Disclaimer: I'm not the owner of Ugly Betty….
I found out that my only love deosn't love me anymore, and is just attracted because he is just longing for lust....Then 2 years after the heartbreak my dad died because of an heart attack, my mom who was lonely, looked and found another man... after a month of marriage she got cancer and died slowly painful... my brother, you might ask, grew to be much more lucky than me, he now have a family of his own... As usual I'm still alone and forlorn, back to my old self... The" no faith, UGLY Betty".
But i still ask myself....
Can I be just like them?
A person who can be seen just by standing in the middle of the crowd,
or someone who can be respect with just a simple glance?
Can I?
Will it come true?
As I walk yesterday nothing change, people are still looking at me and laughing out loud. The mockery still keeps on going, like humans eat food… Are they not used to me till now? I've tried to change once, but still, it's not me… so last night, before I slept I wished upon mars to let something bad happen to me, bad but would be better for me... or maybe not me but to others that would let them accept me… maybe an acid rain that would burn their faces… a big tidal wave, it will be better if it was a tsunami… or something that can happen overnight that would let them feel sorry for the bad things they have done and the ridicule they did to me... I just can't hide it anymore, i smile with my big braces and hoped that they would smile back at me, but they never did... i try to be kind fulfilling my virtue as a christian, but the demon inside a person would not just stay inside it will also come out... and now I want to burst my ire, release it to the universe, but i just can't... so i wish, dream, HOPE that the lord will be kind to me or the demon will be the one who will take revenge for me... then and only then, i will be happy....
I woke up, but it's just like any days... I showered and i felt the low temperature out&inside me... as it covers my body i also felt the pain, then slowly, i sat on the floor. Unexpectedly, hot, salty water came running down my face,it made me happy a little, to feel the warmth of it, a tiny liquid of care out of the cold... so i let it flow... i just need to let it flow...
After, i went to my closet to find a dress to wear but all i saw was only colored dresses that has no value, every color that should be bright now just seem so plain... it was so gay, i can't believe i wore it... so i just picked my old black skirt that for me symbolizes the dark and t-shirt with white laces that states emptiness or blankness...then as usual i would put on my ragged stockings and my shoes that was prevalent in the older times... My eye glass, the thing that let me saw the dreadful world I'm now standing at. I then ate, not filling my stomach because it might release something good later...
I went out to the darkness again, left my sanctuary and worked ... i have a new job now as a porn film manager, it might be the ugliest and the most filthiest job, but it's the only thing i was accepted... for no one in this world would make me work in their business, they say "i am not presentable" enough for them and I can only work "OFF CAM"... sometimes they say to go to the temple of Venus and ask for a little beauty or to Psyche the wife of cupid to know what cosmetics she uses, then i can be employed... so i just told myself, i may be underemployed atleast i have a job...
Who would acknowledge a person like me, huh? I'm a monster...
My job finished at 5:30pm, and as they say everyday "the best porn film has been finished"... i walked again in the street remembering the past days i felt beautiful but it was all a joke, it really didn't happened... did it? Once again the sea fell out of my eyes when i remember it.
While walking the people looked and maked fun of me again...So, i just closed my eyes and wished...
I wish...
My wish...
Pls. let it come true...
Then suddenly, out of the blue...i heard a sound of a breaking truck and it's horns..."beep, beep..." and then "boosh" a girl was hit and all the persons around that area went near her.. someone called the ambulance, the police, some faint and some was disgusted about the girls face... soon the ambulance came and took the girl... I don't know why but i went with her because she seemed sad all alone like me while laying there...As we reached the hospital the doctors gave her pumping and it worked miraculously, but she was still in the case of 50:50 and in a comma, i might add...
As i went near her i took a glance of her face that face that i deemed to know back then, i looked at her clearly touching her hair that was so curly and full of slit ends, her face that has been damaged by the accident... then a man came inside and he also looked familiar, then i realized it was my brother... he didn't notice me at all and went straight to the girl that had the accident... and then he cried that made me want to cry too... Suddenly i remembered the girl that was next to me...Her lips moved a bit and slightly smiled, i was thinking maybe she had a good dream...
It's been 1hour; it's time for me to go because it was getting late... I then said goodbye, hugged my little brother and kissed the girl on the forehead... Went out the door, down the stairs and out of the hospital... I just want to go home now... While walking, unpredictably, people changed around me, they did not look at me anymore as i pass by them, as if I'm just another person... after that accident everything changed, no one would stare at me oddly... I always smile now while saying to myself...
I love this feeling, I am now happy...
My wish came true...
(R.I.P.)Hope you liked it! ;)
