Hey… just a little bit of comedy for ya. I'd like to dedicate it to my friends; Pippo, who makes me laugh at then gets mad at me for it, Beamer because she's kitty pink and saw a tan Volvo, and for Kenz because you read all my crap and even pretended it was funny. ; ) You guys are the best!
Summary: Stuck in Hokkaido, the second season Digidestined have to find a way back home. Cody thinks he can sell ketchup.... Mild Kensuke and an itty bit of Takari (uh, sorta). Yolei and Cody bashing… you can flame me for it at the bottom of the page. : )
Digidestined Stuck In Hokkaido…. Or…. Cody Sells Ketchup
"OH! A store!!!" screamed Yolei, "I've got to go and buy stuff! Give me money!"
Tk looked down at the small wad on cash in his hands; all the funds left for the end of the second generation Digidestined trip to Hokkaido. There wasn't very much left and Yolei wanted to go and buy more stuff?!? They needed that money to get back home!
Tk set his resolve face and began to lecture, "Yolei! You have already bought two "I love Hokkaido" hats, a book on tourism, a yellow lighter, a mirror, an antenna, neon green nail polish, a mug for your mother, and a box of guinea pig food (Do you even have a guinea pig?) AND you wolfed down three extra value meals at McDonalds! You have spent waaay more than your share and there is no way you are getting that money!"
Tk's jaw hit the ground as he realized that the money in his hand was gone and Yolei could be seen from the store window, already at the cash register, buying who knows what.
"Hey man," said Davis, patting the blonde's shoulder, "It's not so bad. Maybe she actually bought something useful this time."
"GUYS!" screeched Yolei, "Check it out! I got two stuffed hippos!"
Everyone was mystified at Yolei's stupidity. She had bought not just one, but two, TWO, useless stuffed hippos, which undoubtedly cost a lot more than they should have.
"Uh, guys," started Tk, but Yolei cut him off, splashing in the puddles formed from the previous night's rain.
"See, one is orange, and it's really soft. I'm gonna call him Snorty."
"Uh… guys," tried Tk, again. But once again, Yolei interrupted.
"And this other one is polka dotted! I know, it's sooo chic. His name is Toro, which means bull. See, it'll confuse him. Won't it Toro? Yes, yes it will."
"THE SKY IS ON FIRE AND THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!" screamed Tk, finally getting everyone's attention (though it's not like they wanted to listen to anymore of Yolei's inane babble).
"Ok, now that you are listening: Yolei spent the last of our money on those STUPID stuffed hippos…"
Yolei had the idiocy…uh… I mean decency to look offended.
"… So we have NO money left. As in none, zero, zilch, nothing. We are stuck here."
Eyes widened at this statement.
"We're stuck? Stranded? FOREVER DOOMED TO LIVE THE REST OF OUR LIVES HERE???" said Davis in an overly loud voice.
Ken responded, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Yolei can just go and return those foolish little tokens and then we'll all be back on our way to Odaibah."
Davis stopped hyperventilating and Kari smiled with relief. Tk was still shocked that Yolei had just taken the money from his hand and not even listened to the end of his harangue. Everyone's eyes shifted to Yolei, who was staring sheepishly at her shoes.
"Uh…. Well… um… actually," said Yolei, shuffling her feet, "Uh… you see, I kinda, sorta ripped the tags off and ran off without the receipt because I was so happy to have the little hippos. Sorry?"
Cody, who has been quiet up until now because… well… he's Cody, finally exploded, "YOU SPENT THE LAST OF OUR MONEY ON THOSE ABSURD PUFFY TOYS!!! GOD DAMNIT YOLEI!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW???"
"I said I was sorry!"
"Well that's just great! Sorry will fix everything! Now we can go home on the magical free train and they will give us Popsicles half way there!!!" yelled Cody.
"Really? Popsicles?" asked Yolei, getting excited at the thought of the frozen treat.
Davis groaned, "Oh come on! Even I know he was being sarcastic! You really screwed up this time, nitwit."
Yolei went back to looking at her shoes.
"Well you guys are lucky that I have my ketchup with me," said Cody, pulling out a giant thing of ketchup from who knows where, "I'll sell it on the side of the street and earn us money for the train back home."
Everyone tried not to laugh, but a few snickers still escaped. Cody was going to sell ketchup. KETCHUP! It was just insane. But apparently he thought it was going to work. Cody walked to the side of the road, lugging the ketchup behind him. The rest of the group watched him expectantly, still giggling a bit.
"Ketchup," his scratchy voice wailed, "Ketchup for sale! Get it while it's here! Ketchup for sale!"
Kari looked at Cody, standing at the side of the road, in the middle of a city block and said, "Hey, uh, maybe you might want to go someplace that people will want to buy…. ::giggle:: ketchup." She blinked, trying to keep from laughing out loud, "Like near a hotdog stand or something."
