I just wanted to write some silly things. So inspired by how funny you people are – you write hilarious stuff.

Some strong language

Hope you like it. Will add more if you do,

Loki & Frigga by Odin's bedside

"I never get used to seeing him like this."
"He has put it off for so long now. But I fear."
"How long will it last?"
"I don't know. This time it's different. We were unprepared."

"Mother, can I ask you something?"

"Of course dear."

"Can I have his hat?"

"What?"

"Well mine is so dorky and he's not using it…"

"Of course you can't have his hat!"

"Why not? I just found out that I'm adopted. I want a present."

"Don't be a Muppet, it's the Odin Helm. You can't just take the Odin Helm. It's not a fucking bobble hat."

"What's so special about it.?"

"Well it's… I… it has err special Odin Powers that only he can wield."

"Like what?"

"Never you mind. It would melt your brain that's all you need to know."

"You just don't want me to have it."

"How about I knit you a nice balaclava instead..?

Loki – God of Admin & Heimdall

"What troubles you, gatekeeper?"
"I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim but could neither see you nor hear you. You were shrouded from me like the Frost Giants that had entered this realm. "
"Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service."
"Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish me to see."

"What exactly is it that you do Heimdall?"

"Pardon me?"

"Well you are always hanging about here, but apart from shoving the big sword in the thing occasionally what else do you do?"

"I don't follow?"

"Now I am King I feel we need to maximise the efficiency of the workforce. You really should be looking for extra tasks to do in between opening the Bifrost."

"I guard the..."

"Yes, yes but there are a great many fag ends littered about the place. Seems to me you hide out here and have a crafty smoke most of the time."

"No! How dare you. That's just… well maybe one or two... but I am guarding the thing! I have to be here in case people need to use it."

"I am sure we can set up a request system for that. Why don't you run along to Human resources and see if they can't find you some filing to do."

….

Loki & Thor just before the coronation.

"Loki, have you been experimenting with magic on yourself again?"

"What can you mean?"

"I am referring to that monstrous trouser snake you appear to be harbouring."

"Oh, this? It's just the way they are tailored. This is all me brother." Smug smile

"I've never noticed it before."

"If I'd known you'd been looking I'd have gladly got it out for you."

"Are you sure it's not magic? You were in the bathroom for a long while."

"I'd just had a lot to drink and needed to urinate."

"I hope you washed your hands afterwards?"

"No but its ok, I didn't need to touch it."