Pansy and the Pussycats
by CuteDiva
A/N: Hello, my faithful readers! Prepare yourself for sheer terror! That's right, you guessed it! Another of my bizarre ventures into humor. If you read my very few humor fics, then you already KNOW I can't write humor. But, hopefully, this one won't be TOO bad...
Okay, so, here goes nothing...
Pansy Parkinson was in the Slytherin common room, creating a Love Potion that would (hopefully) make her Draccypoo fall madly and passionately in love with her. It was very dark, and she could barely see. Just as she was adding the most important ingredient, toad drool, which had to be measured EXACTLY, she tripped over Millicent Bulstrode's .
"Millicent, you fat ass ape! You almost made me sprain my leg!" Pansy hissed, as the entire vile of toad drool spilled into the potion. "Oh, well," Pansy sighed, mixing the potion. "Maybe a little extra toad drool will make my little Kissypoo love me even more!" she squealed foolishly, and continued to mix up the potion. She then left the potion boiling and fell asleept, and had very naughty, kinky dreams about her (she wishes) lover.
***
The next day, Pansy made her sorry way to Draco, attempting to distract him so she could slip the potion in his pumpkin juice.
"Hello, Sexy," she purred, causing Malfoy to gag and move away a few feet. Pansy didn't take the hint, and edged closer. Just then, Malfoy burst out laughing.
"What?" Pansy asked indignantly.
"You have a HUGE zit on your nose!" he said, and burst out laughing, attracting the attention of the rest of the Great Hall.
Pansy burst out crying madly, then broke into a mad run out of the Great Hall and to the Slytherin common room.
Malfoy, still laughing, accidentally grabbed for the vile of potion Pansy left behind instead of his pumpkin juice, and began drinking.
"I feel weird..." Malfoy said, looking like he was about to puke his spleen out his throat.
Malfoy started twitching uncontrollably, grinding his teeth. He looked like he was having a total muscle spasm, or an epilepsy episode, or something. Suddenly, he started batting his eyelashes more than Shirley Temple on a sugar high, then turned his head towards the Gryffindor table.
"Harry Potter!" Malfoy squealed. "What a fine hunka-hunka man!"
The excess of toad drool in the potion had caused Draco to become gay!
***
A/N: Should I continue this? I don't know... it seems a bit pointless. And, no, this is NOT smut, and NO, I am NOT gay-bashing, so any and all flames will be tossed out to the dogs, and I won't deal with them. So, constructive criticism is welcome.
