Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.

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Please Be Quiet in the Library

It was only his second week working at the library but his fellow librarians had already labeled Feliciano Vargas as a lost cause. He couldn't file alphabetically for his life. When he was supposed to be finding a book about pest control, he was distracted by a book about pasta recipes. He led a child in circles looking for a video about small cartoon characters teaching addition. The only thing keeping him from being absolutely fired was the stubborn way he kept trying despite failing at so many other things that out of the kindness of their hearts, no one could ever think of pulling the plug on him.

Still, he was rather useless at everything else. They (the library staff) decided the best way to nip it in the bud without outwardly giving Feliciano nothing to do was to assign the boy to care for the VHS and tape cassette sections, which have not been frequented since the rise of the DVD, Blu-ray, iPod, and other high tech kingdoms. He would still have some old timers who wanted an old Sinatra record so Feliciano could have some human contact but often times, he would just hum his way back and forth through the aisles, making sure things were in order and no birds built their nests and no foxes built their dens.

The day started out perfectly normal; in fact, a mother had just uncovered her record player and was trying to find records to play on it as her old ones had gotten sold. After helping her out, he was just keeping all the records in order when the blonde menace who had gotten him this job in the first place through lies and extortion appeared down the aisle. Feliciano could feel the terrifying aura and hid it through fake friendliness.

"Ludwig~!" Because Feliciano did not have a mean bone in his body, he went up to greet Ludwig Beilschmidt, German terror of the neighborhood, unaware of the dangers of such close contact. Today, the kraut merely grunted at the greeting and shoved Feliciano against the shelves of cassettes. Before Feliciano could cry out, Ludwig shoved his tongue forcefully into his mouth, with no politeness that marks a civilized human being. He proceeded to touch Feliciano in places where no person with the last name of Beilschmidt should be allowed to touch on Feliciano, much less anyone. It was basically rape through clothing and without forced penetration.

Although Feliciano did not like such attention from someone as unsavory as Ludwig, he is a normal man; a stupid pubescent teenage man, but a man still the same. He could not call for help since the conniving bastard kept his mouth on Feliciano's at all times. It was a slow day and no one ordinarily went to the record section so there would be no one to check on them and by the time video surveillance was viewed, the deed would have been done. Perceiving Feliciano's normal bodily reactions as a green light, the bastard reached for Feliciano's fly and

"That's not going to happen," Antonio interrupted, frowning skeptically. "Ludwig's a good kid and he wouldn't rape someone in the library."

"You don't know!" Romano insisted, nearly throwing the tomato-carrot-apple smoothie at the boy sitting next to him (admittedly, he had only gotten the drink since it was the only thing with tomatoes in it on the menu). "I wouldn't be surprised if that kid got into anything like that…dammit! I knew I shouldn't have told you Feliciano wanted a job!" He stuck the straw in his mouth and tried to find happiness in a mouthful of health drink, oblivious of the way Antonio's eyes started to sparkle watching him.

"I'd only mentioned it briefly to Gilbert…I didn't think the library had any openings. And besides, Ludwig and Feli are friends, aren't they? Don't they hang out all the time?"

"No! Ludwig's only there because he wants to get in Feliciano's pants!" Romano slammed the now empty cup of smoothie on the pavement, no happier than before. "When he'd heard my little brother needed a job, he used those weird brain cells of his to formulate a connection between his own job and Feliciano's lack of one!"

"For someone who thinks he's a quote-unquote (at this time, Antonio used air quotes, which only served to piss Romano off more) 'bastard', you give him an awful amount of credit."

"I should have never even mentioned it," Romano sniffed. He would have walked away, but where would he have gone? It was summer, the house was stuffy, the mall was the spot for underage children with no access to a car (so he couldn't drive yet! Shut up!), and Antonio would have caught up to him to bother him even if he'd stood up and stormed away from the curb. It was…nice sitting in front of Antonio's house doing nothing, but damn his family if he was going to admit it…!

"Anyway, Roma…" Antonio started stirring the straw around in his drink in a very thoughtful way that made Romano shift away a bit. "You were rather…descriptive when you were describing this rhetorical event…you want to…try it out?"

"Pervert…! I'll…I'll break up with you!"

[=]

Feliciano hummed happily to himself, hiding behind the shelving cart in the teenage section (an oxymoron in life; he could count on his fingers how many teenagers he knew that actually read novels still), thumbing away at a silver DS. He had muted the game system and was holding in his excitement that he was actually going to beat this gym leader…he'd been having so much trouble since he'd gotten the fire starter…

"Feliciano. What are you doing."

Stifling a startled squeak, Feliciano jumped and turned around, closing the DS and clutching it to his chest protectively. "Oh, it's only you, Ludwig. Whew! If Dana caught me like this, she'd kill me!" Turning back to his game, Feliciano clicked the DS open before Ludwig reached down and closed it again. "Aw, come on, Ludwig~!"

"Where did you get that?"

"I had Kiku lend it to me. He said if I could finish it in a month, he'd lend me Harvest Moon next! Ooh, that game is so fun even if all you do is farm. The girl characters you can marry are so cute!"

"You're supposed to be shelving," Ludwig reminded him, nodding at the shelving carts full of books that Feliciano was leaning against.

Feliciano glanced at them. Then back at the DS. Then up at Ludwig. "But you'll help me, right? Cause we're friends?"