Cody's eyes narrow and his lips pursed, "No. I think I'll be fine here."
Seeing a car coming down the road at an extremely fast pace, Tk tried to warn him, "You might want to move…."
"I'M NOT MOVING!" interrupted the shorter boy.
"But there's a…." Ken tried.
"I'M. NOT. MOVING." Clipped Cody, being stubborn.
"But CODY!" said Davis frantically.
Yolei made up a song about bubble gum and sang it to herself.
"I AM…" but Cody stopped talking when a tan Volvo sped by him and splashed muddy water all over him and the ketchup. The driver grinned manically and sped off, leaving the kids to read his "Kitanas Rule" bumper sticker.
Covered in dirty, splotchy, muddy water, Cody could only sputter and stare after the car. He turned and looked at the street, the ketchup (which was now all sploshy), the street, the ketchup, the street, and finally the ketchup.
"I TRIED TO TELL YOU!" teased Davis, earning himself a glare from the rest of the group until he sat down on the sidewalk next to Ken.
Cody glared some more before kicking the ketchup all over the sidewalk, much of it landing on Yolei, who had gone from singing her bubble gum song to doing the ducky dance.
"Well now we're screwed. No more ketchup to sell. We might as well just give up AND DIE!!!" said the pissed off Cody.
"Yo, it's ok," said Tk, putting a hesitant arm around Cody's shoulder (after all, it was all wet and gooky), "We'll think of another way to get home."
"Yeah, sure another way. Someone we know will just pull up in a van and have enough room for all of us to ride back with them!" yelled Cody sarcastically.
Just then, Matt and his band pulled up in the van. Matt rolled down the window and said, "Hey guys! You need a lift back home? Hop in; we've got plenty of room! Because this is the Shaggin' Wagon, and it's got lots of room for the chicks to spread out and reeeelax. Not that Tai would let me…. Stupid uptight boyfriends and their not wanting to have a threesome…. I mean I begged and pleaded with that guy. But did he listen? No! He just sat there, pursing his pouty little lips and… " Matt stopped talking as he realized that he had said too much.
"And maybe someone will make me taller and get me a better haircut," Cody tried, figuring that if it worked once….
The tan Volvo came racing down the road again, and splashed Cody with the puddle, again.
Cody looked up at the sky, mumbling about God really hating him and climbed into the back of the van, his shoes making squishing noises as he moved. Kari quickly followed with Tk on her heels (almost literally… he was trying to "accidentally" fall over and grab her ass). Once he was sitting down, Tk realized that Davis, Ken, and Yolei weren't in the van yet. He stuck his head outside and saw Davis and Ken sitting on the sidewalk making out like there was no tomorrow.
"Hey guys…. We got a ride, let's go!"
They continued to make out.
"Guys come on."
Davis made a little noise and moved closer to Ken.
"Guys?"
Realizing that they weren't going to be stopping, Tk decided to try for Yolei, even if her foolhardiness did get them into the whole mess in the first place. Looking to the left of the two guys, Tk saw Yolei asleep on the sidewalk, covered in ketchup with the assorted things she had bought around her. One more glance to Davis and Ken and Tk sat back down.
"Aw… forget them… I'm missing Blue's Clues. Today is the day that Steve and Blue are going to sit around and think about stuff!!!" his eyes widened in horror at the thought of missing his favorite show, "STEP ON IT MATT!!!"
"I swear, Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper are finally going to admit that they adopted Paprika," said Kari, starting an in-depth discussion the plotlines of Blue's Clues.
Back at the sidewalk, Ken and Davis continued to make out for several more minutes, before they came up for air. Davis looked around in confusion.
"Hey, where'd everybody go?" after a brief pause, he continued, "And why the hell did they leave us with Yolei?"
"Hmph. They obviously found a way out of here," replied Ken.
The two looked at each other, the empty space around them, and at the sleeping Yolei, before they both shrugged and went back to their previous business.
Minutes later, an elderly woman walked past Yolei.
"Oh you poor dear," she said, looking down at Yolei's assorted crap and ketchup covered form, "You're so poor… and you're sooo ugly! Here's a couple dollars to help you out."
Then the old woman reached into her purse and pulled out some money and threw it into one of Yolei's hats, before walking off.
"Hey," said Davis, pulling away from Ken, "Check it out! Yolei's got some money!"
He and Ken crawled over to Yolei, who had begun to drool. Davis snaked a hand out and snatched the bills.
"SCORE!" he cried, "Let's get out of here!"
And with that, he grabbed Ken's hand and the two ran off for the subway station with enough money for two tickets and soda. The two spent the whole ride home necking and almost missed their stop because of it.
