This is my first yaoi story so take it easy...especially you lizzy....critic...don't laugh at me....
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach in any way, shape, or form...
It's that moment right before day. Dawn or Dusk, when you realize everything that's happened, and all emotions come crashing on you like a weight. Yet somehow you manage to smile and laugh; when your soul is slowly dying, dying until there's nothing left. And you feel like an empty, lifeless shell, until that one person comes, seeing you and understanding, somehow maneging to slowly lift the weight as you slightly regain pieces of your broken soul and become whole again. You realize that you both we're filled with the same emptiness, until you found each other; but after you end up losing that person, the whole process can start over again.....
Ichigo walked into the brightness of the schools classroom, squinting his eyes he took a seat be the window. Ichigo pulled out his cell phone, to pass the time before the teacher starts class, he made an angry face. Isshin had sent him over twenty messages on as to why he shouldn't be so groggy on his first day in the 12th grade. Angry, Ichigo sent back Shut up! I'm gonna kick your ass when I get home! A minute later Isshin sent back Oh my son! Mother what are we going to do?! He's using naughty words we need help! Annoyed, Ichigo shut his cell phone and shoved it into his pocket.
"Something the matter?" A voice said.
Ichigo looked up to see a red-haired male standing over him. Ichigo burst out laughing and said, "I can see why people give me so much trouble over my funky hair now, but yours! ha!"
The red haired male mummbled "Nice to see that I amuse ya, I'm Renji Abarai." Renji sat down at the desk next to Ichigo.
Ichigo looked at Renji, "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki. My idiot father is just being himself." With a bored expression Ichigo leaned his head on his hand.
"Oh, I getcha," Renji said.
"Get what?" Ichigo asked.
"You don't like yur dad, do ya?"
"What? No, it's mutual, I guess." Ichigo mummbled.
Ichigo and Renji both sat forward as the teacher walked into the room. When the teacher was well into her history speechRenji glanced at Ichigo. The slender orange-haired, brown-eyed male was looking out the window. Renji couldn't get a clear look of his face, but he could tell Ichigo wasn't listening.
"-Ichigo Kurosaki." The teacher said.
"Huh? Ya?" Ichigo asked confused.
"Please answer the question." The teacher said in a not-so-nice-tone.
"Uh, um, could you repeat it please?"
Ichigo answered the question, all the while Renji was watching him. Ichigo glanced at Renji; slightly blushed, then looked back out the window. Renji ust thought Ichigo was embarrassed about getting the question wrong, but Ichigo thought otherwise.
Ichigo saw Renji staring at him and felt his cheeks heat up a little and quickly looked back out the window. This male, staring at me? I feel like somethings different about him. Ichigo thought
I see most people stay away from Ichigo and leave him alone. From far away he looks scary, but the close I get the cuter he looks.Renji thought. Wait, what the hell?! Why the fuck am I thinking this? I'm no softy! Renji put his hands on either side of his face, only to here the luch bell ring. Renji grabbed his bento and stood up.
Get a grip Ichigo! Ichigo told himself. He could be like Keigo for all you know! With that Keigo burst through the door.
"Ichiii!!!"Keigo shouted and ran twords Ichigo. Ichigo held out his hand which smacked Keigo in the face.
"Ichi? huh?" Renji smirked and walked over to Rukia for lunch.
Keigo took onle look at Renji and ran behind Ichigo. "Wh-who is this man Ichi? He's scary lookin."
"Shut up and go away keigo!" Ichigo said annoyed.
"Care to join me for lunch Ichi?" Renji teased. He didn't know why he teased Ichigo, he just did.
"Like hell I will!!" Ichigo said, Renji sighed.
"Fine. I'll join you for lunch." Ichigo gave in, why do I feel like I should please him? Ichigo thought, grabbing his bento and following Renji.
"Wha-What about me?!" Keigo cried.
Renji led Ichigo to the roof, Rukia following them. Ichigo was surprised to find Chad, Inoue, and Ishida already up there.
"Hello Ichigo, good afternoon." Inoue greeted him.
"Hey." Ichigo said.
Renji stopped surprised. "You know em'?" He asked.
"Ya," Ichigo said dully.
"Let's sit here then." Renji said.
"Yay! I can share my bento with Rukia!" Inoue said happily.
"Heh, heh not today, I brought my own." Rukia sweated.
"But I brought extra!" Inoue pouted.
Renji and Ichigo silently enjoyed their lunches, careful not to look at each other. Ichigo quickly finished his bento, the awkward atmosphere between him and Renji was starting to bug him. Renji too noticed the atmosphere.