Ludwig considered slapping his hand against his forehead, but he'd done that very often when he first met Feliciano and it did no good but to give him a bruise (and an older brother who threatened to beat up whoever did that to him). The easiest and painless way was to agree. "…I guess."

"Yay!" Slipping the DS in his pocket, Feliciano let up to give Ludwig a hug but the blonde easily side-stepped him and took a handful of books. As the Italian watched, he expertly found all three author sections and slipped the books into the shelves. "Wow, you're so good at shelving! It takes me fifteen minutes to find where to put one book and about half an hour if there aren't any other books by the same author!"

Ludwig resisted the urge to knock his head against the shelves. "Feliciano. We are both going to be seventeen by the time school starts again. Please tell me you know the alphabet."

"What's that?" As Ludwig's look of horror seemed to grow, Feliciano grinned. "I'm just messing with you! Of course I know! It's just…I don't do it when they give me a cart so they just add up and I've got to do so much when I actually do it!" Grabbing an armful of books from a cart, Feliciano stared at the spine. "Levithan. L for linguini."

Ludwig pointed to a space close by and Feliciano bounced (literally bounced; Ludwig worried for the books as they shifted in the twin's arm) over. When he straightened up again, Ludwig was confused to see that somehow they had shifted closer. "L for Ludwig, too!"

"Yes. Dana is going to yell at you again if you don't…"

"…use my indoor voice, yes. What does she think I am, five!" Feliciano scoffed and looked down at the book in hand. "Moore. M for manicotti."

"Right next to L." Feliciano shelved and Ludwig was starting to catch onto how Feliciano was doing a bit of a shuffle-step whenever he straightened up. "What are you doing now."

"What?" Feliciano feigned innocence as he looked up from the book. "Knowles. K for…um…spaghetti." Feliciano could be fast, Ludwig realized, as he had not even had the chance to step aside as Feliciano lunged for the K's, which happened to be at his hip. The book slid right into a convenient opening and Ludwig found himself chest-to-chest with a very eager brunette.

"Oop!" Ludwig felt his face flush and knew Feliciano would misunderstand again. Just because it was normal to flush when you were embarrassed (and who wouldn't be, with these sorts of displays of affection!) didn't mean you necessary harbored romantic feelings for whoever you were flushing at. Feliciano was now leaning up to him, nearly dropping the books he was still holding, but Ludwig had the advantage of height and quickly reached over to grasp the boy's shoulders to keep him down. "Ludwig!"

"Feliciano. We've talked about this before."

"Yes, I know, but I've told you how I feel and you know how I feel and you keep saying you'll think about it, but you never say if you like me back too!" Feliciano made his lip quiver in a way that made even his brother give in. Romano could be a wall unless you were Feliciano or Antonio. "I thought that you pulling strings to let me work with you was like a confession or something!"

"I just wanted to help you out."

"You make me look like a clingy stalker!" Feliciano looked ready to throw the books he had and Ludwig did not want to say that Feliciano was a clingy stalker. He had once looked out his window one night and saw Feliciano riding his bike past his house. Feliciano had all the right intentions but it could be a little too forward for someone who had traditional values. And it was true; Ludwig wasn't trying to be mean; he didn't know how he felt yet. Pushing it seemed like a bad idea.

"Just…give me a little more time. Please?"

"Just what exactly decided that it was gossip time in the teen section?" Dana, the strict manager of the summer librarians had materialized in all her evil glory behind Ludwig. "Save the drama for the stage, boys. I need those books in the shelves in five or I will shelve you."

What exactly being shelved meant was unclear but it was enough to make Feliciano jump to attention and Ludwig scurry out of the way. Dana gave Feliciano a quick talking-to as Ludwig watched from a couple yards away. Ludwig had been working long enough for Dana to know his reliability but Feliciano had not been so good to prove himself. Feliciano caught his eye for a moment and smiled sheepishly.

It wasn't just friendship, he thought, that made him feel nervous around Feliciano. He'd never really entertained the thought of being in a relationship with one of his friends. There was really no one to ask. Gilbert would make fun of him before sulking for hours in his room for losing both chances at a Vargas (one to his friend, one to his brother). Kiku would listen and would ultimately be unhelpful (the way the boy's mouth twitched whenever he saw Antonio and Romano was enough for Ludwig to vow never to talk about intimacies). He would settle it his own way.

He ought to start simple. Ask Feliciano for coffee or something. Something that didn't immediately scream friends, that's all we are. He'd have to try out the scene without committing first. Feliciano would understand.

Although the library's rules dictated no personal reading on the job, Ludwig had a feeling that despite his vow of never venturing into the area, he would have to pay a visit to the help section, specifically dating advice.

(He didn't have a very good feeling about it, admittedly).

Owari

Note: I cannot emphasize how much I suddenly adore stalker!Italy. A couple of things: first, Romano has not been to the library recently so he does not know normal neighborhood libraries do not have record sections anymore. Second, if you are part of the handful of people that still do read, I recommend anything by David Levithan, Hero by Perry Moore, and A Separate Peace by John Knowles (my luck all their last names were close to each other). Third, I jacked my sister's Diamond so for you Poke-fans…also Harvest Moon! Love!

This was originally planned to involve politician!Ludwig and secretary!Feli dealing with red-light district business but I didn't want to be wrong/controversial/OOC (Feli was BADLY OOC). So there. Thanks for reading guys. I love writing about summer jobs, despite how mine is a fail.