I knew you were trouble.

"I think-I think when it's all over,
It just comes back in flashes, you know?" I'm sitting crosslegged across from Kurt in our flat. It's raining and cold outside and we're waiting for Rachel to come home from school.
"It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.
It just all comes back. But she never does.
I think part of me knew the second I saw her that this would happen.
It's not really anything she said or anything she did,
It was the feeling that came along with it." I don't know if I should go on or not.
"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again.
But I don't know if I should.
I knew her world moved too fast and burned too bright.
But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when she smiles at you?
Maybe she knew that when she saw me."I take a deep breath in.
"I guess I just lost my balance.
I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing her.
It was losing me."
"Oh San, it's okay. I know you miss Brittany." He walked over to me and squeezed me in a big hug, and that's when the tears started falling out of my eyes.

Later that night, the wind is howling and the rain is pounding on the roof and I'm lying in bed, alone wishing I was elsewhere.

"Coach Sue, you asked to see me?"
"Yes, I'd like to introduce you to our newest Cheerio. She'll be here in a minute." Sue and I were sitting in her office, she continued to go about whatever it is that she does, ignoring me as we both waited for our new Cheerio.
After several minutes of waiting and being ignored, there was a knock on the door that entered into Sue's office.
I look up and see the most magnificent Blonde staring back at me with the biggest most adorable blue eyes, she swiftly entered the office. I took the time to notice she had an amazing body. She must be an athlete, a dancer maybe? I could see the outline of her six pack through her thin, white shirt.
"Hi, my name's Brittany. This school is really cool!" She said, holding her hand out to me first.
I sat there dumbstruck, holy shit, here comes trouble. She's amazing!
"Oh, um. I'm Santana," I shook her extended hand.
"You are totally unicorn." She swayed her long, blonde hair in the direction of the door and it gathered gracefully down her back. She was pure fabulous.
"Welcome to McKinley, welcome to my Cheerios squad," Sue said, standing up to face Brittany over top of me.
"Thanks, you must be Coach Sylvester."
"That's me. Now, if you think this will be easy, think again. I keep my Cheerios looking good and performing good at all times."
"Yes Coach. I can't wait to work with you."
"For me, Brittany. You do as I say. Now get out of my office." Brittany just stood there, she wasn't quite sure of what to say, or do for that matter.
"That's just how she talks. I'll show you round." I say, leading the way down the now empty halls of McKinley High.
We were nearly half way through my 'Fantastic Tour of the Hell Hole that is McKinley' as I referred to it, and Brittany extended her pinkie out to mine. I was caught off guard, feeling not myself so I extended my pinkie and we finished the tour linked together.

I liked her, I knew that...it was just I wasn't sure of how much I liked her and I didn't want to admit to anything, because I didn't want to have to commit to something. I have commitment issues, I'll be the first person to admit that. I like casual sex, no talking, no eye contact...not relationships with feelings.
I think I was scared, because I always knew that it wouldn't work...that I'd finally become committed to something, and then she'd leave...take a step back, without me. She was easy going and didn't care much about what other people thought. I guess I liked that. I needed someone like that, to help me grow as a person.

I learnt everything about Brittany. She transferred from Jasmine Heights, where she was a cheerleader for their squad. She is a dancer, I picked that one and she's very fit. She lives with both of her parents and they're both supportive of her pursuing a career in dancing. She has a cat; Lord Tubbington, he's a drug dealer that reads her diary. She told me one day she hopes to host a Internet talk show. I wasn't sure if it was, but I told her that's a great idea.
She's probably not the sharpest tool in the shed, she left her old school because everyone tormented her; saying she's stupid. I would never call her that, not in a million years. She means too much to me already.
She's already met Quinn, they like met at a cheer camp or something. Things kind of felt weird when she was talking about Q. Like there was something I didn't know.

"Hey Santana, it's Brittany."
"Yeah Britt I know, what's up babe?" I say, perfecting my pedicure as I cradeled the phone in between my shoulder and neck.
"I want to take you somewhere."
"Where are we talking, B?"
"Just somewhere. Somewhere you've never been before." She sounded certain and genuine on the phone.
"Alright, I'll meet you at yours. See you soon!" I hang up the phone an grab a pair of flip flops, to match my black skinny jeans and bright red shirt and race out the door, jumping into my car.

That day Brittany took me to a place that I had never been to, she took me to a cute little cafe a few hours out of town. We laughed and sang, while we drove, it was an amazing trip. She can really sing...there simply isn't anything she can't do. Sing dance, cheer. She can just do it all. It was that day I realized I loved Brittany. More than a friend. It was also that day the war inside me began.

"Where are we going, San?! Just tell me!" I was driving my car with Brittany at my side, her pinkie locked with mine.
"You'll see!" I giggled.
We spent the day sitting on the riverbank, just talking and laughing. We grabbed some fish and chips from a shop near by for lunch, and ice creams for the trip home. It was the perfect day. She put her arm around me, as we stared at the water. It was just a beautiful day, I felt safe and protected in Brittany's arms, like all the bad things in my life couldn't touch me.

"Quinn, Brittany, Santana! Come here!" Coach Sue yelled during a practice one afternoon.
"Yes Coach?" Q asked, as we approached Sue.
"Follow me." She replied, before waking off, not bothering to check if we were actually following her.

When we arrived at our destination, I found we were at one of the top seats of our Auditorium. The Glee Club was on stage when we got there, singing Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing.' I only know the song because it's Papi's favourite.
Finn, who's Quinn's boyfriend was singing and making gooey eyes at the Dwarf.
"Is that Rachel Berry?" Brittany whispers to me, halfway through the song.
"You mean Dwarf? Yeah, that's her." I whisper back. Brittany tries to hide a giggle at my remark, but doesn't do it very well. Earning her a glare from one Sue Sylvester.
Quinn just stands there, I'm sure there are a million things rolling over in her head, ways to make sure that Berry never lays an eye on her man ever again, but that's Q and no one ever really sees inside her mind.

I look back now, from here in New York and I have this fear...it's a sad fear that maybe Brittany never loved me...Or Quinn, or Sam or Artie. Or anyone. I always knew she was trouble, and that she'd bring trouble.