Ichigo picked up his pace on eating and said, "I'm gonna go to the classroom, I want to start the homework.." Ichigostood up and walked away with his bento.
"Whats his problem?" Ishida asked.
"I don't know, but I'm gonna find out." Renji cracked his knuckles and stood up.
"Renji!" Rukia exclaimed.
"Relax, Rukia, I'm not gonna hurt him I promise." Renji picked up and his finished bento and walked away. Inoue looked at Rukia questioningly, Rukia just sighed and went back to eating.
Renji walked back into the classroom to see Ichigo the only one in the room, staring at a paper on his desk. "You ran away in a hurry." Renji said leaning against the window next to Ichigo's desk.
"Ya, I want to do the homework so I don't have to do it tonight."
"That's just an excuse." Renji looked down at Ichigo, who looked up at Renji.
"What do you know about it?" Ichigo squinted his eyes.
"Heh, more than-" Renji squinted his eyes and put his hands on his side leaning down putting his face two inches away from Ichigo. "You." Renji finished.
Ichigo drew a sharp breath, closing his eyes as he turned his head away from Renji. Renji laughed and walked around Ichigo's desk to take a seat at his own.
"Eh, whatever." Ichigo said leaning his head on his hand and bringing a bored expresson back on his face. Ichigo stared at Renji having and urge to trace the tattoos on his face. Ichigo focused back on his work as students filed back in a few minutes before class started again. Ichigo was careful not to look at Renji the rest of the day as he could feel Renji glancing at him every once in a while.
Ichigo packed his things as soon as class ended and threw his bag over his shoulder. Ichigo walked steadily out the door of the school building when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Reflexes kicking in Ichigo spun around punching the person in the face.
"Holy shit man, ya pack a punch," Renji said holding the right side of his face. "But is that any way you treat your new friend?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and started walking again. Ichigo knew he was only putting on a brave face, but he could feel guilt coursing through him as he said, "Go away."
"Nope, not 'til you apologize." Renji followed Ichigo.
"Never." Ichigo wondered to himself why he was playing in Renji's games.
"Why not?" Renji asked.
"It was a reflex there's nothing to apologize for." Ichigo quickened his pace, but Renji matched it easily.
"Uh huh, sure."
Ichigo stopped, Renjiturned around to look at him. Taking a deep breath, Ichigo asked in irritation,"Why the hell won't you leave me alone?"
"Why the hell are you so rude?" Renji countered.
"I was born that way." Ichigo said walking again. Renji didn't follow Ichigo, instead he started walking the other way. Ichigo laughed and decided to whatever it.
The next few weeks went by smoothly and Ichigo's and Renji's friendship grew as they got to know each other more and more. Neither of them acknowledged they're previous feelings.
Ichigo lay on his bed about a month after he met Renji, thinking about his dream. Ichigo couldn't help but wonder if Renji shared the same feelings a he had. Knowing Renji, Ichigo knew it would be hard to tell. Sitting up Ichigo rubbed some of the sleepiness from his eyes.
"Ichiiiigooooo..." Ichigo heard someone whisper. Ignoring it, Ichigo got out of bed and went to get a drink of water. A few minutes later Ichigo returned glass in hand. Closing the door and flipping on the light, Ichigo blinked at the red-headed male sitting on his bed. "Hey." He said
"What the hell, Renji?! What are you doing in my house and how did you get in?!"
"I figured ya'd let me stay here for the night, that okay? My parents kicked me out and Rukia wouldn't let me stay with her. I got in through the window how else?" Renji explained, the curtians of the window blew in the slight breeze. Renji looked at Ichigo, he was only in his boxers. So thats how he sleeps Renji thought.
"Get out." Ichigo said flatly. Renji didn't say anything, he just looked at Ichigo. "Get out." Ichigo repeated.
"Where the hell else am I supposed to go?" Renji asked.
"I don't care, just get out."
Renji didn't know what was bothering Ichigo but he could tell something was different, something wrong. "Ichigo?" Renji asked. "Ichigo? Whats up with you?" Renji looked at Ichigo with a weird expression, Ichigo's eyes were dull, as if he was far away, dazed.
"Huh?" Ichigo seemed like life came back into his eyes. "Ha ha, nothing. I guess you could stay here but your sleeping on the floor." Ichigo laughed.
Somethings wrong with him.Renji thought as Ichigo closed the window then sat next to Renji. Puzzled, Renji looked at Ichigo, which turned into staring.
"What?" Ichigo asked, looking at Renji.
"I'll need blankets if I'm gonna sleep on the floor." Renji decided to say, he was going to ask Ichigo if anything was wrong, but decided otherwise.
