Title: THE HEART BREAKS

Author: Brokeback Mountain

Pairing: Jack and Ennis

Rating: R

Warning: M/M scene

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx

Summary: What might have happened on Jack's trip to Mexico.

THE HEART BREAKS

He drove away from Riverton as fast as he could. He had to get

away; far away as fast he could; couldn't let down yet; not yet.

He pulled over just outside the city limits; couldn't see any more.

The tears flooded his eyes and he gave way to it; let it all out.

Ennis didn't want him; didn't want him; didn't want him. It echoed

through his empty heart. He'd turned him away; had to spend time

with the girls; couldn't miss that.

"Just where do I fuckin fit into your life Ennis?" he pounded his

fist onto the steering wheel. "Don't I matter at all?" His voice

strangled, unrecognizable by tears.

He didn't know how long he sat there before pulling back onto the

highway again. He drove on in stony silence. Hour passed hour, his

turn-off towards Texas passed and he watched it go by, dry eyed,

stayed on Highway 25 straight to El Paso. It was late when he

crossed the border to Juarez.

He took the side alley he'd heard the fellas in the bar years ago

talking about. It was still there. The place where you could get

anything you wanted.

He chose a tall slender fella and they left the alley together. A

short walk later they entered a dimly lit room; furnished sparsely,

just a bed, chair and table; didn't matter. Only thing that

mattered was stemming this pain that was eating him alive.

Hat on the table, he toed his boots off. "Senor?" the fella said,

waiting for instructions.

He motioned towards the bed and the guy lay down. He crossed the

room and sat next to him on the side of the bed. He stared down at him

and couldn't take his eyes away. "This is not him!" This is not

him!" something inside him was screaming. He dropped his face to his

hands and began to weep. Great desperate sobs shook him.

"Senor. Senor?" the confused man tried to comfort him.

"No. Don't touch me!" he choked out. "Here!" He tossed a hand full

of bills on the bed; got his boots and hat and left.

"Can't do it, Cowboy. I know you think I been doin it on a regular

basis but it ain't no good with nobody but you. I'll wait. I'll do

like you said, I can't change it so I'll have to stand it. I'll

wait. Till I take my last breath I'll wait for you, Cowboy.

THE END