She'd faced her share of winters, but this one seemed particularly cold to her. Something about the snow and the wind had her much colder than she'd been in years, including the childhood winters spent in the confines of the stone Hogwarts walls. At first she thought it really was the weather, but Lily Potter was smarter than that. The cold feeling inside her had nothing to do with the weather, and it certainly was not something that could be cured with a well made coat or cup of hot chocolate.
X
"You're out late." His voice wasn't demanding or harsh. He sounded as though he was simply informing her that she had broken curfew, as though she hadn't noticed.
"Thank you," Lily retorted, her words far more biting than his. As she continued through the Slytherin Common Room, the eyes of fellow Slytherin, Scorpius Malfoy, followed her, one eye brow higher than the other.
"You're not going to be as insufferable as your brother, are you?"
Lily stopped one step away from the staircase leading to the girls' dormitories. For a moment, she simply stood still as though she were processing his words and their meaning. After she'd taken a few moments, she turned back and stared across the empty room at Scorpius Malfoy, finding the smug look across his face all too infuriating.
"Or your cousin? That'd be even worse."
"The only thing worse than being as intolerable as Rose is being as intolerable as you." Lily replied sharply. She knew her childlike voice was not nearly as cutting edge as his, but she hardly cared. To make up for the girlish tone she carried, she held his gaze much longer than he'd expected of the small first year.
Scorpius was the first to break the silence, and the gaze, as he drew in a deep breath and turned back to the potions paper he'd been working on. "Welcome to Slytherin, Lily Potter." He called to her before he counted the number of stairs she climbed until her footsteps were out of his earshot.
X
Lily Potter was an outcast in far more ways than one. She was the only Slytherin in her family, and suffered the consequences in the summer between her first and second year. Returning to Hogwarts was not any better, however, since nearly every Slytherin had deemed her as nothing more than a Potter. She was not the ideal image of a Slytherin that any "real" Slytherins wanted to associate with.
She honestly didn't mind the space around her, for after she'd grown accustomed to being alone, she found she enjoyed the extra time to ponder things most others didn't have the time to. Scorpius Malfoy often was one of the topics she ponder, as she could never understand the insane boy who never failed to enrage her beyond belief. He, too, seemed to be slightly out casted, but Lily had a feeling it was for much different reasons than her own.
"You always look mad." Scorpius said, his words utterly destroying the companionable silence that had fallen around the two as they sat late into the night at the table in the Slytherin Common Room, each working on their assignments.
Lily paused her writing and drew in a breath before she looked up at Scorpius Malfoy. "Well, aren't you flattering." She commented dryly as she tried to turn back to her work, but Scorpius effectively distracted her a second time.
"Why do you always wait until the last minute to do your work?" Scorpius asked, ignoring her tone and comments.
"Why do you think I procrastinate?" Lily replied simply as she set her quill to the side of her parchment and decided it would be much easier indulge Scorpius for a short amount of time instead of ignoring him until he grew bored.
"Because it's well past midnight and you're still writing."
"This was assigned today, Scorpius, I'll have you know." Lily answered as she reached for her quill and continued her work. "I like to get things done early."
"Why aren't you in Ravenclaw?"
"Why aren't you in any House other than Slytherin?" Lily replied and Scorpius laughed as he returned to his work as well.
"You pretend you don't like me, but you'd be hopelessly bored if we were in different Houses." Slytherin commented, but the half-hearted tone of his voice threw Lily off. She tried to ignore the comment completely but it ate at her until she groaned and looked up at him again.
"And what exactly gives you that impression?"
Scorpius laughed as he looked up at Lily. When he saw her face soften, he paused for a moment, until he realized he'd smiled at her. Of all the bickering and teasing they'd inflicted on one another, they'd never laughed. More importantly, however, he'd never smiled.
After the moment passed, Scorpius collected himself and returned to his work, but Lily took a moment longer to do the same. She found it incredibly difficult to focus, especially as Scorpius answered her question.
"I know because I'd be hopelessly bored if either of us were in another House."
X
"How dare you," Lily's voice was harsh and unmistakably filled with anger as she stood outside the doors of Scorpius' fourth year potions class. The moment he'd exited the classroom, he became the object of the small red head's uncontainable anger. "What makes you think you have the right to decide anything for me, Scorpius Malfoy?"
"What are you going on about? Have you no idea that you look like a mad woman?" Scorpius responded, immediately becoming defensive as he approached Lily. She stepped back from him as he came dangerously close, only because she'd seen him argue with a countless amount of people, and never once did he become defensive or even aggressive. Scorpius Malfoy had an infuriating way of never caring about anything.
"You'll look like a dead man, so I suppose it won't matter."
"You think it's within your power to do that to me, do you?" Scorpius taunted as he stared down at Lily. Though she was shorter than him, she certainly had a way of becoming rather intimidating. "And I don't even know what you're so mad about."
"I was supposed to go to Hogsmeade with William Collins tomorrow." Lily responded simply as she held his gaze. He found he rather hated her fearless nature. He knew that one day, it would either make or break her, but he hardly cared for Lily Potter anyway.
