Home

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc… I'm not using this for money… Yatsa, yatsa, and yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Aleeza Noellesen and Nickolas Francisco Noellesen. I also own Emily, Bob, Zillah, and Sadie.

-*-*-

Daddy Dearest

Part One

-*-*-

July 7th, 2000

Nickolas Noellesen looked at the driveway in front of him. His twin sister, Xan Noellesen, was seated beside him, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Georgians. Peter had decided to allow the family to come visit the twins, even though setbacks dictated that they shouldn't be coming.

Peter and Sophie were standing behind them, curious what this reunion would be like. After the reunion between Xan and Shelby, the two adults wondered if Xan would speak again or laugh again. Something that a week after Shelby was re-settled in her bunk, had disappeared. Xan neither laughed nor smiled nor talked. Her grades went back to what they had been since her arrival and Peter now hoped that a visit would make both Xan and Nick happier – possibly even participate in activities again.

Sophie sighed, thinking of the twins. Since their return after Xan's attempt on her own life, all the adults had been trying to cut the strings the bound the two. Unfortunately, all their efforts simply stressed them, and all though the strings weren't as tight as before, they were still there. School schedules had been rearranged so that they were never in the same classes, except for lunch. Sophie had thought it was a drastic measure, but then again, Horizon was a place that parents thought of as a drastic measure. She had accepted it, though the first two weeks of their new schedules had Xan crying every morning.

"There." Nick said, pointing to the car heading up the road. He waved and Emily waved back. The car came to a stop and the twins walked over as Emily and Bob got out of the car. The four had a group hug, before Xan pulled away to get Sadie and Zillah from the car. She opened the back door and looked at three-year old Zillah Anne Georgian, and then one-year old Sadie Jane Georgian.

"Xannie!" Zillah yelled and flew out from under the seatbelt. She latched onto the teen and giggled as Xan tickled her, "Missed you."

"Missed you, too." Xan said, a huge smile on her face.

Peter breathed in, and smiled. He looked at the twins, "Sophie and I are going to talk to Emily and Bob inside. Why don't you take Sadie and Zillah on a tour of the campus?"

Nick nodded, "Okay."

-*-*-

"They look like they've made some progress." Bob said. He was a tall thirty-ish man, with dark brown hair and milk chocolate brown eyes.

"They have. Although lately, it seems that they've gone two steps forward, one step back." Peter replied.

Emily looked up, "At least, they've gone forward. At home, they only got worse, as is evident by their files." She smiled, "They're happier then the last time we saw them." She banished the thought of Xan in the hospital bed with thick bandages around her wrists.

Peter nodded. He had to agree, next to Shelby's return, this was the happiest that Xan had been, and this was the happiest Nick had been since the twins' arrival at Horizon.

"So, I know I shouldn't ask, but when can they come home?" Emily asked.

"I don't know." Peter replied, "It's hard to tell. It maybe another year or maybe six months. The twins' behavior is so erratic that no one knows when something's about to happen. It's hard to predict when their grades will slip or when they'll skip classes or when they're so upset that they do something drastic."

Sophie looked up, "They're a handful sometimes. But they are good mostly. They are really very talented and they are both very smart. Last week, Nick handed in an essay for English that was A+ work if not better. His writing, I swear when I saw it I thought it was copied until I saw the references to Xan and Sadie. And on the fourth, Xan went horseback riding. I was amazed at how well she could do jumps and control the horse. She even helped a disabled little girl get on the horse and lead her around."

Emily smiled, "Xan loves horses. When the twins first came to stay with us four years ago, Xan's dream was to own a ranch and teach little kids with disabilities how to ride. Then things went bad." Emily sighed and then smiled again, "Nickolas wanted to be a writer."

Bob looked at Peter, "How are their grades? I know that it will be at least another two weeks before we get their report cards, but I'd like to know now."

