NOTES:

ALL HUMAN

KINDA ONE SHOT

HUMOUR

DEDICATED TO iliyanamoone FOR THE IDEA

THIS ISN'T THE SEQUEL TO THE BLOCKED TOILET

ALICE'S POV

DON'T OWN TWILIGHT

AND OF COURSE, ENJOY . . .

I got my first period! Just Now! I texted my best friend, lexi.

At 16? she texted back

SHUT UP! JUST CAUSE YOU WAS 9 WHEN YOU FIRST GOT YOURS! I'M A LATE BLOOMER SO HA! ANYWAY WHAT DO I DO WITH THE USED TAMPON?

get rid of it duh!

OKAY- ah shit my phone just died on me!

I changed my tampon and held the old one in my hand. How do you get rid of it?

I would go ask my mom but that's just gross ; a grown woman ( I may only be 16 but i'm still a grown woman so shut up and stop laughing at me ) asking her mom how to get rid of a tampon! Na ah!

And also, there are loads of boys wandering around so it will seem even grosser to go downstairs with a tampon in my hand.

IN THIS STORY ALICE, EMMETT AND EDWARD ARE SIBLINGS AND THE REST ARE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIENDS. JASPER AND ROSALIE ARE STILL TWINS AND THIS IS STILL CANNON OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT.

I decided to just flush it down the toilet because that seemed like the easiest way.

I closed the lid, like always, so the water wouldn't spray every where and pulled the chain.

FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well that took long.

I opened the lid, ready for next time, and it was still in there. HUH?

I ripped a few pieces of the loo roll off and flushed it again.

ARGH it's still there!

I unrolled half the loo roll and dropped it in.

FLUSHH! Still there!

The other half went in.

FLUSHH! Still there.

ARGH! NOW MY TOLIETS EVEN MORE BLOCKED!

I ran to Edwards room and burst in.

I ripped his headphones off.

"Hey Eddy! Can you help me? Pleeeeeeease? Pwetty please?" I begged putting on my famous puot that no one could resist.

"What do you want, Pixie?" he said, clearly annoyed that i disturbed his relaxing time.

"Um . . . my bathroom toilets blocked!"

"Okay."

He went into my bathroom and grabbed a ugly brownish plunger that every one has and is so out of fashion and some stretchy yellow gloves that are way to bright and again every one has them. Hmm i made a mental note to pick up some pink ones when i next went to the mall. He then shoved the ugly plunger into the toilet bowl and began unclogging it.

"Alice there better not be a shit load of crap in here! Why did you ask me? Couldn't you have asked Emmett?!" he complained just as Emmett walked in.

Emmett plonked himself inside the bath-tub . . . wait a minute, inside the bath-tub? This kid is so random! He must of been dropped as a baby!

"Hey Ed! Dare ya to pull out whatever nasty thing that's in there!"

OH CRAP! I FORGOT MY TAMPON WAS INSIDE THERE! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Ew, noo!" phew, he's not gonna do it!

"Pussy!" Oh crap, this is Emmetts way of making Edward do things!

"Okay Okay, peer pressure much?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, HE'S GONNA DO IT!

"Um guys, I don't think thats a very good idea!" I said wishing I asked my mom.

But nobody was listening to me!

Just then, Jasper and Rosalie ( my boyfriend and Emmett's ), walked in to see why we was making so much noise and i'm pretty sure that soon my dad Carlisle would come up here as well which would be really embarrassing.

They laughed at Edwards face as he groped around obviously looking for whatever they thought was down there. Well it's definately not what they think.

Gagging, he pushed his hand in deeper and pulled out my dripping BLOOD STAINED TAMPON!

"ARGH!" he screamed throwing it at Jasper who was the closest to him.

"ARGH!" jasper shrieked, running around my bathroom with it on his shoulder.

Edward, trying to be the night in shining armour, rushed forward with his ugly plunger and knocked it off and it fell on Rosalie's lap.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" she shrieked. Here comes my favourite words: Oh Crap! I'm gonna get a beating from her later.

Rosalie picked it off, giving me a death glare, and threw it at Emmett where it fell in his hair.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY HAIR! MY POOOR POOOOR HAIR!" he shrieked and lept out of the bath-tub.

I saw my dad walk to the door but it was too late.

Emmett threw it like a grenade right into Carlisle's pissed face. Oh crap!

AND THAT WAS ALICES POV TO THE BLOCKED TOILET. CHECK OUT THE BLOCKED TOILET IF YOU WANT.

THIS IS NOT THE SEQUEL BUT THE SEQUEL IS BEING MADE/WRITTEN IN MY FREE TIME.

REVIEW AND I NEED TO GOOOOOOOOOO . . .

:)

RAHIMA