Summary: Ichigo and Keigo sit on a flight of stairs outside the principal's office, awaiting detention and regretting everything.
Warning: a little mention of the f-word and its joyful little meaning but nothing M-rated, I swear! Nothing close.
Spoilers: post-winter war
Disclaimer: no, I don't


So starting a ruckus on the first day of school had not been a bright idea. Perhaps one day he would regret lining the floor with corn flour.

Whatever it was that possessed him to do that, he had no idea.

'Hey,' the sharp voice of Asano Keigo snapped him out of his reverie. 'It's only detention, it's not the end of the world, you know.' He smiled.

Ichigo returned it with a forced grimace. Did he really regret it?

'Keigo,' the orange-haired boy asked. 'Do you, you know, regret doing that?'

'Nah, there are many more things worse than this, aren't there?' He dragged out his words almost drunkenly. 'Like, the time I didn't get to ask that girl out! And the other time when I ruined the perfect date! And when the school denied my application to start a dating club!' He threw his head back and laughed.

If only he could be as carefree as many others his age.

If only getting dumped could be the biggest worry in his life.

If only corn flour could make him laugh.

Shifting down several steps so as to be on the same level as Keigo, he sighed. 'If you could have one wish, what would you wish for?'

Keigo barely gave it a thought. 'The perfect date, the perfect marriage, the perfect life, of course! How about you?'

Ichigo wondered long and hard.

Maybe if he still had his Shinigami powers.

Maybe if he had held back that last Getsuga Tenshou.

Maybe if he had stopped Hinamori from being stabbed.

Maybe if he had stopped the Shinigami from falling prey to Aizen's illusions.

Maybe if he had been stronger.

Maybe if he had run faster.

Maybe if Rukia hadn't had to be executed.

Maybe if he'd never met her.

Would life be better that way?

Would life be better the way it was two years ago?

Life without the ability to protect his loved ones.

Life without the amazing number of friends he'd gained through Soul Society.

Life without power.

Life without the knowledge that struggles could be won.

Life without beliefs.

Was that still life? Or would it be a lie?

It was just one letter off - a letter that most associated with the most foul word of all, the word that meant suffering, as well as joy and pleasant experiences.

Life would mean suffering, but along with it there would be times of rejoicing and pleasant memories.

Life would have to go on, and lies stopped. He, Kurosaki Ichigo, would not be stopped; would not turn back; would get his power back.

'Not really,' Ichigo responded belatedly to Keigo's question. 'I'm perfectly fine just the way I am.'

Most of all, he would regret nothing. Life was all too short - a mere four letters - but a lie was even shorter; he would treasure his four letters on earth before moving on to the afterlife.


the end


AN: one of the more...philosophical workings of my head. Not quite the effect I tried to achieve , but oh well. I'm not too upset about that.

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