Peter got up and grabbed the papers from off the bulletin board. He looked at Xan's, "She was doing good when Shelby was away. She apparently tries to block out her emotions by putting her back up against her schoolwork, and then when Shelby came back, her grades went back down. The temporary good work did have an effect on her grades. Most of them have been pulled up from F's to D's." He handed Emily Xan's report card, and then looked at Nick's, "Nick's grades haven't changed since he started school. C's in half his classes, D's in the other half, except for English. He's got an A in that." He handed Bob Nickolas' report card. The two looked them over, and then put the papers back on Peter's desk.

Sophie looked at Peter, "Why don't we go find the twins?"

Peter nodded his head, "Sure." He looked up at the clock; "They should be in lunch now."

-*-*-

The small group of adults wandered into the lodge after checking the cafeteria and not finding the twins. However, Jeff had said that they were walking around with Sadie and Zillah, introducing them to everyone, which made Emily happy because it meant that they were talking.

Peter scanned the room and noticed that Nick and Xan were sitting on one of the couches with Sadie and Zillah sitting at the table in front of them. The two small children were coloring with markers on scraps of paper – or rather Zillah was drawing and Sadie was scribbling lines. Shelby, Scott, and Daisy were seated on the other couch; Kat and Auggie were playing with the little children, while Juliette colored with the markers herself. Ezra was sitting on the floor beside Juliette, leaning on the chair behind him, reading a book.

Peter walked over, followed by the other three, "Hey. So I see everyone's enjoying Sadie and Zillah's company."

Each person flashed a smile – something not done often by all of them. Juliette looked at Zillah and pushed a pick of paper to her.

"Pretty!" Zillah exclaimed in her small voice, "Who's that?" She asked.

"That's you." Juliette replied, with a smile.

Zillah's smile widened and she looked at Sadie. She began to talk to her sister in another language.

"Zillah." Her mother said, "I told you twice already. Sadie has to learn English. Then you talk to her in Geo again."

Kat was curious, and looked at Emily, "Geo?"

"Short for Georgian. It's a language that Zillie uses to talk to her sister." Emily replied.

Kat nodded her head, and looked at Xan. The teen was squished into the corner of the couch, her eyes transfixed on the two children.

"So, who hasn't had lunch yet?" Peter asked, placing a hand on Xan's shoulder.

Xan looked up, "Me." She looked at Nick, who sighed.

"Okay. Who else?"

Juliette looked up, "Me either."

"I didn't." Shelby said, which sent the rest of the Cliffhangers into a chorus of "Me".

"Well, come on then. We've got to run through the obstacle course before dinner and you guys are going to need your energy."

The group rose from their spots and stretched. Xan picked up Sadie, and Juliette took Zillah by the hand, before following the rest of the teens out of the lodge.

-*-*-

Peter pushed two tables together, as the teens headed over to sit down. Scott and Shelby took seats beside each other, while Juliette sat down and then put Zillah in a seat beside her. Auggie sat across from Juliette, Ezra and Kat sat on either side of him, with Peter at the head of the table. Xan sat down next to Zillah, with Sadie in her lap, and Nick next to her. Daisy sat next to him, and Bob sat across from her with Emily at the end of the table.

"Well, this looks good." Emily said, smiling, and she received snickers from the kids. Xan smiled as she shoved a spoonful of soup in her mouth, and then gave a little to Sadie. Xan opened the pack of crackers that she had and handed one to the toddler, who ate it greedily.

"I'll take her if you want, Ale." Emily reverted to her nickname for Xan, and received a small glare.

"Nah. I got her." Xan replied, annoyed that now others knew the stupid nickname that she had. Or at least she thought it was stupid.

"Okay." The rest of the lunch was eaten in silence.

-*-*-

Zillah looked across the bed to the crib. Neither girl was one to sleep long, and as usual, both were up and enjoying making faces at each other – or rather Zillah was having fun making Sadie laugh. Eventually, Zillie looked over at the clock and saw that it was only five am. She sighed and crawled back underneath the blanket. She knew that something bad had befallen her sister and her brother. She was only three but she had always known that they were only happy when they felt safe. They never felt safe.

-*-*-

July 8th, 2000

"Xan. Hey, time to get up." Sophie's voice called through the teen's dreams.

