Love Cost
She let the tears stream down her rosy cheeks, the little droplets of water, hitting the paper beneath her. The ink she had just written there, was smashed together because of her tears, and she couldn't almost read what she had just written. The words didn't make any sense, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get it all out.
God, she hated him. She hated him, and his bouncy, curly hair. The afro she loved to pull her hands through when she kissed him, and whenever it was wet, she always told him, he looked like a poodle. She hated his brown eyes, which held so much emotion. She hated his lips. Those lips she had kissed so many times. She hated his smile. She hated everything about him.
But most of all, she hated his big mouth, because when he spoke, he didn't always know what he was saying. He didn't know who he was hurting with his insults, and he didn't always think his sentences through before he let them out. And she hated him for that, oh God, she did.
She closed her diary with a smack, and pushed it away from her, resting her head in her hands. It hurt. It hurt so much. She really loved him, and he went on and hurt her like this. She'd never thought he could do this to her. She never believed he would, because she trusted him. The cheating boyfriends happened to all the other girls, but not her. She wasn't one of them. But he broke all his promises, and therefore broke her heart.
She could still remember when she saw them. The picture was clear in her mind, and she was sure it'd never burn away. His hands up her shirt in the middle of the busy dance floor, and her hands in his hair, the hair she loved to put her hands in, while their lips were clashed together, their tongues down each others' throats.
A new fresh bash of tears found the way into her eyes, as she slumped together in her chair, last night's events flashing through her brain…
She made her way through the crowd, pushing past a bunch of her drunk classmates. Gabriella was nowhere in sight, but she was probably busy with Troy in some secluded room. Those two weren't easy to keep track of. She just hoped her friend wouldn't do anything she'd regret the next day. It was a big deal, at least for her.
The little amount of alcohol she had drunken herself had found its way to her brain as well. It was the first time she drank, and she could feel that, though she knew what she was doing. She was in control of her actions. She would never get so drunk that she couldn't control anything. She knew that. She was too smart for that.
If just she could say the same about her idiotic boyfriend…
People found it weird that the two of them stuck together like they did. After the after party that day the Wildcats won the championships game, they'd been going out. And even though they were different, and she had to make sure he did all his homework, while he wanted to play ball, trying to get her to play with him, they loved each other. She loved him like she'd never loved another person before. He was her everything, and she'd never want to lose him. She couldn't imagine not being with him, not getting his kisses, his light touches, and not having him to make her laugh when everything seemed bad.
She just needed him. That was the way it was.
She made her way pass a couple, making out furiously in the couch, and almost dropped her jaw, when she realized it was Kelsi and Jason. God, they did NOT seem like that sort of people. But ah… she guess she shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.
She looked through the crowd, towards the alcohol table, but she couldn't find him anywhere. The only person she actually did find, was Gabriella. Happy that her best friend weren't doing anything with her boyfriend at the moment, she crossed the room, and enveloped her in a hug.
"Tay!" Gabriella giggled, obviously drunk. She'd had a little too much beer, "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," Taylor shrugged, still on the look-out for Chad, "Have you seen Chad anywhere?"
"No!" Gabriella cheered, holding out a cup filled with some blue liquor, "It's a Polar Bear, drink it!"
Taylor pushed the cup away, and shook her head, "No, thank you."
"Aaw," Gabriella said, taking a sip herself, "Ryan made it. It's great. You're so boring, TayTay."
"And you're drunk, GabGab." Taylor said, obviously mocking her friend, since she was seriously getting on her last nerves. Parties were not her thing. She could have been home studying right now. But she'd went to this one, just because Chad wanted her to come. And she loved him, so she sacrificed one night of math for him.
But what good was that when she couldn't find him anywhere?
"Heey," Gabriella slurred, pointing at something behind Taylor's shoulders, her eyes wide, "Is that not… Cha-, uhm.. Chad, yeah? Is that not Chad?"
Taylor whipped around, a confused look in her eyes. But right the moment when her eyes caught her boyfriend, she wished she had never been born. In the middle of the dance floor, dancing to a slow song, was Chad. He was engaged in a heavy make-out session with none other than the Ice Princess of East High.
His hands were up her back, and it didn't take a professor to figure out that he was trying to undo her bra. Her hands were in his hair, and their heads were almost twisted off, because they were trying to reach the other's stomach with their tongues.
Taylor wanted to look away, but at the same time, she couldn't get herself to do it. She was frozen in place. She couldn't believe this. Chad… Her wonderful, sweet, sweet Chad. He was cheating on her. After countless of times of telling her that he'd never be like all the other guys. That he'd never sleep with a girl, and then come crawling back.
"Wow TayTay," Gabriella whispered behind her, her voice barely audible, "He's like… kissing Sharpay. What did you guys.. Did you guys break up or something?"
