Disclaimer: The Mediator and all its characters belong to Meg Cabot.
Rating: T
Summary: AU. Two Souls, Two Hearts, One Love for all Eternity...
A/N: I got no idea where this came from. Drunken exhaustion I guess. :) But I hope you enjoy and I'd love to know what you think. Thanks!
No In Elenath Hilar Nan Had Gin . . . - May all the stars shine on your path . . .
An Infinite Love
There was once a legend. A myth and a fairytale passed on for generations from one person to the next. The story of a Love that was so strong, it was written in the stars before time had begun.
It was a tale of two souls in perfect unison and a love so pure, when looked upon by mortal eyes; the person would weep with the beauty of it. Of the shared feelings and emotions they felt for each other.
But time was a fickle thing and there is no light without darkness. And the two perfect souls, inhabiting two separate bodies, was cursed and divided. Each cast upon a different fate, seeming to never find each other again.
But what no-one could anticipate is the vow and strength of their bond. Of the silent promise to one day find each other again, so they would once again, become whole.
Millennia passed and love slowly dwindled in mortals. The once perfect legend became tainted and twisted. Love was becoming forgotten and banished. Leaving the world in darkness, save for the few who carried the light forth.
But Fate and Destiny had not. It was by this partnership, that legendary Love had bloomed. They knew of the silent promise, binding the two souls together forever. That one day, their vow would be fulfilled and love would capture the hearts of mortals again.
This is tale of one soul's courage, to finally unite with his Love...
I stumble my way through the forest to her, my foot catching on a root that was obstructing my path. I catch myself before I hit the ground, knowing I would not be able to pick myself back up should I have done. I pull myself steady then make another concerted effort to get to her. My steps are sluggish, heavy; feeble and weak. Carrying me to our meeting place. The same area that she had made first made herself known to me. The night she had helped me realize why I had always felt so lonely and empty. Believing I was to always be devoid of the one thing to make me whole.
I don't look behind me. I know I will never be leaving this forest after tonight. I have nothing to look back too. Only to what is before me.
"I've been waiting for you."
I look towards the trees where her voice had emanated from. Searching the shadows for her silhouette and shine of her silky hair; the quick flash of her eyes. Deeper and deeper I look. But all to no avail. The notion that she is just a figment of my own battered imagination enters my mind, but is tossed aside with the onslaught of emotions and pain that follows upon hearing her. Of the voice that is so soft and gentle, like a lover's caress. Gliding over my soul and stabbing my heart. I close my eyes against hurt, praying it will be gone or lessened by the time I've opened them again.
My breathing hitches in my throat, threatening to turn into a sob with the torture continuing to be inflicted on my already broken spirit. I fight against the weakness trying to be shown. Knowing it's a wasted effort that she's already seen every facet and emotion to ever have appeared in her presence. Seen my lowest and highest moments, knowing the toll it takes each time we are here together. Of every thought I have of her; because she has felt it too.
I finally manage to get my will to obey my demand and open my eyes to the ensuing darkness surrounding me on the outside and within. The black void that with each day takes one step closer to completion. Snaking and weaving through my exhaustion and sapping me of my strength and resolve. Stealing from me, all that I cannot gain back without a sacrifice crying to be dealt to the universe.
The stars burn brightly above me, reminding me all of what I am dying for. Making the pain and shroud of isolation bearable for mere seconds and broadening the world around me, encompassing all in its age old comfort and embrace. Not long now. Not long.
The words whisper through my mind, making the minutest of smiles to grace my face. Unseen to the naked eye, unless you looked deep enough for it. Down to where it really matters. Where the possibilities are never ending in the universe. But the action is gone before it has the chance to grow and build. Just another memory to add to the collection of make believes.
"I'm sorry," I finally murmur in reply. My voice is raspy and cracked. The forces of my passionate feelings making it sound hoarse and unused. I wince at the sound of it to my own sensitive ears. Desperate to let it go; to leave the unnecessary noise of having to speak behind me. Meaningless words to a meaningless life.
I once told her this; expecting her to sigh at my confession and display. But she didn't. And I knew she wouldn't, long before I voiced my thoughts. I took small comfort from my own knowledge of her. She had laughed instead. Agreeing with my assessment. At the useless need of words to a mortal, when thoughts and actions were so much more worthy. She made me swell with pride at such a reaction from her. To hear the beautiful sound echoing to my ears was like a dream.
