A/N: Hello all, this story took a while to write and I didn't get a lot of consecutive writing done. So it didn't go or end just the way I planned, I thought I started out strong but ended a little weak. I'm thinking of doing a sequel of what happens after the ending, so let me know what you think and if it's something you'd like to see then I'll be more than happy to write it. So read, and may you enjoy.
Chi-Chi still couldn't believe it.
'He's not coming back…'
"Goku…." Could he see her looking for him, her eyes in the sky, the tears shining like the stars only that cloudy night nothing could be seen.
'It'll be alright mom.' Gohan was smiling when he said that, he was wearing a typical face that the son of Goku would wear, just like his father, he could put on that smile and make the world seem right. But behind that smile were eyes hiding the pain in his own heart. 'He was happy, mom, I heard him.' He had heard him, heard it with his own ears. But he hadn't accepted it.
'Oh, yes Gohan…' Chi-Chi knelt down, her face flush from crying at the news of her husband's death. She put her hands softly on his strong shoulders, the shoulders of her son, who just a few weeks ago had still been those of a child, now were those of a young man. She tried to smile herself, smile back to Gohan in assurance, but her face refused to wear even an obviously forced grimace. 'Yes, I know we will.'
'Don't worry Chi-Chi.' Ox King spoke up, his gruff voice might have startled a stranger, but to Chi-Chi, she knew it just as the voice of dad. 'Everything happens for a reason right? I mean, maybe this was his fate.'
'How could you say that, daddy!' Chi-Chi jumped up, whirling around to face him, challenging the words coming from his mouth. 'How could you say that it was Goku's destiny to die!'
Gohan turned away, he didn't think he could ever tell his mother about the battle with Cell, what happened there. He still couldn't shake that feeling in his heart, the breaking stab in his chest as he continued to battle the idea that it was HIS fault that Goku was dead. Daddy was dead because of him! Gohan shook the thought away momentarily, right now his mother needed him.
'No Chi-Chi!' Ox King was protesting back. 'It's not a good thing, but good bye isn't forever, right?' Chi-Chi stared up at her father, frozen, utterly confused, with emotions conflicting within her. 'I mean, you're sure to see each other again, right?' Chi-Chi's eyes shook, she looked back down at her son, the smile no longer on his face, his eyes now wearing a notion of concern, worried up at his mother. 'It's not like he's gone…'
'I guess…' She fell down to her knees again, Gohan gasped and went to catch her, but she returned to the same position as earlier, knelt down with her arms on her son's strong shoulders. She smiled this time though, even though her eyes were drenched with tears, she had a smile on her face, 'I can see him.'
'Huh?' Gohan tilted his head to the side.
'Goku isn't gone.' She lowered her head. 'He will always be here.' After a brief pause she looked back up at her son. 'Isn't that right, Gohan?'
'Yeah!' Gohan grinned. 'We…. We'll be alright mom.' He looked up. 'Won't we grandpa!'
'Yes.' Ox King nodded, he smiled too. 'Goku wouldn't want us to be sad, he'd want us to be happy.'
'Yeah, that dumb oaf.' Chi-Chi half laugh half sobbed. She let out a cleansing sigh and shut her eyes, standing up. 'Alright, enough of that. Goku would also say he's hungry, so…' She glanced over her shoulder. 'How about we eat in his honor.'
'Alright!' Ox King and Gohan cheered, they were both happy to see her smile again.
'I just hope we can eat Goku's share between the three of us.' Gohan laughed.
'I know I have an appetite, but I've never ever beaten Goku!' Ox King replied back.
'Yeah.' Chi-Chi smiled to herself with a nod, turning into the kitchen as the boys went to watch some TV in the living room. 'No one could ever replace Goku, there will never be another Goku.' She looked down and sighed, she felt so lost, but she couldn't give up now, she had a family to live for and care for, without Goku, now she would have to be the strong one in the family. She clenched her fist in determination. 'And now, I shall start dinner.'
That was earlier last night, now that the sun was down and she was in the bedroom alone in the big empty darkness, looking skyward, lost, did she really feel it, she really felt it hit her hard, the solitude she would face, alone, for the rest of her life. Was she really strong enough? Would she really be able to be the strong one of the family now?
"Oh Goku…"
She felt sick, alone with her thoughts, alone… just, alone! She continued to stare, stare and stare up into the oblivion. But she got no answer, she heard no response. With a sigh of defeat she turned back to the dark bedroom. She stood up from the chair next to the window and walked towards her bed. Never before had the bed seemed so large, so empty. She was too tired now, she got into the bed and lay under the covers, spread out on her back, staring up at the ceiling. The night was quiet, there was no wind, no animals outside, no snoring from Goku. The whole house felt empty, no, the whole world. Because Goku was her whole world… wait…. That's right, was. Her world, it was empty now, it was….