A few hours later, Yolei woke up, covered in drool, ketchup and general sidewalk trash. She looked around her and (surprisingly) realized that she was all alone.
"Well Snorty, Toro, it's gonna be a loooong walk home."
Summary: Stuck in Hokkaido, the second season Digidestined have to find a way back home. Cody thinks he can sell ketchup.... Mild Kensuke and an itty bit of Takari (uh, sorta). Yolei and Cody bashing… you can flame me for it at the bottom of the page. : )
Digidestined Stuck In Hokkaido…. Or…. Cody Sells Ketchup
"OH! A store!!!" screamed Yolei, "I've got to go and buy stuff! Give me money!"
Tk looked down at the small wad on cash in his hands; all the funds left for the end of the second generation Digidestined trip to Hokkaido. There wasn't very much left and Yolei wanted to go and buy more stuff?!? They needed that money to get back home!
Tk set his resolve face and began to lecture, "Yolei! You have already bought two "I love Hokkaido" hats, a book on tourism, a yellow lighter, a mirror, an antenna, neon green nail polish, a mug for your mother, and a box of guinea pig food (Do you even have a guinea pig?) AND you wolfed down three extra value meals at McDonalds! You have spent waaay more than your share and there is no way you are getting that money!"
Tk's jaw hit the ground as he realized that the money in his hand was gone and Yolei could be seen from the store window, already at the cash register, buying who knows what.
"Hey man," said Davis, patting the blonde's shoulder, "It's not so bad. Maybe she actually bought something useful this time."
"GUYS!" screeched Yolei, "Check it out! I got two stuffed hippos!"
Everyone was mystified at Yolei's stupidity. She had bought not just one, but two, TWO, useless stuffed hippos, which undoubtedly cost a lot more than they should have.
"Uh, guys," started Tk, but Yolei cut him off, splashing in the puddles formed from the previous night's rain.
"See, one is orange, and it's really soft. I'm gonna call him Snorty."
"Uh… guys," tried Tk, again. But once again, Yolei interrupted.
"And this other one is polka dotted! I know, it's sooo chic. His name is Toro, which means bull. See, it'll confuse him. Won't it Toro? Yes, yes it will."
"THE SKY IS ON FIRE AND THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!" screamed Tk, finally getting everyone's attention (though it's not like they wanted to listen to anymore of Yolei's inane babble).
"Ok, now that you are listening: Yolei spent the last of our money on those STUPID stuffed hippos…"
Yolei had the idiocy…uh… I mean decency to look offended.
"… So we have NO money left. As in none, zero, zilch, nothing. We are stuck here."
Eyes widened at this statement.
"We're stuck? Stranded? FOREVER DOOMED TO LIVE THE REST OF OUR LIVES HERE???" said Davis in an overly loud voice.
Ken responded, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Yolei can just go and return those foolish little tokens and then we'll all be back on our way to Odaibah."
Davis stopped hyperventilating and Kari smiled with relief. Tk was still shocked that Yolei had just taken the money from his hand and not even listened to the end of his harangue. Everyone's eyes shifted to Yolei, who was staring sheepishly at her shoes.
"Uh…. Well… um… actually," said Yolei, shuffling her feet, "Uh… you see, I kinda, sorta ripped the tags off and ran off without the receipt because I was so happy to have the little hippos. Sorry?"
Cody, who has been quiet up until now because… well… he's Cody, finally exploded, "YOU SPENT THE LAST OF OUR MONEY ON THOSE ABSURD PUFFY TOYS!!! GOD DAMNIT YOLEI!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW???"
"I said I was sorry!"
"Well that's just great! Sorry will fix everything! Now we can go home on the magical free train and they will give us Popsicles half way there!!!" yelled Cody.
"Really? Popsicles?" asked Yolei, getting excited at the thought of the frozen treat.
Davis groaned, "Oh come on! Even I know he was being sarcastic! You really screwed up this time, nitwit."
Yolei went back to looking at her shoes.
"Well you guys are lucky that I have my ketchup with me," said Cody, pulling out a giant thing of ketchup from who knows where, "I'll sell it on the side of the street and earn us money for the train back home."
Everyone tried not to laugh, but a few snickers still escaped. Cody was going to sell ketchup. KETCHUP! It was just insane. But apparently he thought it was going to work. Cody walked to the side of the road, lugging the ketchup behind him. The rest of the group watched him expectantly, still giggling a bit.
"Ketchup," his scratchy voice wailed, "Ketchup for sale! Get it while it's here! Ketchup for sale!"
Kari looked at Cody, standing at the side of the road, in the middle of a city block and said, "Hey, uh, maybe you might want to go someplace that people will want to buy…. ::giggle:: ketchup." She blinked, trying to keep from laughing out loud, "Like near a hotdog stand or something."
Cody's eyes narrow and his lips pursed, "No. I think I'll be fine here."