But it was her who told me to wait. Telling me she would miss the sound of my voice and my words. Of the silken breeze that flows through her when I do. That it's one of the only connections she has left. Unwilling to let me slip through her grasp anymore than I already was. To bide my time for a short while longer she said.
I try to laugh at that last thought, but the energy and effort to do so has been robbed of me. Time. A concept that hasn't meant anything since she explained it to me; of its meaning and its cruelty to us. Of its selfish, unruly and man-made ideals. I have come to loathe and detest the idea that seems so simple to a mind. I refuse to acknowledge its presence. Judging my day by the light. Daring to feel only at night. The dark, quiet side of day where I find her. Always patiently waiting for me and always with the same greeting.
I look to the shadows again, hoping to see some small part of her to help me remember I'm not going through hell alone. That she is suffering the same pain and sentiments as I am. She has tried to tell me my own is worse. That my punishment is more severe than her own. I try to deny her statement each time, refusing to believe that. But deep down, I know she is speaking the truth. She knows this too.
I know how to stop the pain. I know how to ease my suffering. I know all I have to do is to make the decision. The same decision she waits for me to voice. We both know that I'm ready. Deep in my soul, I've been ready all along. But she needs to hear the words. She needs to hear the sincerity of tone. Cracked and broken as it is, she'll hear it.
She hears everything.
"I miss you," She whispers, her voice is coming from somewhere before me. A light breeze flows over me as she speaks, reminding me of what is waiting for me. She is teasing me again. Drawing me in and pulling me further to what I really want. "When will you come to who you belong?"
She sounds so innocent to my aching heart. Her soft question pulling me further still. Until I see the flash of a smile in the distance coming closer at an agonizing pace. Her steps are silent and without thought. She disturbs nothing of the earth beneath her feet. I see her smile first, the rest of her face cast into shadow. Always in shadow, taunting and leaving me desperate to see the rest. To witness her sparkling eyes that holds the stars. Beckoning me to join them so she hides them from me. She knows I would say the words to end this right now, if only to see them.
But she wants me to make the choice on my own. When I'm ready to make that decision to ease my burden. I fall in-love with her even more knowing this. Shocked that my heart can feel so much already and to still want more.
Her smile broadens, reading my thoughts. I feel my own try to come forth to join hers. Knowing it is a helpless thought. That my heart will always have room for more of her love there. That so much will be granted of me once I say the words we are both waiting to hear.
I tear my eyes away from the smile that is so inviting and tempting. I look down to the leaf strewn ground instead; shame and guilt plaguing my movements. I want to let go. To break the curse and seal my fate. But my sense of loyalty is bringing me down. My heart and mind warring inside me like they have been doing since I can remember. The battle only a mortal can suffer. One that is pointless without the deeper emotion to rule it. It is a battle already lost. Because I know what will win and what will lose.
But I still feel an honor to those who call themselves my family. To the devotion they sent upon me. Giving and giving, but never asking for anything in return. Save for my trust and love. The latter something I was always unable to give them completely. A grain of sand compared to the soul who has it all. My vision suddenly swarms with the picture of their grief-stricken expressions. Their cries of despair and their unanswered questions. Ones only I could ever answer. Of how and why I would do what I set out to complete.
They'll demand to know. Scream and weep in each other's arms. The support and love they have for each other, being what saves them. What keeps them from falling apart? The unspoken bond they have always had with each other. One of the few to still carry the light forth in the dark world. A bond I was never part of. They'll look to each for the acknowledgement. Going through every encounter of importance; analyzing and scrutinize each memory. Looking for the reason, for the culprit. Just someone to place the blame upon.
Everyone but me.
The pain, suffering and torture I would endure to stay and protect them from their own grief would be far too immense for my weary heart and soul. Far greater than their own grief for not having me with them any longer. The sacrifice I would be making to the universe is too important to imagine. The sacrifice to me and her far surpasses the former. That being the only thing to really matter to me.
That we be together.
"They'll never understand," I say to the dew covered earth beneath me. Knowing she will. That she always has.
"Your right," She replies, her voice full of solace and pity for those I once shared my mortal life with. "Because they don't choose to, Jesse."