"Yes, I would be mad if I was forced to endure that as well." Scorpius replied, hearing a wave of snickering from the crowd that had surrounded Hogwarts' favorite set of rivals.
"He canceled and when I asked him why he said to ask you." Lily responded strongly. Scorpius stepped back from her, his face suddenly changing. "What did you say to him?"
"Does it matter? I've saved you from a terrible date." Scorpius tried to laugh, but Lily saw through his forced smile and laughter. After the many times they'd fought, they'd had a few moments of genuine smiles and laughter. She knew how his eyes changed when he smiled, and the smile he wore before her now was a terrible imposter of the real thing.
Scorpius had turned away from her for a brief moment, but as he turned back he paused. He'd never seen tears, however small, in the crystal blue eyes of the only unbreakable Potter. Yes, Albus had cried in pain from falls on the Quidditch pitch of almost deathly heights. James had endured at least one public heartbreak. Lily, however, was unlike her brothers in many, many ways, only one of which included her fearless nature and unbreakable spirit.
Lily said nothing to him, but the silence was quite possible worse than any words she could've used against him. Instead, she turned and started to move away from him, but he reached out to grab her elbow, with the intent of keeping her there a moment longer, perhaps to alleviate her anger. In one fluid moment, however, Lily whipped around, pulling her elbow from his grasp, her wand in her other hand, and pointed directly at Scorpius.
She didn't need to say any words to him, because he knew. It was unnecessary to for her to verbally threaten him, for he had a very real sense of what might happen to him should he ever break a girl who was virtually impossible to touch. He'd always assumed that whatever was out of reach could not be broken, but the Lily before him had proved him to be very wrong.
X
Lily spent the majority of her fourth year much like her first: alone. During her second and the beginning of the third, she'd enjoyed the bickering and arguing with Scorpius late at night, and even around the castle, but once he'd crossed the line, she found she could bear his presence any longer. Why had slowly becoming silly meaningless arguments, had returned to the original, actual fights they had been during her first year.
She had, in a sense, actually achieved the silly idea they'd proposed their second year. Scorpius Malfoy, essentially, was no longer in the Slytherin House. She never saw him in the Common Room and he sat far enough away during meals that his presence went unnoticed. Due to the gap in their ages and years, they had no classes together. Scorpius Malfoy and Lily Potter were no longer in the same House, and she found she did eventually become hopelessly bored just as he had promised her two years ago.
Trying her best to remove the thought from her mind, Lily focused on the Transfiguration essay she desperately was attempting to work on, but found her mind refused to cooperate with her. Instead, it wanted to wander, which inevitably lead to unwanted thoughts of Scorpius Malfoy.
"Are you going to hex me if I work on my potions?" Scorpius' voice carried through the Common Room, and Lily whipped around to find him standing on the last step of the stairs to the boys' dormitories. He'd half expected a contorted look on her face out of anger, but instead found a surprised, perhaps almost pleased, Lily staring back at him.
"Are you going to ruin any more of my dates?"
Scorpius had half a mind to deny any involvement with her date that never happened, but over the last three years something odd had occurred. Lily, the one person who infuriated him the most, knew him better than anyone else. She would see through him faster than he could even tell the lie.
"No," He answered as he shook his head, and Lily had started to smile, but turned away from him, giving him only a glimpse of the sight.
"Ok," Lily said and Scorpius took the last step of the staircase before he moved to the seat across from her at the table. He spread his work across the table and started to write, and noticed Lily writing as furiously as he.
"Excited for Transfiguration?" He teased as he looked up at her, only to find an exhausted Lily looking back at him.
"It's due tomorrow." She admitted, sounding as though she were the biggest failure in the entire school. The fact that she believed it lead to her becoming angry when Scorpius' laughter had escaped him before he had the chance to stop it. "If you're just going to mock me, then you can leave."
"I wasn't mocking you, Lily." He responded as he turned back to his own paper. "I was just curious as to how you've enjoyed life as a normal student this entire night."
"It's terrible." She answered and he laughed again. "Scorpius!"
"Ok, I'm sorry." He told her as he straightened in his seat and reached out for her parchment. "What's the topic?"
"I don't know." Lily whined, but Scorpius managed to reduce his laughter to only a stubble smile as he reached for her open text book as well.
X
It wasn't a real friendship. It wasn't really anything. They entertained each other when no one else was available, and often they argued over petty things. Sometimes their arguments had a way of exploding themselves into full on wars, until one of them had enough sense to reach for the white flag. Over the course of all their ups and downs, however, Scorpius and Lily had grown accustomed to one another and their presence.
"Are you still dating Collins?" Scorpius asked curious as he peered across the table at Lily.
"Why?" She responded as her eye brows furrowed. Scorpius never inquired about her romantic life, and the question struck her as odd.
"I was only curious."
"I'm not dating anybody." She told him simply as she continued working on her essay. A moment passed between them before she looked up at him and leaned over the table. "It seems I've somehow become more and more unattractive as I get older."
"What are you blind now, too?" Scorpius retorted, and saw Lily's face contort a second time. Thankfully, she did not comment on his response and instead continued the conversation.
