Never Lost
By: Phoenix Dayze
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy. Please don't hurt me.
Sephiroth paced the length of the tent. He hated to admit to being worried, but he was. Zack had recently been promoted to SOLDIER First Class--just as Sephiroth had known that he would be--and his first mission hadn't been the simple task that Sephiroth had hoped for. Of all the places that Zack could have been sent, it had to be Wutai. They had been on the brink of war with the vile country for years, but it had to be now that things began to fall apart. It had to be now that ShinRa was forced to send in an infantry to try and keep the brunt of the battle from spilling out into the surrounding cities. It had never really bothered Sephiroth that he didn't sign the mission release forms before, glad that he didn't have to choose who it was to send out to death's door, until now. Wutai was a vicious, contemptible place, and more than one good SOLDIER had fallen here in past negotiations. Sephiroth knew that Zack was more than capable of taking care of himself, he'd proved that a thousand times over, but the headstrong young man was the only thing Sephiroth had ever had that even vaguely resembled a friendship, and he was loath to see it die.
Ever since that altercation in his office two years ago, he and Zack had forged a solid, albeit somewhat unconventional relationship. Sephiroth had reluctantly let go of his dreams of possession, of using the man for his own pleasures, although the lust was still there, and Zack always gave him the respect that Sephiroth had earned in his eyes, becoming an irreplaceable confidant. They had learned how to laugh together, how to read the other's body language so that they knew the other almost as well as theirself, and there was a still, uncensored comfort in the other's presence.
It had been nearly four months since Sephiroth had even seen Zack. Sephiroth was the General, and was always needed ten places at once. Since the war had started, he'd spent most of his time traveling back and forth, from post to post, giving speeches and rallying troops, not at all a valuable use of his skill. It kept him away from the fighting, away from the danger, but it also kept him away from his men, and the victory that he knew they could achieve together.
Finally back here among Zack's unit, Sephiroth had ordered the men to alert him the instant that Zack set foot on the grounds. He needed to speak with Zack, the man was in second-in-command now, but more than that, he just wanted to see, with his own eyes, that Zack was safe. Sephiroth cared more for Zack than he would admit, even to himself, perhaps too much. The burden of such attachment, in times like these, could only be a weakness. But he hid it well. He doubted that even Zack knew the truth of these particular feelings, or the strength of them.
Sephiroth abandoned his thoughts as a loud, familiar voice bled through the camp. He smiled as the voice neared, letting out a heavy breath. Zack was safe. For now.
The flap of the tent was carelessly flung aside and Zack strolled in, as full of himself as ever, his arm slung a little too affably around the neck of a very pretty female nurse. He wavered slightly on his feet, and the smile on his face said all there was to say about his current situation. Sephiroth's heart clenched painfully. Somehow, death and dismemberment by Wutai warriors seemed less of a danger in the light of very definite seduction by nurses with more curves than any man should find appealing. He knew that Zack was only sixteen, that amidst the true possibility of death, Zack deserved to experience any form of pleasure he desired, human intimacy at the top of that list. And being that he'd never put any kind of claim on Zack, never even expressed interest in the man, Sephiroth shouldn't be surprised that Zack was testing the waters when he had the chance. But that didn't stop it from hurting any less. Sephiroth cleared his throat. "Is this a bad time, Lieutenant?"
Zack whirled around at the sound of the dark voice, the grin fading from his face so fast it made Sephiroth cringe. Zack stared at his commanding officer, his arm dropping from the nurse's shoulder. "Seph, what are you doing here?"
Sephiroth licked his lips. The simple, mundane way that Zack spoke was like a knife in his side. He had thought, that after all this time, his friend would be at least a little glad to see him. He gave Zack a wry, mirthless smile. "There's a war on, Zackary. Or haven't you noticed?" He looked pointedly at the nurse who was wisely trying to make herself scarce, then back at Zack. "This is where I'm needed, for the moment."
Zack ran a hand through his hair, a heavy sigh on his lips. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just…surprised is all." He gave Sephiroth a quick once-over. "You look tired."
"Thank you, Zack," Sephiroth all but spat, "your astute concern is as touching as ever."
Zack frowned; hurt flashing in his eyes. "Seph…I…"
Nightmarish screams pierced the camp, followed by the crushing sound of bombs, gunfire, and the unmistakable clash of steel. Sephiroth's sword appeared in a flash of sliver, and he exited the tent, no longer the betrayed friend, but the General. Zack followed, close on his heels, his buster sword brandished high.
It happened so quickly, that neither of them even noticed that it had happened at all, until Sephiroth began spurting blood, and his hand wound instinctively around his stomach. Sephiroth stilled, paling, as his world wavered, a liquid reality. Zack's arm caught him as he fell, an anchor amidst the carnage. Pain ravaged his body, wracking him with sharp spasms of agony. Sephiroth hadn't known that death would hurt so badly, especially when he was so unaccustomed to physical pain outside of the lab.
Sephiroth was dimly aware of Zack's hands pressing down on his wound, of his own blood, seeping hot and persistent between the man's fingers. His vision zeroed in on two violet stars, gleaming like a hope and a dream on the horizon, stars laden with aching sorrow and tinged with fear. Zack's comforting voice filled his ears. "Don't go, Seph, I need you here. Who else is gonna put up with me? Nobody..." Zack trailed off, his attempt at humor lightening Sephiroth's heart more than his own.
Sephiroth reached up, dragging a tender finger across Zack's face, the honest, sensual caress he had never been able to bring himself to share. He smiled, embracing the younger man's face, as darkness slowly possessed him. "I…love you…" He managed to rasp, his voice fading as fast as his sight.
Hot droplets, that Sephiroth vaguely identified as tears anointed his face. "Seph,…don't leave. Please, I…"
Zack shrieked as rough hands seized him, pulling him away from his fallen friend. "Sephiroth!" He screamed. Zack fought against his assailants to no avail. "Seph!" As darkness took him, it occurred to Zack that now Sephiroth would never know what Zack had been about to tell him. The fact that he loved Sephiroth more than life, would, ironically, go with Zack to his grave.
Tbc…
