Title : Be Careful What You Wish For

Author : Helen C.

Rating : G

Summary : Once upon a time, Ryan wished—a 500 words drabble, post The Dearly Beloved.

Spoilers : Everything up to The Dearly Beloved is fair game.

Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Huge thanks to my beta, Joey51!


Be Careful What You Wish For

Helen

Be careful what you wish for…

Once upon a time, Ryan wished his family was richer.

Certainly, he thought, if they had more money, his mother wouldn't need to work her ass off, wouldn't need alcohol to help her to deal with her worries, wouldn't need to find men to validate her.

Certainly, if they had more money, his brother wouldn't keep stealing, wouldn't keep ending up in jail, leaving Ryan alone in the battle zone he called home.

Certainly, if they had more money, Ryan wouldn't need to worry about how to pay for university, his only way of getting the hell out of Chino as soon as he could.

Now, Ryan lives in a rich family, and while he's grateful for the material security, he has learned that even rich people can be screwed up and lonely, that even rich people can feel inadequate and turn to drugs or the bottle as a means to escape a grim reality.

Now, Ryan knows that having money doesn't solve everything, that it just creates different kinds of problems.

CCC

Be careful what you wish for…

One upon a time, Ryan wished he lived in a normal family—caring, sober parents, patronizing, brotherly brother.

When he met Sandy, when the Cohens made their home his, he thought he had found it.

A normal family.

Now, he's learning that no family is normal, that everyone is screwed up in a certain way, that nothing is ever simple, even in a shiny paradise.

CCC

Be careful what you wish for…

Once upon a time, Ryan wished he didn't have to be the one who always tried to save people—his mother, his brother, Marissa, Theresa.

Once upon a time, Ryan wished someone would go to bat for him.

Now, Marissa has shot Trey to save Ryan's life, and he finds out that being the one who has been saved is just as difficult as being the hero.

Now, when he sees her, still shaking three days after the fact, he wonders why he ever wanted someone to save him.

Now, he wishes he could protect her from what she's done, help her in any way he can, save her from her guilt, from repercussions, from everything.

Now, he wishes he could take it back, wishes things would go back to the way they were two years ago.

He still had hope then. He still thought that one day, things would get better, and he would be happy ever after.

He didn't know then that life doesn't get easier, that there's never a happy ending, that things keep going from bad to worse, that people make horrible mistakes and die and kill.

CCC

"Be careful what you wish for," Trey often said.

For once, Ryan agrees with his brother.

Now, he has learned his lesson.

CCC

Once upon a time, Ryan wished.

Now, he doesn't anymore.

It's safer that way, and if he keeps his expectations low, perhaps he won't end up that horribly disappointed again.

END