"Wormtail!" bellowed a very cranky Lord Voldemort. The Muggle family he had come to kill happened to have a Squib and also happened to have a stock of Floo Powder. He tended to be cranky if he didn't get his daily dose of Muggle killings. And, unfortunately for Wormtail, he was a low fat substitute.
"Y-y-yes, m'L-lord?" stammered Wormtail as he slunk into the room.
"Come closer," Voldemort's voice was deadly quite. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. Something else had caught his attention, "What is that?" He pointed to a computer sitting on a desk. Most Muggles had them and one was always using it when he came to kill them.
Wormtail blinked, "That? It's er...a personal computer. It is a form of Muggle entertainment." He paused to consider asking his master why he was interested in it, then dismissed the thought. It wasn't often that the Dark Lord forgot to torture him.
"How does it work?"
"Well, you push this to turn it on," the machine whirred to life, "and then you log on to one of the accounts." He clicked on the first name, Julie. Voldemort vaguely remembered that Julie was the youngest child.
"Now what, Wormtail?"
"You can do whatever you want. Just click on the pictures."
"I shall search this personal computer and see if I might be able to use it. Go search the rest of the house." Wormtail scampered away.
Scanning the pictures, Voldemort decided on a large, blue e. Another window popped up.
Welcome to Neopets! Sign up here, it's completely free!
Intrigued, he clicked there: Choose a username.
"Lord Voldemort" Sorry, usernames can't have spaces in them. "LordVoldemort" Sorry, that username is already taken. "TheDarkLord" Sorry, that username is already taken.
After many tries, he finally settled on LVwillruleyou.
Getting started: Earn Neopoints to buy things. You can do this by playing games.
For the next ten minutes, Voldemort attempted to play Hannah and the Pirate Caves. After losing on the first training level for the 50th time in a row, he quit in frustration.
"Who is responsible for such evil as this game?"
He scrolled down the page and clicked on About Us.
Adam Powell currently has 11,070,972 Neopoints, more than you-haha!
"You dare mock me Adam Powell! We'll see who has more Neopoints in the end. Accio Adam's Neopoints!" He grinned evilly as the page refreshed to show Adam with 0 Neopoints and him with 11,070,972 Neopoints. Something else had appeared on the page as well.
Something has happened! You are now eligible to use 'Number Six' as an avatar on the Neoboards!
The word Neoboards was a link, so he clicked on it. A list came up with links, such as Trades/Auctions, Games, and Help. He clicked on the first one, Avatars.
Lyk ONG!shft!1!one!1! Luk wut avv13 i g0t!
by: xsammyxpwnsx
"Gah, my slits! What stupid Muggle code is this!" He clicked on the board made by xsammyxpwnsx.
Posted by xsammyxpwnsx: Adam haz kn0w NP!one!1!1shift!
Posted by faifywasfrozen: sry, i don't speak noobish, ya noob!
"So this strange text is noobish," he muttered.
Posted by ratspwnu: You pathetic noob! (attach) Crucio (/attach)
Of course, only Voldemortsaw the attached curse. Muggles don't see anything now do they? Under the post, in the signature, was Wizards click here. So he did.
Secret Wizards' Board
Voldemort haters come here
by: snitchsnatcher
"The outrage!" He clicked on the board.
Posted by snitchsnatcher: So who thinks Voldemort's an ugly git?
Posted by sidekickboy: Hehe, I do:D
Posted by hogwartsahistory: Be careful you two:O
Posted by snitchsnatcher: I doubt he plays Neopets.
Posted by phoenixluver: I-being cleverer than most-agree.
Posted by hogwartsahistory: hmph :(
Posted by ratspwnu: You will pay! Wait until the Dark Lord hears of this.
Posted by sidekickboy: -gigglesnort- Yeah right!
Posted by snitchsnatcher: We all know you don't have the balls to do that, Wormtail.
Posted by LVwillruleyou: Is that you, Potter?
Posted by hogwartsahistory: Told you. Nyah!
Posted by snitchsnatcher: uh...g2g
Posted by sidekickboy: right behind you
Posted by hogwartsahistory: later
Posted by phoenixluver: Alas, I must be going as well
Posted by ratspwnu: LVwillruleyou, want to cyber?
"G2g? Cyber?" Having has enough of chat speak, Voldemort clicked the News link.
MUAHAHA! I, Dr. Sloth, have taken over Neopia...
"WHAT! Noone but I shall rule! Avada Kedavra!" With that, the computer screen went blank.
"Wormtail! Fetch me another personal computer!"
Five months later:
Harry anxiously entered the Riddle mansion. He had destroyed all the Horcruxes and was going to face Voldemort for the last time. Remembering the dream he had the summer before his Fourth Year, he quietly navigated the house to the room he was sure Voldemort was hiding in. His breathing quickened as he passed through the door and raised his wand to the back of Voldemort's head.
"Go away, Potter, I've almost got the high score on the Return of the Return of Dr. Sloth."