Ichigoleft and returned with blankets, dropping them on the floor. "There, now get off my bed." Ichigo demanded.
"Fine. Fine. I'm gettin' up." Renji stood up and started fixing the blankets into a bed. Ichigo went to his own and sat down, watching Renji. After Renji was finished Ichigo stood up and turned off the light, returning to his bed once again, Ichigo fell asleep fast only to dream about Renji.
"Ichiiii-" Isshin burst through Ichigo's door only to be stopped when he saw Renji "-go?"
Ichigo said through a muffled voice, "Go away dad, I'm sleeping."
"But Yuzu wants you and your stranger to come to breakfast!" Isshin said loudly.
Ichigo grumbled and sat up. "He's not a stranger, he's a friend. If we're not down in five minutes, tell Yuzy not to worry about us."
"Yay! Yuzu! Ichigo-" Isshin ran out the door.
Ichigo slipped on a T-shirt and some old, worn-out, comfortable jeans. Wondering why his dad was so lively in the morning, Ichigo slightly shook Renji with his socked foot. "Hey get up."
Renji mumbled something Ichigo couldn't understand.
"I said, get up!" Ichigo shook Renji harder with his foot.
Renji sat up, revealing his chest (Renji is wearing boxers...). Renji rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes. Ichigo stared at Renji, he had never seen his bare chest before. Ichigo felt like he was being drawn in towards Renji, by something. Renji's tattoos didn't help Ichigo either. Ichigo sat down next to Renji and touched part of the tattoos on Renji's shoulder. Ichigo entered a trance, lost in his thoughts, dreams, and emotions, he started tracing Renji's tattoos.
Renji was rubbing his closed eyes, slowly waking up from the sleepiness, when he felt something cold touch his shoulder. Looking, Renji saw Ichigo with the same dazed expression as before. Confused, Renji stared at Ichigo when he started to trace his tattoos.
"I-Ichigo?" Renji asked, "Ichigo, what the hell?" Renji didn't know what to do. He liked the idea of Ichigo touching his tattoos, but at the same time he felt like Ichigo wasn't really there with him. "Ichigo." Renji said firmly. When Ichigo still didn't respond Renji grabbed both of Ichigo's hands and pinned him on the floor, causing Ichigo to hit his head. "Ichigo, you wanna tell me what the hell your problem is? Ichigo!"
Ichigo opened his eyes. Pain swirling in his head, he closed them again, only to open them back up with a surprised look on his face. Renji had an expression on his face somewhere mixed between worry and frustration. Renji's long red hair was down allowing it to flow freely around his face and shoulders, just long enough to tuch Ichigo's skin lighly. Ichigo realized what he had done. A slight blush entering Ichigo's cheeks he said, "S-sorry Renji, I didn't mean to do that I-I.."Ichigo's voice falter as Renji spoke.
"You what Ichigo? Something strange is going on with you. Somethings wrong."
Ichigo cringed under the last those last words. Was it wrong to think of Renji in that way? A new best friend and I have to think of him this way..." Ichigo wondered.
Renji hesitently got off Ichigo, he wanted to pull the male into his lap and slowly have his way as he played with him but Renji pushed that thought out of his mind. Ichigo was hiding something and he wanted to know what it was.
Renji pulled on the cloths that he had worn over to Ichigo's house; jeans and a short sleeved black shirt, decorated with red lightning print, he also pulled his hair up.
"Ichigo hurry up or we're gonna leave without you!" Someone yelled from down stairs. It was Karin's voice.
"Leave? What?" Ichigo said as he walked into the front room. Renji trailing behind.
"You forgot didn't you?" Karin said in an annoyed tone. " The trip? According to dad, we're all suppose to go camping this weekend remember?"
Ichigo looked at the bags on the floor. A firm hand was placed on his shoulder. "That's okay," Isshin said all too happy. "Ichigo's almost a grown man, he can stay home. And besides that means we get to have some father-daughters bonding time! Lets go!" Isshin said and started out the door, hands full of bags.
"Now look what you've gotten us into." Karin grumbled. "Come on, Yuzu." Karin reached down and grabbed her bags, Yuzu did the same and followed Karin out the door.
"And like that they were gone." Ichigo heard Renji say under his breath. Ichigo heard the engine start, but Karin came back through the door.
"Ichigo I forgot to warn you, don't cook anything, we don't want the house burnt down. Order take-out or something." Ichigo heard a muffled laugh from Renji as Karin said this. Karin gave one last look at Ichigo, then at Renji before closing the door and hearing the car take off a few seconds later.
