I saw her across the room as she snuck into the party, quietly closing the front door behind her. The shock of seeing her stops me in my tracks, my arm halting halfway between raising the cup and taking a sip of the drink in my hand. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised she was here; it was after all her mom's neighbor's house. But I had blocked the possibility of seeing her again out of my mind, refusing to think about it either way. The thought had popped into my head a few weeks ago when my mom had told me about this gathering, old friends gathering the night before New Years to reconnect and celebrate, but I had immediately pushed the thought aside. Pretending I didn't care either way hurt a lot less than thinking about what I might say to her if I did see her. Besides, I hadn't seen her in three years, hadn't heard her name in 2 years. As far as I knew, she didn't exist anymore in this world, in Albuquerque, in my life.
I hadn't seen her since 2015. July 12th, 2015 to be exact. We had just come back from a weekend in Martha's Vineyard, a romantic weekend getaway, just the two of us, celebrating her graduation from Stanford Law School. Top of her class, 188 on her bar exam, so beautiful that people stared when we walked down the street (although she always claimed they were looking at me), my brilliant girlfriend was going to be a lawyer. She had accepted a full time position at Harris-Ginsberg, a top LA family law firm that she had been working at for the past year. They specialized in custody and divorce cases, and the stories Gabi would tell would break her heart. But my Gabi had always been trying to make things easier for the families, for the children.
No, not my Gabi. She wasn't my Gabi anymore. She was just Gabriella, my ex girlfriend.
July 12th. We had gotten back late from the Vineyard, our last free weekend before her job started and I had to report to training camp for the Lakers. I had been drafted right out of college. I had been recruited since I was a freshmen but my mother had always made me promise to finish school and being in school meant I had more time for myself, more time for Gabi. As long as I didn't get hurt, the NBA could wait. And as much as people around me told me so, I wasn't always sure that was my destiny. But, Gabi encouraged me the whole way and let me make the choice for myself. So when I waited and entered the draft my senior year and went as the 3rd pick to LA, I was ecstatic. Gabi was going to be in LA, I was in LA, we had a plan.
That plan had a big step that weekend in the Vineyard. I had proposed Saturday evening; on the back porch of the house we had rented overlooking the water. I had waited till she finished law school; I knew how important that was for her. My career had taken off and she had been there for me the whole way, just as I always wanted to be there for her. That season had been a success, winning MVP on a team that had made the championship but had lost in game 7. Gabi had been at as many games as she could, sometimes sneaking her textbooks into the suite the player's wives and girlfriends used, but she had been there. I used to tease her about being the only girlfriend who would bring flashcards to a basketball game, but I stayed up every night before a test drilling her torts and contract regulation and constitutional methods, words I hadn't even thought of for 3 years. We made a good team, we always had.
Gabi and I were often photographed together, out and about in LA. The "basketball superstar and the law student" the captions would read. Gabi used to even get offers to model or do commercials but she always demurred, that wasn't her scene. We tried to keep our lives as private as possible but every now and then Chad would email us clippings that the press had gotten of us, often fuming that we couldn't keep our hands off each other in public.
Chad, who after blowing his knee out sophomore year at U of A, had majored in sports management and public relations, becoming one of the best agents a guy could ask for. While I was currently the biggest name on his client list, I wasn't the only one anymore, Chad having signed a bunch of big name and up and coming athletes in the last 6 years while Taylor ran their agency with precision. Chad and Taylor who had gotten married right out of college and were expecting their first child in a few months. Taylor, at 6 months pregnant was sitting on the couch in the middle of the room with Chad hovering behind her, his hand holding hers as it lay on her shoulder, talking to some old classmates I recognized.
I remember when Chad and Taylor had gotten married; looking at Gabi standing behind Taylor as her maid of honor, imaging that soon it would be our time. I knew I had to wait to propose, I knew that not waiting for Gabi to finish law school wasn't what she wanted. But standing there, watching her watch our best friends get married, I almost got down on one knew right then and there. But I had stopped myself, thinking there was no rush. Gabi and I had been together since we were 17, and we would be together forever. Or so I had thought.
