Disclaimer:
I do not own the story of Log Horizon or any of its related properties
General Warnings:
Most of the characters in this story are adults. They sometimes use vulgar language and mention scary things like taxes and interacting with the opposite sex.
Author's Note:
I appreciate anyone and everyone who takes the time to critique my work.
I tried very hard to NOT change any canon mechanic of Log Horizon that I didn't mean to change on purpose but the wiki is annoyingly sparse so don't get too mad if I messed something up. If anyone with more knowledge than I wanted to flesh it out a bit that would be awesome.
If I had a nickel for every time I thought 'Elder Scrolls' and meant 'Elder Tales' I could at least buy lunch.
An American Apocalypse
Shiroe was not in a good way. He'd stumbled through the middle of town barely keeping it together. It made no sense. One minute he was logged onto Elder Scrolls waiting for the update to drop, the next he'd woken up here. Not playing his character, but actually being as him. Shiroe's too long legs tripped over themselves and he ended up sprawled in the dirt with a thud. He lay there panting for awhile.
Well, he had two choices. He could freak out and run around panicking. Having reality suddenly changed on you seemed like a valid reason to do just that. Or he could get decide to get himself together. Shiroe took a couple of deep breaths, stood up, and dusted himself off. Finally, he really took a good look at what was around him.
Across the square was the cathedral, next to it the guild headquarters. Looking farther down the way he could see the market section with different brightly colored vendor stalls. Even the giant fountain in the center of the square was right where it was supposed to be. This was definitely the adventurer city of Dixie. Shiroe's eyes narrowed. Not only was he suddenly thrust into a game, but he was halfway around the world from his familiar stomping grounds. Damn you Bones.
Bones was a transfer student in many of the same engineering classes as Shiroe. He was an American, but was spending the year studying in Japan. Despite usually being shy, Shiroe and him had managed to hit it off. One of the bigger reasons for this was them realizing both of them spent a ridiculous number of hours in the world of Elder Scrolls. It hadn't taken Bones long to realize Shiroe was sort of wandering through the game at the time. He'd pick up a quest here, help a person out there, but really he just seemed to be playing out of habit.
So Bones had started nagging Shiroe to join him and his friends on the North American server. It was the first server to go online in the world of Elder Tales so many of the most classic raids and missions could be found there. These were adventures that had been beaten so long ago that it was common knowledge exactly what combination of classes and skill sets were needed to beat them. Having played enough MMOs to find the traditional style a bit stale, Bones and his friends had the bright idea to try and complete these quests with only magic users, because why not. No warrior classes allowed which meant no proper tanks, and no weapons classes which meant no proper vanguard. Shiroe had been skeptical.
"And why would you do this?" Shiroe had asked.
"Because if you're going to play a fantasy MMO why in god's name would you ever do something as mundane as picking up a sword?" responded Bones. "And because it's hard and I like to keep things interesting."
"And what makes you think I could help?" said Shiroe.
Bones gave him an incredulous look.
"Dude, I've hung out with you in Akihabara. I've met your friends. You're practically a legend mister villain in glasses," said Bones said with a smirk. "Besides, you're already thinking about how to use a summoner's golem to make up for the lack of tank and probably a dozen other strategies because you're just that kinda guy."
Shiroe became uncomfortably aware of the part of his brain already figuring out how to keep the sorcerer mobile enough to not get killed while still keeping up their dps. He gave Bones a pained look.
"I know we're friends, Bones. But, there is a reason I don't belong to any guilds. I don't like feeling used."
Bones brushed him off.
"Pshhh, trust me. If they wanted to be carried my friends wouldn't join up for quests like this. They're all higher level, all a little bored with doing things the normal way. They know what they're doing. Also, you've heard the rumors about a new update. You never know what old content will get messed with when that happens. It might be our last chance to do some of these old adventures. And to top it all off we'll just be partying up. No guild membership, no obligations, no hard feelings if you decide it's not your thing. Come on, It'll be fun."
