Hey everyone! I'm back again but I'm not so sure how I feel about this fanfic, I don't hate it, but I'm not in love with it, so you're gonna be the judges here!
I don't intend this to be a Dramione fanfic, for me it's just friendship, but you can take it the way you like it, I kind of like this pairing.
I'm supposed to be studying now but I couldn't wait to post this one.
Please pweaaase read and review.
Thank youuuuuu
I dragged my feet behind me with tremendous effort as I roamed the quiet corridors, searching for an empty classroom to stay and maybe even sleep in. My dormitory was a hell-hole; I didn't want any association with these air-heads anymore. My head was spinning to the point I could barely walk without falling down.
I finally found my sanctuary. I walked into the barely lit classroom and sat on the dirty floor, stretching my tired legs and giving out a small sigh as my aching body relatively relaxed. I didn't even bother to close the door, nobody was going to come here anyway, and if they did, I would simply kick them out.
So, I just sat there, trying not to think of anything, for any thought could…would cause me pain.
I suddenly heard a crashing noise and a familiar female voice hissing questioningly. I cursed under my breath and reached for my wand when a blinding light attacked my sensitive eyes.
Hermione freaking Granger, great, that's exactly what I have been missing. I thought darkly.
"You're supposed to be in your dormitory at this hour. Please go to sleep now before I give you a..." she paused mid-sentence as she called out my name in surprise –and to my own surprise, not in disgust- and her eyes widened. "Malfoy?"
I couldn't find my voice to reply to her semi-question, I simply glared at her in what I hoped to be a challenging way.
She seemed to swallow her pride when she cleared her throat and said "A...Are you okay, Malfoy?" her expression was hard but her tone was soft. And then I realised why she looked surprised when she saw me, I must have looked like a wreck. I cursed myself silently for being such an open book. Even this mudblood could see right through me.
"I'm fine," I said sharply. "Just leave me alone you filthy mudblood". I felt immediately guilty as the words left my lips. She gasped lightly and I saw pain flicker across her face, but she quickly composed herself and took in a deep breath.
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" she asked, her brows furrowed in confusion and genuine concern.
No, there's no way she could care. Besides, I shouldn't yield for attention from her. To me, she's a creature unworthy of being alive.
I leapt from my place, whipping my wand from my pocket and pointed it right into her heart.
She didn't even blink, I gotta give it to her, she wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for nothing, but she was still pathetic.
"Cut the act, mudblood," I emphasized the word to hurt her even more. "I know you have that perfect, caring girl mask, but I never fell for it, and I will never do no matter how hard you try," I sneered, euphoria washing over me as I saw her wounded expression. I had expected her to cry or hurl a curse at me, or even storm out of the classroom, but what she said next took me by complete surprise.
"I know you're hurting, Malfoy," she began softly. "You have as much feelings as anyone else, don't try to deny it," She approached me and I backed away a few steps, stumbling and falling to the floor.
My breathing rate quickened as I felt her break all the walls I had built around myself to keep anyone of knowing how much I resembled a wounded animal, just waiting for its destined death. Shivers ran down my spine, this was not supposed to happen, I'm a Malfoy, I'm not supposed to seem so weak, in front of that mudblood, nonetheless.
I was cornered, but instead of feeling fear or endangerment, I was relieved that someone had seen right through my masquerade, even if that someone was one of my worst enemies since I started attending Hogwarts.
She hesitated before she took a deep breath, "I know we're not the best of friends," she chuckled mirthlessly, "We sort of hate each other," she said, rolling her eyes. "But, I don't hate you to the point of seeing you like that and not doing something about it," she said with kindness radiating from her voice and face.
I tried to sneer, or even call her another insulting name, but I felt my facial features contort in pain. Oh, how I hated myself for being so weak, but I needed someone, anyone to talk to, and despite the fact that we'd hated each other for 6 years -and we still did- at that moment, she seemed trustworthy. To the bewilderment of both of us, she rushed to my side and sat beside me on the cold floor, keeping her distance.
She adjusted her position to face me with her questioning, caring eyes. "You can tell me, you know, mudbloods can keep a secret" she said this bitterly but I knew she wanted to help.
"Why do you even want to know?" I said in an accusatory tone.
She shook her head. "I have no idea, Malfoy, but I can't stand to see someone –even if it was you- like that," she said with a half-smile.
Her display of affection for me –however she hated me- triggered something within my soul and I couldn't help but trust her even for once.
"I'm…I'm not sure where I belong, I mean…" I faltered for a moment. "I don't want to be where I am right now, and I want to be on the side I'm not supposed to belong to and…. ..do even you understand anything of what I just said? Because I don't," I said with a rueful smile.
She nodded encouragingly, but I could say no more, I tried to fully trust her, but I just couldn't break 6 years of hatred on one night.
I could practically hear the wheels turning in her brilliant mind –for I had to admit, she really was brilliant-. She must have been on her way to understanding everything.
She sat silently, partially thinking and partially in shock caused by my sudden, insult-free outburst. And while I waited for her to respond, I held a strand of my platinum hair between my fingers and stared at it in disgust. I wanted to tear it off my scalp; it always reminded me of my descendance, but their genes ran in my blood, getting rid of my Malfoy trademark hair wasn't going to help me forget or deny my cursed ancestry, it wasn't going to make it any easier. I'd simply have to embrace the fact that the dark side was my one true destiny, but I didn't want to be evil despite the fact that I'd been raised among a family of death eaters. It was all so confusing, but overall, I knew I was doomed.