Seeing a car coming down the road at an extremely fast pace, Tk tried to warn him, "You might want to move…."
"I'M NOT MOVING!" interrupted the shorter boy.
"But there's a…." Ken tried.
"I'M. NOT. MOVING." Clipped Cody, being stubborn.
"But CODY!" said Davis frantically.
Yolei made up a song about bubble gum and sang it to herself.
"I AM…" but Cody stopped talking when a tan Volvo sped by him and splashed muddy water all over him and the ketchup. The driver grinned manically and sped off, leaving the kids to read his "Kitanas Rule" bumper sticker.
Covered in dirty, splotchy, muddy water, Cody could only sputter and stare after the car. He turned and looked at the street, the ketchup (which was now all sploshy), the street, the ketchup, the street, and finally the ketchup.
"I TRIED TO TELL YOU!" teased Davis, earning himself a glare from the rest of the group until he sat down on the sidewalk next to Ken.
Cody glared some more before kicking the ketchup all over the sidewalk, much of it landing on Yolei, who had gone from singing her bubble gum song to doing the ducky dance.
"Well now we're screwed. No more ketchup to sell. We might as well just give up AND DIE!!!" said the pissed off Cody.
"Yo, it's ok," said Tk, putting a hesitant arm around Cody's shoulder (after all, it was all wet and gooky), "We'll think of another way to get home."
"Yeah, sure another way. Someone we know will just pull up in a van and have enough room for all of us to ride back with them!" yelled Cody sarcastically.
Just then, Matt and his band pulled up in the van. Matt rolled down the window and said, "Hey guys! You need a lift back home? Hop in; we've got plenty of room! Because this is the Shaggin' Wagon, and it's got lots of room for the chicks to spread out and reeeelax. Not that Tai would let me…. Stupid uptight boyfriends and their not wanting to have a threesome…. I mean I begged and pleaded with that guy. But did he listen? No! He just sat there, pursing his pouty little lips and… " Matt stopped talking as he realized that he had said too much.
"And maybe someone will make me taller and get me a better haircut," Cody tried, figuring that if it worked once….
The tan Volvo came racing down the road again, and splashed Cody with the puddle, again.
Cody looked up at the sky, mumbling about God really hating him and climbed into the back of the van, his shoes making squishing noises as he moved. Kari quickly followed with Tk on her heels (almost literally… he was trying to "accidentally" fall over and grab her ass). Once he was sitting down, Tk realized that Davis, Ken, and Yolei weren't in the van yet. He stuck his head outside and saw Davis and Ken sitting on the sidewalk making out like there was no tomorrow.
"Hey guys…. We got a ride, let's go!"
They continued to make out.
"Guys come on."
Davis made a little noise and moved closer to Ken.
"Guys?"
Realizing that they weren't going to be stopping, Tk decided to try for Yolei, even if her foolhardiness did get them into the whole mess in the first place. Looking to the left of the two guys, Tk saw Yolei asleep on the sidewalk, covered in ketchup with the assorted things she had bought around her. One more glance to Davis and Ken and Tk sat back down.
"Aw… forget them… I'm missing Blue's Clues. Today is the day that Steve and Blue are going to sit around and think about stuff!!!" his eyes widened in horror at the thought of missing his favorite show, "STEP ON IT MATT!!!"
"I swear, Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper are finally going to admit that they adopted Paprika," said Kari, starting an in-depth discussion the plotlines of Blue's Clues.
Back at the sidewalk, Ken and Davis continued to make out for several more minutes, before they came up for air. Davis looked around in confusion.
"Hey, where'd everybody go?" after a brief pause, he continued, "And why the hell did they leave us with Yolei?"
"Hmph. They obviously found a way out of here," replied Ken.
The two looked at each other, the empty space around them, and at the sleeping Yolei, before they both shrugged and went back to their previous business.
Minutes later, an elderly woman walked past Yolei.
"Oh you poor dear," she said, looking down at Yolei's assorted crap and ketchup covered form, "You're so poor… and you're sooo ugly! Here's a couple dollars to help you out."
Then the old woman reached into her purse and pulled out some money and threw it into one of Yolei's hats, before walking off.
"Hey," said Davis, pulling away from Ken, "Check it out! Yolei's got some money!"
He and Ken crawled over to Yolei, who had begun to drool. Davis snaked a hand out and snatched the bills.
"SCORE!" he cried, "Let's get out of here!"
And with that, he grabbed Ken's hand and the two ran off for the subway station with enough money for two tickets and soda. The two spent the whole ride home necking and almost missed their stop because of it.
A few hours later, Yolei woke up, covered in drool, ketchup and general sidewalk trash. She looked around her and (surprisingly) realized that she was all alone.
"Well Snorty, Toro, it's gonna be a loooong walk home."
