A/N: Uh yeah so reading through some Remus/Sirius Pre-Voldy's Downfall, where Sirius and Remus each became distrustful of each other, and this is my take on it and their previous relationship – enjoy :)

Spy, Traitor, Death Eater

Chapter 1 – Is this your revenge? (Sirius POV)

I know I did wrong. After we started dating in sixth year, I betrayed you in a way we all thought we never could.

Christmas, we got together. By Easter, you wouldn't even look at me.

I told Snape how to get past the Willow.

And by doing so, I not only broke your heart, but mine as well.

I was selfish, I know. But in my fucked-up mind, I was protecting you.

It broke my heart. To see you working yourself to the bone, quietly miserable.

James and Peter had stopped talking to me, so I didn't have the Map or the Cloak. But I didn't need them. You were always in the library.

With James and Lily.

I think the only slight good thing of our separation was those two. Finally - Only took them near seven years.

By the next year they were together, yet we still weren't.

By seventh year, you could only just look at me. But for the few seconds you did, I could see the hurt, that deep, soul-crushing hurt. Laced with unforgivable anger.

By that Christmas we were speaking. It wasn't enough for me, but I was just happy to be able to hear you say my name.

We both went to our respective homes that Christmas, unable to bear the memories.

Lily, Sweet Lily, in the hopes of getting us back together had stuck enchanted mistletoe over our heads – do you remember? You destroyed it with fire and didn't speak to Lily for the rest of the week.

It would have been our anniversary on Christmas Eve. But instead, when the list for those going home went up in the common room, your name was first on the list. You left back to Abergavenny in Wales. I went with James and Lily back to the Potter's in Bath.

We were so near. Yet so far apart.

On the train ride to London, you didn't sit with any of us. You instead sat with some Ravenclaws. Near that "guy" called Cabot, I think. Tim Cabot. By the time we had reached London, I wanted to haul him onto the platform and slug him.

He was flirting with you. Did you even notice?

By the time we were back at school, you seemed a changed person. You talked and smiled with us. Smiled! You even smiled at me!

By our N.E., the Marauders were back and better than ever! Our only rift was your meetings with Cabot and that Hufflepuff, McLaggen or something-or-other.

Lily and James were obviously going to live together. Lily was in training to be a Healer! Can you remember her reaction when she found out that James was going to be an Auror though? I bet you can't. With me, you raged on and on about how it was too dangerous.

I thought, mistakenly, that you were jealous. I was wrong. You were worried for me.

I thought you were jealous that I had it all practically. Training for the dream job, money, a home. Everything I could ever want. That you could ever want.

Your parents died in an attack by Greyback and my lovely cousin Bellatrix. They left you barely two knuts to rub together. They had spent their massive fortune on trying to find a cure. They didn't.

Though you did get the old Lupin Manor, you left it, trying to get a job in "Old London Town". You couldn't. And while you were looking you needed a home.

You must be wondering why I can remember all this.

I found my journal last night. That one you gave to me, the day we got together.

It ended when you moved in.

A/N: Yes, No, Maybe so? Once again, a fic written within an hour. Yet another O.o story by me. But I'm happy enough to post it. Oh yeah you might notice like near zilch mentionings of Peter. I'm just leaving him to do whatever the hell he likes.
But this won't continue without reviews (not subtle blackmail at
all), though I do have ideas on how to continue this. So yeah Review if you liked it! Go on, click the tab! :P