"Questions Without Answers"

By darthelwig


***I own nothing. I'm only having fun. ***


She doesn't understand.

No matter how much thought she puts into it, and there is plenty of time for thought here in her prison cell, she cannot understand the why.

Why do people hate her? Why do they fear her without knowing her at all? Do the people around her not understand how much harder it is to control her powers when their fears about her losing control are projected onto her? Can they not understand that they create this self fulfilling prophecy?

She has always had some semblance of control. One time where she lost herself in her grief and lost all control. One time. And now they consider her unstable.

Or perhaps they use that as a convenient excuse, so they don't have to admit that the real reason she scares them so badly is that she can invade their minds. She thinks that's most likely. She knows how painful it was for her teammates when she used her powers on them before. How could she not? She is the one who sent them into their nightmares.

It doesn't matter that she would never do that to her friends or allies. It doesn't matter that she is part of the team. It doesn't matter that she hasn't used that particular talent since Ultron. They will never trust her not to do it again.

She thought she was being given a chance to redeem herself, but she has seen no such chances given in the hearts of the people around her. How can the world be expected to accept her when her own teammates cannot?

She was Hydra's weapon. She was Ultron's tool. What is she to the Avengers? She doesn't know. Not a friend, certainly. Not one of them, not really.

Her intentions are never to cause pain, not since facing the Avengers in battle. Her goals were to save her people and to avenge her parents. Well, her parents cannot be avenged, her country is decimated, and she lost her brother in her stubborn madness. Lesson learned.

She wants only to help. To make people safe. She has left the anger of her past behind, but no one will acknowledge that. They do not allow her personal growth. Is it because they have so little of their own? She doesn't know. It hurts, though. It hurts.

She wanted to help in Lagos. She wanted to save her Captain, and save those people, and she failed. Not because she lost control of her powers, but because she wasn't strong enough in her powers. She needs to be stronger. She would have been able to contain the explosion if she had just been stronger. But no one wants to see her stronger. They want her weak and able to be controlled. They fear what she can do. They fear her.

Is her heart so black to them? Is she so bad? Why let her become an Avenger if that is so? Why not just lock her up to begin with, as some people wanted to do? Why give her hope, only to crush it? She doesn't understand. It is not in her nature to understand this.

She is hurt, and she is angry, and she wishes her brother were here to hold her and love her. All she wanted was a place in the world, a home to replace what she lost. A family to help fill the hole Pietro left behind.

They lied. They are not her family. They will never be able to offer that acceptance to her, and she doesn't understand.