For the last month, Xan had slept in the Lodge with Kat or Sophie or Shelby (once she returned), due to her suicide attempt and something that had followed. During group, Xan managed to undo some of the stitches and had Peter not noticed, she would have completely pulled them out of her skin. Two more weeks sleeping in the Lodge.

"Xan. Come on, honey. You have to get up. Peter says he wants to talk to you and Nick before we go out onto the lake."

Xan rolled over and looked at Sophie. The woman was barely awake from what the teen could tell, and figured Sophie hadn't seen her face. But Sophie's face suddenly creased with worry, and Xan realized that Sophie could see the teen's red eyes and the tear streaks.

"Honey, what is it?" Sophie asked, grabbing for both of Xan's wrists on automatic.

Xan pulled away and then sighed as she put her wrists up. Both were fine making Sophie more curious why Xan had been crying even though she cried a lot.

"Xan, come on. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone."

"Promise?" Xan asked meekly.

"I promise." Sophie said, and then moved to hold Xan and rock as had become habit.

Xan gathered her wits and took a deep breath before continuing, "I was bad. When I was little. I was bad."

"I don't think so."

"Daddy. He…" Xan couldn't go on. She touched her face, as though she could still feel the sting of his hand on her face. She looked down at her feet, she would never say the rest – never.

-*-*-

Peter watched the couple sit down to watch and possibly participate in group that morning. The family had arrived just after breakfast, and after Peter was satisfied that the twins were okay, he had led the Cliffhangers to the dock.

"The dock?" Nick said, curious.

"Yes, the dock. It's a nice day. Besides, you guys have been spending too much time in the Lodge as is." Peter answered.

Nick shrugged his shoulders and sat across from Xan, so Sophie wouldn't sit between them. Each found a spot to sit and then Peter began.

"Today, I figured we'd start by saying something positive. About yourselves. Let's start with…umm…"

"Sophie." Xan said, smiling brightly as a façade. She definitely did not want to do this.

Sophie was taken by surprise, but sighed and thought for a second, "I'm smart. How's that?"

"That's good." Peter said, and looked at Nick, "Your turn."

"I can write."

Peter smiled. At least he knew it. 'Maybe their visit wasn't a bad idea?' He thought.

Juliette looked up, "I'm good enough." She smiled, and was happy about saying it. It sounded good out loud.

The rest of the group went and it came to Xan. She thought for a few minutes, and then calmly answered.

"Nothing."

-*-*-

Xan sat at the table with Zillah. The three-year old was happily coloring on paper with watercolors this time, although most of the paint was winding up on the table and not the paper.

"Xannie?"
"What, Zillions?"

Zillah looked up at her 'sister', "Why don't you feel safe?"

Xan looked at the child. 'How could she possibly know that?' Xan thought that no one knew that she didn't feel safe. She never had. Not even as a child. She doubted that she felt safe when she was an infant. "I…umm…I don't feel safe, because…"

"Because of your father." Peter said, sitting down beside Xan.

"Sophie said she wouldn't tell."

"She didn't. Nick did. He heard you tell Sophie and he came and talked to me." Peter paused, "Emily and Bob decided that they need to get home. They're leaving tonight."

Bob walked over at that moment, and took Zillah from Xan. He sat down beside her.

"Leaving."

Bob nodded at what she had said, "Yes. Not because you, Xan. Believe me it's not you or Nicky. We just have to get home." He pulled the hair from her eyes, "The judge reviewed your record and what Peter had said, and he just called my office to get in touch with me to say that Emily and I have to fill out the paperwork for you and Nick's adoption. Came through just in time didn't it?" He smiled. The twins' seventeenth birthday had just passed – another year and they would've been too old for Emily and Bob to say they legally were the twins' parents.

Xan nodded her head, and turned back to painting. Bob sighed at her sudden attempt to block him out, and got up.

"I'll see you and Nicky later, okay?"

Silence.

"I love you, Xannie." He said, and then kissed her forehead. He walked away, leaving Peter and Xan alone.

"What happened, Xan?" Peter asked again.

"Nothing." She said, and then got up to go back to the dorm, 'Isn't that the story of my life, Daddy dearest?'

-*-*-

Cassie Jamie

NoahXfiles@aol.com

Please Review!