Through the Looking Glass—
—and back again
Pairing: Yuffentine
Rating: G
Note: Written for the Mirror of Erised Meme and even though this story features said mirror it contains no other HP-world magic. Basically it treats the mirror as a cursed artifact that shows up to cause epiphanies whenever it wants to. Also I figured out how to do the em dash on command so I abused the crap out of it. The first part takes place just post ffvii and the later part takes place a year or so after -posted to AO3 and my tumblr.
And all the harm that e'er I've done alas it was to none but me. And all I've done for want of wit, too many now I can't recall. So fill to me the parting glass; goodnight and joy be with you all…
How the mirror came to be in the old mansion, he wasn't sure, it seemed to simply be there one day with all its glittering falsity, taking up the old corner were his coffin had once lain. He has not returned this spot for quite some time, but he can think of no one that would put such a thing here. No one dare visit this place other than the members of AVALANCHE; who sometimes used the old mansion as a way station when traveling.
His friends know that he is a self-deprecating individual at heart and would never be so cruel as to leave him to dwell with mirror's peculiar power.
'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi'
The riddle takes only a few minutes to decipher; a backwards message meant to be read with a mirror. How ironic. 'I show not your face but your heart's desire'
If he were a man for laughing then he would have, bitterly.
He doesn't need a mirror to tell him what he desires most, he knows it intimately. He has run it through his head for thirty years in the darkness, ceaseless, tormenting in its unobtainability. Vincent Valentine is his own personal mirror of Erised.
When he discovers it the first time, just after the METEOR fiasco he is shocked to see Lucrecia's face, just as he remembered it all those years ago, bright and brimming with hope for what the world could accomplish, starring back at him.
Lucrecia smiles and tugs on mirror Vincent's Turk uniform and he smiles back at her. It is the smile he had left behind on Hojo's operation table, warm and full, one he has just begun to try and recreate now with the help of his friends.
They look at him expectantly and he feels himself an inadequate reflection for them. He knows very well that they aren't real, and it is with the greatest amount of self-control, ingrained from years' worth of shoving Chaos into the recessed of his mind, that he manages to merely walk away rather than implant a bullet in the enchanted glass.
He knows that if he allows himself to stay and languish in the mirror's illusion, he would be no better than he was lying silent in his coffin. A slave to the past.
Unseen by him Mirror Vincent dissipates; leaving only the reflection of the scientist who had been so dear to him. She watches his retreating back, saddened and unable to explain; the mirror cannot explain— only enlighten, before she too fades away.
Vincent considers removing the mirror from his residence, but he doesn't have the courage to stand before it again and face his dream's judgment.
So he leaves it be.
Years pass and he changes, in small ways and in large ways.
Finally absolved of his sins, his blood feels lighter than he can ever remember it. He knows the mirror is still there collecting dust in his old coffin room but he ignores its existence, unsure and unwilling to know what he would see now.
He hopes that the image has changed yet is ashamed of want it. It feels like a betrayal to her memory, not wishing to see her in the mirrors enchantment. All in all with the company he keeps Vincent should have known it was only a matter of time before someone found it.
Yuffie stays at his home when she is nearby; which is increasingly more often than not. Vincent has long wondered what her increased business in Nibelhiem could possibly be, Wutai was not exactly a hop and a skip away and by all accounts her father wanted her to take the throne so that he could retire. Yuffie has never brought it up though; she doesn't talk about Wutai much at all really and she doesn't want to talk about it then he can extend her the courtesy of not asking.
No matter the reason, if she didn't want to be in Wutai it was better for her to be here, or Edge, where he, someone, could watch out for her.
"Hey Vinnie, what's with the funky mirror? I didn't take you for the decorative type!" The young, still so young, ninja calls from the basment. He knows in an instant what mirror she is talking of and he curses himself for foolishly letting her wander where she will.
As if he could stop her.