"Man I'm hungry." Almost immediately after Renji had said this, Ichigo's and Renji's stomach growled in union. Both men let out a laugh. Seeing as there were eggs in the fridge, Ichigo figured he could manage those at the very least. After some very deliciously, unflaverful eggs Ichigo decided he should wash the dishes so they wouldn't pile up for Yuzu. Renji helped in the drying of the dishes.
Renji thought about Ichigo's strange behavior recently. He didn't know whether he should push it on him or not. Renji decided that there was only one way he would find out, if he forced an explanation out of Ichigo.
Ichigo wondered why Renji didn't ask about his behavior before, already. He could tell it was bugging him, Ichigo just didn't know how to bring it up and if he did, Ichigo knew he would have an extremely hard time explaining himself. Would he have to make up some lie instead of explaining himself? Lie to Renji? Ichigo hated the idea of it, lieing to his best friend would only make things worse.
"Ichigo..." Renji asked hesitantly, when they were back in Ichigo's room folding up the blankets Renji had used that night.
"Hm?" Ichigo asked, back turned to Renji as he was fixing his own bed. "Ya?"
"Ichigo.." Renji said.
Ichigo turned around at the tone in Renji's voice. Renji wore the same mixed expression as before, but this time it was tinged with determination. ShitIchigo thought. He's gonna ask about that, what am I gonna say? Ichigo worried.
Renji looked strait into Ichigo's eyes, determination stricken on his face. "Ichigo...What was up with you this morning and before we went to bed? Something's wrong, and I want to know. What is it?"
Ichigo still didn't know what to say, he looked down at the floor, face expressionless. He was gonna do it, answer all of the questions to the best of his ability. "I said I was sorry what more do you want?" No emotion. No nothing. Ichigo couldn't explain, he didn't know how.
"Dammit Ichigo, I demand an explaination!" Renji tooks a few steps closer to Ichigo leaving only a small space between the two.
"I don't know what happened. I started thinking and e-" Ichigo stopped talking. A small tear ran down his cheek. He didn't want to admit it all, not yet, but at the same time he did. His heart screamed at him to tell Renji his feelings, kiss him, let him in. Ichigo's brain told him otherwise, it brought in all the 'what ifs' and Ichigo listened to them.
"Thinking about what?" Renji asked softly.
Ichigo couldn't hold much more, he gave in slightly to his heart and whispered low, still looking at the ground, "You."
Renji's heart skipped a beat at this. He didn't know what to think. Ichigo acted like that because of me? Is he saying he has feelings for me? Renji's mind raced with a million questions.
Renji cupped Ichigo's face and brushed away a new escaped tear. Renji tilted Ichigo's chin up. He leaned down and kissed Ichigo's lips lightly. "Ichigo...." Renji whispered.
Ichigo could feel Renji's warm breath on his lips as Renji whispered his name so gently.
Ichigo furrowed his brows and said confused, "R-Renji I don't understand."
"Silly Strawberry, ya thought I wouldn't feel the same?"
"Renji? What the hell are you talking about?" Ichigo pushed past Renji, walking over to the other side of the room, taking a drink of some juice he had brought up with him earlier. Ichigo's hand was trembling, he didn't know what to do. Renji hand just kissed him.
"I guess I don't know?" Renji said confused. Did I get the wrong impression? I thought Ichigo liked me, am I wrong?In his pocket Renji's cell phone vibrated, he pulled it out saw the word 'mom' and decided not to answer it. "Uh, Ichigo..I'm..-er...sorry." Renji mumbled and walked out of Ichigo's room, planning on heading home. Apologizing wasn't one of Renji's favorite things to do, but he knew when it was appropriate to apologize, he expected others to do the same for him.
Ichigo stared at his glass. I can't let this happen. I don't care anymore. I want to find out..I need to find out.Ichigo ran out of his room. "Renji wait!" Ichigo shouted as he caught Renji by the arm just below the stairs.
"Huh?" Renji said as he turned towards Ichigo. Ichigo let go of Renji's arm. "What?"Renji asked.
"Um well.......eh nevermind." Ichigo turned around and took one step up the stairs only to be pulled off, swung around and kissed by Renji. Ichigo kissed back, not really caring anymore about hiding his feelings as their tongues clashed together.
Renji's phone vibrated in his pocket again, ruining the moment. Renji groaned, pulling out his cell phone, it was his mom again. "Sorry Ichigo." Renji said as he answered it.
Ichigo walked and sat down in his living room, waiting for Renji to finish.
"Hey Ichigo." Renji said walking into the living room, shoving his phone into his pocket. "Ya wanna go to my house?"
"Your house?" Ichigo asked, standing up. "Sure why not?"
Let me know if i should write more......