"I get less and less dates every year."
"Maybe boys get stupider as they get older." Scorpius replied lightheartedly as he peered up at Lily, who was already watching him.
"That's a very real possibility."
"Or maybe you just got meaner and scared them all away." Scorpius replied with narrowed eyes but Lily laughed at him before she returned to her work. Though she was working, she could feel Scorpius' gaze on her, and as his eyes lingered she became more and more distracted.
"What are looking at?" Lily sighed as she looked up at him, but her face softened when she noticed the serious look across Scorpius' face. "What is it?"
"You don't get dates because nobody outside of Slytherin wants to date you, and everybody in Slytherin thinks there's something between us."
He'd expected her to immediately provide a counterargument, but in the silence that followed his comment, he realized he wasn't the only one thinking about the possibility. He was just the only one willing to say it.
Lily continued to stare at him, and he watched something change in her face until she finally looked down at her work once more, never once responding to what he'd told her.
"Is that all?" Scorpius asked sarcastically, slightly angered that he wouldn't get any real answer out of Lily in his last year at Hogwarts. He would be leaving soon, and wanted to at least have an answer from her, even if he hadn't yet directly asked the question.
"What do you want me to say?" She replied softly as she continued writing, but Scorpius noticed her hand slow until she stopped completely. "You're leaving after this year anyway, so it doesn't really matter."
"Maybe not to the rest of the school."
Lily froze for a moment before she looked up at Scorpius, and drew in a deep breath. He heard her break shaking, but she tightened her grip on her quill, effectively willing her hands to remain still.
"There's nothing I can tell you if I don't know what you want to know." Lily responded and Scorpius stared at her. He should've known he'd be required to ask her. Lily had always been that way, but Scorpius found that he could bring himself to ask the question. The words were trapped within him, and as badly as he wanted to say them, he didn't want to hear words that had the potential to destroy him.
After a few breaths, Scorpius released his quill and focused on Lily's crystal blue eyes. "Was there every something between us that we never acted on, or was I just wasting years wanting something I would never have?"
When silence followed, Scorpius braced himself for the latter of the answered, but he immediately let out a breath of air when he felt Lily's slender fingers slip into his. He wrapped his fingers around her, wanting to know how her hands felt in his, but afraid to crush her delicate fingers in his firm grasp. He saw the same broken Lily appear before him that had vanished since her third year, then magically reappear before him at that moment. As he rose from his seat, he moved around the edge of the table, not once letting go of her fingers, for fear he would never hold him again after releasing them.
With his free hand, he cupped her cheek before he bent down to press their lips together, reveling in the feel of Lily's lips moving as frantically as his as she responded wholeheartedly to him. They'd barely been kissing a moment before Lily rose to her feet, allowing him to stand, though their height difference still made the kiss awkward for him. Despite any uncomfortable position required to kiss her, Scorpius wouldn't have stopped for anything short of an earthquake threatening to swallow the Common Room. Even then, he'd debate whether or not to continue.
As she released his fingers, she reached up to put her fingers in his hair, leaving his hands to find her waist. He guided her to the edge of the table before he lifted her so that she sat on the tabletop. He stood between her legs and the two were able to kiss far more comfortably now that their faces were of equal height.
He felt her wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, though he feared the closer he came to her, the harder it would be to remove himself from her presence. It was inevitable that they parted, but Scorpius wanted it to be as painless as possible. Despite that, he desperately wanted to continue kissing her, even as she pulled away from his lips. To make up for the kiss ended too early, Scorpius kept their foreheads pressed together.
"You're leaving." Lily told him, as though he hadn't been aware of the end of the school year, which was arriving far too quickly for his tastes.
"I know."
"We shouldn't do this." She told him, and he heard her voice break, but he saw the tears in the corner of her eyes for only a moment before she blinked them away.
"It's really hard not to."
Lily shut her eyes as she removed her arms from his neck and placed her hands on his chest. Slowly, but firmly, she pushed him away until there was enough room for her to jump off the edge of the table. "Good night, Scorpius." She told him softly as she turned back to the table and started to gather her things.
"That's it then?"
"You got your answer."
"I wanted a lot more than an answer."
"You did get more than an answer." Lily told him as she passed him and started towards the staircase, careful not to let him see her eyes.
"That really wasn't what I had in mind." Scorpius responded and Lily paused on the staircase, but did not turn to face him.
"I doesn't really matter either way, Scorpius. You're leaving and there never was a chance for us, anyway."
He knew the truth behind her words, but hearing her say them made them all the more unbearable. With no other objection that he could make, Lily continued up the staircase, leaving Scorpius in silence.
X
She knew the only way to cure the cold inside her, but it was too late for that. It was years too late for that. Hogwarts had ended, as had their nights doing school work. There really was no other way to instantly warm her other than to let time do what it did best and pass, hopefully taking the past with it. Until then, Lily was left to simply stare down at the picture of the happily engaged Malfoy couple on the front page of the news paper, all while the first and only tear shed over Scorpius Malfoy rolled down her cheek.
