The tear that burns is consumed by the wind.
The black ink which dirts me is washed away.
And I lose again every single thing I've already lost.
I keep inside the emptiness of your presence that still stands by my side.
"I'm ready to leave."
You said sadly before opening the door of our two-room apartment, dragging along two black luggages containing all your clothes.
You got away. Away from this house, which we bought three years ago using all of our savings, without giving a single caress to the little dog that we saved in a cold and rainy day of November or taking off from the fridge those magnets that set up my name: Kagome.
Two months have passed since your goodbye and I'm spending my time lying on the sofa in the front of the door, waiting for you to come back. A coming back that probably won't ever happen. I miss you. I terribly miss you, Inuyasha.
Days come in succession in a slow and painful way and nights are tormented by lots of nightmares. I resumed smoking, drinking something strong when I come back home from work finally became a habit and I am at the mercy of something that the psychologist defined a "post-traumatic stress disorder".
It's useless to say that I started avoiding his damned medical study.
Miroku and Sango always try to take me out with other people, but it's totally vain. I refuse any contact with "the outside".
My colleagues are concerned about my situation. I see it in their eyes and in their faces of perfect and zealous employees, who are just worried about the folder's delivery and the evolutions of the secret relationship between the chief and his secretary.
But, you know, I'm not like them. Not at all.
I just can't carry on. In the last two months I had the chance to know someone new or to keep my mind busy with job, but I didn't. I had the chance to build up a new life without you. But I didn't.
Your golden eyes, your lips, your body, your smile... Everything is still embossed in my brain. The nights when we made love until our breath became short, the first kiss before going out in the morning, the lunches at restaurants with our friends, the evenings passed watching television with a bowl full of chips, two beers, a blanket and our little puppy lying on the carpet in front of us. And also your way to reassure me about my bad dishes, the rare decisions to go for a romantic walk hand in hand at the sunset, the trip to Italy with Sango and Miroku...
Little things that every couple likes to do. Little things that made us happy. Little things that I terribly miss.
We were good togheter.
But you decided to leave and everything changed.
Even if you're gone away your memory is still here in my mind.
And I hate you and I love you at the same time for this.
"Farewell..."
I say softly looking at the door.
I won't cry a single tear for you.
Ever.
Hello to everybody! :)
I'm so proud of this piece of writing because it's a translation from my oneshot written in Italian and published on an italian site of Fanfictions. I would like to say also that I'm not that good in English (it's quite evident, I know), but I desperately wanted to publish this shot on a foreigner site.
Hoping you all will be clement for the grammatical mistakes,
Giulia :)