I don't think anyone else had seen her yet. My Gabi radar had always been more finely tuned than any of our friends since the moment I lay eyes on her, junior year of high school on winter break at that ski resort. When she was not only the most beautiful girl I had ever seen but also so much more than that.
No, stop. Can't go down that lane again. The memories still hurt.
My eyes followed her slip off her coat but keep her hat on, trying to pull it over her hair, as if to hide. I had never seen Gabi try to hide before. When we had gone to parties in high school, she was always the center of attention without even trying. In college, at Stanford when I had come to visit, she was bright and bubbly like usual, attracting the attention of both guys and girls. I used to chuckle as guys would try to hit on her at parties, not knowing who I was. And then when I used to step up and wrap my arms around her waist, the looks of disappointment and anger. It didn't help when they realized that I was also the Troy Bolton of Berkley basketball. Between that and the fact that I was dating the most beautiful girl at Stanford, I was the most unwelcome 'lunkhead basketball' guy there. Which was fine for us. Gabi really preferred quiet evenings in, curled up in bed, watching a movie while we snuggled and made up for lost time. And when she would come to visit me at Berkeley, I always made sure that she was protected from the nasty looks and comments the girls would throw her way and that the guys always treated her with respect. And then we would go back to my room and make up for lost time. I still remember the way her skin would glow in the light off my nightstand, lying on my bed.
No. Too many painful nights thinking about that.
She looked thinner too, her eyes duller, her skin paler. Was she sick? No, she didn't look sick. Just… tired. I watched her slip into the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with people around her. When she reached her mom, she broke into a smile and they threw their arms around each other, her mom excitedly talking as they embraced like they hadn't seen each other for a while. Gabi and her mom had always been close, we had talked about LA being not to far from Albuquerque as one of the reasons we wanted to live there. As Gabi's mom began to introduce her to the people she was talking too, Gabi retreated back into her shell, her eyes dimming, her smile getting smaller. Gabi motioned behind her, as if to indicate she was going to use the restroom but as I watch her walk out of the kitchen, she headed towards the back of the house instead of the restroom. Gabi's mom's eyes followed her daughter's back and then looked around the room as if seeking someone. When they landed on Taylor, a quick tilt of her head had Taylor rising and walking towards her. Chad's eyes followed his wife's back and when he saw where she was headed, he quickly turned in the crowd, his eyes landing on me.
What was going on? Chad made his way towards me as my eyes shifted between him and Taylor and Gabi's mom in huddled conversation. After quickly conferring, Taylor waddled off down the hallways after Gabi, just as Chad came to stand in front of me, blocking my view.
"Troy, what you drinking?" he asked. "Want to grab a refill?"
"What's going on?"
"I have no clue what you mean." Chad's big brown eyes tried to match the fake smile he was currently pointing my way.
I looked around my best friend to catch Mrs. Montez staring at me. When she caught me looking, she quickly plastered on a fake smile and turned back into her conversation.
"What's going on with Gabi-Gabriella?" I asked, the name feeling stiff in my mouth. I hadn't said the name in over two year, the subject being taboo in our group of friends when I was around.
"Gabi's here?" Chad asked, trying to play dumb. "I didn't know she was coming."
I stared back at him, my mouth set in a straight hard line. "Dude, we have been best friends since we were in kindergarten. I know when you're lying to me."
Chad didn't answer, reaching his hand around to the back of his neck, scratching in an old nervous habit.
I looked back around at Mrs. Montez, again catching her eye. She looked away and then back at me.
This woman was practically my second mother for 8 years. She had the same guilty look her daughter did.
"Chad, don't mess around with me. What's going on?"
Chad starred over his shoulder, checking to see who was watching before grabbing my arm and pulling me into the hallway.
"Look, I really didn't know she was coming tonight. She told Taylor she didn't know what her New Years plans were and –"
"Wait." I interrupted him by grabbing his shoulder. "When did you speak to her?" As far as I knew, she had disappeared from everyone's life the day she packed her bags and left me.
Chad's eyes got wide and he dropped his gaze to the floor.
"Chad," I took a deep breath. "When did Taylor speak to her? You never told me you heard from her. I asked you if she ever reached out and you said no!" I was practically yelling, my voice rising by the word.