"Ugh…" She felt sick again, just thinking about it. "I have to stop this." She turned onto her side, her back to the window and she forced her eyes shut to try and get some sleep… did it work? She opened her eyes, only two minutes had passed on the alarm clock on the side of the bed. "Oh…" She groaned, she was too tired for this right now. She crawled over to the other side of the bed, Goku's side, and lay down. She tried to snuggle as deep into the sheets, the pillows and the mattress as she could. Yet no pillow, no comforter could provide the comfort of Goku's arms. "Maybe tomorrow morning… things will look brighter." She closed her eyes. "In the morning."
The next morning…
"Ah!" Gohan yawned as he opened the door to his bedroom, it was the first day in… well, a very long time, that he had woken up in black hair. He didn't have to be a Super Saiyan anymore. He rubbed his dark, no longer blue-green eyes, as he walked down the hall. "Morning grandpa."
"Oh, hello there Gohan." Ox King nodded as he got out of the bathroom, he put his comb in his pocket. "Ready for breakfast?"
"Oh." Gohan groaned, putting his hands on his stomach. "After last night's two and a half dinners, I don't think I could eat at all today!" He laughed.
"I think I could burst too." Ox King joined in, a creak of a door opening was heard, but right before they could turn to great the source, Chi-Chi rushed passed them and into the bathroom.
"Morning, excuse me!" She slammed the door shut.
"Uh…" Gohan blinked up at his grandpa.
He just shrugged back, "Maybe she ate too much too." They walked towards the dining room.
Chi-Chi was panting, she was covered his sweat, her body was shaking, she had never felt so sick, she couldn't remember being in such pain. She flushed the toilet and watched the swirl of the water, it made her dizzy just looking at it. Her eyes began to flutter and roll into the back of her head, but she gasped and shook her head, gasping for air as she prevented herself from fainting. She looked around frantically, getting a hold of her bearings. Her vision focused and she realized she was back in her bathroom, she looked back at the toilet. Her frizzed hair, baggy eyes, red cheeked reflection stared back at her. She sat up straight and closed her eyes, letting her heartbeat return to normal. She looked at her hands, her arms, everything was shaking. She wrapped them around her body and sat back down in confusion, and even a little bit afraid.
"What is wrong with me, what's going on here….?"
No, she had to be strong. She couldn't let some stomach bug, some cold, kick her when she was down. After a moment of re-cooperation, she cleared her throat, stood up, dusted her dress off, and with a steady breath, opened the door. She had thought she'd heard a knocking from in the living room, as she got towards the end of the hall, she saw Gohan open the door.
"Oh, hey Krillin." He greeted his friend.
"Hi." He mumbled, he was wearing a black sweatband on his arm in memory of Goku. He cleared his throat and glanced around as he spoke quietly, "Hey, I just wanted to know, um, if you know, uh… wanted to go fishing, AH for old time's sake! You know? Eh heh…."
"That would be a great idea!" Gohan beamed.
"Yeah, Goku would want that." Ox King nodded in agreement.
Chi-Chi's brow lowered in her exhaustion of hearing her belated husband's name.
"Hey mom."
"Hey Chi-Chi."
"Mom."
"Chi-Chi."
"Hey!"
"Huh…" Chi-Chi finally made some sign of life and glanced around, realizing that Gohan and her father had been calling her. "What?"
"Uh…" Gohan hesitated, realizing that something was wrong. He glanced up at his grandpa, then spoke, "We're all still pretty full from last night. So maybe Krillin, grandpa and I can go fishing for lunch. What do you think, can we go?"
"Yeah, can we?" Ox King asked his daughter as if she was the parent in the relationship.
"I promise I'll catch a REALLY big fish!" Gohan spread his arms as wide as they could go, then he froze and lowered his arms. "I mean, well, you know, not as big as dad's of course."
Krillin grimaced, it was hard to talk about happy things, because so many of those happy thoughts reminded them of Goku. Chi-Chi felt the same way, her eyes were dull, giving Gohan worry. But he didn't have time to calculate the thoughts, because Chi-Chi spoke back up.
"Sure, you guys go ahead. I've got some housework and cleaning to do before lunch anyway, so you guys have a fun time and go fishing. Just make sure you're back by noon, okay?"
"Okay!" Gohan nodded, wearing a grin again.
"Come on, let's go." Krillin motioned and he turned to go.