In the end Shiroe had relented. Debauchery tea party was over, it had been for awhile. It was time for some new adventures, he'd thought. Plus a different server meant he would be a lot less well known and likely to get bullied into helping people he didn't want to. Also it was hard to say no to Bones. He was stereotypically American, which meant being loud and overly enthusiastic about everything. But it also made him quite charismatic. He was just fun to be around.
However, physically manifesting in Dixie had not been part of the deal. Looking at how the people around him were acting indicated they thought much the same.
Something was off though. A few people were acting even more strangely than expected. They were sitting on the ground staring intently and moving there fingers as if manipulating something. The thought came crashing through Shiroe's head, the menu! He focused his gaze and tentatively tapped the air in front of him.
And there it was, the menu just as he remembered it. His stats, inventory, and friend list were all there. Hell, even the in game volume control was there. He adjusted the slider just to see what would happen. The noise of everyone around him faded to practically nothing. Weird.
He quickly navigated to the log out button and stabbed at it. A dull beep and red failure symbol popped up. Of course, he thought, nothing that simple. But his friends list was there. Another thought occurred to him. If this was the game he could simple call anyone on his friends list with voice chat. Well, anyone on this server anyway. Just as he got to Bones' name a ringing started in his head that nearly made him jump out of his skin. The interface in front of him changed showing an incoming call. It was Bones.
"Uhhhh, hello?" said Shiroe.
"Uh, hey Shiroe. Still on for meeting at the Silver Spur in ten or so?" asked Bones.
"Yep," said Shiroe.
"And, uhh. This may may sound silly, but are you sitting in front of your computer like normal?" said Bones.
"Nope, definitely inside the game," said Shiroe.
"Oh," said Bones. "Ok. Not just me then. That's good, I think?"
"If you say so," said Shiroe.
Shiroe heard a stifled laugh on the other end, then another. Pretty soon Bones had busted out laughing and Shiroe couldn't help but join him. It felt good to acknowledge the ridiculousness of the situation with someone else.
"Alright, well. Glad to hear I'm not the only insane person," said Bones. "Anyway, I'm going to try and get a hold of everybody else. They should have all been online since the update was coming. Silver Spur tavern. Ten minutes. Be there. Then maybe we can figure out what the hell is going on."
Jordan looked over towards the entrance of the tavern when he heard the door swing open. A short female nervously stepped into the noisy room. Unlike most of the adventurers in the room she wasn't clad in armor or flowing robes. Instead, her tight, sleeveless shirt and simple pants revealed tattoos coving most of her dark skin marking her as a member of the race of ritual. One of the rarer races in Elder Tales, it came with boosted magical stats but annoyingly low health points. As she looked around the room her numerous rings, bracelets, and earrings twinkled in the torchlight. At each step the bells tied into her short purple hair and around her ankles gave off faint jingles. Her eyes met Jordan's.
Jordan slapped a hand over his mouth before he burst out laughing. It didn't help.
"Bwahahaha. Oh my god you're stuck like that aren't you?" he said.
"Come on man, this is weird enough as it is," said Arryn. She walked the rest of the way across the tavern to sit down at the bar next to her friend.
"Which part is worse, the fact that you're the wrong gender or that you're like two feet tall?" said Jordan.
"I'm nearly five feet thank you very much," said Arryn. "But yeah, definitely the short thing. I'm not used to having to look up at everybody. I don't suppose I can actually order a beer here, can I?"
"Call it an ale, but yeah, totally allowed. And really?" said Jordan. "The being a girl part isn't odd?"
"Beer first, talk second. Hey Barman!" she yelled over to the person of the land working the bar. He acknowledged her and indicated it would be a second. She turned back to Jordan.
"Seriously, your body's your body. Took me a bit to get used to the walking part but you forget about the rest pretty quickly. It's like remembering whether or not you have an elbow. Normally it's not something you think about. It just kinda is. What I am not used to is looking up at everyone. You're all supposed to be a certain height, and that height is shorter than me. I feel like I've stumbled into a land of giants."