"Troy." He met my eyes in a hard gaze. "She was my friend too. She's like my little sister. You knew that."
"She was my fiancé!" At this point I am yelling. "When did you talk to her?"
"Monday, last week."
"And you didn't tell me?!" I can barely breathe at this point, my face probably red from the stress.
"Troy." Sharpay's voice cuts across the hallway, as icy as from when we were in high school. "Stop yelling at him."
"Sharpay! This has nothing to do with you!" I'm now yelling at my other best friend, caught between the two of them in this small hallway. "You don't know what he's done!"
"I do know." She has now walked over to us, her bright brown eyes in hard slits as she stared up at me. "And right now you are causing a scene so kindly take this outside." She has her hands on her hips, blocking our way back to the party.
I huff and grab my coat out of the front closet, storming outside to the porch. I can feel Chad following me as he slips on his gloves. I wrench open the front door and head out into the snow. As I turn to face the house, waiting on Chad to reach me I see Sharpay and Zeke exchange a quick word as he shoots me a glance and watch him help her button up her long pink coat before she follows Chad out to me too. I wait for them both to reach me before I explode.
"Can somebody please explain to me what is going on?" I shoot them murderous glances. "How do you know what Chad's done?"
"Gabi asked up to keep it quiet." Sharpay says simply, as Chad shoots her a terrified glance.
I sputter in outrage, unable to even form words.
Sharpay reaches towards me, trying to push my hair back from my face, a gesture I normally find comforting. Sharpay has been there with me for many of the long lonely nights when I needed a friend after Gabi left. However, tonight I swat her fingers away and gape at the two of them like a fish.
"Asked you to keep what quiet?" I am unable to think, the casual dropping of my ex's name like a knife to my heart.
"That she had reached out to us. She knew how much it could hurt you." Chad says this with guilt laced into every word. It doesn't make me feel better.
"How long have you been talking?" I ask them.
"About a year." Sharpay answers with no guilt. "She reached out to me right after Thanksgiving last year."
"A little longer than that." Chad says in response to my unspoken question to him. "About two summers ago."
I stare at them both in shock before I turn and walk towards the nearest tree. I grab a branch off the ground and start beating the shit out of it.
"Troy!" I heard both of my friends scream my name but I ignore them, continuing to whack and hit the tree until there is nothing left in my hands but the stump. I throw it into the backyard in disgust and then turn towards them both.
Sharpay is still trying to look tough but I see tears welling up in her eyes. Chad is staring at me like I'm a puppy. He always was the weaker of the two. As I search for anything to hit or throw my eyes sweep the house and I see a familiar silhouette illuminated in the front windows, staring at us. Gabi.
I freeze and stare back at her, unable to tear my eyes away from the girl who broke my heart 3 years earlier. We stare at each other for what feels like hours but in reality was only a few seconds. As I make a move to walk towards her, she quickly turns and runs away. I quicken my pace but am cut off by Chad grabbing my arm as Sharpay launches herself into my path.
"No." she says, all icy again.
"Sharpay, for the love of god- get out of my way."
"No."
"Sharpay Ashley Evans if you do not move I will –"
"You'll what Troy? You have been my best friend for 10 years. If you think you can scare me – " Sharpay lays a hand on my chest, forcing me to look down at her. "Please Troy, just stop and breath and listen to us. You do not want to go in there, go after her, especially not like this." Her voice is softer now, gentler.
I look down at Sharpay and then at Chad.
"Fine." I relax, my shoulders sagging. The muscle pain I felt earlier from my game is coming back to me, my adrenaline dropping. I take a deep breath, remembering the exercises I took in therapy for my panic attacks. "Okay."
Sharpay and Chad share a glance and then Sharpay nods for Chad to drop his arm.
"Why don't we meet at my parents house in like a half hour?" Sharpay says, looking back at Chad for quick confirmation. "Chad can make our excuses and gather up our friends. My parents are away for the week so their house should be empty."
I nod quickly, trying not to let the tears leak out of my eyes.
Chad nods at Sharpay and heads towards the house. Sharpay stays outside with me and pulls me into a hug. Although my chin reaches over the top of her head, I let her bundle me into her arms as we stand there in the snow, waiting for everyone to come outside.
