Note: This story takes place as a replacement for the final scene of Season 3, Episode 6: The Real World
John wondered where Elizabeth had gone. She had been through an ordeal inside her own mind; the Asurans had tricked her into believing the Atlantis Expedition – even the SGC – did not exist. She was stronger than she looked and she, with their help, had figured it out. But he had trouble believing she wanted to be alone after that.
He found her in the control room.
"Still up, huh?"
"Oh, hey," She smiled at him quickly, and then looked away. He noticed that the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, I wasn't… all that keen to go back to sleep just yet."
"Understandable."
The smile was more genuine this time. She held out her hand. "Walk with me?" He shrugged and followed her through the corridors of Atlantis to her quarters.
She locked the door and turned to face him. She took a deep breath. "John… can you stay with me tonight? I… I don't think I can stand to be alone right now."
"Do you want me to get Dr. Beckett?"
She shook her head. "I don't need a doctor. I need a friend. Just a friend… but I should warn you. I'm very likely to cry." She gave a half-laugh. It didn't sound any more genuine than her smile had looked, and he wanted to cry himself at the expression on her face. He gave her that cocky little grin, and held out his arms, and then enfolded her in them. She sighed – a long, shuddering half-sob – and then she wept. He stroked her hair, murmuring soothingly now and again. But mostly he just held her while she cried.
Eventually the quaking sobs subsided. She took a step back. "Thank you."
"Anytime."
She surprised him then. She took his hand, and without saying a word, drew him toward her. "Do you know what I really felt? Despair. John, I've had to do some horrible things. I've had to send people out to their deaths. I've had to approve the torture of living beings. But nothing – nothing – was as awful as thinking it all wasn't real. Show me it's real, John." And she kissed him.
Hours later, lying in a tangle of sheets and limbs, he smiled at her. "You know this doesn't prove it's real either."
She shook her head. "Don't. Don't say it. It feels real. For now, that's real enough for me".