The barman arrived near them looking expectant. Arryn turned toward him with desperation.
"I need an ale. Like, a really big one." She held her hands apart at about the size of a large tankard. The barman gave her a look.
Arryn sighed. "Yeah, alright. A pint then, just, get me a pint."
The barman grabbed a glass, filled it up, and set her pint down in front of her. Arryn threw down some coins and quickly scooped up the pint to take a drink. Immediately she coughed and spat it out in a very undignified manner. "Oh come on!" she yelled. "Barman! I said I wanted an ALE!"
Jordan was laughing at her again. "Don't yell at him it's not his fault. Everything liquid tastes like water. You should try the food once. It's worse."
"Son of a bitch. And I was just thinking that this might not be so bad," said Arryn. "Is the food actually worse?"
"You ever accidentally buy saltine crackers that don't have salt?" said Jordan.
"They sell those?" said Arryn.
"Yes. They're terrible. Now dunk one of them in water and eat it. That's pretty much what the food tastes like."
Arryn dropped her head onto the bar hard enough to make an audible thunk and groaned. She turned to talk to Jordan again without bringing her head off of the table.
"This is Elder Tales right? I'm not just crazy?" asked Arryn.
"As far as I can tell. Everything is laid out just like Dixie is in the game. Hell, you know as well as I do how many times we've met up here. Even the damn bartender looks pretty much the same," said Jordan.
"Speaking of meeting up here. Where's everyone else?" asked Arryn.
"Should be here soon," said Jordan.
They sat in silence for a bit. Jordan sipping his water watching the people mill about the tavern while Arryn moped, her head still on the bar. Eventually she perked up.
"How about you?" she asked. "Regretting making your character look like he should join AARP?"
"I look wise and experienced, thank you very much," said Jordan.
"You're covered in face paint," said Arryn.
"Yeah," said Jordan. "It kinda itches too. I wasn't expecting that."
Jordan was of the medicine man class, the only class unique to the North American server. While technically one of the healer classes, its healing powers aren't at the level of the druid or cleric. However it made up for it with damage prevention, mobility, and even some of its own attacks. Jordan had decided to embrace his role fully by making his character appear to be a wise, old man clothed in fur and leather armor. His prized possession was his wooden staff with the likeness of many different animals and spirits carved into it. It was a phantasmal class item called Ancestor's Wrath. He'd earned by completely a medicine man only quest called The Ceremony which had spanned over much of the American West. He'd been hanging onto it rather tightly ever since whatever had happened to bring them here happened.
"Well, it's your own fault for role playing too well," said Arryn. "You didn't have to make yourself a grandpa just because you're a medicine man."
"Role playing is the fun part! If you don't put any story behind it it's just clicking buttons in the right oder," said Jordan.
"Yes, but when I click buttons things blow up on the other end," countered Arryn.
Arryn was a 'min max' sort of player. She had gone all in on being a damage per second sorcerer. Everything from her gear, to her race had been chosen to make sure she dealt as damage as fast as possible, and everything else be damned. This meant that if asked, she could blast a hole through most anything smaller than a raid boss. But on the other hand, a stray cross bolt from a mid level orc could drop half her health. The solution was to make sure she didn't get hit by any stray cross bolts. This, of course, was Jordan's job, and it wasn't as simple as pumping her full of healing spells. Arryn's health and armor were so low that certain attacks could take her out faster than any cleric could heal her. He had to use a complex set of damage prevention, healing, and mobility spells to keep her up and fighting. It didn't help that Arryn also made liberal use of teleport spells to keep herself out of danger. Simply keeping track of her during the mayhem of a fight was a job onto itself.
"Glad to hear you guys are arguing about the important thing." The melodious voice of an elf came from behind them.
"Ashley! You made it," said Jordan. "Where's the professor?"
