This is my first fan fiction so I hope its good enough.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of the characters.

Chapter 1 / Therapy

It was towards the end of a long day at the precinct and Kate had to cut it short for therapy. Therapy was always the hardest part of the week for her. These sessions weren't set in stone but she started making an even bigger effort to go because she really wanted to get better. Being there always felt like deja vu. Like she should have been healed years ago. Even though it was hard for her to talk about her emotions and past, it was getting harder to keep it bottled up. She needed to work through her moms murder, the gun shot, and her crappy relationships. She really wanted to have that ideal relationship with Castle. She didn't want to screw up this relationship like she screwed up all her other relationships. Trust was always an issue for her. People always tend to leave her when she needed them most and in response she has learned to leave people before she could need them and before they could leave her. Castle had once accused her of having one foot in and one foot out of the door. She knew deep down that he was right but she still hated to admit it. Damn him. They had already covered most of her moms murder, how she felt then and how she always feels like she is letting her mom down by letting the case remain cold. She knew her moms murder would always be the constant issue and the underlying factor to most of her issues.

"How was your relationship with your dad when your mom died?"

She sat there staring at her patient therapist as many thoughts flooded through her minded. What does this have to do with anything? She took a deep breathe. Where does she begin? How to express herself... Her dad? ugh.

"My dad? Well, we were never really on the same page growing up especially when I was a teenager. I was like a wild child. I just wanted to have fun. My dad blew a fit when I started dating and bought the Harley, but my mom was always able to calm him down. When she died." She looked down at her hands, started playing with her watch and then looked towards the window taking in the blurry cars driving by. She felt the tears well up in the corner of her eyes. She choked them back, rolled her eyes, forced herself back to the therapist and continued, "My dad didn't take her death well. He wouldn't look at me, I think I reminded him too much of my mom and... He started drinking. He would get so drunk that he even stopped going to work. After school I would find him just sitting in front of the television. Sometimes he wasn't even watching the T.V, instead I would find him staring into space or just passed out. I needed his attention or someone to talk to. I know that now but then I was just falling to pieces. I started dating this guy who was a junior in college and when I brought him home my dad made a big commotion over it. That is when I knew that this was the only way to get my dads attention. Even if it was him yelling at me. I liked feeling his anger towards me because at least he was talking to me. I knew what annoyed him and started doing more outlandish things, but the more things I did the less he started to care, the more he drank, and I found myself crying myself to sleep more often. Some nights I didn't want to go home so I would sleep over at a friends house. My dad didn't even realize." she sad sadly.

He could tell that this still stung her. Yes, she was upset with her mothers murder, but the pain in her voice showed that she was even more upset with how hard her dad took it and how far it went. She has learned to bottle up her feelings because she never felt that anyone wanted to listen to her problems and she never had anyone she could really speak to.

With a little bit of disgust she said, "at that moment in my life I learned that no one will ever be there for ME, not my dad, not my mom(she's gone), not even my friends. They all had their our own shit to deal with. They were just there for the light problems like college boyfriends and for the fun. "Shit, did she just say all of this out loud? How does he get her to talk so much? He was very silent just giving her the stare down. She needed to fill that silence! She rubbed her eyes in frustration oh, those days were so bad!

"When college was about to start I realized that my dad can't be living like this, I can't live like this. We had a long painful talk and we both came to the realization that my mom would not like what has become of us," She placed a bittersweet smile on her face and continued. " We both picked up our acts. I stopped doing whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I felt like it and my dad was checked into rehab. I would visit him on the weekends and his moods were definitely not easy to deal with but I knew I had to care for him. We got pretty close over that year and ever since we call each other every week just to touch base."

"This week I want you to let someone do something to help you. It doesn't even have to be something big."

"Does castle getting me coffee count?" she said with a smirk on her face.

A knowing smile appeared on his face and he said, "I want it to be something not work related if possible."

Kate finally got home exhausted from the emotional roller coaster she just went through. She jumped in the shower and let it wash away her dried tears. she could already feel some of the weight being lifted from her shoulders. She grabbed her towel and went to grab a glass of wine. She watched the rich red wine as it filled the cup, but just as she was about to take a sip her cell rang. A groan escaped her lips and she answered her phone "Beckett! K, I' ll be there in 10." Damn, just when she thought she would be able to resign to her bed there has been a murder. She blew her hair dry and grabbed a blue sweater and jeans.

Kate knew that Castle was probably already in bed but she had promised to call him for any murder at any time. Beckett hit the speed dial as she walked to the side of her crown vic. She smiled when Castle's voice came on the line and quickly informed him of the place the body was found. She got in her car and headed for the park.

Just as she pulled up to the park she saw the Javier and Lanie were already there. She was hoping that at this late hour they would be civil towards each other because these past few weeks they were either arguing or hooking up. Kate got out of her car and walked up the path towards them. "What have we got here?" she said looking up at the rocks where the body was laying.

Lanie answered, "It's a white female COD seems to be a blow to the head."

"TOD?"

"Judging by the lividity Im guessing she was killed about two hours ago, but I'll know better when she is on my table"

"Is there an ID?"

"No, there's nothing on her." Esposito cut in.

Kate looked around exasperated. She spun around when she felt Castle come up from behind her and he asked, "Who found her here?" Esposito and Lanie both pointed to a homeless guy that was pacing back and forth muttering to himself.

"You should have seen this guy earlier, He was ranting and raving about how this woman stole his spot." Esposito said.

"Maybe this homeless guy killed this woman over his spot," Castle said with glint in his eye.

Kate smirked at him and asked incredulously, "What? You think this guy killed the woman for a spot?" Castle shrugged his shoulders and a gave look that seem to say, you never know.