Alice Worthington had a terrible secret.
She had a one sided love affair with Remus James Lupin.
Only one other person knew about it, and that person was not Remus. In a fit of smitten feelings, Alice had confessed the whole thing to her best and closest friend, Daisy Andrews.
Embarrassed by her infatuation, Alice had decided that Remus must never know about it. She contented herself with watching him our of the corner of her eye during Defense Against the Dark Arts and occasionally running into him in the hallways. Sometimes she would sit with her chin cupped in one hand, looking wistful and glassy eyed, but her classmates had already accepted that perhaps Alice Worthington was a little strange.
She enjoyed History of Magic, for one thing. Even in their first year, Alice had listened attentively and taken extensive notes in all of her classes. Many Ravenclaws did; it was a matter of house pride that they receive the highest marks on their examinations. Competition between Ravenclaw students could reach an intensity to rival Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch matches. But even Ravenclaws were no match for Professor Bins' incessant, monotonous droning.
Except for Alice Worthington. Alice was, or at least pretended to be, genuinely interested in goblin wars and the history of magical law. In fifth year, she wrote nearly a meter extra on an essay on adoption of the Muggle legal system in Britain, received top marks and earned Ravenclaw a number of points, winning them the house cup that year.
So when Alice acted strangely, her classmates simply shook their heads guessed that she was probably thinking about something. Alice Worthington was always thinking about something. These days, a disproportionate number of her thoughts centered around a certain Gryffindor boy.
Though her Charms work was spread out over two tables in the common room, Alice was not contemplating Fidelius Charms. Instead, she was thinking about Remus Lupin, and how she had never managed to summon the courage to so much as say hello to him.
It would be easier, she thought, if his stupid friends weren't with him all of the time.
She did not have a particularly high opinion of Remus Lupin's loudmouthed friends James Potter and Sirius Black, or that little Peter Pettigrew who cringed at the mere mention of werewolves.
Alice couldn't help but wonder why Pettigrew was taking N.E.W.T. level Defense Against the Dark Arts if he squeaked like that, but she knew how he managed to scrape by. As much as she detested them, Alice had to admit that Potter and Black were rather intelligent, and it was no secret that they muttered answers to Pettigrew when Professor Blackthorn turned her back.
As far as Alice was concerned, people that smart ought to have been sorted into Ravenclaw, though she supposed it must take a lot of courage to speak up and correct a professor like that. Professor Blackthorn had misnamed one of the ways to distinguish a werewolf from a real wolf during their review, and while Alice had simply made a small note in her book and resolved to check it later, Potter waved his hand around obnoxiously until Professor Blackthorn simply could not ignore him any more.
"Professor," Potter said, looking smug, "the tail is more tufted, not less."
"Yes, Potter, you are correct," Blackthorn said, turning a little pink. "Ten points to Gryffindor, and I apologize for my mistake."
Alice never would have had the guts to publicly confront a teacher like that.
There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, she thought, which I am sure Potter crosses on a regular basis.
Remus huddled down in his desk, two rows to Alice's left, and stared very intently at nothing at all.
He must be embarrassed, Alice thought, shaking her head, because his friend is such an arse. I don't know how he lives with them.
She caught his eye and smiled reassuringly, as if to say it's okay that your friends are idiots.
To her absolute delight, Remus smiled back.
That was the first time Alice Jane Worthington ever had any direct personal contact with Remus James Lupin.
She grinned goofily for a moment before composing herself and returning her attention to her notes, the back of her neck burning red with embarrassment and adrenaline. She was very glad that she had long hair.
That day also marked the first time in her life that Alice Worthington hurried out of a classroom. She usually stayed behind to discuss points she wanted to know more about or help the professor tidy up, but today she practically skipped out once she was sure Lupin and his friends were well on their way to Gryffindor tower.
Giddy, Alice pranced in the opposite direction they had gone, ashy blonde hair fanning out behind her as she went. She breezed into Ravenclaw behind a cluster of frightened first years who, she guessed, had just managed to answer the riddle.
Poor dears, she thought, remembering what it was like to get stuck on a riddle and forced to sit around waiting outside until someone came by who knew the answer.
She bounded up the stairs to the sixth year girls' dormitory. Alice Wothington was unspeakably happy. Remus Lupin had not only made eye contact with her, but actually smiled at her.
"Who hit you with a Cheering Charm?"
Daisy Andrews, Alice's best friend, was sprawled out on her bed. Her smeared eyeliner, messy hair and rumpled uniform gave the impression she had been napping. Unlike Alice, she'd taken an easier course load and had the last block free. She often used it to nap, claiming that it cleared her Inner Eye.
Alice secretly thought this was a load of dragon dung, but she tolerated Daisy's spooky mysticism and Daisy accepted Alice's depressing worldliness.
