at Selma Donovan, a cute girl in their year with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was a Pureblood as well and she was one of the girls that Raven thought that she had to prove herself to, even though it was so evident to everyone that Selma liked Remus. "Staring at Raven again?" she asked as she stared down at him.

"Umm… do you know if she got the letter that I sent to her?" he asked as he looked up at her. He thought that perhaps she hadn't received his letter and it was the reason that she had not responded to him.

"Letter? Oh! That … yeah she received it fine. She just through it away," Selma said as she looked at Remus. Remus furrowed his brow and stood up and marched across the common room.

"Why haven't you written back to me?" Remus asked as he stared down at Raven. Raven looked up from the book that she was reading in the Griffindor common room. For a second she looked up at Remus and looked away, as if she didn't know that he was talking to her even though he was staring directly down at her. She slowly turned her attention back to him.

"It required a response?" she asked as she stared up into his eyes.

"Yes! It was a three page letter spilling out everything that I had to say and you couldn't come up with a response to the four word question at the end? It was a simple question, a simply yes or no would have sufficed," Remus said as he stared down into her eyes, he was slightly flustered. She stared up at him blankly. "You know what, I give up! I'm tossing in the towel. Would you like me to crown you now and tell you what you have won? Your prize is eternal loneliness," he said calmly as he looked at her before turning away and marching away, no at all bothering to see her expression.

TBC…