"No…" Taylor said, finally moving her eyes away from her cheating boyfriend and the school's slut, "No, we didn't. But we're going to. Right now!"
Gabriella seemed quite afraid of her, but she quickly grabbed her by the wrist, and held her there, "What are you gonna do now? Are you gonna… gonna kick him?"
Taylor let out a deep sigh, and shook her head, hating her best friend for acting like a three year old, hating Sharpay for being so damn hot, so everyone wanted her, but mostly, she hated Chad for being who he was. He'd probably had a bit too much to drink, and when Sharpay was right there, probably grinding up against him, looking for her hook-up for the night, he hadn't been able to control himself. Mostly because Taylor wasn't like that.
"Taylor…?" Gabriella questioned, her eyes moving wildly inside her head, as if she was about to faint, "Taylor, are you… I mean, are you going to…" suddenly she dropped her drink, and placed her hand on her mouth. Without another word, she rushed from Taylor, in the direction of the bathroom, which Taylor really appreciated, since getting vomit on her, would not really make her night any much better.
She stood still for a second, not wanting to turn around again. She knew she had to though, she couldn't just let him get away with this. She wasn't that type of person though. Sure, she had a temper that not many people pursued, but when it was about Chad she could be surprisingly calm and collected. He was one of the few people who really got to her, and him doing something like this, wouldn't cause an anger attack, it'd cause instant heartbreak, and she could already feel it.
Before she was able to decide what to do, someone was yelling behind her, and she turned around, finding Ryan in between Sharpay and Chad, trying to break them apart. Sharpay's tight, and already very short, jeans skirt, was now moved even further up her leg, which caused everybody to get a good look of her black thong, while Chad's shirt was half unbuttoned.
"You have a girlfriend, Chad!" Ryan shouted, above the music, "And Sharpay!" he continued, "You don't need to sleep with every male student from East High, get yourself some pride!"
"Let me go!" Sharpay yelled, and it was clear in her voice that she wasn't near drunk. She was in control of everything she did. Which proved Taylor right in her theory – she was just a slut, who didn't care who she hurt, if she just found someone to hook up with.
"Ryan man…" Chad said, calmly trying to settle things, "My man, calm down… We were just having some fun, dude. I wasn't gonna… you know… I was just… We were dancing, Ryan!"
"And what do ya' say, Chad?" Ryan said, finally letting Sharpay be, because she just stood there anyway. He turned fully towards Chad, a disapproving look in his eyes. Taylor could see that clearly, because Chad's back was to her, while Ryan was facing her, "What about you girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend…" Chad said, and he seemed to think really hard.
"Yeah," Ryan said, nodding his head up and down, "Y'know, that black beauty you're dating? Taylor? You remember her? Yeah, I don't think she's too thrilled about you making out with other girls…"
"Taylor…" Chad mumbled, scratching his head lightly, and now Taylor couldn't contain herself. She let the tears fall, and brushed through a couple of people, towards the arguing boys, hitting Chad across the head – hard.
"Jerk!" she yelled, more tears falling, "I can't believe you'd do that! You promised me you weren't like the other boys! You said you'd never hurt me! I guess you're just like the rest of them… Idiot!"
It looked like something just hit Chad. First he looked extremely happy, but then two seconds later, his smile faded completely, and he seemed to panic, "Tay baby!" he said, reaching out for her, but she brushed him off, "It isn't what it looks like, I swear. I didn't mean to kiss her… I was.. I was drunk, I didn't know!"
"Save it, Chad!" Taylor spat, looking at him, anger across her face, "You and your stupid promises. I guess I shouldn't have believed you. Do me a favor and just… stay away from me!"
She turned around on her heel and brushed past Troy, who had been looking on, a worried look on his face. She ran outside, her high heels clicking across the floor. She could hear Chad yelling in the background. Apology after apology coming out of his mouth, but she ignored him. She was done with him. It was over.. she couldn't take his shit.
…Taylor sniffed, as she reached for a tissue, wiping her face. Gabriela had called about ten times already, but she didn't feel like talking. Not that her best friend would remember anything, so she wouldn't be much help. Sharpay had texted her too, apologizing for kissing Chad, but Taylor simply blocked her.
Chad however, had called one time, but when she hung up on him, he hadn't called back. A part of her wished he'd try more, to prove her that he really cared, but another part of her was happy that he let her be. She couldn't stand to listen to his voice right now, least at all see him.
She threw the tissue on the table, and moved herself to her bed, lying down to get some rest. She hugged her pillow close to her stomach, while looking at the picture she had on her nightstand. It was of her and Chad, of course. It was taken just a few weeks before, at one of his basketball games. They'd won, and her mother had taken a picture of the two, while they were all happy.