"Daisy, Daisy, you'll never guess – " cried Alice, throwing her bag down on her bed. She paused for a moment to make sure that they were alone and that the door was closed so that nobody would hear. Convinced that her secret was safe, she couldn't contain it any longer. "Remus smiled at me," she gushed. "One of his stupid friends – Potter, I think – stood up an corrected Professor Blackthorn and he – I dunno, was embarrassed or something – so I smiled at him and he smiled back at me!"
Daisy, who had never had any trouble getting the boys of her choice, was nevertheless happy on Alice's behalf. She didn't want to be the one to deliver the reality check, but it had to be done before Alice embarrassed herself. "Alice, listen to me," she said, as gently as she could, "Lupin smiles at everybody. It's just what he does."
"He's never smiled at me before," whined Alice.
"Because you look away every time he notices you staring," Daisy laughed. Alice frowned and crossed her arms. "Look, wave to him today in the Great Hall. I'll bet he smiles at you again."
Daisy Andrews was a gifted Seer, no matter what Alice thought of Divination, but even the most mundane Muggle could have accurately predicted that.
Alice accepted the dare and waved shyly at Lupin before sitting down. To her delight, he waved back. She squealed a little, but the noise was covered by the general din of students coming in to eat and chat, to her great relief.
"See?" Daisy asked. She resisted the urge to add, "I told you so."
Alice said nothing, but busied herself with drinking her entire goblet full of pumpkin juice in one go. She had hoped that by the time she'd put the goblet down, Daisy would have moved on to a different subject.
"Why Lupin, though?" Daisy was asking, and Alice was out of ways to avoid answering. "Potter's a prat, I'll admit, but Black –"
"Is also a prat," Alice cut in, finishing Daisy's sentence for her. "He's even more of a prat than Potter. D'you know how many times I've had to take points off Gryffindor because he's using magic in the halls?" Alice had been made a prefect the previous year, and she did her job with pride.
"Like it's a chore for you," Daisy said. "Isn't that Lupin's job, anyway?"
"Well, er, yes, but they're his friends, Daisy," Alice insisted.
"Not that that ever stopped you from taking points from me," Daisy said, trying to look heartbroken, but ruining the effect by grinning a little.
"Daisy, that was one time! It was two in the morning and you were smoking alihotsy on the astronomy tower!"
Daisy laughed. What Alice didn't know was that she did this fairly often, and it wasn't uncommon for Black to join her. There was a whole little group of them, but she wasn't about to tell Alice that. Daisy knew that she would be torn between her sense of friendship and her sense of duty, and so decided that what Alice didn't know couldn't hurt her.
"You did the right thing," Daisy said, patting Alice's back reassuringly. "I'm just sayin' Lupin doesn't have a spine."
"He has a spine!" Alice insisted, but she had to admit that she hadn't ever seen him stand up to his friends, and she'd seen him rather a lot lately.
"Yeah, yeah" Daisy said with a shrug. "I still say Black is better looking."
"You don't have any classes with him," Alice said darkly, spearing a sausage rather more viciously than was really necessary. "He's an absolute –"
"Not again, please, Alice."
"Right, of course," Alice said, turning slightly pink. She spat nails about Sirius Black on a regular basis, and Daisy always listened patiently to her ranting. "How was Divination?"
Asking Daisy about Divination was a peace offering. Daisy knew what Alice thought about the subject, and offering to listen was an apology; Daisy listened to Alice bitch about Sirius Black, and in return, Alice listened to Daisy ramble about Divination.
"Excellent," Daisy cooed. She looked up towards the ceiling enchanted to look like the heavens, and slumped her shoulders theatrically. "It's just me and Patil this year, you know," she explained, "and Professor Verona has us working on trying to see really specific things, and anyway, Patil said that today would mark a major event in a friend's life – and her friend, the one that graduated last year? – gave birth this morning! Isn't that exciting?"
"Very," Alice said, dryly. She nodded sympathetically and said "mm, yeah" at the appropriate lulls in Daisy's account of what she had seen in her crystal ball during class.
"Alice, you can stop pretending that you care now," said Daisy after several minutes.
Alice laughed, a little embarrassed. "I wasn't pretending!" she insisted. "I care about you."
"Aw, how sweet of you," Daisy laughed, pulling Alice into a theatrical hug and patting her hair in outrageously exaggerated manner.
Alice managed to wriggle free of Daisy's overblown affections and straightened her tie. She watched across the hall as Potter made a fool of himself trying to impress Lily Evans. Poor Lily, she thought, shaking her head. I don't blame her for setting his pants on fire.
Remus noticed her watching and instead of looking hurriedly away like she usually did, Alice grinned a little and waved. He waved back before turning to stop Black from doing something stupid.
Alice blushed. Daisy punched her shoulder. "Go get 'im, girl."
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I know, I know: Mary Sue. Sorry. I'd appreciate reviews either way.