Vincent knows that telling her not to enter that room would have made her actively search out its secrets. It was in Yuffie's nature to want what she wasn't allowed to have. Maybe if he was lucky she would see the value in a cursed mirror and steal it from him.
"WHOA, Hold the phone! Whats with this thing?"
Vincent finds her starring at the mirror in wonder, hands on her nearly nonexistent hips, all angles and sharp turns as she tries to figure out how the cursed glass works. She runs in and out of frame, half playing, and half experimenting with its limits. Once upon a time it would have annoyed him, her inability to stay still long enough to read the inscription rather than —literally—running around in an attempt to figure it out the hard way.
After knowing her for so long it doesn't bother him much at all. Yuffie will be Yuffie: it was a near constant in his world.
Despite whatever quiet amusement the spectacle gave him, Vincent does his best to keep the mirror out of his sight.
"So were you ever going to tell us that in between sulking sessions and saving the world you were starting a marvelous career in magical antiques?"
"Hardly." He answers dryly. If she notices his aversion to the mirror then she doesn't mention it. Yuffie takes him not dragging her away from the magic glass as a sign that it's most than likely not going to come alive and attempt to kill her. Instead his self-proclaimed 'partner is crime' goes to stand directly in front of it, inspecting the mirror closer.
Vincent watches as her assessing expression changes to one of confusion and then a few moments later, amazement.
The gunman wonders what she is seeing through the heart-reading lens. If asked in the early days of their acquaintance he would have guessed it to be the most impressive of Materia hauls, littered with other items she had set her thieving eyes and hands on, but that vision of Yuffie is old and stale; most likely never real in the first place.
Having spent many missions and countless hours in the girl-woman's company he knew, perhaps better than anyone, that there was much more to Yuffie than her vain vainer would suggest.
His second blush thought was that she is seeing the restoration of Wutai; a long held goal of hers. And while it was true that her homeland had begun to restore its former glory under her father's leadership and her many deeds; it would be a long time, possibly past her lifetime, before Wutai reached its peak. And she seemed to actively avoiding her birth home, so perhaps not.
In all honesty Vincent has no idea what exactly his sometimes companion would see in the mirror that showed your hearts greatest desire. Vincent wonders if he has lost his powers of observation or if the girl who wore her wants on the turn of her non-existent sleeves has turned into someone infinitely more complicated.
After a few uncharacteristically chatter free moments Yuffie assaults him with her questions. "So what's this thing supposed to do anyways? All I'm getting is just us, only not where we're standing. Actually I was getting us before you even skulked into the room." She turns to face him, her features upturned in confusion. "So what gives?"
He blinks. "What do you see?" He doesn't understand. Did the mirror not work for her?
The black haired girl huffs as if explaining herself to him is a terrible chore that she has to be burdened with. Maybe it is. "I told you already, weren't you listening? They say that the first thing to go is the hearing and let's face it buddy you're getting up there in age."
"Yuffie." She is familiar with the tone in which he has said her name; monotone to anyone else, but with her ears she is able hear the exasperation and mild defeat in his voice.
"Okay okay, geez, you're zero amounts of fun you know that?" She blows a raspberry at him for good measure and re-faces the mirror. "Alright, so… I see myself and you're right next to me and I'm talking at you, probably telling you to chill out or to let me finally install some real electrical lighting in this dark old place. Either or really. And you are just standing there, probably not appreciating how amazing and smart my ideas are, being the same old dark and depressing you as always. Is that what this thing does? Show your daily life or something?" Yuffie tsks and pouts, clearly unimpressed. "How boring, I got all excited for nothing."
Vincent freezes for a moment or two at most, and then without a word of explanation shepherds the kunoichi away from the mirror of erised altogether.
That night, after his houseguest is asleep he returns to the mirror to see what has changed.