"Bye mom!" Gohan rushed after his friend.
"Alright, we're leaving now." Ox King crouched out of the door, then paused and glanced around. "Hey, are you sure you're going to be alright?" Chi-Chi hesitated, glancing away, her arms feeling like dead weights. "After such a horrible, uh incident, you've got a lot to deal with and a lot on your mind. Are you sure you want to be alone?"
A smile tugged at her lips as she tried to sound convincing, "Yeah, I'll be alright. And… and I'm not alone, remember?" She looked up at her father. "Goku is here with me, right?"
"Yeah." Ox King nodded. "Alright then, take care, we'll be back soon."
Ox King didn't want to leave, but he wanted to make his daughter happy, so he did as she wished and left her alone, closing the door behind him. But he still wasn't so sure, the face she looked up at him with, it was a face he hadn't seen in 20 years. It was the same face she gave him, after her mother dissapeared, his beloved wife, Mai.
"Come on, hurry up grandpa or you'll fall behind!" Gohan called as he and Krillin hurried towards the waterfall.
"Wait I'm coming, don't leave me." Ox King laughed as he reached up with them.
"Man, it's so hard, to try and laugh without Goku." Krillin spoke bluntly to the point.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Gohan smirked back.
"Well, then why can you smile?" Krillin blinked.
"Well… hmm. I guess it's because dad sounded so happy when he was telling us good bye. It was like, not a 'forever farewell', but an, 'I'll see ya later' kinda feeling. You know?"
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Krillin laughed. "I never thought about it before, but, that's just the way Goku is." He sighed. "That's just Goku for you."
"Yeah, we need to live you guys. He died so we could survive. He would want us to be happy, to live for him, to live like him. So you know what?" Gohan turned with a smile. "I'm gonna catch the biggest fish in the whole river, even BIGGER than dad ever did!" He ran to the water's edge and began to change. "Come on dad, help me out, lend me your fishing skills, and the strength to find the biggest fish and pull him to the surface." He took a deep breath and jumped in.
"Alright Goku, now I know Gohan asked for you help, but I need your help too." He looked down at the water, the ripples distorting his reflection. "I want your help to get an even bigger fish than Gohan."
"But Krillin, Goku can't do that." Ox King spoke up.
"Nu uh, that's where you're wrong." Krillin smirked, shaking his finger. "Gohan wanted to catch a bigger fish than Goku. I want to catch a bigger fish than Gohan. See I got them on a technicality here."
"But Gohan is Goku's son, surely he's going to help his own son catch the biggest fish. And if he catches the biggest fish, then what can you catch?"
"Well what about you, what are you going to catch?"
"Uh, I dunno…" Ox King began to think. "Maybe an eel, or a squid or something?"
"Eh…?"
Ox King laughed, "I was never good with fishing."
"Well, maybe Goku can help you learn."
"Well maybe Goku can help you learn how to grow some hair."
"Well maybe Goku could help you learn how to be polite."
"Well maybe Goku could help you learn how to take a joke."
"Well maybe Goku could help you learn how to tell one."
"Well maybe my dad could help me out of the river, since you two are bickering like little old ladies."
"Huh?" The duo turned to see Gohan floating in the water, holding onto the tail of a huge fish.
"What, you mean you caught one already!?" Krillin was flabbergasted.
"Yup!" Gohan shot a victory sign, a la Goku.
"Well, then I guess we both lost." Ox King shrugged.
"Well maybe my dad could also teach you to let your actions speak louder than words." Gohan winked. "If you hadn't been going back and forward this whole time, maybe you could've at least caught an appetizer for today's entre." He jumped out of the water, a huge fish at least three times as big as Goku, landed on the ground. "Oh, and just for the record, not only am I a good fisher, but I'm not too shabby with jokes either." He hoisted the fish over his shoulder and started back home.
Ox King picked up Gohan's clothes, "Well, that's Goku for ya."
"Huh, what do you mean?" Krillin blinked, glancing up at Ox King. "That's Gohan."
"Well, like father like son right? Gohan had to learn that somewhere."
"Yeah." Krillin smiled as they followed after Gohan. "That's just Goku for ya, to teach him."
