A/N: Hello. How are you? I don't own South Park.

"C-Craig!"

"Shut up, Tweek."

Craig Tucker narrowed his eyes slightly at the trembling blonde in the corner of the school's bathroom. Tweek Tweak's full body shook with trembles as his own wide eyes stared back at Craig as the dark haired boy's hands worked on uncapping a small bottle. Tweek couldn't stop the small scream that passed his lips.

"Craig! W-wait! I changed my mind! I-I can't do this! N-Not-nngh!- here at least! Oh, Jesus!" Tweek shouted, his voice echoing. Craig frowned "I said shut up. Do you want someone to hear you?"

"YES!" Tweek cried back. "I-I'm-ergh-going!" he turned away and took a step towards the door before he felt the back of his coat being pulled, and then his whole body was yanked back.

"Nuh uh." Craig's mono toned voice growled. "You're staying right here with me, Tweekers. Now hold the hell still." and with that said, Craig pulled Tweek's coat down to his mid-arms, tying the sleeves to use as a bind to hold the squirming boy. Tweek's coffee colored eyes could only widen more as he watched Craig spill the clear contents of the bottle onto his fingers. The coffee addict started to stutter and twitch all over again as Craig gripped the front of his pants.

"Craig! N-No! Aah! W-Wa-Ooow!"

Tweek felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes as Craig's fingers did their work.

"Christ, Tweek." Craig huffed. "Have you ever heard of a hair brush? A comb, maybe?" he grumbled looking over the mess that was Tweek's hair. He was going to need more gel.

Tweek winced as Craig gelled down another chunk of his wild blonde hair. "W-Well-nngh- they all break wh-when I try to co-Jesus, Craig! That hurts!"

Craig sent Tweek a look making the other silent. Craig continued to style his friends hair till it was just the perfectly the exact way he saw on Queer Eye. "There you go. Much gayer."

"Nngh."

Craig slipped on his ridged glasses and looked back to Tweek, swinging the the pink feather boy around his neck.

"Lets go, bitch. We're gonna show those flaming heterosexuals a thing or two."

A/N: You're nasteh if you thought they were doing something else. They're only nine years old. Yah nastehs.