I heave a choked sob again. Knowing how much I could of wasted had I chosen differently. I feel her before me rather than see her. She reaches out to touch me. Reaching to softly stroke my face and ease my suffering. Her touch is feather light. A distant dream of what it once was. I desperately want to reach out and hold her. To breathe in the fragrance of her and feel her mould to my chest and body. To place her where she is supposed to be so I can feel again.
My heart cries out knowing what would happen if I did such a thing.
I step away from her outstretched hand unable to touch me. Walking to the clearing of trees, designated as ours aeons ago. I am granted with the perfect view of where we belong above me. Taking in the trees and darkness surrounding the magickal place I find solace in. Of the sound of the small stream in the distance with its soothing trickle of water gliding over my nerves and raw emotions. Slowly I lower myself to the wet dew covered grass beneath me, lying down to instantly feel the coldness of my clothes clinging to me.
A violent shiver races through my body, overtaking my mind. I can feel the cold tendrils of anticipation coursing through my veins and my blood. My heart is beating a rhythm and drawing slower and slower with each passing moment.
I look to the heavens above me. To the star studded sky, knowing I will see more when I finally get to look into the eyes of infinity. To the one that holds half my soul and heart with hers.
I feel her approach me. Kneeling by my side to look down upon my face streaked with tears. I know she wonders if they're of sadness. I muster a smile to reassure her otherwise. That the tears are of the freedom I will soon feel with her by my side. Freedom I have yearned so long for, it almost feels like a dream.
"Tell me why," I request. My voice nothing more than a whisper only she can hear across the winds of eternity. My question one she has answered many memories before. She thinks this one is just another to add to the collection.
"You know why," She giggles in return. Expecting to hear my usual answer to my query I ask so often. The same answer I had given, like many moments we have had together.
"Please," I beg of her. Praying she will grant me this one last luxury of my life here on earth without her. "One last moment."
Her breath hitches at my admission. The knowledge of what I am asking robbing her of speech. Her mind supplying her with one thought - Forever.
I feel her silently crying beside me. Her form shaking with the effort to not be heard, but I always hear. Over time, space and distance alongside Love and death. I will always hear her crying. Just as I will always hear her laughter over the highest wind and feel her smile in the warmth of the sun. Her sadness in the brightness glow of the stars we'll be joining soon. I will feel her love till the end of forever.
I ache to take her into my arms and comfort her as she had tried to do so earlier. But my arms are leaden by my sides. My heart slowing and my breaths short and shallow. Waiting for her to grant me my final request I can as a mortal.
She raises her head and I see the stars shining in the tracks of her tears. With one last shaky breath, she grants me my wish.
"We belong to each other," she whispers. "Our hearts once divided and cast apart and our souls shredded and torn. From the beginning of time it was written in the stars that our love would bloom, never to be broken. We vowed to find each other to never let go. To swear one day we would be whole again. For our souls to find each other and our hearts to unite at last. Together we would paint the sky with stars, our love clear to all and dear to be. Forever."
I could feel her soft breath blowing over my hair. Her words encompassing the pain I have felt for so long, never deigning to know how to ease the burden. With just her words, she took away all my hurt and suffering, casting it to the fire. Never to be risen and never to be repeated again.
Now it was our time.
Now I understood why she wished for me never to stop speaking. Her softly spoken words filled the cracks that have been showing and bleeding for so long. Spoken in my mind along with her voice in my ear; comforting me more and more. Now my heart was weeping and my soul was calling me home. To Susannah. To finally be re-united with my one love.
"Thank you," I murmured, turning my head slightly to gaze at her tear stained features.
Sobbing quietly, she smiles in acknowledgment. Knowing that soon it would all be over and that we would finally be together again.
With one last pray to my family, I closed my eyes for the last time, whispering the words needed for my heart and soul to be free to join their other halves. Where we together, can reign until the end of forever.
"I'm ready, querida."
My mouth curves and grants her one last smile of a mortal. Knowing that soon, I would be with her how we were meant to be at last. Home, safe and whole out there where we belong.
As he took his last breath, his love bent low to breathe one last admission to him.
"I'll be here, Jesse."
And the curse that enshrouded the two lost souls for millennia was broken and lifted. Their hearts were whole and complete, their souls united. They breathed thought and loved as one . . . For all eternity.
Above the clearing, where the two souls found each other one with his dying breath, the other waiting with an outstretched hand, two stars glowed . . . brighter and more beautiful than the rest.