She picked up the frame and turned onto her back, looking up at it. Her eyes were dry, and probably bloodshot, but she didn't care to fix herself. She was too tired, and too sad to care. No one was gonna see her anyway, maybe except her sister or mom if they were came in here. But they knew she was sad, they knew everything that had happened, so they wouldn't judge her.
She placed the picture frame on her bed, and sat up, looking around the room with a sigh. She hated her life right now. Even though she didn't want to think of it, she couldn't stop. Last night was right there, fresh in her memory. And everything she could do to occupy herself was done. All her homework was made, and every extra thing she could think of doing was done. Her sad song, Love Cost was playing for the one hundred time, if it wasn't the thousandth, and her sister had asked her to turn it off, already a gazillion. But she needed it, because Chad broke her heart.
I'm so drunk in love with you
Drugs and candy will not do
You are poison on my tongue
Tasting you my lips are numb
All the drugs for love I take
Overdosed I lay awake
Trying to take back what I lost
To refund my love cost
"TAYLOR!?" her sister yelled, barging through the closed door, "Turn it off, now!?"
"…a gazillion and one." Taylor whispered, reaching her hand out for the remote, though. She turned the song off, and an actually lovely silence overtook the room.
"Thank you." Nadine said, wiping her lips off with the back of her hand, "Mom and I are going shopping for food. Will you be okay by yourself?"
Taylor nodded slowly, closing her eyes tightly, just wanting to be alone. She wanted Nadine to leave, because her presence didn't make things any easier. She had never had boy trouble before, because Taylor wasn't that type of girl to really date guys and gossip. But Nadine. She had dated a whole lot of guys, so she should know how it felt.
"Are you okay there, sis?" Nadine then asked, saying the one thing Taylor didn't want her to say. How could she even think she'd be okay? Her boyfriend cheated on her yesterday.
"Leave me alone…" Taylor mumbled, turning onto her side, resting her head on her feathery pillow.
"Okay, okay…" Nadine said, and Taylor hated to admit it, but right there they reminded so much of each other, "We're going now. It'll probably be a few hours, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah." Taylor mumbled, "Can you turn off the lights? I wanna sleep."
"Sure," Nadine said, flipping off the light switch, "And get better sis."
Taylor didn't answer, so the door just closed, and she could hear them take off downstairs, with the front door closing behind them. She enjoyed the silence now, and was glad that Cassie Steele was no longer playing. She just relaxed completely and tried to think of other things than Chad, because it made her so depressed.
She was just getting really sleepy, when her cell phone started going off right next to her head, on her night stand. She slowly reached out to take it, cursing Gabriella for being so nosey, and for calling again.
She flipped her phone open, and placed it against her ear, with a sigh, "Yes?"
"Are you home?"
That was so not Gabriella. That voice was mainly. And she could recognize it anywhere. It was him. The person she hadn't wanted to speak to, the guy who broke her heart. And yet she couldn't get herself to close her phone, or even yell at him to leave her alone. The calm breathing from the other end of the phone calmed her down somehow, and her heart ached to hear his voice.
Breathing hard, she managed to choke out one word, "Why?"
"'Cause I'm standing right outside your front door."
She slowly took the phone away from her ear, closing it softly. Her legs carried her, without her permission, towards her window, and she looked through it, and right down at the front porch, where he stood. Right when she looked down at him, he turned his head upwards, and their eyes locked.
She could tell, even from this distance, that he was sad. His eyes were tired, and he didn't look happy. She didn't know why she did it, but she pulled herself away from his stare, threw her phone on her bed, and hurried down the stairs, opening the front door, to come face to face with the boy she swore to herself, she'd hate forever.
He looked surprised that she had actually opened for him, and for a moment, they just looked at each other, their eyes locked. His looked just as heartbroken as she felt. His eyes were just as bloodshot, his smile was just as sad. Her heart broke just by the sight of him, and it beat faster, because right now, tears started to stream out of her eyes, just because of his presence. It calmed her, that he was right there.
Before she really knew what was happening, she stepped forward, and he put his strong arms around her. Her head rested on his shoulder, and she let the tears fall freely, soaking his shirt, while he hugged her tightly, never wanting to let her go. She cried for awhile, breathing in his scent, and he smelled her hair, hoping that somehow they could work this out. They had to… he couldn't live without her. Not right now. He needed her now.
Finally Taylor seemed to come to her senses, because she stepped back, and hit him hard across the chest, "Jerk!" she exclaimed, furiously wiping away all her tears.
Chad tried to pull her in for a hug again, but she refused to let him, so he grabbed her around the wrists, to keep her from hitting him, "Taylor… Tay babe, calm down." He whispered, his voice broken and raw. She could tell he had actually been crying too.
"Don't Tay babe me!" Taylor said, trying to break free from his grasp. But she was worn out, so he had had no problem keeping her there.