"MJ's finding us a table. It'll be easier for everyone to talk if we don't sit at the bar," said Ashley.
"Fair enough," said Jordan. "You gunna bring your drink?" he asked Arryn.
Arryn just grunted at him in reply. Ashley gave Jordan a questioning look.
"I'll wait till everybody gets here to explain. For now I'll just say don't bother ordering anything," said Jordan.
MJ was seated at a table with her back towards the wall at the far end of the tavern. Though everyone called her the professor, she was actually the youngest of the party at sixteen. However, while Jordan enjoyed role playing in general, MJ lived for the story of Elder Tales. Ever since finding the books in middle school she'd loved the world. She had fan art posted on her walls and had spent more hours than was strictly necessary link jumping through the wiki. Being one of the more shy kids in her class, the world had been a great escape from everyday life. When it came to in game lore she was nearly as useful as google.
She'd finally managed to convince her parents to let her actually play the MMO when her older sister had told them she'd play with her. This had probably been one of the best thing about the game. Her older sister Ashley was thirteen years her senior and had properly moved out of the house by the time she was ten. Getting to know each other while living together really hadn't been possible. But with the game, they'd really been able to hang out. Despite the fact that Ashley was a real life adult with a teaching job and bills to pay she still made time to play with her little sister. So they'd get online and go on adventures together or just wander the world and chat about whatever had been going on in their lives. It had been a great outlet.
And now she was here, staring out of her own eyes at this world she knew way too well. She pulled the sides of her cloak a little tighter around her and sank deeper into the shadows of the hood. The soft velvet felt comforting against her skin. She silently thanked whatever impulse made her spend the extra gold to get this particular cloak.
Despite being nervous, a small bubble of excitement threatened to burst as a grin all across her face. How many times had she imagined sitting here? Hundreds? At least? She'd imagined walking through the town square and gazing up at the beautiful cathedral, or seeing a sunrise over the wide expanse of the central plains. She'd even imagined grabbing a meal at this very tavern. But every time she had imagined these things there hadn't ever been so many, well, people.
She enjoyed interacting with the world of Elder Tales. It was predictable. She knew the rules. People on the other hand, people were hard. Sure, Elder tales was an online game and technically there were people everywhere in it. You could talk to people with messages or voice chat if you wanted to. But if you didn't want to they sorta just faded into background and became a part of the scenery as much as the trees were. Even if you did interact it was usually about game world things which MJ knew plenty about.
The people in this tavern, however, were different. They were definitely not scenery. Mostly, they looked scared and confused. Give me a dragon any day, she thought, scared humans are the worst. Thankfully, her sister had found the other members of their party and was bringing them over.
Conveniently, as Ashley, Jordan, and Arryn were pulling up chairs Bones and Shiroe also found them. Bones was waving excitedly at them while Shiroe wore his customary soft smile. MJ liked Shiroe. It was nice having someone around who knew as much about the game mechanics as she did about the lore. However, since Bones had convinced Shiroe to join them it had become nearly impossible to convince Bones that some of his ideas were impossibly ambitious. They all settled in, finding it more difficult than expected to keep everyone's magical staffs out of each others way. Finally, Bones stood up with his costumary energy.
"Alright, listen up!" said Bones. "I hereby call our first meeting since the apocalypse to order."
Everyone stared at him for a beat.
"The apocalypse?" asked Jordan.
"I'm not sure you guys noticed," said Bones, "but the world has ended. Congratulations, you made it to the other side. I don't know why it happened, and I don't know the way back. I'm not even sure if there is a way back. I do know that I don't want to waste any time running around like a chicken with my head cut off." He stared hard at everyone seated there.
"We get it Bones," said Ashley, "panicking won't help. You can lay off. But we're all at a loss here. What are we actually supposed to do now?"
Bones brightened at the question.
"Actually," he said, "I have the perfect solution for that. How about we ask our head strategist?"
Shiroe felt his stomach sink through the floor as five expectant eyes all turned towards him.
