Title: THE HEART BREAKS
Author: Brokeback Mountain
Pairing: Jack and Ennis
Rating: R
Warning: M/M scene
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx
Summary: What might have happened on Jack's trip to Mexico.
THE HEART BREAKS
He drove away from Riverton as fast as he could. He had to get
away; far away as fast he could; couldn't let down yet; not yet.
He pulled over just outside the city limits; couldn't see any more.
The tears flooded his eyes and he gave way to it; let it all out.
Ennis didn't want him; didn't want him; didn't want him. It echoed
through his empty heart. He'd turned him away; had to spend time
with the girls; couldn't miss that.
"Just where do I fuckin fit into your life Ennis?" he pounded his
fist onto the steering wheel. "Don't I matter at all?" His voice
strangled, unrecognizable by tears.
He didn't know how long he sat there before pulling back onto the
highway again. He drove on in stony silence. Hour passed hour, his
turn-off towards Texas passed and he watched it go by, dry eyed,
stayed on Highway 25 straight to El Paso. It was late when he
crossed the border to Juarez.
He took the side alley he'd heard the fellas in the bar years ago
talking about. It was still there. The place where you could get
anything you wanted.
He chose a tall slender fella and they left the alley together. A
short walk later they entered a dimly lit room; furnished sparsely,
just a bed, chair and table; didn't matter. Only thing that
mattered was stemming this pain that was eating him alive.
Hat on the table, he toed his boots off. "Senor?" the fella said,
waiting for instructions.
He motioned towards the bed and the guy lay down. He crossed the
room and sat next to him on the side of the bed. He stared down at him
and couldn't take his eyes away. "This is not him!" This is not
him!" something inside him was screaming. He dropped his face to his
hands and began to weep. Great desperate sobs shook him.
"Senor. Senor?" the confused man tried to comfort him.
"No. Don't touch me!" he choked out. "Here!" He tossed a hand full
of bills on the bed; got his boots and hat and left.
"Can't do it, Cowboy. I know you think I been doin it on a regular
basis but it ain't no good with nobody but you. I'll wait. I'll do
like you said, I can't change it so I'll have to stand it. I'll
wait. Till I take my last breath I'll wait for you, Cowboy.
THE END
