Eruren/Eruere Week Day 6: Reincarnation/AU
Screams jolted Erwin from sleep, loud and piercing. He reached out blindly in the darkness, pushing through the sheets toward the thrashing body near the other edge of the bed. A fist collided with his arm but he paid the pain no mind as he caught Eren's wrist and reeled him in. His arms circled around Eren, locking his thrashing limbs to his torso. His legs still flailed beneath the covers, lashing out at unseen enemies, but Erwin left those be as he tangled a hand into soft, sweaty brown hair.
"Eren… Eren, it's alright. You're alright. I promise."
He knew Eren couldn't hear him, that it didn't matter how much he whispered into his ears or how loud his voice rose. It wouldn't help, not while he was ensnared within the sticky webs of the nightmares. ANother blow, this time a heel straight to the shin. Erwin winced and pulled his legs back a little further away. "You're here Eren. You're not there in that world, you aren't. You're alive. I'm alive." We're all alive. Please… wake up. Escape that world.
The screams lasted for a few minutes more before they finally died away, fading into weak whimpers and rough gasps. Movement gradually ceased as well until only the rapid rise and fall of his chest and the faint tremors that rolled through his body. "Eren?"
The young man twisted in his arms and tipped his head back, arms wrapping tight around Erwin. Nails bit into his bare back but the feeling was pushed away, all his focus going to Eren. "I… Erwin… Oh God… Dead… E-everyone is d-d-dead… I…" His voice was hoarse and rough, barely above a raw whisper. "It's alright Eren. That was a dream. Just a dream. None of it was real. I promise, none of it." He combed Eren's sweaty chestnut hair back off his forehead. "I promise, it was just a bad dream." "So real… It was so real…"
Erwin stiffened, hand stilling on Eren's head and back for a moment before he continued, eyes unfocused. "Some dreams are like that. Trust me, those aren't real."
A soft sniff met his words, joined soon by a nod. His fingers ran along Eren's back, tracing the contours of his warm skin as he touched Eren's face. His cheeks were damp, fresh hot tears dripping down and replacing the ones he wiped away. Hands shifted as Eren moved to help smear the tears away with several more muffled sniffs, shoulders shaking and hitching. They pulled each other close, fingers digging into skin, limbs intertwining, heads bowing close together. "Erwin…" The name was spoken into his neck, muffled and faltering. "I… I'm sorry…"
"Don't apologize," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to the top of Eren's head, breathing in the scent of soap and shampoo and something wholly and uniquely Eren. "Just sleep, okay? It'll all be better in the morning."
Eren squeezed Erwin's elbow and wriggled a little closer even though they were almost as close as they could possibly get. The younger man released another heavy sigh but when his face tucked back into Erwin's neck, it was mostly dry. With an arm draped over Eren's side, it wasn't hard to feel when his breaths began to grow regular, changing into gentle whispers across his skin. Only then did Erwin let a frown curl his lips, unknown to his sleeping lover.
"Eren…"
It was almost impossible to tell it he was actually remembering or not. Dreams were so fickle, particularly with Eren. Especially when the dreams were anything but ordinary. Most of the nightmares he never seemed to recall and even the ones he remembered were easily dismissed and forgotten, the memories of the long gone by morning.
Such was a good thing for the most part. Eren didn't have to remember their friends and comrades being slaughtered and devoured by the Titans. He didn't have to be constantly haunted by the ghosts of the dead who were now living or by phantom pains. He was almost completely blissfully unaware of the past life they had shared so many thousands of years ago.
But it was hard knowing that Eren didn't remember the better things of that world - the kind of things that had made his face light up enough to rival the sun on a midsummer day. Things like reclaiming Wall Maria, then Shiganshia; like soaring through the air on wings of metal and gas and wire; like gentle kisses and sweet words shared when they had a few blissful moments alone, the kind of moments that were more intoxicating and special than rolling through the sheets, sweaty and panting out their love. It's better this way. He doesn't need that burden, not again.
He had dealt with enough hardships. Losing his limbs countless times; watching his comrades - his friends - disappear down the throats of Titans or be crushed; being betrayed by the people he had trained beside for several years; being executed in the very end despite all he had done for humanity - they couldn't bear to leave a Titan alive, no matter what.
Please… whatever diety controls this world, our lives, do him one favor. Never let him remember unless he truly wants to. Just… let him have some peace.
Turquoise orbs flicked open to a dim room, waves of white sheets rising before his eyes. His jaws split open in a yawn, sleep dragging at his eyes. Another dream last night? I don't remember… He could remember clinging to Erwin, sniffing and choking out words half-remembered. He sighed and pressed back to the arm that pillowed his head. It was comfortable. But it felt… wrong.
Something about it felt so strange. HIs eyes cracked open a little wider and stared down the length of Erwin's arm. Down the pale skin dusted with faint freckles, golden hairs laying across it, fingers curled up toward the ceiling. All the oxygen fled Eren's lungs. He felt like he'd been sucker punched and he couldn't understand why. It was just… Eren twisted beneath the weight of Erwin's other arm and clutched at his shoulder. Something was wrong. Strange. Different.
"Eren…?" He sniffed and shook his head, burying his face a little closer into the warmth of Erwin's chest. "Hey… you alright?"
Eren nodded. A hand - the left one - rose to comb through his hair. The other settled in the middle of his back, a weight that should have been comforting but felt… off. "Erwin… do you… do you ever feel like something isn't right? Like… like something shouldn't be there?"
The hands stilled for a moment before he continued, rubbing soothing circles into Eren's scalp. "It's normal to feel like that, Eren."
"But I don't know what isn't right..."
"And that's okay. I'm sure it will come to you soon."
Eren nodded and sighed. He hated feeling like that, like something was just off. It was almost as bad as the itch in his mind, the kind he always got when he had forgotten something. And this thing felt important, extraordinarily so. What did I forget? Does it have anything to do with those nightmares? With the dreams half-remembered, almost always forgotten as soon as his eyes opened. Glimpses sometimes remained: flashes of green splashed with white and blue; Erwin standing on a thick branch dozens of meters above the ground; giant beasts that looked humanoid but never seemed to act it. Eren sighed, shaking away the thoughts as he hugged Erwin a little closer. "Let's stay in bed for a while."
"Okay."