Chi-Chi had spent all morning cleaning and taking care of chores around the house, but she wasn't alone or quiet with her thoughts as she had planned, because not much sooner than had the boys left than did her phone ring. On the other end was Bulma. She had been Goku's first friend, she had cared for him deeply, but she knew that if anyone else in the world had cared for Goku more than her, it would be his family, and most importantly, his wife Chi-Chi. They spent hours on the phone talking about Goku, about memories, about girl stuff, about kids, about shopping, about that one stupid new commercial that was everywhere on TV. But when it all got right down to it, every time they smiled or laugh, they were reminded of Goku and they stopped. Yet all in all, Chi-Chi couldn't help but feel better, like she wasn't alone. She didn't have Goku to talk to, and the voice may have been coming through a telephone wire, but she did have somebody there for her. She had her best friend Bulma there, somebody who knew Goku almost as much as she did. In the hours they spoke, the time seemed to fly, and soon the boys could be seen through the window.
"Well, looks like the boys are back alright." Chi-Chi said. "Wow. You should see the fish Gohan has!"
"Oh yeah?" Bulma chuckled. "Like father like son, I suppose. I just hope Trunks doesn't end up like Vegeta."
"Oh, like I told you before Bulma. Vegeta's not the father type, Trunks will be just fine, he'll turn out to be as smart as his mother, you just wait and see."
"Well your son is smarter than you isn't he? The way you brash. I'll want my son to be even smarter than me."
"Yeah, I think you're right. All parents want their children to be even better than they are. I want Gohan to be smarter than me, just like Goku wanted him to be stronger than him…" Chi-Chi had to stop, she had realized something, but also, the boys had just walked through the door.
"Hi mom." Gohan waved. "Check it out!"
"Hey honey." Ox King ducked inside. "Look, see, he caught it all by himself too."
"It's three times as big as an adult, it's huge!" Krillin laughed.
"Yeah." Chi-Chi smiled. "Anyway, I'll, uh call you back later on okay?"
"Alright, you take care now, and take it easy missy!" Bulma hung up, as did Chi-Chi.
"So, I guess you guys are hungry after that trip huh?" She walked over and brushed at Gohan's bangs. "Why don't you guys go wash up. I've got some of lunch already finished, so while you guys eat, I can work on the fish."
"That's alright mom, I…" Gohan hesitated, biting his lip for a moment. "I want to help you."
"What…?" Chi-Chi was in shock, NEVER had Gohan asked to help with cooking before.
"Dad always helped you, didn't he? Well, I can learn how to cook too." Gohan smiled, but Chi-Chi was still in shock. "I'm here mom too, remember? You're not alone anymore." He hugged her. "You'll never be alone mom, I won't ever leave you."
Chi-Chi choked, trying to fight back tears, "No, no Gohan you're right, I won't." She hugged him back and closed her eyes. "Thank you, my beautiful baby boy… no. My beautiful, big boy." Gohan smiled back up at her, giggling as he always did. "But first, wash up."
"Okay!" Gohan trotted off to the sink.
"Hmm. Hmm?" She glanced up to see Krilin and Ox King. She frowned, trying to get back into her stern state. "And what about you two lazy lumps? Are you going to help out too, or just help us eat?"
"Uh, I uh, I'm a guest, so… I'd best wash up…" Krillin stammered, backing up towards the bathroom, then taking off into a sprint. Chi-Chi then turned to her father.
"Well, uh, honey… you know me… I was never good when it came to cooking… you were always, uh, the chef of the house… so… uh….!" He backed up and followed after Krillin.
"Ugh. Oh well, boys will be boys I suppose."
She turned back to the kitchen to get to work. It felt good to be back into a routine, but it would be a very long time until it felt natural, like how it did when Goku was with her. Even when he was off in another world fighting aliens, at least Chi-Chi knew he would come back to her. But this time, he was off in another world, but he would not be coming back, not this time.
Lunchtime was pretty normal, well for being without Goku. Everyone talked and laughed just like old times. Even the fish tasted just as Goku's did. Gohan had helped in the kitchen, just as he'd promised, he even helped with the dishes. Chi-Chi was quiet through most of the meal, but she was actually enjoying herself, even just a little.
Afterwards, Gohan joined Krillin and Ox King in the living room to watch some TV. Hercule was on boasting about the Cell Games again. It made Chi-Chi sick, sicker than she ever felt before, sick, with rage. She hated that man, no, he wasn't a man, he was a beast… and even that would offend the cute little monsters in Gohan's old bedtime story books. She couldn't watch the debauchery anymore, she decided to go back to the bedroom to rest for a bit. She was completely drained. Was it because she slept so poorly? Or was she in fact getting sick? Was she stressing herself out so bad that her mourning was actually making her sick? The angst and anguish of her husband's death was affecting her physical health. Whatever it was, she felt terrible, more than she ever felt before. But what was the saddest of all, was that even when she felt bad, even if she was sick, she could always go to bed and cuddle with Goku to feel better. And now, she couldn't.