Lucrecia is there still, but she is not the same vision as from 4 years ago. He is no longer reflected besides her and her lab coat has been replaced with the dress she wore in the mako caves. She isn't as warm as before, and in fact looks burdened with something she is unable to give voice to. Still she smile when she sees him and it makes him heart ache.
Vincent tries to make sense of the re-vision and the bombshell that his companion has laid on him without realizing it.
It made little sense; surely Yuffie was lying, seeing something she was uncomfortable sharing with him instead, causing her to fudge the truth. Even as he paces back and forth in front of the mirror, Lucrecia watching him as always, he knows that this is untrue.
Yuffie was incapable of lying to him, especially on the spot. He would have seen the falsity in her body language; her knees would have locked, her jaw tensing and loosening unnaturally, her sometimes grey, sometimes brown eyes unable to meet his for too long.
She was telling the truth. She saw nothing but their day-to-day interactions as her hearts most precious wish and that is what confuses Vincent most.
Mirror Lucrecia rolls her eyes and gestures to behind him. She looks almost amused when Vincent turns to see the young ninja clad in her sleeping attire, which did no more than her usual gear to shield her from the elements.
"So, this mirror, it's like your secret lair to escape from the world?" She speaks as she hops down the stair three at a time. "It's probably a lot more convent than trekking all the way out to the mako catacombs.." Yuffies smiles, but it's nowhere near the megawatt one that she usually adorns, and mildly waves beyond him at the mirror.
Vincent's confusion moves him to words. "You can see her?"
Her tiny shoulders shrug as if they are heavier than they really are. "No." She answers simply and comes to stand beside him, looking in the mirror as if maybe if she looked hard enough she would be able to see what he sees; But Yuffie can't see her—will never be able to see her. "But I knew you would." Yuffie snorts to herself without any really joy and lays her tiny hand on the mirror. "Hey Lucrecia. Luci? Mind if I call you that? I feel as if we're de-facto friends at this point. Us ladies have to stick together if we're going to have any chance of dealing with mister tall dark and depressing over here."
Vincent doesn't know how to take her statement, or any of her statements really. Lucrecia spun by whatever magic powered the artifact, smiles and fits her hand on top of Yuffie's smaller one. Wither the action is in pity or kindness or solidarity, he doesn't know, but he feels small under the disapproving expression that the illusion sends him.
It strikes him as odd; in life Lucrecia wouldn't have very much liked Yuffie; she was too wild, too uncertain; like a volatile chemical compound that could explode at any moment. Lucrecia didn't like uncertainty; but with their hands almost touching , nothing but the smallest sliver of glass separating them , and in spite of the stark differences between them, Vincent can't help but think that Yuffie would have summersaulted her way into the scientist's affections regardless.
She had a habit of doing that.
"When did you figure out?"
Yuffie doesn't need him to elaborate on what he means; she's known him long enough, her Vincentese is too fluent, to need clarification. "I snuck back in after dinner. Ninja, duh." She removes her hand and instead looks at the words scripted on the frame. "Your greatest desire huh? Well doesn't that just suck for me? I'm seeing us the way we are and you're seeing your ex-girlfriend. I sure know how to pick them don't I? Can't say I'm surprised though, you always have to take the hard way don't you Vinnie?"
In her sleeping shorts and top wrap she is little more than a slip of a woman in comparison to him; but Vincent can't dismiss her feelings as the outburst of a child like he used to.
Lucrecia looks forlorn like she had in the mako crystal; guilty over what she couldn't control. Her chocolate brown eyes burrow into him, imploring him to —something. The mirror offers no knowledge, no explanation to what she is trying to make him understand.
Yuffie faces him, a bit disheartened, but still smiling; always smiling. It's in her nature. "So you know about my deal, what's yours? It's only fair that you tell me. I show you mine, you show me yours. What's Luci doing? Are there little super smart red-eyed babies running around in labcoats hanging off your gloom cloak?"
That is the last thing that is happening; had the subject not been so tense then he is sure that Yuffie would have laughed at the expression on his face.