"Shhh," he said, forcefully pulling her to him, wrapping his arms around her again, because finally she seemed drained out, "I love you Taylor… I'm so sorry. Please say you can forgive me. I love you so much. I don't know what to do without you. Please… I don't like Sharpay, not a bit, you're it…"
"But you kissed her, Chad…" Taylor whispered, nuzzling into his neck, her lips brushing against the sensitive skin there, when she spoke, "You kissed her. You had your hand up her top. And she--- she had her hands in your hair. The hair I love."
"I'm sorry…" Chad whispered, kissing the side of her head, "I didn't mean to, Taylor. I'd never hurt you. I love you so much. I – I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk, and I… Well, suddenly she was there, and we were dancing, and I didn't know what I was doing. I'd never hurt you. Not on purpose."
"But you hurt me, Chad…" Taylor told him, still wrapped in his strong embrace, which she didn't mind, even though she hated him right at the moment. Because she loved him too, with everything she was, "You told me to come party with you, and I did, because I love you, and then you just… get totally wasted and makes out with the school's slut! I can't believe you…"
"I'm not that kinda guy, Tay…" Chad told her, soothing her down, "I'm… I'm Chad, okay? And I made a mistake. I really hope you can forgive me. When you left last night, I tried to run after you, but Troy stopped me, he told me to let you calm down. And then we talked, and he yelled at me, much like Ryan did. And when I got back in, Sharpay was already all over Zeke instead. There's nothing between us. I was drunk and stupid. Please, Tay… I love you."
"I love you too…" Taylor told him, looking into his eyes, tears in her own. She could tell he was on the verge of crying too. She knew him that well, "I love you so much Chad, but… You hurt me. You cheated. How do I know it won't happen again? How can I trust you?"
"I dunno…" Chad said, shrugging his shoulders lightly, as he brushed his thumb across her cheeks, wiping away her tears, "All I can give you is my word. It's your decision if you'll take it. I'll just hope you can forgive me, so we can work past this."
"I wanna forgive you, Chad," Taylor said, letting out a deep breath, finally calming down. It seemed like she's yelled enough at him, cried enough because of him, and was ready to talk things out, "I really do, because I love you. But…" she breathed out, "I can't take it if I find you kissing another girl at another party."
"I won't, Taylor, I won't." Chad said, his voice calm and sincere, "I can promise you that."
"Really?"
"Yes, Tay…" Chad said, slowly stroking her cheek, "You're my girl. And I hate myself for hurting you. Please give me another chance, I'm begging you."
Taylor seemed to think about it. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to forgive him, but she didn't want to get hurt again. But he said he wouldn't, and she'd always trusted him, from the moment he kissed her for the first time. And she couldn't live without him right now. She might be able to in the future, but right now, not having him, seemed like unbearable pain. She needed his kisses, and his light touches. She needed his sweet voice, and his jokes to make her laugh.
She needed him.
Slowly, she looked up at him, breathing out, a raspy breath. She locked eyes with him for a second, swallowing as she made her decision. He looked afraid. And she knew he was afraid to get turned down. And she could never hurt him. She knew she couldn't be the cause of his heartbreak, so she slowly leaned in, placing her lips on his, moving her arms around his neck.
He seemed to relax, because his hands wound around her waist, and he kissed her back with eagerness. It all fell into place, and Taylor knew, that for now, she'd made the right decision. Right now this was really what she needed, to hell with what happened. It'd take awhile to gain back her trust, but it would be worth it. Chad was worth it.
"God…" Taylor whispered, when she pulled back, to look into his eyes, "I'm so drunk in love with you."
Chad just smiled and pulled her in for another kiss.
Gosh, was that just my first Chaylor ending, right there? Iish, was it any good at all? I hope it was, but I'm not too sure. Hmmf, I hope it was worth reading, 'cuz it took me awhile to write, but then again not too long, 'cuz I was on a roll here.
And yeah, one of my readers told me I could write any couple and it'd turn out good, so I hope that statement is still through.
I love Corbin Bleu, Chad is one hell of a character, and he's hard to write, not as hard as Sharpay though. And Taylor – she's awesome. It's sad, isn't it, how Monique is almost always forgotten? Everybody forgets about her, and she's like… the coolest person of them all. We need to have more Taylor centered fics too. Gosh, I should write more with her…
…or shouldn't I? Now I'm nervous, I didn't do good enough? Please leave me a review with your thoughts.
I had no idea how to end this one-shot, so I hope it didn't suck too much. And the title, yeah… I had no idea where that came from either, 'cuz first I'd named it something else, but that made no sense too, so yeah, Love Cost it is.
I don't own High School Musical, and I don't own Love Cost. It's a song by Cassie Steele, and right now I'm using her songs in everything I write, 'cuz they're amazing, and her music is my current obsession. I wanna have her CD, but I can't find it anywhere in shitty little Denmark. They sell like… nothing. Uhm yeah. I think that's it for now, I'm outie.
