A/N: Written for a prompt on Norsekink LJ that essentially asked: Loki thinks compared to the dungeons of Asgard, a prison cell on Earth is a wellness resort, and he rather likes it.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money.

Music: "Twa Corbies" by Schelmish


The Ties That Bind

„He chose WHAT?" Thor and Fury shouted at the same time.

„My brother belongs in Asgard." the distressed thundergod added, while Fury mumbled: „We can't keep the nutter here."

But the gouvernment officials insisted. There was no going back on the deal. That meant, the deranged trickster god would remain in his SHIELD prison cell chained hand and foot as he was, serving his life in prison sentence, until no doubt he'd break out one day and go on another killing spree.

The director was getting a headache.

Thor went to talk to Tony Stark.


Some weeks later, the magic-repressing cell in the basement of Stark Tower was completed, functional and even tested as best they could. Stark had flown in a gypsy witch from Latveria, who, as expected, could not do any spells inside the cell.

When asked to prove that she could outside, she had turned the unassuming philodendron in the office corner into a lively monster with writhing green tentacles. With quite some difficulty, the Avengers had subdued the plant and shoved it into the special cell, where it had promptly returned to normal. They decided to leave it there. A plant to talk to might even do Loki good.

Arriving at the SHIELD base, Thor, Steve and Tony found the fallen god naked in a cool, dimly lit cell, shackled to a metal bedframe, a feeding tube in his nose. The fit the super soldier threw was nearly as bad as his Asgardian friend's.

„We don't torture! We are the good guys!"

„How dare you treat a prince of Asgard so?" The supposedly superstrong door broke from its hinges with a single strike form Mjölnir.

„I'm not going to Asgard, I'm not!" shrieked the prisoner, newly unshackled and freed of the feeding tube. Loki was backing into a corner like a panther in a zoo with the vetinarian on visit. „You swore! We had a bargain. I am to stay here, forever."

„Brother, you are out of your mind. You can not want to stay here. It's a disgrace, a shame for the house of Odin. Come with me and return to your rightful place!"

Green magic light erupted from the naked figure's hands when the thunderer advanced on him, pushing everyone out of the cell none too gently.

„Wait wait wait what? He has his magic?" a wide-eyed Tony stark asked director Fury.

„O'course he has! We don't have the energy to suppress his magic field. That's the only reason I agreed to hand him over to you with your tower's arc reactor. Genius inventor? Get a brain."

„If he has his magic, why is he still here?"

„I'll be damned if I know, Stark. Guy's crazy."


At length, they were able to coax the chaos god out of his corner and talk him into taking a look at his new cell, on the condition that Thor renewed his oath not to take him back to Asgard, and both Stark and Fury swore he could choose to return to his SHIELD cell any time he pleased if he did not like Stark's.

That done, Loki offered his hands to be shackled without protest and looked very puzzled when agent Hill ran to find him a SHIELD issue tracksuit first. Did Asgardians usually walk around naked on their home planet? Tony would ask Thor later. Could be fun after some drinks.


An uneventful ride in a pointlessly reinforced prisoner transport car later, standing in front of the custom-made cell, Loki dug in his heels and shivered. „I want back."

„What?" Had they heard right? This cell had a bed with mattress, a chair, table, loo, sink and even a shower, and Tony hadn't yet shown the special feature: Jarvis could project films and e-books on a wall, so no running errands with books, checking them for hidden messages or knives, and so forth. Heck, the room even had a lovely philodendron.

„Bring me back to my cell at SHIELD. Now!"

„Wow, wow, there, Rudolph. What's the matter? Too fancy for you? I didn't take you for the type, but with all the leather clothing … Maybe horny wants a real dungeon with pillory and shackles, and Steve should whip him twice per day?"

Poor joke and poorer timing. Loki went white as a sheet and threw a full-blown panic attack, tearing his handcuffs apart and scorching the walls with energy blasts. It took all of Thor's strength, and placing Mjölnir on his brother's chest, to subdue him – incidentally inside the cell.

Some shallow, laboured breaths later, and the god relaxed, resigned to defeat. „You tricked me. And they call me trickster." He closed his eyes, gathering himself, then looked at Tony. „What will the plant do?"

„The plant? Nothing. It's a plant. You can talk to it, it's therapeutic."

„Stopy lying, mortal! It's magic. I can't use my power here, but still can feel it. What will that plant do to me?"

Plant? Do to …? Then it clicked in the inventor's mind. Tony's thoughts went in turmoil, a flashback to his time in the Afghan cave threatening at the back of his mind. He needed whisky. Badly.

Thankfully, Steve took over, explaining how the plant had wound up here. „Look, Loki. We don't want to torture you. Stark built this cell so that you needn't be shackled all the time. It was supposed to be an improvement over your cell at SHIELD. If the plant disturbs you, we will remove it. I gave you my word to take you back if you insist, and I will keep it, but please give this a try first, will you? We need to repair the handcuffs anyway in case you want the transport back. By the way, you can dim the light and adjust temperature if you want, just tell Jarvis."

„Jarvis?"

„He is … oh he'll best explain that on his own. I'll stay here with you until you have made your decision. Now, Thor, Tony, please remove the plant."


Thor was not given to brooding. Puréeing the philodendron with his hammer had distracted him from Loki's fears, and now that Jane Foster had arrived in New York, thunder-boy didn't even visit his brother any more. Tony did brood, but never could convince himself he wanted to talk to their prisoner about … things. Said prisoner being safely locked away, Jarvis and the bots taking care of his needs. The supervillain now even washed and showered on his own account, after Steve had given a demonstration (in swimming trunks no less, what a sahme) that nothing harmful dripped out of the faucets, just plain old water.

Only when Steve returned from a long tour of duty did anyone take an interest in Loki's state of being again.

„Jarvis?" Tony looked up blearily from his whisky bottle under Captain Spandex' reproachful gaze. „How's the evil overlord?"

„Mr Skywalker is fine, Sir." the bodyless voice answered. „I took the liberty of adjusting his diet."

„You did?" upstanding-moral-Spandex interrupted. „What did you feed him, Stark, and what does he get now?" Tony disliked the accusatory tone. As if he'd fed the clown mouldy flatbread or something.

Jarvis replied: „Mr Skywalker was malnourished and underfed upon arrival. I determined that pizza and burgers did not meet his nutritional needs. Under a diet including fresh vegetables and fish, his vital signs have much improved. I dare say the same would go for you, Sir."

Tony grumbled.

Steve looked mollified. „And say, what did he do all this time? Does he read?"

„Currently, Mr Skywalker is teaching me hnefatafl, an Asgardian board game. It's a diversion from our usual fast chess. In case you wonder, Mr Rogers: I have multitasking. By the way, Sir, it would be kind of you to program a hnefatafl board into my games selection, since the cleaning bots destroy our improvised game set of breadcrumbs on the floor every other day."

Steve and Tony stood mouth agape.