"She is standing there. She looks upset."
"Your greatest wish is Luci being sad? That's sounds wrong, maybe this thing is busted after all and I don't really want to jump your bones." She blanches, realizing she's said too much. "Not that was what I was seeing or anything! No bone jumping over here, just nice and clean everyday stuff. No cosmos shifting sexual encounters in my dream mirror, nope, nope ,nope." She pointedly stops looking at the mirror, turning her back on it with a blush.
He ignores the later part of her statement in favor of explaining the former because he isn't entirely sure how to deal with it right now; if ever. "She's upset because you are upset."
Vincent Valentine is sure that he will never understand women, even the ones that he has come to care for. "And that doesn't strike you as odd?" She sing-songs, hinting at something that is over his head completely.
"Most things are odd when you are factored in."
"You—!" The lithe ninja stomps her feet and puffs out her cheeks in indignation. "Ohhhh Vincent Valentine you are the dumbest smart person I have ever known! If you can't figure out what she is trying to tell you then I'm not going to explain it either! Jerk!"
Lucrecia's face falls even more as she looks between them; unable to say what it is that she means; or at least what Vincent's subconscious wants her to tell him. She points at Yuffie's retreating form, imploring him to go after her, think harder, set her straight: something.
Like most things where the young ninja is concerned, he is out of idea on how to proceed.
Yuffie's greatest desire was to stay by him, and apparently that included a very imaginative sexual component as well, the idea leaves a odd taste in his mouth; but one that he feels as if he can get used to.
It wasn't so shocking a thought; she practically lived with him these last few months and it wasn't as if she possessed even an ounce of subtly in her personality at all. It was rather a matter of him not being sure if he was capable of giving her what she wanted.
It wasn't as if the idea had never occurred to him; him and her, and the idea was not an unpleasant one.
He had spent more time with Yuffie than he had with possibly any other person since his reawakening. She was nothing like Lucrecia, in temperament, in action or in appearance; but many times he finds that to be the biggest relief. When he looks at the kunoichi he doesn't see shadows of the past like he sees in everyone else: He sees Yuffie and only Yuffie.
"I understand now." He speaks out loud, feeling as if the moment deserves some vocalization to confirm its gravity.
His greatest desire was no longer to change the past, but to have Lucrecia's permission to move on, into the future without her.
Vincent is sure that the epiphany should be more disconcerting than it is; but he isn't. It only makes him feel warm and light, as if he has admitted something that he has always known but feared to voice, lest he destroy it. In the mirror Lucrecia's image sighs, a small smile on her lips as her edges start to blur.
As she blinks in out of existence Lucrecia is replaced by the image that Yuffie has described earlier. He is as he is now, listening as the ninja heckles him about something or other, like she has done, and will continue to do for as long as he lets her. His reflection doesn't smile, but there is a warm countenance about him, a lightness that he has only rarely felt, as he pats the ninja on the head, with his claw hand, unafraid of hurting her and pull her into a light embrace. Yuffie doesn't stop yelling, which doesn't surprise him in the least, but she goes boneless against him.
It's not exactly what the ninja would call romance of a lifetime material, but the reflection looks like someone he can picture himself being; comfortable, content, happy.
Lucrecia doesn't look afraid as she is replaced by the new vision and for that he is thankful. Instead she fades away gently, like a thick fog clearing to reveal the sun that had been there all along. She smiles and he is almost sure that she mouths 'good luck' as she disappears completely.
Vincent does not believe that he will being seeing her again. The thought doesn't hurt like it once might have. Instead he sets his mind on the woman who was currently annoyed with him and how he can possibly make her sympathetic to him just figuring out what he knew all along.
Days later, after some hard made negotiations and awkwardly charming talks about the future, their future, Yuffie sneaks down to the basement to install lights —actual electrical lights!— and finds that spot where the mirror had sat only days prior was empty; as if it had never been there at all.