She called my attention with her voice. "Malfoy," she began softly, "They don't define who you are, you don't have to be like them," she said with her eyes penetrating mine. I was shocked beyond belief; it was like she could read my mind.
I felt a hesitant hand reach out and her warm fingers curled around my cold ones, gently loosening their grasp on my hair and placing my hand in my lap. She drew her smaller hand quickly, fearing that she had "contaminated" me.
My mind had screamed at me to jinx her for daring to touch me, yell at her or even call her a mudblood like I always did. But her caring gestures broke my heart.
From the day we met, I had called her names, made my aim to make her and her friends' life unbearable and tried to hurt her in every way possible, and here she was, holding me together and protecting me from falling apart, just like an old, loyal friend.
I had never shown my vulnerability to anyone. I had always seemed unbreakable; I didn't want to show my moment of weakness to anyone, especially not her, being so open to her felt amazing yet terrifying. She made me feel so…human, which was something which I hadn't felt for a very long time.
I managed to send a small smile in her direction and I tried to fill it with gratitude, which was so unfamiliar to my usual glaring features, as a result, it turned into a grimace, but she understood what I was trying to do and returned my smile with some confusion.
My heart was thumping loudly, never in my life had I experienced this kind of feelings before. I had never considered anyone to be my friend. Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini and even Parkinson were just companions to me, almost servants, but with her, I could taste the faintest hint of real friendship, however unlikely it was, but maybe it was all just my imagination and she only wanted me back in my dorm so she could do her job as a prefect.
Her voice shook me out of my thoughts. "You were not destined to join the dark side; you are not a bad person. M…..D..Draco" she stuttered my first name and it sounded so strange coming out in her voice but it didn't make her tone any less passionate.
"Don't do this to yourself, you still have hope!" tears shone in her eyes and they fell down her face like waterfalls and I had the urge to wipe them with my thumb, but my arrogant, cruel side stopped me.
"I can't," I said shortly, avoiding her begging gaze. "I can't," I repeated helplessly, this time sobbing a few times, but no tears came out, I couldn't cry, I was not physically able to cry and it was killing me, but her tears compensated my lack thereof.
She quickly collected herself and stopped crying. She sniffed lightly and she locked her warm, brown eyes with my steel ones. "Yes, you can, Draco Malfoy, or at least you can try," she said determinedly but softly. "Please just try, don't you ever think there's no way out. Dumbledore can help you, he can…"
"NO!" I yelled suddenly. "Dumbledore is the last one who can help me" I said with a panicked expression on my face.
She stared at me confusedly and I was able to read her silent question. "I'm sorry Granger, I can't tell you why, in fact, I can't tell you anything, please understand," I begged her.
She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed, nodding her head lightly.
We stayed in a few minutes of silence when the loud chime of the clock startled us and cut our separate train wrecks of thoughts. We shared a solemn look, knowing that this was our first and last meeting together where we weren't at each other's throats. It was an awful feeling.
"We need to go," she said. I nodded. I helped her get up and she left the classroom with me towing her and I shut the door behind me.
We were going to our separate ways when I suddenly yelled "HERMIONE". She whipped her head around to face me, her mouth hung open in shock.
"I never…truly hated you, you know" I breathed, surprising both her and myself. "But I had to, I hope you understand that," I went on, "I don't enjoy calling you a m..that name either," I said awkwardly and I waited for her response.
She seemed to be thinking for a moment but when she found out I was being truly honest, she beamed. "Well, I don't think you're a cruel, arrogant, spoiled, bratty ferret either," she paused. "Well maybe just a little bit, but you're not as bad as before," she smiled playfully, in an attempt to cheer me and herself up.
I played along and rolled my eyes at her friendly insults and we shared a wry grin. We stood silently, not quite ready to go to our separate ways yet, so I stepped towards her and put a shaky hand on her shoulder. "Thank you," my tone was full with as much gratitude as I could muster, and I removed my hand quickly, not because I was disgusted, but because I was scared, it was too foreign for me.
"Anytime," she said, "I..I just want you to know that it's never too late,"
"I know," I lied, unconsciously touching the newly carved dark mark on my left arm. It was too late, but I'd never let her know, I wouldn't bear to disappoint her. "I promise I'll try," lies kept pouring out of my mouth but it was for the best. She nodded understandingly, with hope written all over her face. It tore me apart.
We shared one last sad smile before we turned around and headed into our respective worlds, possibly parting ways forever.
When I saw the hope etched on her face, I decided that I really would try, but finding the road to joining the good side was going to be the hardest experience I'd ever go through, and I knew it was going to torture me beyond my power.
But sometimes, I like to think that I'll always have a true friend by my side.
Thank you so much for reading (and future reviewing, because I know you're not too lazy to review the poor little story written by a poor little author, besides, I'll give you a chocolate cookie and a fluffy unicorn)
A/N: I made a few adjustments to this fanfiction to make it more believable, I hope that it's better that way.
