Title: CAMPFIRE THOUGHTS
Author: Brokeback Mountain
Rating: R
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx. I make no money off of them.
Warning: None
Summary: Ennis's thoughts before and during the second tent scene.
CAMPFIRE THOUGHTS
"He wants me to go in there, I know he does." The thought was
pounding in his head, rattling round in his brain; burning in his
blood, making it hard to breathe. "Must be the whiskey." he tried to
tell himself, though it never bothered him like this before. A sideways glance showed that movement had stopped in the tent. He'd settled down.
"Maybe he's asleep. He was pretty tired or somethin. He was lookin
at me kinda funny like. Maybe he don't feel good.
"Or maybe it was what happened last night?"
"No! That don't count. We was both drunk. That...thing. Just
kinda happened. Don't mean nothin."
"He's still movin 'round. He ain't asleep."
"Don't matter whether he's asleep or awake. I ain't going in there.
I'm going back up on the mountain with the sheep where I'm supposed
to be."
"He took his shirt off."
"That's cause it's warm tonight; don't mean nothin. Don't mean he's
waiting in there for you."
"Sure don't wanna sleep with those sheep tonight. Maybe if I stay
here by the fire..."
"Last night was just one of those things that happen that there ain't
no explaining. Don't mean it'll ever happen again. Cause I ain't
queer and neither is he. Just something that happened. That's all."
"Sure is quiet in there. Maybe I should check on him. See he's OK."
He's starin at me when I come in. Got this real serious look on
him. Should say somethin. Don't know what. He's sitting up; moving
close. Have to turn away. Don't know why. He's touching my
cheek. "It's OK" he whispers. Hard to breathe. No air in here or
somethin. His forehead against mine. Nice. Why don't he talk? Say
something? We should talk. Holdin my head. He's so close. Feels
good. I should maybe say somethin. Pulling my face closer. Wants
to kiss me. Can't. Ain't right. Two fellas. Not right. Mouth feels
good. Not like Alma. Softer...no...harder. Don't know. Can't
think. Mouth so good on mine. Different. Can't breathe. Don't
stop. Feel like I'm drownin in him. Don't want it to end. He
raises up but I pull him back. "Don't stop" I whisper. He smiles
and kisses me again; longer this time. Can't be right. Too good to
be wrong. Too good to stop.
The End
